LA FEMME SILHOUETTE - FEBRUARY 1998

Alpha Omega Minutes - January 10, 1998

President Diane Vernon called the meeting to order. Next month's meeting will be on Valentines Day. There will be a surprise at the meeting. We will ask for nominations for officers next year at the next meeting. March will be election of officers. Diane asked for a volunteer to bring the dinner for the next meeting. Gloria and Kathleen will bring spaghetti. Peggy will bring a salad, sausage and garlic bread.

Dues are due at the end of March. Dues are: Full members $25.00. Couples membership $35.00. Associate member $20.00.

COMPUTER COMMITTEE: Diane Brennen announced that we have an e-mail address. Lisa made a home page for us. Our provider is Rural America.

We received a letter from Virginia Prince thanking us for the card and donation for her party. Gloria thanked Melody for playing the piano for our carol singing at the Christmas party.

Our condolences to Gemini club and the family of Ann Hill, President of Gemini, who died last week.

Fran and Gail are getting married next month. Congratulations to them both.

Lori introduced our speaker, Lisa Johnson, from Melage.

With no further business Marla made the motion we adjourn the meeting. Kathleen seconded. The meeting was adjourned.

Respectfully Submitted,
Elaine Benton
Secretary/Treasurer

EDITORIAL

Return with me now to those days of yester-year -- you know, those days when we were young and thin, and didn't have a beard or body hair yet. It's almost scary to think that it was 34 years ago, when I was 12 years old that I wore the very first bra that ever fit me. Gosh it felt great!

But unlike the young women my age who were, for the most part, also starting to wear their first bras, my elation of this humble moment had to be kept a secret. When a young girl began wearing a bra, she became a young woman. When I had to hide in order to wear my bra, because of some need I couldn’t explain, I began to wonder what kind of freak I was.

In ways, I was envious of many of the girls and women I knew in school and church, etc., because they could wear their bras and their stockings. They could wear the pretty dresses and pretty shoes, and even make up and jewelry, and have their hair all long and pretty. It was normal for them. It was what was expected of them.

I had to sneak around and grab moments when I could dress like I, at times, wanted to, and then usually end up feeling guilty about what I had done. The worst part was not being able to understand why, as a boy, I had these times of wanting to dress, look, act, and, as much as possible, feel that I was a young woman.

Ironically, as a boy, I couldn’t really know the physical and mental feelings of actually being a young woman or female. But somehow I did have a sense in my own mind of what I thought it was to feel feminine, and to feel like a young woman, even though I wasn’t female.

Because of some of the tabloids that were, even then, in the supermarkets and newsstands, I did know that there were men in the world who liked to dress like women, who were called "transvestites". I also knew there were men who performed as women and were called "female impersonators". And I even knew there were men who felt they were trapped in a man’s body who were called "transsexuals" and who wanted surgery to become females.

But even knowing those things, I still felt there was nobody like me. Even at 12 years old I had been trying on girls’ and women’s’ things for seven or eight years. I didn’t do it because it was a sexual turn on, although that did become an aspect later on. I didn’t want to perform on a stage or think of myself as an impersonator because I wasn’t, in my own mind, trying to pretend. What I felt was very real to me.

And I didn’t want any surgery to become" female". I didn’t hate or dislike being "male". Being male wasn’t my problem.

I wasn’t too sure just what I was or what I really wanted, but I knew that at least at that time, I was all alone. (NOTE: Fifteen years later my second wife called me a "Male Woman", and for awhile I thought maybe that’s what I was.)

Even though I did feel alone, and even scared, the worst part was feeling so confused. One moment I would be a seemingly normal twelve-year-old boy, and then there would be those times when it just felt so right and natural to be dressed like and feel like a young woman.

But no matter how right or know normal it felt for those brief moments, I could experience, there was even more time despising myself for being different, or trying to hide and bury this part of me that could, at times, feel so right and yet bring such mental anguish. I was sure nobody could understand or accept this part of my being that I couldn’t allow myself to do it either. But I also couldn’t purge this part of me, for long any ways.

It took another twenty-five years before I realized that for thirty-seven years I had been trying to deny, and even destroy, a vital part of who I was as a human being. After so many years of multitudes of mixed emotions, I finally saw beyond the stereotypes of male-female, man-woman, masculine-feminine, that I had conjured up and allowed myself to see the human being I was and wanted to be.

Martin finally found peace in his life, and the "young woman" who was not so young any more became Gloria Sue Fenton and found peace also. On December 3^rd, 1988, at my first Alpha Omega meeting I reached out my hand; and for the first time said, "Hello, I’m Gloria Sue Fenton". It is a name that fits me. Gosh, it felt great then, and still does.

But it did take me a long time to get to that point, and it wasn’t easy. I’ve wished at times I could have realized a lot of things before I did, or even have known about someone or some group a lot sooner than I did. Those things didn’t happen for me though. But they can happen for others if you and I care enough to share what we have learned, and find ways to reach out to others.

Sometimes all that requires is being a caring, giving, human being in our every day lives. That’s something we can do all the time. Somewhere, right now, there just might be a twelve year old boy trying on the very first bra that will fit him, and wondering "who and what am I?".

I hope that you and I, as individuals, as members of Tri-Ess and Alpha Omega, and as a part of "Society" can help to make it so it doesn’t take twenty-five years for him to find an answer.

At least that's what I think - - -How about you?

By Marla

Last go-round, I discussed catalog shopping, along with its pros and cons. Now, I’ll offer some views and reviews of some of my favorite catalogs. Where better to start than with the grand-daddy of all catalogs. . .the J. C. Penney catalog.

Now you might be thinking, "C’mon girl. . .NOT Penney’s". Well, this gal-on-the-go treats her good ol’ JCP like an old friend. The Penney catalog is just that. . .an old, reliable friend. . .like a reference book. . .or a dictionary. . .a publication you can count on for a great overall presentation, a huge variety of styles and tons of selections. Granted, the styles run to the traditional and conservative. . .but these tend to be the classic, staple items every girl needs. . .value wardrobe items we can wear, accessorize and mix/match for years.

The Penney catalog offers literally hundreds of pages of EVERYTHING a girl needs. . .from head to toe (and then some). JCP is a MUST for FOUNDATIONS and undergarments. . .offering one of the most complete and varied selections for everything to help us girls make the most (or least) out of what we’ve been given shape-wise. I’m talking dozens of pages. . .a great variety of under-items. . .and in sizes to help our challenges.

The fashions range from classic to casual to career-girl. . .again in a great variety. . .not too trendy. . .with a good fashion shelf life. Penney’s usually offers sizes well into the 14-20 range! Many women’s fashions simply are not cut for our types of bodies. . .especially in the areas of shoulder room and arm length. A really neat feature of the Penney’s catalog is the fact that many of their fashion offerings also come in "TALLS" for those of us slightly more physically challenged. In fact, Penney’s offers an "Especially For Talls" catalog edition two or three times a year. . .and I heartily recommend giving it a glance.

As for price. . .Penney’s seems to offer fairly good value. Their items are usually well made and well proportioned. . .true to size. Again, we’re talking lasting value here. . .not flashing trends. AS for service. . .J. C. Penney catalog cannot be beat. Most items are in stock (they have a huge regional warehousing network across the USA). . .and the telemarketers taking the order will tell you if the item(s) you order are indeed in stock. Delivery is usually very quick. . .and for a few bucks extra, express delivery is available. . .although I’ve never needed it due to their usual efficiency. In fact, during last year’s U.P.S. strike, they still managed to get my item shipped to my local Penney’s for personal pick-up within two days!! Their return policy is very fair. . .no questions asked. . .and no grief. With this kind of service, is it any wonder that J. C. Penney has the NUMBER ONE catalog business in the world?

Another nice extra. . .when you pay for your catalog at your local Penney'’s. . .they’ll refund the cost against your purchase of any item. Periodically, certificates for 10% up to 20% off of your next catalog order arrive in the mail. . .a nice way of saying "thank you" for your business.

If you haven’t already figured it out. . .this gal is a huge fan of Penney’s. They’ve really upgraded their fashion image from fifteen years ago when they were just a cut above K-Mart. . .and again, for service and value. . .their catalog just can’t be beat. Even if you don’t buy a thing. . .the catalog makes for a great browse. . .full of fashion ideas, etc.

Happy shopping from your catalog capitalist. . .

Marla

By Gloria Sue Fenton

Since our February meeting is on Valentine’s Day, it would only be appropriate to have a Valentine’s Day theme for the meeting. But lest we forget, February is also the month of Lincoln’s birthday, Washington’s birthday, and also Mardi Gras.

Silly me, I almost forgot about Groundhog’s Day, when that furry little rascal (and no I’m not talking about Martin) supposedly tells us if we will have an early spring.

Red would seem to be an appropriate color choice for our Valentine’s theme, so perhaps a red outfit or accessories would be a delightful idea. A red outfit or accessories might also help to hide it if you happen to get a drop of spaghetti sauce on your clothes.

Yet also keeping with the Mardi Gras spirit, if you should happen to have an absolutely fabulous costume that you would like to wear, well that would just be totally terrific also. Perhaps you might choose to don apparel similar to George Washington. After all, it seems wigs, perhaps a touch of rouge, lace silk britches and silk stockings, and 1 ½" heels on his shoes were in keeping with the fashion of the time.

If you should happen to have an exquisite Valentine’s Day decoration, please bring it to help create the festive, yet romantic mood befitting the holiday.

Imagine, if you will, that you are wearing a magnificently gorgeous outfit, and you walk into the meeting room to the sound of soft, romantic music, and lighting from softly flickering candles on the tables, and perhaps the subtle scent of perfume in the air. Sounds intriguing, doesn’t it!

If there should be those who would choose to exchange Valentine’s cards, please feel free to do so.

Dinner will include spaghetti, salad, rolls and dessert. There will have to be a very brief business meeting to handle nominations for this next year’s officers. As a program, we will do a salute to the women who we admire and that have been role models for us. Each of us will have five minutes to tell about a particular woman or several women who have been an influence in our lives. Judging by the outfit she wore in January, I would say Marla was influenced by Betty Boop at one time or another! (Just kidding, Marla. . .you were a vision, as always!)

Also, as a special tribute to the women of Alpha Omega, our wives, and partners, and friends, there will be an added surprise. All set up for the meeting, the meal, the program, and the clean up will be conducted WITHOUT their assistance! Alpha Omega is blessed to have so many women who come to our meetings, and give us respect and friendship for who we are. They also help so much to set up for the meetings and with the clean up. For this meeting, allow us to say "thank you" for all your help, by doing all these chores ourselves.

Come to the Alpha Omega February meeting and have a great time. See you there!!

For March not only will we have our election of officers for this next year, but we are planning for Cathy Anderson to bring in a tape to help us with voice techniques to sound more feminine. Thank you, Cathy, for volunteering to do this meeting. I’m sure it will be very interesting and a lot of fun.

There will also be a St. Patrick’s Day theme for the March meeting, so dig out that green outfit and have a good time.

If you have any ideas to help create a St. Patrick’s Day atmosphere for the March meeting, let me know.

Easter theme – There has been a wild rumor circulating that the Easter Bunny may make a special visit to our meeting. I would like to confirm that, yes, the Easter Bunny will make a special appearance for the April Alpha Omega Meeting. Let me know if you have any ideas for meeting themes.

THE REST OF THE YEAR - - -

For other meetings during the year, keep reading your newsletters for details of programs and meeting themes.

At this point Kathleen and Martin are planning their annual cook out at their home as the August meeting. Martin has told me he will do the best he can to not sprain his ankle playing Volleyball this year, or find any other way to injure himself.

I certainly hope so!! When Martin sprained his ankle last year, I ended up having to suffer right along with him.

It is going to be a great year for Alpha Omega – and a lot of fun. So join in, enjoy, smile, and laugh.

Gloria Sue Fenton,

Co-Editor

At our wonderful Christmas Party we were very fortunate to have Melody play the piano so that a few of us could vocalize to some Christmas carols. It was a wonderful time, and thank you, Dear Lady, for your skills on the piano.

Perhaps, if someone came up with the music we could have some other sing along times before next Christmas. By the way, that reminds me.

Melody, I need to speak with you about playing the piano for next year’s Christmas Party if at all possible. I have just received word that at the 1998 Christmas Party, we will be honored to host the "Alpha Omega Tabernacle Choir" with special guest conductor and singers.

So, Melody, please let me know if you would like to play piano for the Choir. This is a terribly great honor, so please let me know so we can make plans for the music. I hope you will say, yes.

By Marla

Are we getting mainstream exposure. . .or what??? A crossdresser as the lead character of a prime time television show??? A CD implication in a truck commercial?? A transgendered boy comes to an early realization that he’d be more comfortable being a she. . .on the silver screen?? I kid you not, gals. . .and it’s all happening in today’s mass media.

Ask Harriet, Thursday nights at 8:30 on Fox (WJW-TV in Cleveland) puts a Tootsie-like spin on the trails of Jack, the fired macho sports writer for a major metropolitan daily who finds the only way to be employed is to write an advice column as "Harriet Coco". . .and who reluctantly must shave his legs and don feminine attire to pass as the suddenly popular woman columnist! We watch in amusement as Jack tries ever so valiantly to use his alter-ego to get re-hired as his old self. . .and is rebuffed at every turn! Meanwhile, Harriet’s column continues to grow in popularity. . .and Jack just can’t escape being Harriet. Those who’ve seen Ask Harriet might join me in envying Jack’s predicament (as well as his ability to pass and change voice characters on a dime). . .all the while not totally buying his reluctance to be forced into his role as Harriet. Thankfully, the writers have not portrayed Jack/Harriet as a psycho. . .and we even get comic glimpses of Jack forgoing his macho persona and admitting to brief moments of enjoying being Ms. Coco. While the series does not do justice to the true nature of our compulsions, it nonetheless provides a humorous look at walking on the wild side, something we might all do well to indulge ourselves in occasionally.

Have you seen the television commercial for the Mitsubishi 4 x 4 where two rough looking western types on a back country road stop to pick up another of their sort? The back seat rider then proceeds to start applying lipstick in this most unlikely setting to the strange glances from the front seat. Immediately, the viewer must wonder what in blazes is going on with these rough and tumble types, especially when the front seat passenger asks if he can borrow some eye liner. The intrigue builds as we get quick glimpses of a blonde wig being fluffed. . .only to have resolution as the 4 x 4 pulls into a rodeo and three rodeo clowns in full costume and make up pile out of the sport utility vehicle. Amusing yes. . .but did anyone remember what brand of vehicle was being advertised? Nonetheless, another mass market (and humorous) swipe at our community, at large.

Coming to an art theatre near you. . .Ma Vie En Rose. A seven-year-old boy quickly discovers that he’s much more comfortable in the role of a girl and alarms his family, school chums and the entire community when he dons a pink frock and lipstick and makes his desires known. While I’ve only read a brief review of this foreign flick, I’ll be sure to be one of the first to see it when it hits town. Most likely, Ma Vie En Rose will show up at the Cedar Lee Cinema or the Centrum at Coventry. Check your local listings.

No doubt there are those who maintain that these examples of the transgendered life, even if humorous, are doing nothing to advance the cultural mores of an arguably decaying social order. However, therein lies the beauty of a First Amendment society given to free expression, and the God-given intelligence we have to make the choice of watching such expression or turning it off. This gal votes FOR expression, for it is through such expression that societal understanding of our uniqueness can be advanced. And guess what else. . .it can be downright fun!

A LITTLE REMINDER: NOMINATIONS FOR OFFICERS OPEN IN FEBRUARY.

Our newsletter has not, so far any way, run a "Miss Manners" –type column. But someone might want to consider starting one. However, in the meantime, I guess I’ll take the "bull by the horns" and address something that has become a bit of an issue.

Meeting night is meant to be a social time and a fun occasion, obviously. But there is also work to be done to keep the group going. The "doers" "do" as much as possible outside of meeting night and in committee meetings. There are still business matters that need to be addressed before the membership. It has become noticeable that some individuals are not "into" the meeting, so they begin carrying on their own conversations while the meeting is in progress.

Even more noticeable is that this same thing happened the last two times we have had speakers at our group. Apparently, a few individuals were not interested in what the speakers had to offer, so they chose, again, to carry on their own conversations while the speakers were addressing our group.

Come on, girls!! If you want to present yourself to the world as ladies, it takes a good deal more than the mode of dress you choose. A lady realizes that there are times when, even if she is "bored’, she should sit quietly and listen to what others have to say. If the conversation you want to have with a friend is of such interest and importance that it can’t be delayed until an appropriate time of socializing, then you might quietly and discreetly leave the room with your friend and find a cozy little corner for your tete a tete.

‘Nuff said. Love ya. See you on Valentine’s Day!

Kathleen