LA FEMME SILHOUETTE - OCTOBER 1998
Alpha Omega Minutes - September 12, 1998
Vice President Marla called the meeting to order. Lori introduced the new people at our meeting. Marla thanked Peggy for the dinner. We conveyed our condolences to Cheryl for the death of her father.
TREASURERS REPORT: Balance in the Checking is $2653.82. Of that balance is $188.00 of the Charity Fund. there is $50 in Petty cash.
Marla thanked Lisa for helping with the news letter.
Marla will look into getting a notice in various publications directing people to our web site.
Next meeting is our National Speaker night. Naomi Owens will be our speaker.
There is a conference in Milwaukee Nov. 14 through Nov. 16th.
The Gay/Lesbian service Center is conducting seminars at the Archwood Church on Archwood Ave. They will be held on Tues. Sept. 22nd., Tues. Oct. 6th. and Tues. Oct. 20th.
The Cedar Lee Theater is showing the movie Beverly Hills Slums.
There was an Alpha Omega Pledge included with the news letter . We would like to here your comments.
With no further business Tanya made the motion we adjourn the meeting, Kathleen sec. the meeting was adjourned.
Our speaker for the evening is Dr. Anton Feo.
Respectfully Submitted
Elaine Benton
Secretary/Treasurer
TRI-ESS TODAY!
The Society for the Second Self, Inc., ("Tri-Ess" or "The Society") is the international, nonprofit, volunteer organization that provides accurate informational and educational resources about Crossdressing and Crossdressers for the purpose of promoting understanding, acceptance, tolerance and a constructive public and self- image. The Society seeks to identify and meet the needs of both the Crossdresser, most often a heterosexual male, and 'her' wife or other female partner in a committed relationship with the Crossdresser. Our informational and support activities often also extend to the parents, children, other family members and friends of the Crossdresser.
As an all volunteer organization, our products, programs, activities, services and assistance are provided with understanding in a knowledgeable manner that demonstrates a personal interest and a caring concern. The Tri- Ess educational and informational resources are also made available to educators, researchers, mental and physical health care professionals, employers, clergy, law enforcement and public officials, vendors, and the general public. The Society supports, participates in, and sponsors academic research on the subject of crossdressing.
Crossdressers are blessed with an additional facet to our personalities. As we accept our dual, masculine-and-feminine, "bi-gendered" gift, and seek to understand and explore it, the result is a very fulfilling broadening of our entire personality. The act of crossdressing is associated with several behaviors, each with different motivations. For the "Crossdresser," our occasional adoption of a complete feminine persona and total gender role presentation is an outward personal expression o our inner feminine feelings. We dress appropriately in emulation, rather than in mockery, of femininity. This is about gender expression, not sexual preferences and orientations. We cultivate our complete feminine image, with lingerie, makeup, wig, padding for breasts and hips, as well as the feminine clothing, shoes and accessories and even a femme name. Crossdressers are found in every society. It is unfortunate that men dressing and behaving as ladies, for personal expression, remains a misunderstood phenomenon in many modern cultures.
The Tri-Ess philosophy, as articulated by Jane Ellen Fairfax, the current Chair of the Society's Board of Directors, can be expressed in the acronym FIBER, F- I- B- E- R:
F Full personality expression, in a blending of both our masculine and feminine characteristics. We do not wish to destroy our masculinity, but to soften its harsher aspects, and be all we can be.
I Integration of our masculinity and femininity to create a happier, more complete, person as we use our enhanced understanding of ourselves in our daily lives.
B Balance between masculinity and femininity in our total personalities.
E Education of Crossdressers toward self-acceptance, education of our families toward understanding, education of society toward the acceptance of Crossdressers as ordinary people with a special gender gift.
R Relationship- building in the context of crossdressing.
Based upon these FIBER concepts, the Society uses all available resources to achieve its purpose. Tri-Ess' charitable, educational and literary activities include, but are not limited to, the following:
If you would like more information about Tri-Ess, crossdressers and crossdressing, or if you would like to join in supporting our work, please write to us:
THE SOCIETY FOR THE SECOND SELF, INC.
8880 Bellaire Blvd., B2, Suite 104
Houston, Texas 77036-4621
Telephone: 713-349-8969
E-mail: TRIESSINFO@aol.com
Marla's Manhattan Mardi Gras Experience
by Marla
Mardi Gras?? In Manhattan?? In mid-summer?? Why not?? Any day can be a festive occasion when you visit Lee's Mardi Gras Boutique. I had just such an occasion on a recent business trip to New York City.
Located on Manhattan's lower west side in the Chelsea District (just north of the West Village), Lee's is one of, if not the oldest and largest shops of its kind, catering to the CD/TV community...and shopping there is a truly unique experience.
Upon arriving, don't let the meat terminal and the dank warehouses turn you away (as they almost did me..I thought for sure I had the wrong address!). When you find the discreet entrance on W. 14th Street, you merely buzz the intercom and a friendly clerk will escort you in an ancient elevator to Lee's lofty and spacious third floor shop.
Even for this "worldly" girl, I'll admit to some level of discomfort as I made my way past the patent leatherclad mannequin, the feather boas and the reading material, some of which bordered on "X." But after a few minutes of being overwhelmed, I began to settle in for some serious browsing among the racks upon racks of gowns, shoes, lingerie and accessories. This place is loaded, folks!
The staff at Lee's was most helpful and accommodating, willing to help this dazed shopper find just about anything she'd need, making helpful recommendations and doing everything to make shopping there a pleasant experience.
Dresses range in a wide variety of sizes and styles...from slightly naughty..to career-girl..to ballroom elegant. I fell in love with a particularly striking black floor-length sequined gown.. but with a price tag approaching 500 clams, I gladly put it back on the rack from whence it came. Some of the items did look as though they'd been on the rack for a while, but persistent hunting turned up a smart blue crepe sequined top that this gal just had to have... and at a price that didn't break the budget.
The lingerie and foundation selection is nothing short of outstanding!!! Every possible size, style and color abounded from Lee's ample racks and shelf cases. The shoe selection varies from practical to sexy to slightly outrageous...many in sizes 12 and up...in stock and ready for dancing the night away.
Lee's also features a hefty selection of make-up and accessories (I couldn't resist a darling pair of faux diamond clip-on earrings!). You'll find wigs and breastforms too.
A gal could do some serious damage here...so come prepared. "Matt" who waited on me recommends at last three hours on a first visit. It really does take that long to browse the place and view the vast offerings. The staff is courteous, assuring a ladylike shopping experience in a bright, clean and secure environment.
Next time you're in "that city that never sleeps" you owe it to yourself to give Lee's Mardi Gras Boutique a try. The address...400 West 14th St. at 9th Avenue, 3rd floor, New York, New York. Hours are 11:30 AM-6:30 PM, Monday thru Saturday. Can't make it to the "Big Apple??" Visit Lee's on the web at http://www.Lmgnyc.com. E mail LBrews7408@AOL.com....or simply call (212)645-9811 and make any day a Mardi Gras.
Here's to happy shopping......
DETERMINING YOUR BRA SIZE
Tanya
Prior to placing an order for what may be the most expensive investment you ever make in your quest for femininity, it is vital that you determine what size brassiere is right for you. It's actually rather easy, though you'd never know it by most of the information you've read' The many catalogs that sell bras use, for the most part, two different methods of determining your proper bra band size. The first method asks that you measure your chest under your breasts then add five inches to obtain your bra size, ie., a 29" chest plus 5' equals a size 34 bra. The second method asks you to measure your chest above your breasts and under your arms. This measurement is then your bra size.
If you have tried either of these methods you may well have found that they don't work. A 38B bra fits me perfectly, giving me a 41 1/2' bustline. By the first method, however, I should wear a 44AAA bra and, by the second, a 40A bra!
A lingerie dealer who specializes in custom-fitted brassieres told me that many Genuine Girls have complained to her that those methods don't work for them either' She has no idea where the catalogs came up with such screwy measuring systems. She advised that professional bra-fitters use the following method to determine band size:
Now that was simple, wasn't it? Well, almost. Now we must determine what cup size is right for you. The catalogs, in conjunction with the bogus information they provide an determining your band size ', provide charts to compare the band size with your actual bustline, thereby determining your cup size. Great, but we don't have bustlines to compare that's what we are trying to create!
At this point, my personal experience must take over. Even the professional fitter couldn't help me that much as she was not experienced with TV's. You can determine a close approximation of your proper cup size using the method shown below. You may find that, after trying a bra ', you would like your breasts and your bustline to be slightly larger or smaller. If the bra fits well otherwise, stay with the same band size and go up or down in cup size.
Please note that, when I speak of 'build', I am speaking in terms of your male build. Personal preference will, of course, also play a part.
Remember, when trying a new size bra, pad the cups with tissue paper until they are 1/8 to 1/4 inch off the chest. I cannot emphasize this enough! (NOTE: This method of testing a bra will work with BACK-HOOK UNDERWIRE BRAS ONLY' Soft-cup bras vary too much in shape to obtain an accurate measurement. Also, underwire bras are FAR superior to wear with any breast prosthesis.)
There is one item of interesting information I would like to pass on to you that you will never find in any bra-sizing information published for GG's. Why? Because, barring augmentation /reduction surgery, GG's live their lives with the breasts Nature gave them. We, on the other hand, can pick our own breasts and change them any time we want.
My best customer, Laurie, owns all four sizes of Simone forms and one pair of SUPER V's. She is presently considering the purchase of her second pair of SUPER V's in another size. She is also a 'bra-aholic' and owns an unbelievable selection in many different sizes.
Laurie tried an experiment one day and wrote to me with the results. She put on each pair of Simone forms and measured her bustline. She then put an her SUPER V's and did the same. What she discovered was that, whether she wore the tiny Simone '1's' or the quite large Simone '4's', her bustline only varied 1 1/2 inches! The '1's' gave her a 46 inch bustline, the '4's' a 47 1/2 inch bustline and her 38D SUPER V's a 46 1/2 inch bustline. When I duplicated the experiment using identical Simone forms and my 36B SUPER V's, my bustline also varied only 1 1/2 inches: 41 to 42 1/2.
These experiments tell us two things: #I. The primary factor in how big a girl's bustline measurement will be is not dependent on the size of her breasts but, rather, on the diameter of the chest underneath the breasts. #2. While different size breasts vary greatly in area and overall mass, they vary FAR less in projection from the chest wall.
The message I am trying to get across with the above is that 'Sue's' dress/blouse size is determined by 'Sam's' body, not 'Sue's' breasts! 'Sue' can be flat-chested or a real 'Dolly Parton' and her clothing will probably only vary by, at most, one size:
Do you know the "Rising Star" of 1998? or the ";Kindred Spirit"? How about the "Lady of the Year"? Christmas festivities are fast approaching and we are looking for those special people who have made a difference in the life of A-O. Fill out that ballot and turn it in so that we can recognize the talents they have shared with us.
SO Web Site Created
Cheryl has taken on the responsibility of designing and maintaining a
section of the web page dedicated to SOs. It is linked to the AO web site at
http://www.triess-alphaomega.org OK, Girls, these pages are for you. If you want a great
site, chock full of information that can help others, we are going to need a little input.
Send any comments or suggestions to Cheryl at:
nimue_enchantress@yahoo.com
ISN'T IT ROMANTIC
By Gloria Sue Fenton
Fall is my all time favorite season of the year. By the time fall comes around Martin has, hopefully, finished all the big and little "projects" around the house, and there is time to kick back and relax and enjoy the fruits of the labor for him and me. The cooler temperatures feel good to me, and I can be dressed and not have to worry about my makeup melting down my face.
Of course, Kathy will get chilled easily now - but that is a rather nice side benefit for Martin as it makes a rather wonderful excuse to cuddle up. Martin enjoys romantic things like that. So does Kathy!
Romance is very important in a relationship. It is the glue that helps to hold love together. A relationship also takes communication, understanding, and friendship. Toss in a little compromise, some empathy, and some trust and wonderful things can happen between two people, if they both work every day to make it happen.
And that is something that Kathy and Martin do. As he says - after almost nine years of marriage - she still likes me. He does his best to keep it that way because in the past both of them have known the pain of relationships that fell apart; and they both had to learn how to trust another all over again. That is not easy.
And Kathy not only opened her heart to him, but gave me the chance to be a part of her life, too; and that is something she did not have to do. As much as Martin's and my life changed when we joined Alpha Omega, I know how much he and I have grown for who we are because Kathy gave us love and caring.
If you love someone, do your best so that they always know that. Keep the "romance" alive. So I'm always glad to feel the cooler temperatures of fall, because I know that two people very dear to me will find a time to cuddle and keep their relationship as fresh and beautiful as when they first fell in love.
Now that is very romantic, or at least I think so. What do you think?
RECENT EVENTS
Lori and Gloria have been asked to be part of a panel discussing Transgendered issues and concerns sponsored by the Lesbian/Gay Community Service Center. The session will be at the Archwood Church October 6, 1998 at 7:00 p.m. The address is 2800 Archwood Avenue, Cleveland. A final session will be held on October 20, 1998 at the Archwood Church.
The first session was held on September 22, 1998 and was attended by about fifty people from several aspects of the transgendered spectrum as well as other interested individuals. The seminars were developed to start dialog and promote understanding of the different facets of transgender behavior within our own community. This is an important aspect of outreach, and I hope it will lead to other venues for outreach for Alpha Omega. Please feel free to attend these seminars if you can. **
OTHER EVENTS
A FEW WORDS FROM A WIFE
By Kathleen
First and foremost, God Bless Lisa for agreeing to take over the newsletter. I was definitely on the road to burnout! Although she managed to omit her name from last month's masthead, she was primarily responsible for it. As you can see, she has the talents needed to spiff up one of our most important outreach tools. Articles can be emailed to her. I will pass on anything sent here.
With all the campaign propaganda beginning to fill the airwaves, the newspapers, and the billboards my thoughts turned to one of the most important rights we have as American citizens - the right to vote. Every adult in this country can have a say in what is going on by casting a ballot on election day. Of course, you don't just go to the polls on the designated day and fill out a ballot. The law requires that you first complete a form and provide the necessary information to become a registered voter. You are then notified where to vote. You show up, take a ballot, and exercise a right too many of us choose to ignore. Sad to say, less than one-third of eligible citizens exercise their right to have a say in how this country is run.
What does this have to do with Alpha Omega you might ask; and so I will tell you. Alpha Omega is a democratic group which holds elections each year for the officers who will lead the way for the following year. During the year, there may be issues which need to be voted on. Major issues such as constitutional changes, important items such as recipients of Service Awards, "business as usual" items such as certain financial expenditures, etc. are all areas which require a vote. The process of voting on group business is somewhat like voting in your hometown. The requirements for voting, in this case, is the be a member of Tri-Ess on a national level and a member of Alpha Omega on a local level.
I am, in particular, saying this to the wives or partners. Alpha Omega is for all of us, cross dressers and partners. We are fortunate that a number of wives/partners choose to attend meetings with their partners. It is good to know that ours is a group that wives/partners feel comfortable with. We are able to voice our thoughts on matters that concern us and to participate in many ways. However, to deepen our own commitment to Alpha Omega and to have an "official" voice in group concerns requires becoming a member of Tri-Ess and Alpha Omega. The additional cost is minimal. If the cost is what's holding you back, please discuss it with an officer. If you aren't already a member, please make a promise to yourself to become one soon.
As a famous (or is that infamous) commercial says "Be all you can be -- join Alpha Omega!"
Remember, your only hope is a deep sense of humor
A TIME TO LIVE, A TIME TO DIE
After a lengthy illness, on September 11, 1998 one of the most important men in my life (my dad) passed away. A gentle, kind man - his loss is deeply felt by our family. During the short time he lived with us, we had many experiences together involving members of Alpha Omega. To these members I offer my thanks. To those he met at the annual picnic at Marty and Kathleen's, thank you. Dad enjoyed meeting each and every one of you as your male selves. He had hoped to meet your femme sides. I'm sorry he never got the chance. To Kathleen for the liver dinner that was to be, thank you. The thought was so sweet. We'll have to have one in his memory. To Gloria, for always being there when I needed her. I really wish Dad could have experienced the blonde. I know he would have loved her as we all do. To Matt (Lisa) who spent many hours watching old movies with us, I cannot express adequately my feelings. The concern and caring you showed for dad will always be a part of my fondest memories. He really enjoyed your company whether as Matt or as Lisa. It made no difference to him. He liked and respected you both. And as we continue to enjoy Harvey or James Bond I'll imagine dad watching over our shoulders, a smile on his face as we laugh at the antics of an invisible white rabbit. Thanks to all for the expressions of love, comfort and sympathy that were relayed to both Ari and myself at the meeting. I knew when I came to A-O the night following his death, that I would be among friends who would help me deal with the pain. And so it was. God bless you all.
Love,
Cheryl
FUTURE MEETINGS
NOVEMBER: Bonnie has been rescheduled. She will be dealing with the spiritual side of expressing our feminine side.
DECEMBER: Our annual Christmas Party and Awards Ceremony. REMEMBER, the December meeting is the first Saturday in December.
JANUARY: Open.
FEBRUARY: Open. Nominations for officers for the coming year.
MARCH: Open. Final nominations and election of officers.
ELSEWHERE
Brochures on these events are available at our meetings.