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Alpha Omega Minutes – May 8, 1999

 

Gloria called the meeting to order.

 

Lori  introduced our new people Linda and Diana.

 

Tomorrow  May 9th. at 6:30 Emmanuel Christian Fellowship Church is having  A Concert of Love, Healing and Renewal 

 

Susie talked about the Be-All.

 

Next months speaker will be an Electrologist.

 

We would like to change the name of the Library Charity Fund to the Outreach Fund so we can use the money for more things. Kathleen made the motion we change the name . Abby sec. motion passed.

 

Gloria received a form from the I R S. They want confirmation that we are under $25 thousand dollars.

 

Kathleen will have Books and Videos from our library at the meetings if anyone wants to borrow  them.

 

Debbie has been putting our old newsletters on the computer and will put them on CD ROM.

 

The August 14th. meeting will be a non-dressed meeting. It will be a picnic at Gloria and Kathleen’s. Peggy is our food coordinator. Next months dinner will be a cold cut tray.

 

Cheryl’s sister is working on an Alpha Omega Logo. It will be combined with the Rainbow Trail Logo.

 

Lisa would like to get a Lap Top Computer for the group. The cost is $250. with shipping. The General Affairs Committee

 

recommends we get the Lap Top. Diane Vernon made the motion we get the Lap Top. Kathleen sec. Motion passed.

 

Cheryl announced that there has been 250 hits this past week to the  Rainbow  Trail.

 

Gloria hopes to have a draft of the Constitution by the next meeting. Kathleen and Cheryl would like to have  S.O. profiles in the news letter and on the web site.

 

We are considering on having a Hobby Night.

 

With no further business the meeting was adjourned.

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED

Elaine Benton

Secretary/ Treasurer 

Together

(An editorial)

 

Why can't we all just get along?

Gosh, that seems as though it would be so simple, doesn't it?

But simple it isn't.

That one has a different colored skin.

That one has a funny sounding name.

That one has a strange accent to their speech.

That one comes from some foreign country.

That one ain't got no learnin'.

That one is too educated.

That one just looks weird.

That one is crazy.

That one is sick.

That one is a snob.

That one's just plain trash.

That one's a prude.

That one's too easy.

That one hurt my feelings.

That one wronged my family.

That one laughed at me.

That one has different looking eyes.

That one is short.

That one is too tall.

That one is fat.

That one is too skinny.

That one has big ears.

That one has big feet.

That one has a big mouth.

That one talks too loud.

That one talks too soft.

That one isn't athletic.

That one is too muscle-bound.

That one is shy.

That one has no sense of color.

That one is a slob.

That one is a neat freak.

That one is obsessive.

That one is lazy.

That one is rich.

That one is poor.

That one is classy.

That one has no class.

That one walks funny.

That one is cute.

That one is a nerd.

That one wears weird clothes.

That one - he wears a dress.

That one is a wimp.

That one likes other women.

That one is gay.

That one is a pervert.

That one thinks she's a man in a female body.

That one doesn't know what they want to do with their life.

Etc., etc., etc.

 

We applaud individuality, yet seek conformity on many things.

We applaud conformity, yet demand individuality on many things.

We talk about discrimination and how terrible it is, and then discriminate against those we were complaining about.

We applaud free choice as long as we agree with the choice.

We use violence as a means to promote peace.

We kill to show we are pro-life.

We condemn so much and praise so little.

We judge yet decry being judged.

We complain if a group doesn't try to suit everybody, yet talk about the great diversity of being human, and how no one group can serve everybody and do it well.

We label everyone and everything, yet fight being labeled.

We reinvent new labels when nobody's even sure what the old labels mean.

We read between the lines, words, thoughts and emotions that were never intended or meant to be there.

Silence can be golden, or a deafening roar.

Might is right, yet we deplore a bully.

We are a world full of dichotomies, parallaxes, oxymorons, and who knows what else.

I'm sure someone will fill in the blanks.

Getting along takes understanding, acceptance, caring, nurturing, giving, forgiving, forgetting, Compassion, empathy, and more, including a willingness to do it above all.

You don’t have to agree with me or anything I day or do.  You have that right and freedom.

Allow me that same right and freedom.

You don’t have to like me.

I don’t have to like you.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t work together for a common goal and purpose.

And it doesn't mean that we can't respect each other.

The only true rights for us all to be fighting for are human rights that apply to everybody without any other labels needed.

If we are a "community", then let's be one.

If we are not a "community", then let's accept that and move on.

Life is too short and there is work to do to make the world a better place for those who follow us.

There is an old saying that if you are not a part of the solution, then you are  a part of the problem.

Let's find solutions together.

Then maybe we all can get along.

 

          Respectfully Submitted,

          Gloria Sue Fenton

          President, Alpha Omega

 

 

 

Their Own Worst Enemies

Why do some crossdressers end up so unhappy?  While social attitudes play a part, the tragedy many crossdressers experience is to a great extent, their own fault.  In some ways, crossdressers are their own worst enemies. 

 

If you are a crossdresser, you can shoot yourself in the foot (or other places higher up) by doing the following:

 

1)       Look at your chapter as nothing more than "a place to go dressed."  It doesn't take a lot of preparation.  Just slip some lacey, flowery finery over that old macho attitude, and go!  Whatever you do, don't get involved! Just pay your dues (eventually), and wait for the publications, rights, and programs to fall into your hands.  After all, everyone knows that the main worker in Tri-Ess is "Someone Else."  She'll do it all while you sleep!

 

2)       Keep that macho attitude intact.  It's important that you win at everything you undertake.  If anyone crosses you, make them regret it! A good show of anger will keep 'em in line!

 

3)       To make sure your wife is as supportive as possible, adorn your crossdressing with sleaze.  Dress like a streetwalker; hit the dives; associate with the lowest elements of the transgender community.

 

4)       Try everything you can to suppress your masculinity.  Stop engaging in all those masculine activities you used to enjoy.  Ignore your former good buddies and the couples you used to go out with.

 

5)       Fool around with hormones.  They'll make you a real woman!  Who needs a doctor? You know what's good for you!  Besides, they're just after your money. 

 

6)       Make crossdressing absolutely the Number One Thing in your life. What do God, your family, and your occupation have to do with anything?

 

7)       Push, push, push to crossdress whenever you like.  Talk about being a "T-person,"  and "progressing along the gender continuum."  Make your wife guess what you're going to do next.  What's this stuff about respecting her comfort zone?   "I gotta be me!" 

 

8)       Get involved in every petty spat and flame war in the gender community.  Create some of your own!  Everybody likes a good rumble!

9)       If you serve, make sure it's only on your own terms.  Remember, life is an investment.  You gotta take more than you give to make a profit in this world!

 

10)     When you've accomplished all the other nine, and your life falls apart, put on the world's biggest pity party.  Cry about losing your wife and family, and moan about the prospect of being alone the rest of your life.  Complain how prejudiced the world is, and what a cross it is to have so few friends, and to be stuck in a job far below your potential.  After all, life dealt you a poor hand, and it's only right for you to be bitter about it. 

 

A disgruntled wife?  No.  I am

Jane (CD)

 

 

 

SPICE VII: A Wilderness Adventure

 

 

This year’s SPICE (July 14-18) promises to be very exciting.  The keynote speaker, Charles Prince, will be presenting the topic “Finding Your Way Out of the Wilderness”.  Other speakers will include Dr. Peggy Rudd, Onnalee Graham, Mary Frances Fairfax, Dianne Stellrecht among others.  All topics will deal with giving SO’s the skills to paddle their canoes through the rough waters of crossdressing and traversing the wilderness of life. While mainly for SO’s, there are programs for the men also.  As you can see by the list of a few of the topics following, this should be an exciting adventure for those who attend.

 

1.     Setting Your Canoe Compass

2.     Find the Portage

3.     Crossing the Portage

4.     Canoeing through rough waters or How to handle the jealousy factor

5.     Steering Your Canoe; the “J” Stroke …Sex and Sexuality

6.     Paddling Your Own Canoe

7.     Reading Lake Maps

8.     Last Paddle

 

Matt and I are really looking forward to this and hope to bring home to A-O many new ideas to share.

 

Love, Cheryl

 

ALONG THE RAINBOW TRAIL

by Cheryl

 

This month instead of the usual trivia, I’m enclosing a letter written on one of the forum’s concerning us.  The topic has been presented concerning the S.O.’s function at Chapter meetings.  The following was Jane Ellen and Mary Frances’ response.

 

Dear Friends,

 

We have been most interested in the discussion about wives being relegated to kitchen-cleanup duty.  To us, this is yet another reminder of the need for crossdressers to feminize their hearts as well as their appearance.  A wife is an equal member of Tri-Ess and of her chapter.

 

She has equal privileges.  If crossdressers want to be truly feminine, they can volunteer for kitchen cleanup duty.  Better still, let everyone have a turn!

One of the chief stumbling blocks to wives' acceptance of crossdressing is that some crossdressers want to appropriate for themselves the nicest parts of femininity while leaving the rest for their wives.  This is clearly not fair.

On the other hand, wives are not entirely blameless.  All too often, they take the attitude that crossdressing is "his thing."  Not only does this deprive wives of valuable influence in the chapter, it reinforces the idea widely held outside Tri-Ess, that wives are an impediment to "us doing our thing," and that wives should be taken merely on sufferance.  Wives have a major stake in crossdressing, because it intimately affects their lives and relationships.  If they don't put in an effort to maintain that stake, they lose it.  Withdrawing, or allowing themselves to be pushed into the background, does not help their cause, nor does it bode well for their crossdressers or the success of the chapter.

 

 "A chapter is designed to be a support group for the CD family unit."

 

Love,

Jane and Mary

 

How about giving a hand to those (especially Kathleen) who are always stuck cleaning up after a meeting?  Wouldn’t it be nice if she actually had the time to socialize with the gang after the business meeting????

 

 

 

 

Special Announcement   For this month’s meeting we must request that you do NOT show up before 6:00pm.  Yes, we realize that this will be cutting it close on the start time but the meeting place has an event prior to ours that will have others present until then.  For security reasons, not to mention some embarrassment on both sides, please do not show up before 6:00pm.   Thank you, Alpha Omega President Gloria Sue Fenton

 

 

Food for Thought:  Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Paula’s Evening Out En-Femme

 

Well, here's the story about my evening with Peggy and the Paradise Club.

 

I was apprehensive but excited about having the opportunity to go out in public for an evening en femme.  Peggy was gracious and met me in the hotel parking lot right at 6:30 like we agreed.  We joked about being "out there" with no where to hide, however, I immediately felt comfortable and relaxed as we walked into the hotel together, even with all the people around.  I wore the red dress I received so many compliments on at the AO meeting in April and tested a new dishwater blond wig and contacts for my eyes.  I really enjoyed being a blond!

 

She took me right downstairs to the lounge where she introduced me to the Paradise executive committee who were having a meeting.  Susie was among the members and was pleased to see that I was there.  We then sat down at the bar and were served by a very friendly female bartender who was happy to serve us and carried on a pleasant conversation without a care about how we were dressed.  She made me feel comfortable and welcome.

 

A few minutes later, we walked down to the private dining room where Peggy introduced me to some of the other dinner attendees. The meal was delicious, although there were only about 15 of us there. Five of which were AO members including Peggy, myself, Susie, Karen and Joan.

 

After dinner, a Mary Kay demonstration was given by Bonnie, a friendly woman who showed us some techniques for addressing the special challenges we "gals" have with our complexion and facial features.  She put a lot of effort into her presentation which was highlighted by techniques for shading and toning down some of those masculine features.

 

After the presentation, Peggy hoped I would come along to Code Blue, as a number of the gals were going.  I was excited to go even if it was late and all the way up in Cleveland.  We walked in together and went upstairs where we were greeted by Mary the bartender, who was just as nice as the bartender in the hotel.  How we were dressed had no bearing on how Mary treated us.  In fact, when it was time to ante up for my two Cokes, she would not even take my money.  I made sure she got a nice tip for the sodas.

 

The down side of the Code Blue excursion was the smoke and noise.  Joan & I were trying to talk, but I was unable to hear most of what she was saying.  I told her jokingly that my wig must have been on too tight.  Joan & I left about 12:15 just as Karen came in.  Having had enough noise for one night, it was time to go home.  Although it was a great new experience, it would have been better to have had a nice corner to sit and enjoy each other's company and conversation. Peggy said that a restaurant on the west side is gender friendly and would provide us a comfortable, peaceful place to eat.  I said it would be fun to try it sometime when we can make the arrangements.

 

Overall, I enjoyed the evening.  It was a night filled with many first time experiences.  I thought I would be more nervous and worried. Although I have been out a bit in public in the past, taking the big leap and visiting two public places in one evening en femme with Peggy by my side gave me comfort & confidence.  I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.

 

I will not be able to attend the June AO meeting due to family commitments. If possible, I would like to contact Peggy again and join her for another Paradise meeting.  If I am not able to go out en-femme for two months, I could go crazy!

 

But don't worry; AO is still my home, for it was all of you who provided me with the caring & support to allow me to feel comfortable & confident about myself. The most important aspect of all this is, that I am not alone.

Paula

NGLTF ANNOUNCES IT WILL NOT SUPPORT ENDA WITHOUT TRANSINCLUSION

 

[Washington, DC: 29 May 99] THE NATIONAL GAY & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) announced on Tuesday (25 May) in an address to attendees at National Gender Lobby Day that NGLTF would not support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) unless it includes protection for gender expression. Currently the bill, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), contains language that protects employees only for sexual orientation.

        Betsy Gressler, NGLTF's Deputy Political Director, told transactivists, "You will be lobbying a number of important issues including the Hate Crimes Prevention Act and ENDA. The hate crimes act is an important step in ending violence against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people and we support it fully.

        "NGLTF will not endorse ENDA without the inclusion of transgendered people. [ENDA] needs to be amended and that is part of the important work you have to do while you are here. We need to educate members of Congress about the importance of transinclusion AND the importance of this legislation."

        This statement marks the first time a national gay organization has publicly avowed to withhold support from ENDA over the issue of gender.

          Transactivists call attention to a survey by NGLTF, the Center for Lesbian Rights, and GenderPAC that showed 28% of GLB respondents reporting job discrimination based in part on the way they expressed gender. GenderPAC has argued that gender expression must be in ENDA, not only to protect trans-workers, but also gays, lesbians, and bisexuals who are gender-different.

        HRC, while expressing support for gender rights, remains steadfast against transinclusion. It pledges that ENDA's wording will remain unchanged.

(c) 1999 InYourFace

GenderPAC's online news-only

service for gender activism.

 

QUILL Editorial Note: 

This issue came up recently in Ohio, when language for a bill currently in preparation was originally not inclusive of transgendered people, as it offered no protections on the basis of gender presentation.  As a transgendered person myself, in the position of Chair of the Equality Begins at Home - Ohio Lobby Committee, I didn't feel at liberty to take a position as to whether we could support the bill as written.  That would have been a conflict of interest.  This conflict was resolved very quickly when the other Lobby Committee members (none of whom were transgendered) expressed that they would not support the bill without gender presentation language.  One member was quite outspoken when she told the legislator not to throw us bones with no meat!

          I was initially surprised at my committee's stance on this issue.  It was certainly based on part on the strong solidarity we have developed here in Ohio between *all* of the sexual minorities, but it was also based on commonality of interest.  Indeed, about 1/3 of all GLB people have experienced employment discrimination based on their not-so-straight manner of presentation, irrespective of their sexual orientation.  These people would remain vulnerable without the same language that is needed to protect transgendered people.

The NGLTF is to be commended for its forward thinking.  There are many ways in which GLBT people fail to fit into society's molds of "male" and "female," and sexual orientation is only one of them.  Perhaps as HRC's constituency continues to broaden to include people with less mainstream manners of presentation, they too will see the need for language that is protective of gender presentation.

Until then, I suspect HRC will continue to undermine the work we transgender activists are trying to do in our pursuit of civil rights.

Sarah Fox, Ph.D.

Chief Administrator, QUILL

 

Upcoming Events   June:  A local electrologist will demonstrate her talent during what is sure to be an enlightening presentation.   July: ?   August:  Annual Picnic at Gloria & Kathleen’s   S.P.I.C.E. Convention Minneapolis, MN July 11 – 14   Holiday En Femme Houston TX November 10 – 14   Erie Lakeside Gala Erie, PA November 18 – 21

Coming Soon to an AO meeting near you! Test drive the new Alpha Omega Logo!

Get Published FREE Write an article on something you did en femme of something funny that happened while en femme and get published for FREE. Yes that’s right, FREE.  Simply submit your article to any of the newsletter staff and get published absolutely FREE.   Always read the fine print.  See Publication Notice at front of newsletter.  Restrictions may apply

June Menu   Gloria & Kathleen:  Cold Cut Tray and Green Salad Sherry:  Pasta Salad Abby:  Snacks Whoever was planning on bringing buns, condiments, etc please contact Kathleen or the group to avoid doubling up