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Alpha Omega Minutes February 13, 1999

President Gloria Fenton called the meeting to order.

Lori introduced our guests , new people and people who have returned. Diane, Lisa, Casey Lee, and Tim (female to male). We have 29 people in attendance.

Gloria thanked everyone who brought food. She asked for volunteers to bring food for the march meeting.

Susie told us about a the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender for Equality rally in Columbus March 21st. She has bus tickets for $15 round trip. She also has raffle tickets to defray the cost of the rally. She also told us about the BE-ALL June 2nd to 6th. There will be a BE-ALL meeting Feb. 21st. at 2:00 at the Radison.

Next month is election of officers. We are accepting nominations tonight.

Diane Vernon nominated Elaine for SEC/TRES. Olena sec. the nomination.

Diane Vernon nominated Gloria for PRES. Cheryl sec.

Peggy nominated Olena for VICE PRES. Kathleen sec.

Diane Vernon nominated Peggy for VICE PRES. Lisa sec.

Olena will provide entertainment for the meeting.

May we will have another Alpha Omega Auction.

We decided to pay the church for January. We would have been there if it weren’t for the snow storm.

Gloria is putting the changes the committee made to the constitution. She will get copes to the committee.

The committee will meet again in the spring.

We received a calendar from Calendar Girl of North Hollywood.

With no further business Gloria adjoined the meeting.

Respectfully Submitted

Elaine Benton

Secretary/ Treasurer

ONLY TIME WILL TELL

By Gloria

In another couple of weeks (as of this writing), Martin will turn 48 years old. This very morning he did one of the scariest things he has ever done.He sent a letter. Now that may not seem very scary to you, but at this point Martin is shaking in his shoes because of the impact that letter could have.

A little over ten years ago, he was scared when he sent a letter out to some total strangers stating he was a crossdresser and needed help. This letter is even scarier than that. This morning he sent out a letter to try and make contact with his son that he hasn’t seen in over twenty-two years. Through Cheryl’s help on the Internet several months ago, Martin had the name and address of someone that could be his son.

The letter he sent had been written for several months also. But it had taken until now for him to overcome his fear of sending that letter. The last time Martin saw his son was September 1976.His son wasn’t quite three years old yet. Because of the breakup of the marriage to Martin’s first wife (his son’s mother) almost a year earlier and the bad feelings at the time, Martin hadn’t seen his son for some months before the final time. On that final visit, his son’s mother (Wendy) was living with another man, and Martin’s son (Steven) didn’t ever know Martin was his father.

It would be far too painful to fill in all the details. Suffice it to say that a young man made some very stupid mistakes and lost his wife, his son, and his own self-respect. That young man even tried suicide. The failed attempt at suicide did make the young man realize one thing though.No matter how much he had hurt others and himself in turn, life does go on, and he could change the future.

The last time Martin saw Steven was just before Martin’s job moved him from Albany, N.Y. to Harvard, Illinois. It was on that last visit when Martin was introduced to his son as a "Friend" of mommy’s that was visiting that Martin made a decision which has haunted him every single day since. That day, knowing he would at most only be able to see his son once or twice a year for an hour or so as mommy’s "friend", Martin gave up visitation rights. He had caused enough hurt already.

For the last twenty-two years there hasn’t been a day that Martin hasn’t remembered his son, and thought of every moment of the boy’s life and love that he has lost. Even twenty-two years ago, Martin hoped the day would come that he could make contact with his son, and that maybe Steven would give the human being that Martin had become a chance to be a part of his life. Twenty-two years have brought a lot of changes in Martin’s life, as I’m sure they have in his son’s life.

Is this person Martin’s son? Will he respond to the letter being sent? Is there a chance for two people to start to get to know each other or is there still too much hurt. Only time will tell. Now it is up to the U.S. Postal Service and the person that receives the letter as to what happens next. That is the scary part. I will let you know what happens.

Love always,Gloria

(I’m so proud that Martin finally sent the letter. It showed a lot of courage to face the unknown. Alas, the address was no longer valid and so the search goes on for the man that once was Martin’s little boy. We love you, Martin. --Asst. Ed. Elf)

THE ASHTABULA CHAINSAW MASSACRE

ByOl What's Her Name

Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the closet..... Yes, it's back, the Chainsaw of Tweezers! Of course I am speaking of that diabolical Israeli torture tool (probably designed to use on Palestinians), the Epilady hair removal device.

How many of you rushed out when the Epilady appeared on the market; spent copious amounts of money for one; took it home; tried it once and promptly threw it in the deepest, darkest recess of your femme hiding spot? Why? "Because it hurt like Hell!", you say. To which I respond, "Why did it hurt like Hell? BECAUSE YOU FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS!!"

I consider the Epilady to be one of the greatest inventions to ever come down the pike. It leaves my legs soft and smooth for extended periods of time with minimal discomfort. An added benefit for TV's is that there are never the wiry "nubs" on your legs like you get from shaving. Nubs are obvious telltale giveaways that you shave and can (literally) cause friction with ones Significant Other. (Not that they don't deserve some retaliation occasionally for THEIR nubs!)

The big problem with the method the Epilady instructions describes is they want you to wait till all your leg hair is 1/8 to 1/4 inch long then expect you to grit your teeth while the device pulls them all at once. No wonder so many Epiladys ended up in the trash!!

Yes, the device can be used without requiring morphine. I won't lie to you, however. The first few times you use it will be more uncomfortable than later uses. But if you follow my advice, the discomfort will be minimal and, with regular use, will taper off to none at all. Nothing like the torture you remember from your first try.

#1. Take the instructions that came with the Epilady and use them to start the fireplace. (Do, however, remember the suggestion that you use a "loofah" sponge to wash with in the shower. It helps keep the ends of the regrowing hairs from becoming ingrown.) When you buy the loofah, also pick up a "Buff Puff" facial scrubber at the drugstore. More on this later.

#2. Shave your legs. If all goes well, this will be the last time you'll be doing so.

#3. Enjoy your shaved legs for the next two days. On the third day, get out the Epilady, take your Demerol (Just Kidding!) and prepare for a new era in your femme life. Begin running the device over your legs. What you will notice right off the bat is it hardly grabs hold of any hairs at all...an occasional one here and there. This is exactly what you want it to do. Only pluck the occasional hair. Pain? Barely noticeable, if at all. Continue until you have gone over both legs completely. Should take about five to ten minutes. When you are done, apply a coat of skin lotion.

Now that wasn't bad, was it? "But," you say, "there is still tons of hair starting to grow out and I only plucked a small portion of it." EXACTLY! Tomorrow you will do the same thing to the small percentage of hairs which reach the length that the device can grip them. And the next day, and the next day, and the next until after about a week or two of similar sessions your legs are completely plucked. And what has happened? You have smooth, soft legs with no nubs and with minimum discomfort. Now as hairs grow out (which they do much more slowly than when shaved), they won't feel like wire bristles. If you give your legs the once-over every few days you will find what little discomfort you felt at first becomes nothing more than a tingle. And you will find a session every week to ten days is plenty.

Remember the Buff Puff I mentioned earlier. Just before you go over a section of skin with the Epilady, rub the Buff Puff against the hair growth. This helps cause the hairs to stand on end so the device can grip them easier.

OK ladies. Go pull your Epilady from the spot you threw it in your pain and rage those years ago. Clean it off and, for safety's sake, wipe the coil with alcohol. Shave your legs and give the Epilady a try. If you really want to be sure that first session goes smoothly, don't wait two days after shaving. Start with the Epilady the next day.

I guarantee that, using my method, you won't suffer like you did that first time you tried the Epilady. Give it a try. I suspect many will be glad they did.

Love,

Tanya

ALONG THE RAINBOW TRAIL

By Cheryl

This has been a busy month on the CDSO list and a very emotional one. We’ve had lots of ladies join, several leave and at last count two separate from their crossdresser. A lot of anger has been expressed along with a lot of bewilderment. With postings averaging 20 or more a day, it is very difficult not to get dragged into the "boiling pot". In fact, that was happening. We had one lady who really couldn’t deal with crossdressing. Her mind was so closed that no matter what anyone said we weren’t going to open it. But of course, we all tried. In the meantime her postings were dragging the rest of us down-..for me, it was a trip down a painful memory lane-.a place I didn’t want to go.

Upon reflection, I remember when I too had a closed mind. Yes gang, ME!!!!!!!Crossdressers were fine as long as they weren’t in my home, sleeping in my bed, sharing my personal life.There was a place for them and it wasn’t 211 N. Mantua St. (fake address, so don’t look for it). My husband had to be "normal" (Whatever that is). I expected him to go to work everyday, come home, watch TV and go to bed, all in appropriate male attire. The thought of him touching me while wearing female clothing made my skin crawl. Hairless arms and legs, polished nails, longer hair all infuriated me. "He had no right to do these things without my permission!" (I can imagine the hackles rising-.LOL)

Control all of us like to have some modicum of control over our lives. We have certain expectations and ideals. When that pattern is broken, there has to be time for adjustment. All to frequently this isn’t allowed. The crossdresser, having just told his SO the secret he has been hiding for 20, 30, 40+ years, experiences a sense of freedom. A set of his manacles has been broken.The Candy Store Syndrome hits.Suddenly everything is shaved.Hair is longer and styled.Nails are manicured. The feminine clothing appears in the family wash. And (WHOA!!) he talks about going en femme to the mall. His life has become less complicated or so it seems. Has he looked at his poor stunned wife? This situation that he has been trying to deal with for years, she is expected to accept within minutes, hours, days of being informed? Give me a break!Wake up, guys! It won’t happen!!!!! You’ve just taken her life and put it into a tailspin-out of control. Remember that word?C-O-N-T-R-O-L Her tidy little home world has been changed without her being able to say a word. That which she thought she had control over is suddenly among the unknown. No longer is life a matter of washing dishes, doing laundry, going to work. Now it includes who to tell, who not to tell-.and most of all, "WHO CAN I TALK TO?" It includes an en femme wardrobe including fake boobs, wigs, nails and padding. It includes a family budget being stretched even further. Nowadays it includes hours on the computer searching for crossdressing websites, Tri-Ess meetings, hours primping. No wonder she is overwhelmed! It’s enough to try the patience of a saint and very few of us qualify for sainthood (Hmmmm-.I wonder why the Pope hasn’t canonized me yet-.I’ll have to talk to him about that)

I guess that what I’m trying to say in this rambling mess is that we all need to be aware of what is going on around us.We need to think about the effects of our actions on those we love. We need to talk to each other but most of all we need to listen to what the other is saying. Maybe then some of the pain will go away. Maybe then the special relationship that can exist between a CD and his SO can be formed. (Smile-.and it can be very special. Different-LOL. But definitely special)

On to something different: There’s a new online forum just for accepting wives. Anyone interested can let me know. Just be aware it is for accepting only. I’m not sure just why I’m on the list, Bev must need subscribers desperately. But it is interesting and fun. Time-consuming too. I think Lisa is about ready to take my computer away from me. Between the three lists I average about 30 emails a day. Crazy I am..

Btw-.some computereze for those who don’t know--

BTW = by the way

LOL = lots of laughter, loads of laughter, lots of luck-.(depending on what you want it to mean)

Last of all-I wouldn’t want anyone to think I forgot. HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY TO ALL. May the green that you wear the 17th match the green in your pocket (hopefully it’s not lettuce-..LOL)

Love,

Cheryl

Continued Page 4

"BE ALL" PREPARATIONS

by Gloria

For the last few days I have been working on a list of groups and organizations within about 400 miles, or so, of Cleveland, Ohio that have some connection to the Transgendered community.Surprisingly, there are more than you might think. So far I have come up with over fifty names that fit that category.

The list I am working on is for Paradise Club to use as a mailing list for the "Be All" brochures. As a way of being of help to Paradise Club, Cheryl, Lisa, Kathy, and I will be mailing out "Be All" brochures to transgendered groups and organizations.

It has been a while since there has been a "Be All" in Cleveland, so this is quite an opportunity for some of us to attend a convention close to home and be able to help make it happen.

If anyone would like to volunteer some assistance prior to the "Be All", please let me know. Also, if you might like to help with some duties during the "Be All", also, please let me know.

This is a good opportunity to help Paradise Club with a gesture of support for this endeavor.

Become a part of the experience.

Respectfully submitted,

Gloria Sue Fenton

President, Alpha Omega