(From Sarah, the wife of a recently admitted trans person, after they attended several of the Helen & Betty events held here Memorial weekend 2007. Originally posted on the MHB message boards. Posted here with Sarah's permission.)


Thank You Diane

Three weeks ago 'my love' emailed me with news of Helen and Betty's planned trip to Cleveland. I thought he was crazy! I was on week 4 of finding out and he wanted me to hang out with people I didn't know who could sit in judgment of my faults dealing with his transness! I felt like telling him "Have a nice trip! Don't let the door hit you in the ass!" Well, after a lot of reflection and several assurances on his part that there would be other spouses and partners there I agreed to go. We got back yesterday and I had a blast!

We attended a book signing on Saturday and a discussion group on Sunday afternoon. I learned so much and even though I was the only spouse besides Helen there, it didn't bother me. I was so worried in the beginning that other trans people would tell me I had no business being there. That as a partner I should just learn how to deal with it. I was so wrong. Everyone I spoke to told me that the only way we were going to preserve the love we do share was to take each step together. I have no idea how far my love's transition will take him, but I have promised I will go as far as I can.

Sunday night we went to the nightclub and I finally got to meet other spouses and partners. I wanted to cry. I know in my mind that there are other spouses out there, but they are on my computer. I have no idea what they look like, if they have an accent, or even what their voices sound like. Before this weekend, at times it was so impersonal that in my heart I still felt alone. I do not anymore. I met some of the nicest, most caring people. They were strong women and partners. They were strong people. They gave me a sense of hope that I hadn't achieved yet.

The main reason I'm writing this is because I wanted to thank Diane Frank. She organized the events over the weekend and did a fantastic job. I know she was hoping for more support from the major networks, but I think she pulled off a wonderful weekend. If she hadn't taken the time to set up all that, I would still be typing a personal letter into an impersonal space.

Thank you Diane,

If it's any consolation, you helped me. You helped me in ways that I didn't even know I needed. The opportunities you provided me and my husband are now memories and experiences we will treasure forever. Thank you for being you, dreaming your dream, and here's a quote for you:


"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen.
"When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
--Lewis Carroll


Sarah