OUR CONDOLENCES

Our deepest sympathies are extended to Elaine and Debbie on the recent loss of Elaine's father. It is never easy to say good-bye to someone we love, especially when that someone is our parent. Your friends from Alpha Omega are with you in thought and prayer at this sad time.

Martin and I attended the memorial service held for Elaine's father. Coming away from this type of service feeling uplifted may seem like a strange thing to say; but that was the case. The service was held in the VFW near their home. As a testament to this man, the place was packed, and, there was, literally, standing room only. We had never met him, and knew practically nothing about him. But by the end of the service, we felt we did know him. It seems that even after death, he could still touch people.

Elaine's Dad lived a life that would be a difficult one for most of us to attain. From the testimonies that were given by individuals who knew him, and from the song that his grandson's wrote in his memory, this was someone who truly lived a life in which people and their troubles were his first calling. He gave of himself in tangible ways for those who needed tangible help, in inspiration to those who needed inspiration, and in love to those who needed love. It is our loss, that we never knew this very special person.

On place of the regular August meeting, will be the get together at Gloria and Kathleen's home. This get together will be held on Saturday, August 8. (The same day as the meeting would usually be.) You can arrive any time after 1:00 p.m. It is a non-dressed event. This is an opportunity to get to know the "other" side.

We will have coffee, tea and punch available, so if your tastes run to something else in the way of a beverage it will be BYOB. Dinner will be around 4:00 p.m.

There will be brief committee meetings at 2:00 p.m. Outside of this, it will be a time to relax and enjoy. We have already made Martin promise not to play volleyball this year, although he does have some "cool" new Indian's sneakers.

Our newest addition to activities is horseshoes. This one is actually my fault! We had an area that just absolutely would not grow grass. Even the experts couldn't get it to grow. So it was either add more dirt and more seed, add another garden area, or install a couple horseshoe pits. The horseshoe pits won.

Hopefully, it will be a wonderful 70 - ish degree sunny day so we can enjoy the great outdoors; but in case of rain, we still have the house and garage. We hope to see you then. Let us know if you need directions.

AMBITION IS A POOR EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING ENOUGH SENSE TO BE LAZY

MARLA'S MUSINGS

By Marla

Everybody needs a good chuckle now and then. I came across these brain teasers on the Internet (actually, I think they found me!) and thought I'd share them with the group:

-- Before they invented drawing boards, what did "they" go back to?

-- Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

-- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

-- How is it possible to have a civil war?

-- Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

-- It the #2 pencil is the most popularly used, why is it still #2?

-- If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

-- Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of asteroids?

-- If the black box flight recorder is never destroyed during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made of the same stuff?

-- Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

-- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made from meat?

Now you've all gained some valuable insight into my strange sense of humor. I hope I've brought a chuckle to your life.

Thanks to Tanya for the following article:

57 INSTANT SHOP THIN TIME AND MONEY SAVERS

By Bonnie August

1. Use the three-way mirror all three ways: check for bulges in profile and rear view.

2. Close your eyes and check whether anything feels tight anywhere. If the answer is "yes", don't buy it.

3. Use the "squint trick" to check that your purchase helps create a long bodyline, unbroken by horizontals.

4. Leave the fitting room and find a mirror in which you can see yourself from a distance. Repeat the squint trick.

5. Experiment with various style combinations in the fitting room. Time spent this way eliminates more time-consuming trips to return things that don't work. 

6. Read fabric content tags: Consider whether washing will cause shrinkage and play havoc with your careful Dress Thin selection. This applies especially to jeans and tee shirts.  

7. Try to take with you on shopping trips whatever shoes and underwear you plan to wear with your purchase. 

8. If it's on sale, make sure it's also compatible with your body type. Otherwise, it's no bargain. 

9. Think twice (at least) before buying any kind of hairy or pile fabric. Terry, velour, poodlecloth, mohair, etc. will add five pounds or more, Depending on how deep the pile or how long the hair. 

10. If you're heavy anywhere below the waist or busty, reject anything with dolman or raglan sleeves--they echo heaviness and make you look dumpy.

11. If you're busty, reject Empire lines and ruffles. Both are maximizing.   

12. Unless your legs are flawless, don't wear your hemlines above the knees. 

13. Be aware that letting hems down may not always be an option -- the original press line may be permanent.

14. If you have a tummy, avoid belted styles. 

15. Next time you decide to buy a bra, ask a good fitter for her advice.  Bring a sweater and try on all bra possibilities under it.

16. Beige lingerie is a money saver -- it works under any color. White shows through many colors, including white. 

17. Don't buy a swimsuit with contrast color trim on any part of you where you are heavy. 

18. No matter what your problem area, don't buy a swimsuit with horizontal stripes. If your bust is small, don't buy one with vertical stripes. (Mitered stripes are good for us. T.) 

19. If you have a tummy, buy a suit with Lycra in the fabric -- it will hold you In. 

20. When buying shoes or accessories, locate a full-length mirror and get the total picture. 

21. WARNING: Shoes with very thin heels or pointy toes and very delicate sandals exaggerate heaviness in the legs and in the torso above. 

22. Don't let a shoe salesperson talk you into the wrong size shoe.   Shoes that fit badly contribute to bad posture, which adds pounds. 

23. If your torso is heavy, don't buy shoes with heels lower than one inch. They make you look dumpy. 

24. Don't buy tight knee-high boots that choke your legs and cause bulges. If the lining is made of leather, you can have the boots stretched.   Otherwise, buy a different style. 

25. Buy "sheer to waist" pantyhose to wear under short or slit skirts; other constructions have reinforcement lines that show and make your thighs look heavy. 

26. If your legs are heavy, reject semi-sheer pantyhose labeled opaque, and all heavy patterns and textures. 

27. If you're heavy anywhere in the torso, don't buy knee socks or anklets. They cut the bodyline and add pounds.  

28. Here's how to recognize the instant-thin silhouette for you right on the hanger. If you're narrow above the waist but heavy below, choose a dress with fitted bodice and controlled-fullness skirt. If you're narrow below the waist but heavy above choose a dress with a straight skirt and a full bodice. If you're curvy both above and below the waist, choose a  straight chemise silhouette. If your entire torso is heavy, choose a full caftan silhouette. 

29. If you buy a belted dress, one with hidden elastic under the belt is better than one with a seam. Since the elastic gives, it won't cut into your waist and cause bulges. 

30. When you buy a suit, try to do it in a store that employs a tailor--or locate your own tailor and treat him or her with kid gloves. 

31. Try on double-breasted suits first if you're torso heavy. Double- breasted buttons break up torso width. 

32. Any suit jacket should have shoulder padding--its essential to good proportion. It you're straight-up-and-down or heavy below the waist, slightly exaggerated shoulders are a proportion-correcting plus. 

33. If you're heavy below the waist, choose square-off styling rather than a curved jacket hemline that repeats and emphasizes your own curves. 

34. A hipbone-length jacket is more flattering on most body types than a longer one. It makes your legs look longer. 

35. If your jacket has back vents, make sure they don't gape. If they do, buy a different jacket. 

36. Ditto if your skirt has inverted pleats.  

37. Broad coat or jacket lapels are unflattering to most body types. If you are broad-shouldered or busty, choose narrow lapels. If you're small on top, medium to narrow ones are best. 

38. If you are shortwaisted, busty, hippy or have a tummy, reject patch and flap pockets: look for inconspicuous pocket styling.  

39. Heavy thighs? Get those running or tennis shorts long enough to cover the bulge. 

40. Prominent tummy or rear?  Avoid waist-length ski parkas and warm-up jackets. 

41. Wide waist or derriere bulge? Buy active sportswear with tailored waistbands, not elastic, gathered or drawstring waists. 

42. If you have a tummy, avoid open-pleated skirts. 

43. Avoid cuffs, patches and tricky seams on jeans and pants if your legs or short. 

44. Don't be seduced by tight jeans that seem to slim you in the fitting room.  Over the course of the day, body heat produces horizontal stress lines that clearly signal where the proportion problems lie. 

45. Never buy a coat that weights you down. It will make you look as heavy as you feel.  

46. If you plan to wear a suit under your coat, wear the suit when you shop for the coat. 

47. Don't buy a fitted raincoat in a shiny fabric--the highlights will highlight your proportion problems.  

48. Don't buy a thick heavy sweater coat with cables.  

49. Buy a coat in a flat fabric. Avoid high-calorie Harris tweeds, plaids, blanket stripes or any horizontal stripes, and curly, hairy or double-faced fabrics. Also reject fur or fake-fur coat linings. 

50. Fur jackets are fattening unless you have long legs. 

51. When in doubt about the length of a fur coat, buy it on the long side. 

52. If you're buying a fluffy fur, choose an unbelted style. 

53. Don't buy a coat with a lining made of wool or other textured material. It will cling and distort the line of the coat in a fattening way.  

54. If you're buying a quilted coat, realize that the thickest insulation isn't necessarily the warmest. Recent synthetic insulators are just as warm as down---and less bulky. 

55. It's easier to Dress Thin for a formal occasion than for any other.   Choose a long formal look, not a short one, in a floaty fabric.  

56. If your torso or bone structure is heavy, don't buy tiny jewelry, bags or scarves. Choose oversize sun- glasses rather than small ones.  

57. Before you shop, read and take notes from the relevant chapters of he Complete Bonnie August Dress Thin System. Or better yet, take the book with you!  

I hope these two lists I have given you in the past two issues of la Femme Silhouette will help you. Combine them with my three articles (Longer Legs in Thirty Days, Narrower Shoulders Without Diet Pills, and Eat Your Way to and Hourglass Figure) from the previous newsletters, and you will have a "mini-manual" to help you with making your wardrobe its most flattering. 

I take no credit for this information. Bonnie August did the work. I just edited and transcribed it. But, I enjoyed doing it, and I hope you enjoy the benefits. 

By the way, in case you wondered what the "squint trick" is, look at yourself in the mirror and then squint so that you can't see the details, only your general outline. Whether the clothing you are wearing helps or hurts your proportions will be readily obvious. Works every time! 

DECISION '99

By Gloria

Well, fans of the hourglass of time, four meetings have taken place since your current officers took the helm of the good ship Alpha Omega. Many of you are aware that for Elaine and I, sitting at the front table is not a new experience. I am proud of the service Elaine has given to Alpha Omega, and happy to call her a friend. 

I am very pleased that Marla accepted the nomination for Vice President as well. It is important that the ideas and spirit of newer members be a part of what Alpha Omega stands for, and that we encourage this ideal. 

We can all be proud of the commitment Marla has given to our group, and she is well worthy of being an officer. And, by the way, Marla, congratulations on achieving your Master's Degree. I know you worked very hard to earn it. 

I hope, Marla, that you are enjoying being an officer, and I have faith you will do well. Keep up the good work, my friend. 

Elaine, Marla and I, along with the much appreciated assistance of many others have worked hard to make this an exciting year to be a part of Alpha Omega. We have gained new members, established a very well-received web page, had vibrant speakers, and done all in our power to promote the feelings of support, caring, friendship, and fun. 

As a part of Alpha Omega I sincerely hope that each of you has felt and experienced the excitement of attending our meetings. This year's Christmas Party will be my ten year anniversary with Alpha Omega, and by then I will be very close to closing out my fifth time of being elected as president of this group. 

Alpha Omega is more than just a group to me. Alpha Omega changed my life, and in many ways gave me life far beyond my expectations. Alpha Omega is a part of my soul, and I take pride in being a part of something really wonderful.  

I have striven in what ways I can, in the hope of helping others find the peace of mind, friendship, caring, and love that I have found. This is a goal I hope that I never tire of. 

After this term of office; however, I would like to focus on an Outreach Program for the group, as my main effort. And so that everyone is prepared well in advance, I tell you that I will not run for office again next year. 

It is time to pass the gavel to others, and let them utilize their talents and skills and ideas in leading the future of Alpha Omega. And many of you are more than qualified to do this, as the only real asset an officer needs is a caring heart. 

After five terms in office, I need to step down for the good of the group, and for myself as well. I have tried to encourage others to be active in the group and to be officers because it is not only a learning experience, but a growth experience as well. 

Give it a try!

Be an officer!

You, too can become President, or Vice President, or Secretary/Treasurer!

Alpha Omega needs you!

Respectfully Submitted,

Gloria Sue Fenton
President of Alpha Omega

ENERGIZER BUNNY ARRESTED, CHARGED WITH BATTERY

NEWSLETTER BLUES

By Kathleen

Well, between the article I just entered for Gloria and the one I am about to enter for myself, it is going to sound as if we were abandoning ship. Believe me, it isn't so! Just shifting gears.

The December issue of la Femme Silhouette will be the last one for me. By then I will have been putting one of these puppies to bed each month for nearly four years. This in response to my "naïve" offer to help out for a while. I began my effort to pass along this responsibility sometime last year. As you can see, I'm still here. At the time of nominations we officially announced that I would be stepping down at the end of the year.

Well, believe it or not, the end of the year is getting closer. Several people volunteered to be on the Newsletter Committee. This is one of the meetings we will have before the relaxation portion of our get together. I know that with the pool of talent we have in this group, a newsletter complete with graphics and other such "technical" stuff could be published by this group.

I will continue to be involved and active with this group in other ways, but I need to get away from the monthly deadline of getting out the newsletter. In all honestly, I feel rusty and dusty when it comes to putting this publication together each month.

I'm very grateful to Olena, Marla and, of course, Gloria whose contributions have helped to make this an interesting newsletter. And God Bless Tanya for her series of articles. They are almost like a soap opera. You ladies can't wait to see what comes next!

But Alpha Omega needs "fresh blood" at the helm of its newsletter. (Doesn't that sound totally vampirish -- and Halloween is no where near!) Seriously, like Tanya and Debbie before me, I am experiencing a bit of burn out; and we could use some fresh candles to continue to light the way not only for our own group but for all the others who read our newsletter.

On a current note, both the August and September issues of the newsletter will be mailed somewhat earlier than usual, due to scheduling. For August we found that not everyone knew that our get together was on Saturday rather than Sunday as it has been in past years. So we are trying to mail early to get the word out. Our September issue will be out somewhat early so that we can take a much-needed vacation.

See you August 8^th at our place.

Kathleen