List of Officers:
President: Gloria Fenton
Vice President: Michelle Stuart
Sec/Treasurer: Sandy

Newsletter Staff:
Editor: Tanya
Editor/Publisher: Deborah

PRESIDENTS'S VIEW By Gloria
MICHELLE'S MUSINGS By Michelle Stuart
MEETING MINUTES
NOTES OF INTEREST
QUESTION OF THE MONTH
EDITORIAL
PROGRAM VIEW By Elaine Lee
ARE WE CONCERNED By Deborah Lynnette Lee
A LETTER FROM GLORIA By Gloria Fenton
MY DREAM By Pam F.
SPECIAL THANKS By Gloria Fenton
A NEW ENDANGERED SPECIES
GENDER BENDING

I wish to begin by saying how proud I am to be a member of Alpha Omega, to know the people in this chapter and call them friends.

During this past year, we have begun many projects while others have evolved from what was already there. In everything which has been done, and will be done this coming year, I have had a very personal goal in mind. My dream has been to see Alpha Omega (a group of some of the most wonderful people I have ever known in my life) expand its horizons.

We are much more than just a group of crossdressers, wives and partners. We are Human Beings, reaching out for the support, understanding and acceptance from others like ourselves, allowing us to be who we are as individuals. The more we get to know each other as people and friends, not just within our chapter but aside from it also, we grow and learn about ourselves. This, in turn, can only make the chapter stronger. The stronger and more united the chapter is, the better we can reach out to others who are feeling as alone as we used to.

I know there must be an "old saying" to cover this but it's not coming to mind. Excuse me as I try to express my thoughts in my own feeble words. "The more you reach out and the more you give OF yourself, the more you truly become whole and complete WITHIN yourself."

This year Alpha Omega will be reaching out in many ways and will need the support, encouragement and involvement of everyone to succeed. Each of us has one little thing we can do to help within our own personal guidelines of security. That is all I can ask for from each of you. Write an article now and then; be active on a committee; be a "Big Sister"; call or write your friends in the chapter; take of your time at a meeting to make a new person feel comfortable and welcome. By talking to and listening to each other, you might be surprised at the wonders that can happen.

I can lead and do what I think is best, but I can accomplish very little alone. Together we can move mountains - one stone at a time. I will do my best to give the strength of leadership needed to bring our goals to fruition, but I need your help because only YOU can make it happen.

There will be a General Affairs Committee meeting each meeting-night at 6:00 PM to work out the "nuts and bolts" operations of the chapter and to help me set the agenda for the business meeting. Anyone with topics to be brought up at the business meeting (committee chairpersons or individual members) must present them to the General Affairs Committee for discussion and placement on the agenda. This procedure, I believe, will help keep business meetings as brief as possible and interesting to all.

I also ask that each committee appoint a spokesperson who will keep the officers updated on the committee's progress each month. If your committee does not have a spokesperson, please get together at the May meeting (if not before) and pick one. Monthly committee updates (verbal or written) are requested beginning with the June meeting. They can be given to me prior to or at the meeting. I need them to know what is, or is not, going on with each committee so I can keep the membership aware of their progress.

The Outreach Committee will meet at 6:30 PM at the May meeting to select a spokesperson and formalize a program of activity to follow. Members are asked to be prepared with ideas to implement the outreach program for the coming year.

The idea of outside activities by members of the chapter have been discussed informally. Ideas like a one-day campout, a bowling night, card night, a pajama party, a picnic or dinner. Obviously, not everyone could participate in all these activities but, at the May meeting, I would like your ideas formalized and presented to the group for consideration. We've talked about them. Now it's time to do them. Don't you agree?

Jennifer and Deborah Lee have found a restaurant which may be a fantastic place to hold a chapter dinner or even our Christmas party. They will be telling us more about it at the May meeting.

The General Affairs Committee will also be considering ways to find a nicer, larger place to hold our monthly meetings. Look forward to more details. ### We are a very special group, deserving of respect. How can I not be proud to be a part of Alpha Omega? See you in May.

Love, Gloria

Hello Girls,

Sorry I wasn't able to make the meeting last month. On quite short notice, my cousin from Kentucky and his family decided to come to Cleveland to visit their Yankee relatives. For various reasons no one else in the family could house them so my Mom asked if I could put them up in my condo. I immediately realized the conflict with our meeting but how could I say "No" to my cousin, whom I hadn't seen in years? We grew up together as kids. I couldn't think of them staying in a motel when I have all the room needed at my place. ### I let Gloria know of the situation and we agreed it be best if I excused myself from the meeting to host my cousin and his family. ### I decided to let my cousin and his wife stay in Michelle's elegant bedroom while their two boys would sleep in the basement on my sleep sofa. I had work to do in Michelle's room - lots of work! I had to remove all of her lingerie and accessories from the dresser along with her dresses from the closet. Can you imagine them going to put their stuff in the dresser, only to discover drawers loaded with wigs, hip pads and falsies? Yikes! ### The bathroom medicine cabinet had to be cleared of cosmetics, nail polish and cologne. The dressing room closet contained more dresses, petticoats and my favorite nightgowns. Had to get those outa there! Plus I had to make sure my Epilady was removed from the vanity. I doubt they would have believed my story of using it for making fresh orange juice!

It sure would have been easier to have said "No" and say I had contracted a rare disease which required quarantine! But no, I really couldn't do that. On the other hand, I had to put Michelle's belongings in so many hiding places all over the condo that now I cannot remember where I put everything. Shoot! ### Since my guests left, I have been debating whether or not I should put Michelle's stuff back in the fancy bedroom and bath. Girls, I can see it now: My Mom calls me at work to say my other cousin and his family just arrived out of the blue. She gave them her key to my condo and they are on their way there as we speak.

I panic as I think of stockings hanging in the bathroom, the wig hung over the tub to dry and the falsies drying on the vanity. Oh yes, my gown came back from the cleaners but I haven't put it in the closet yet. And, of course, the latest issue of TAPESTRY and other femme correspondence is lying on the kitchen counter. How's that for a crisis? Girls, our femmeselves can be a great joy but, at times, quite a nuisance!

Nevertheless, I enjoyed my cousin's visit. It was nice to be able to extend my hospitality to my relatives. I look forward to seeing them again. My cousin's wife told me that someday I will make some special lady happy with my lovely bedroom. I smiled with the thought of how that bedroom has already made a lady very happy - the lady within.

I believe I will have to excuse myself once more this year from a meeting. Some months ago, I agreed to serve as an usher in a friend's wedding. Shoot! I was going to wear my new French maid's outfit for the Halloween meeting. Maybe I could make up for it by forgoing the usher's job and serving as a bridesmaid at the wedding?

Bye for now, Michelle

Gloria called the April 11th meeting to order, 23 members and guests in attendance. Due to the change in officers, the Treasurer's report was unavailable. It will be furnished at the May meeting. It was announced that the meeting to close out the books for the previous year was held on April 5, 1992.

Under Old Business, Gloria announced seven wives were in attendance for the wive's outing on April 3, and requested members bring their ideas for other outings to the next meeting and we will start finalizing dates for those outings. The General Affairs committee will discuss wives and husbands holding office at the same time at the May meeting. Gloria reported that we will no longer have a door prize, only 50/50 raffle.

Under New Business, the vendor's directory, outside activities, and revamping committees was discussed. Following is a list of the new committees for 1992-1993:

General Affairs (Meets at 6:00 p.m. every meeting night.)-Gloria, Michelle, Sandy, Deborah, Megan, Barb, Charlotte and Jennifer.

Food Committee-Joanne, Kristen, Diane and Allie. Newsletter-Tanya and Deborah. Entertainment (Awards)-Jennifer, Charlotte and Tanya.

Outreach-Gloria, Michelle, Sandy, Deborah, Jennifer, Charlotte, Barb, Megan, Kathleen and Tanya.

Wives and Partners-All wives and partners are automatic members. Interview-Gloria, Michelle, Sandy, Tanya, Deborah, Barb, Jennifer, Kathleen, Megan and Pam.

Meeting Follow Up Committee-Anyone who stays overnight please stop down in the morning and check the meeting room.

Big Sister-Michelle, Gloria, Sandy, Tanya, Kathy, Cheryl & Megan and Deborah. Librarian-Gloria.

Photographer-Deborah.

Megan brought up moving the meeting place and forming a committee to look into alternate meeting places. Gloria to discuss this with Paradise. Reasons to move the meeting place were discussed. Thanks were given to Kristen and Joanne for the great dinner and donation of the door prize.

Anyone interested in visiting "Wildside" in Toronto on May 15, 16 & 17, 1992, contact Pam from Erie. Diane from Erie Sisters and Marilyn from TransPitt were recognized and welcomed. Deborah was wished a Happy Birthday.

Jennifer and Deborah checked out a restaurant and will report in May. Kathleen brought up the idea that we should start thinking about contributing something for the joint picnic with Paradise in August.

We have collected enough money for the TV through the meeting fee surcharge and will purchase one by the May meeting to show videos at the meetings.

Deborah brought up the subject of a letter she and Jennifer sent to National about awards to membership. Sandy will look up the letter and resend it to National.

Deborah moved, seconded by Pam and Tanya, the meeting be adjourned. Motion passed.

Respectfully submitted, Sandy C.

May Meeting

The May 9th meeting will be held at the Manor. The evening's entertainment/edification will be the discussion session suggested by Megan in last month's SILHOUETTE. The group will divide up between crossdressers and wives to discuss a similar topic and obtain a consensus. The two groups will then come together to discuss the views arrived at during their individual discussions.

Cort Aid

A few issues back I mentioned a hint I had received concerning the use of cortisone cream as an after shave treatment to prevent the irritation common when one must give herself a super-close shave prior to the application of makeup.

My personal experience since first learning the trick from Dee Ownbey has been 100% positive. In the past, I suffered severe "barber's itch" for at least two to three days after meetings. Since trying cortisone cream, irritation has totally ceased to be a problem.

Well, make the experience 90% positive - cortisone creams are greasy, making a poor base under makeup. Dee warned she had to apply the cream, wait five minutes, then blot off the excess with a tissue before applying makeup.

I recently discovered a product that returns the rating to 100% positive. Revco Drug sells a cortisone cream called "CortaGel," manufactured by Inter-Hermes Pharmaceutical, Inc. It is a TOTALLY GREASELESS clear gel which is instantly and completely absorbed into the skin, leaving absolutely nothing on the surface. I tried it for the April meeting. Not only was it completely absorbed by my facial skin, I couldn't even feel it on the fingers used to apply it. Fifteen seconds after application, it was GONE!

If you have previously "paid the price" all the way to Wednesday for looking gorgeous Saturday, DO try "CortaGel."

Due to time constraints, the "Question of the Month" was not discussed at the April meeting. For this reason, we will address the same question at the May meeting:

Name one thought or idea you have which you believe would improve Alpha Omega this coming year.

My comments this month are going to be extremely short. A personal situation has arisen at the time I normally write this which requires 110% of my attention. I pray all will be back to normal by the time the June issue of the SILHOUETTE is prepared.

I will be unable to attend the May meeting due to work considerations. I had hoped 1992 would be my first year as a member of Alpha Omega I would attend all twelve meetings. Alas, such will not be the case. Jennifer will hold my proxy on any votes which might be taken plus a memo on my personal feelings concerning the topic of the discussion session. As you enjoy yourselves Saturday evening, think of this old bimbo slaving away at work!

After I sent all the files to Deborah Lee last month so she could create order from my electronic chaos, it hit me I had forgotten something I originally planned to include in my editorial comments. While Alpha Omega is not the first Tri Ess chapter to elect a "generic" female to office, Sandy's election as Secretary/Treasurer is a first for us.

I am quite comfortable with having Sandy as Sec/Treas and quite confident in her ability to do the job and do it well. Having served a number of terms as "Adjutant" of my Civil War regiment, I know what the job of Sec/Treas entails: lots of work with little recognition and no compensation other than the knowledge of a job well done.

CONGRATULATIONS SANDY! The membership of Alpha Omega picked a winner when they picked you. Please know that, over the next year, some of the hairs on your head will change to a color you'd prefer not to find. Conversely, please know your heart will be filled with a feeling of accomplishment few others can enjoy!

One last note, a special message to Kay F.: Some months back I challenged you to make your first appearance en femme at the 1992 Alpha Omega Christmas Party. Less than seven months are left till December 5th. Are your preparations progressing? We WILL get to meet you that evening, WON'T WE?!?

Love, Tanya

After the business meeting was adjourned, the night was turned over to some of our vendors who are either members or are friends of the club.

The first vendor was Maureen. She is a registered Electrologist, one who removes unwanted hair permanently through electrolysis. She handed out some papers which contained information about hair and electrology. One of the diagrams showed what hair is and how it grows. Maureen told us how long it usually takes to clear a face of unwanted hair and about how much it costs.

Our next vendor displayed her talents on the faces of several of the sisters. Janet Jackson did makeovers on Rhonda, Kristen, Diane, Tanya and Pam D. (sorry if I left anyone out). She told us about some of the products that can help crossdressers the most. Janet answered any and all questions asked.

Tanya was next. Tanya has a business selling breast prostheses. She handed out her catalog and pamphlets about her product line. She showed us several different types and passed the samples around so we could see and feel them for ourselves. She told us that the catalogs which were just printed were already obsolete as one of their models, which was supposedly taken off the market, was continued by the company.

Deborah Lee talked about portrait art. She showed us a pastel portrait she did and some photographs of other work she has done. She paints with oil and also does portraits in pastel and charcoal. I brought several Avon Jewelry pieces for sale. I will bring them back with additional pieces at the next meeting.

Fondly, Elainee

Are women's concerns ours also?

I was reading an article in "Glamour" magazine while having my hair permed. The article was addressing the state of womanhood in the 90's and where they have come in the last 30 years or so since the very beginning of the women's movement. I read about the conditions back then and being an avid woman-lover and one myself (buried deep inside of me), I kept on reading and remembering the way things were and the way they are now. I know evolution is a slow process and it wasn't all that long ago that women got the right to vote, but it's too darn long! And where are women and their issues now?

I started out asking the question. "Are women's concerns ours also?" I realized you bet they are. Whenever there is injustice to any people, bias, discrimination and hate, all people should come to their help. I look around at work and see how the women are treated and paid. Being in a male body, I have the ability to infiltrate the male groups and listen to the sexist and degrading talk about women. Oh how I remember when I was like them because that is what "being a man" was all about. More about that later. It wasn't all that long ago when a truth was revealed to me about the proper attitude towards women. An attitude that would make this world a safer and more caring place for women. I must turn back to the time when I was living in the ashram. The men were on the third floor and the women on the second floor. How can persons of the opposite sex live in close proximity and still have no incidence of impropriety? How can 10 to 12 men live together with 15 or so women, and yet not speak one wrongful word against any women living there? A time when these same women were protected from debauchees and didn't have to worry about sexual harassment, let alone rape. It had to do with people being Human first, aware of the bigger picture. The fact that we saw each other as souls and not objects allowed us to co-exist without incident. If we put ourselves in the shoes of the other first, before opening our mouths, there would be less ills in our society.### But we do not live in a protective environment like the ashram was and women are seen and used as objects. Funny isn't it, that the largest segment of our population should still be the "minority" when it comes to equality or justice? If women banded together and changed our society, what a different place this world would be. Maybe not better, but definitely different. The recent publicity of rape cases, involving men of popular social standing either being let off or convicted has certainly drawn more attention to the fact that things are slowly changing.

But what about our personal lives? I know I have said some demeaning things in the past about the girls in school. I can distinctly remember how my own "sex education class" was my lunch class, of which Mike G. had been ordained in the role of head master. His dissertations on his expeditions into the "wild world of women" certainly kept us on the edge of our seats. But I was able to determine for myself, with the help of some of my friends who were girls, that this attitude was for cavemen and not for a person who cares about themselves and others. The more I hung around with these girlfriends, the more I realized that we are all in the same boat. We are very much alike with our fears, needs and wants. Then why is there apparently so much difference between us?

Our physiologies are radically different and in general, men are stronger and more aggressive, but are these physical differences responsible for ignorance? Is it necessary to evolve a breed of women who can compete on the physical level to draw attention away from our physical differences so we can start addressing the real issues? I don't think so. So what will it take?

I believe education is the answer. As with the AIDS issue, education alleviates the fear. Once fear is removed, then understanding and compassion can come about. The sooner we learn that Human dignity breeds self-esteem and self-esteem allows growth, and growth is evolution, then all people will be free from within. Freedom is our unalienable right and with freedom comes self-expression and self-expression begets knowledge. This could become an epidemic of the best type. If you feel put upon whenever you wear a dress, think about those who normally (in our society) wear them and how they have to live with the discrimination.

Yes, women's concerns are ours and we need to become educated in the way women think and observe our world. This education will only do us good. So pick up those women's magazines, read about women's attitudes nowadays and not what you imagine they "should" be thinking. Let's rid ourselves of our stereotypical women's image that we think we emulate and get to know who we are. Get off our duffs and get busy helping to break down communications barriers so we can become useful in our society. ### Maybe we should talk about some of these issues so we are aware that our humanity is the issue. What do you think?

Love, Deb

Last month I told you some about my comedy heroes and how they have influenced my warped sense of humor. This time I'd like to tell you about other heroes I've had in my life.

Abraham Lincoln has always been a hero to me. Here was an individual, many ways a misfit in the Society of his time, who became a legend; known around the world today and well into the future. He was tall, lanky and perhaps not too handsome. He was a self-taught backwoodsman who had a knack with a story. People liked him. He wasn't very imposing in personality and was far from the "upper crust". In fact, he was said to be very common. He didn't look for the limelight, it just seemed to find him.

To me, he was someone who looked beyond himself with thoughtfulness and true caring for his fellow Human Beings. I guess this is what I most admire and try to emulate in my own feeble way.

Much great oratory was heard that day the cemetery at Gettysburg was dedicated. The "keynote" speaker rambled on for over two hours. When President Lincoln took the podium and spoke so briefly, the audience was stunned. In time, however, his words - like the man - have taken on an aura of greatness that few have ever achieved.

I suppose I could write a book about him but, to me, his greatest accomplishment or legacy was his humanness. In a time of terrible conflict, this quality helped, even after his death, to reunite a country.

Another hero of mine is Samuel Clemens. Who? Perhaps you know him better by his pen name, "Mark Twain". His prowess with the written word entertained millions and will do so for years to come. He didn't just tell a story, he made you feel it and live it. I've wished I could someday put words to paper which would mean something. I'll probably never do that but I can truly admire those who have, such as Mark Twain. You might laugh at my next hero but it is John Wayne. Not for all his "tough guy" performances but, rather, a couple of his films you don't seem to see all that often: "The Quiet Man" and "The Shootist". Oh sure, he's big and tough but, especially in "The Shootist" - his last film, you see a tenderness and realization of his humanness and failings which, to me, really stand for his character.

Others who are heroes of mine include Mahatma Gandhi, Harry Truman, Lou Gehrig, Teddy Roosevelt, Susan B. Anthony, Pearl Bailey (for her work with children) and Mother Theresa.

There are many others who have a special quality or have done many things I admire but the most important heroes in my life are my wife, Kathy, and my Mom and Dad. They are heroes because they have given love and understanding to me, especially at times when I'm not sure I deserved it. Their love has never faltered or failed, even if I have at times. They are true heroes - the unsung people who help us hold our lives together and give us meaning.

Yes, I'd love to be someone's hero someday. Maybe I will. But, if I ever am, it will be because of the influence my heroes had on me.

Love, Gloria

BACKGROUND: I was born in February 1947. In the spring of 1950 my family (Mom, Dad, Sis and I) moved to California because I was asthmatic. It didn't help my chronic attacks so we moved back to Ohio, and our old neighborhood, in 1952. The new house we moved into was about ten blocks away from our old house. My first memory of crossdressing was in that house.

My sister is 353 days younger than me and, back then, we played quite a lot together. As children do, we got bored with our toys and make-believe scenarios. We played "grocery store", "house", "cowboy/cowgirl", etc. Well can I remember my sister asking "What can we play now?" On one occasion I responded "Lets play dress-up. You be the boy I'll be the girl." Of course, she went along. We were completely oblivious to the gender stigma attached to clothes. As I remember, this only happened four or five times until she didn't want any part of this make-believe game. Try as I might, she rejected the game each time.

My next exposure to crossdressing would be by myself quite a few years later. At about the same time I started having a nightmare. I call it such now because then it was a very traumatic experience when it occurred. I would wake up each time very scared, distressed and confused.

Here I must say the dream was exactly the same every time I dreamt it. I had three or four a year over a period of probably five or six years.

As the dream started, it was like the description of an out-of-body experience you hear about. My mind would be watching a scene unfolding, though I would not be conscious of that mind being in a body. It was sort of like only my consciousness or intellect observing the 3-D Technicolor panorama unfolding. It seemed as though I were a very great distance above a lightly wooded area. Not being concerned with the forest in particular, my attention would immediately be drawn to a log cabin resting gently on a very green patch of perfectly kept lawn. The lawn subtly rolled away from the cabin in all directions. "Peaceful" was the only way to describe it.

Looking at the cabin, I am drawn into it almost automatically only by sight or, so to speak, telescopically. After the first few times dreaming the dream, I tried to resist this but I couldn't. As I zoom in on the cabin, it becomes transparent and I am suddenly gazing at the scene inside. The walls of course are logs. The light inside is soft and warm but I don't know where it is coming from. Then I notice a very attractive, very young, very blonde little girl. She is sitting in front of the only window that I am aware of. Sitting, rocking, just gazing out that window, content and happy looking. The rocking chair is a child's rocker, small but also very old. She is very pretty in her pink dress with lace at the collar, cuffs and hem. Her hair is as soft as corn silk and about that color too. A pink ribbon holds her hair back so only part of her ears are showing. Soft gentle curls cascade out of the ribbon and seem to flow from it. The curls sway easily as she rocks back and forth. With all this I see, though, I can't remember ever seeing her face.

I am aware of her emotions almost as if I am connected to them. She is content, happy and pleased by the sights outside the window. Rocking in the little chair and gazing out the window makes her very happy.

An overwhelming feeling sweeps over my whole consciousness. I have an unmistakable knowledge that I am that little girl in the chair. I knew it! I could feel it! All my being knew I was her and she was me! At best I was completely confused by this sense of connection with her. I didn't understand any of it but knew what I knew. That person in the rocking chair was me! Why, how, or for what I didn't have the slightest idea. I could feel the contentment the peace inside this little girl. I knew she was happy where she was and what she was. All this peace, contentment and connection I could feel.

I then became aware of a distant rumbling sound. You know, the kind of sound that, when you hear it, even for the very first time, you know it isn't a good sound. Something bad was coming. As the sound came closer the little girl's joy turned to terror. Still watching out the window as the sound and apprehension increased, her rocking decreased. Then she stopped rocking and just leaned towards the window, watching and waiting. She knew what was approaching and she knew what would happen. I could feel her fear mounting. Then, just as in the beginning of this scene, my consciousness zoomed backwards out into space. It was as if someone ignited the rocket I was on and I flew back to my original, detached, safe position. Once there, the otherwise pastoral scene was transformed into a terrible scene of destruction. The quite calm cabin was about to be crushed by an avalanche of large rocks and earth. As I watched from my lofty and safe observation point I could still feel the little girls' emotions. The peace, warmth, and happiness were now replaced with terror and panic. It filled me to my very core and I would cry out and weep uncontrollably. Then the emotional transmitter ceased and it's now terrible transmission silent.

The little girl was dead and so was that part of me she was. At this point I would wake up, usually drenched with sweat and filled with the lingering terror that something in me had really died but I was still alive.

Many times after I quit having that dream, I wondered why she died what the nightmare meant. Then one day it hit me. I had killed her. Each time I denied she was in me, I had put her to death. She was the girl in me sitting patiently, awaiting her time to leave that cabin. Waiting to breathe God's fresh air, see the beautiful world He made and show off that pretty pink dress she wore. Time after time, the avalanche of guilt would crush her and the beauty inside her; leaving me empty, alone, and crying because I killed her.

The dream stopped sort of by itself. As I remember, it may have stopped around the first time I put on one of my sister's dresses when we moved into another house in 1959. Time clouds many of the dates but the sights and emotions that happened over and over I'll never forget.

Today, we - that little girl and I - are proud of who we are. We are alive and living our lives together. We are at peace now that I have accepted her. We both are happy now that she is out of that cabin and I am out of that guilt. We may still not be able to venture beyond the soft green velvet lawn and out into the forest of unknowns but we have put up a welcome sign in the yard finally. The most important fact, though, is I will never, ever lose her again. The rest of our lives will be at peace, happy and together.

Love, Luck, Laughter, Pam

For the time and effort given to provide our chapter with a truly fantastic meal at our April meeting, we praise our Food Committee, especially Kristen and Joanne for their efforts. This committee, plus those who help out by bringing special deserts, etc., really make our dinners a wonderful part of our evening together.

To Jamie and Pam D. for bringing special guests from other groups to share our time together. And "Thank you" to Marilyn and Diane L. for being here with us.

To the Entertainment Committee, Jennifer in particular, for helping to make our meetings exciting with speakers and programs for all to enjoy and be a part of.

To Maureen, Janet Jackson, Tanya and Deborah Lee for their presentations on Vendor's Night and to Elaine for bringing many of her Avon products. Your expertise, knowledge and products or services help us all.

To Elaine Lee for taking the time to write articles for the newsletter about our programs and speakers for those who were unable to attend. Elaine is a special wife and we are so glad she has made this effort for our members. Keep up the good work! [Elaine was not asked to create her monthly column, she just did it. I have only one comment: ATTAGIRL! ed.]

To Sandy, the first wife to hold an officer's position in Alpha Omega. Your willingness to be a part of the madness of running the chapter means so much to us all.

To Cheryl, another special wife, for her newsletter article last month. Your thoughts and feelings are important and we are pleased you took the time to express them.

To all, both new and old, who were willing to give of themselves by joining our committees. Your input and support is needed for the betterment of all.

To Kathleen, for helping Sandy with the finances last month. Due to circumstances beyond her control, Sandy was a little late arriving so Kathy stepped in to help.

To Janet Jackson, for being a very special friend to Alpha Omega and offering to do makeovers before meetings whenever she can. Some ladies looked extra-good at the April meeting because of you. You're a classy lady, Jan.

To the Newsletter Committee and all those who contribute to our "voice". They make our newsletter the best.

To Kristen and Joanne, for donating the April door prize. To Cheryl and Sandy for coordinating the door prize and 50/50 raffles this past year.

Lastly, to Alpha Omega as a whole for providing the funds needed to purchase a TV set to go with our donated VCR. Now we have the means to present video tapes of importance and interest each month to our chapter.

We could go on and on with special "thank you's" as each and every member deserves one. The point of this new monthly column is to give special recognition to those who have made our last meeting a wonderful experience.

(This article is reprinted from the TV/TS Tapestry, Issue 60)

That's right friends and non-sports fans, it's true. We crossdressers are, like the dinosaurs and the spotted owl, a dying breed. How, you may ask, can you say such a thing, particularly now when the gender community appears to be growing by leaps and bounds. Let me present, for your consideration, my evidence.

How many times, in the past few months, have you met someone for the first time and in the first two sentences, they make it a point to inform you that they are a transsexual? (Hi! My name is Chatty Cathy. I'm a TS.)

How many times, in the past few months, have you heard, "TSs have serious concerns and problems," or the flip side, "TVs are only interested in dressing up"?

How many conventions have you been to that have a strong, well regimented, and well organized TS program while the TV program consists of shopping tours, sightseeing tours, or a random collection of seminars that are, at best, superficial?

How many times in the last few months has someone in your support group asked you, "When are you starting electrolysis (or hormones, or living full time)"?

How many support group have you come across or heard of where the TVs and the TSs are not only meeting separately, but exclude each other from their meetings?

How many people do you know who call themselves transgenderists, but in fact are nothing more than people who crossdress on a regular, sometimes daily basis, (except for work, darling, except for work)?

And how many articles, I mean good, serious articles, have you read lately that concern TVs, and their problems and concerns?

If your answer to the above questions are anything like mine, then you should be concerned about our dying breed. How has this sorry state of affairs come about? I have some theories and would like to share them with you.

First and foremost is the idea that is very popular in our community, one that is over used. That idea is the transvestite - transsexual continuum. lt is articulated in many ways, but the meaning and effect is the same. It works on the basic premise that, at one end of the spectrum, you have the fetishistic TV, a person interested in crossdressing for sexual arousal. Now since the word fetish has a negative connotation (it's one of those pervert words) none of us would even imagine going about saying, "Hi, I'm Chatty Cathy. I'm a fetishistic TV." It might be true, but I've yet to hear that one. Since none of us wants to be a fetishistic TV, then we quickly move along the continuum to the next way station, the advanced crossdresser. This is a very slippery term, since what is "advanced" to one person may be very basic stuff to another. For our purpose, we'll just call an advanced TV a person who is working on creating or can assume a persona of the opposite gender. This person not only able to dress the role he or she can act it. Here, however, is another speed bump. You're still, biologically, a member of the opposite sex and the role you assume is part time. Therefore, in the eyes of some, you are not serious. If you were serious, popular logic goes, you would have the courage to go "ALL THE WAY."

Now for those of us who don't really want to go "ALL THE WAY," and don't want to be JUST a TV or CD all of their lives, there is an out. lt's called the transgender station. Here, you can do just about anything you want, short of surgery. You escape the stigma of being JUST a TV or without having all the hassles that TSs have to go through, like coming out on the job, surgery, telling mom and pop, etc. Being a transgenderist puts you up a notch on the old gender ladder and, oh, by the way, frees you from the stigma of that uncomfortable label, JUST a TV.

Finally, if you want to prove that you have the RIGHT STUFF, you can go "ALL THE WAY." That, my friends, is a sure fire way to prove that, A) you're serious, B) you're better because now you have all the parts, and C) you have what it takes to be a real woman, not just a pretend one.

By accepting thought patterns as those described above, we bring certain prejudice and male-oriented ideas of superiority and one-upmanship into the gender community. We, of all people, should be the most accepting, most understanding people in the world. Yet, far too many people running amuck in our community who not only feel they are superior because of their gender choice, but put down those who are not like them. The real damage comes when new people enter the community and see the low esteem that TVs are held in and resolve to follow the lead of those who are generating that attitude.

Another observation is a rather simple one. It is based on the fact that, compared to even ten years ago, it is extremely easy to get sexual reassignment surgery. More people are performing the surgery, the techniques are better, and the process for electing surgery and qualifying for has been standardized. But, the best deal of all is that our community has established a number of basic training camps for any person who has ever considered going the TS route. Yes, that's right, it's all there, lessons and real life war stories on what professionals expect to hear, what to do, how to act, etc., when preparing for surgery. All you have to do is attend just about any regional event these days and you will find a major part of the program is a TS track that provides future candidates everything they ever wanted to know about becoming a TS.

Imagine, however, the following scenario. You are attending your first event. You look at the program for the weekend. Under the TV/CD program (if there is one listed as a stand alone TV or CD program) you have the obligatory city tour and shopping expedition, followed by mass make-over and deportment classes, topped with the transcendental aspects of crossdressing in third world cultures. If you, like many of the girls at the event, have made it that far, chances are that wig puffing and shopping tours are not what you are after. Instead, you are after something that is not available from your local support group, which is why there are regional events. Now, across the page, in a well regimented and highly structured package, is the TS track. Part of that track may include issues and subjects such as electrolysis, hormones, and legal issues, that you are curious about. ln addition, some of the speakers are heavy hitters you always read about in community publications. So, rather than tromp around and do something that you can do any old time, like shopping, you decide to drop in and listen to the TS sessions.

For the person who is well adjusted and has come to terms with who and what he or she is, the above scenario is harmless. However, for the person who is just beginning his or her search, who has not yet created his or her identity and figured out where he or she stands, a well structured program, well delivered and offering a defined and obtainable goal, can be seductive. "After all," one may ask, "if I am enjoying dressing this much at this weekend affair or during the monthly support group meetings, wouldn't doing it all the time be better, more fun, neat? And, besides, the TS route offers a solution to my problems. No more concerns about being caught. No more worries about hurting family and loved ones.

One simple, clean break, an operation, and all problems are resolved." It is this seduction, this goal- oriented approach, more than anything, that results in what Dr. Richard Doctor refers to as secondary transsexualism. If you don't think people who have no business trotting down the TS trail aren't being seduced by the "glamour," of being a TS, then you need to listen to the people in your support group a little more closely.

The final observation is related to the one above. In a way it is connected. For those of us who were born and raised male, there is a mind set and pattern of thinking, resolving problems, and overcoming difficulties that is so ingrained that it is nearly impossible to identify. I am talking about the John Wayne syndrome. In John Wayne we have a strong, independent person who solves his problems through direct and immediate action. The Duke doesn't wait. He sees something is not right and he goes right in there, alone most of the time, and does something. Our society, even after the age of Aquarius, not only honors such man, but uses them as role models. When the Duke left Clint Eastwood sauntered on in. I belabor this point simply because there are many of us out there in Genderland who, despite our best efforts to create and live in the role of our gender of choice, have been unable to shed the John Wayne syndrome. You see it in the way meetings are conducted at local support groups. You see it at regional events. You read it in the literature that is now coming out urging that we band together and march, arms linked together, and demand that we be accepted by all of society. You feel it when people classify themselves as something better (I'm a TS, you're JUST a TV). It's out there. It's alive.

If you accept that premise, then the result is easy to imagine. If you are a TV, you're a TV for the rest of your life. There is no end to it, no final resolution, no progress once you've learned to "pass" in public. The family, legal, and security issues that faced you as a young TV will still be facing you in one form or another, when you're a not so young TV. The TS track, however, offers an alternative, one that has a well defined goal and one that allows the resolution of many of the transgendered problems. If one follows the TS track, one can achieve legality, resolution of family problems, and terminate, one way or the other, the fear about job security. Such direct action, with a viable end state, and one that is achievable, is a very attractive to the male mind. Again, I ask you to stop and think about how many people you have met recently who suffer from, for lack of a better term, tunnel vision and target fixation.

Okay, you may ask, so what? What can we do?

Glad you asked, First off, we as a community, individually and collectively, have to put an end to what amounts to TV bashing. We must stop creating the image and impression that there is a hierarchy or status ladder within the community. Anyone who dismisses a person simply because he or she is JUST a TV should not be tolerated. After all, whether we like it or not, just about everybody in this community started out as JUST a TV. It was only through help and understanding that some have made it their desired point along the continuum. Just as we have hoped and struggled for acceptance from others, so, to, we must accept others, regardless of who or what they are. (By the way, don't throw your intolerant person away. He or she is, after all, one of us, a brother or a sister we need to hold so dear. Instead, love him or her to pieces while helping him or her to learn to open his or her heart and accept others for what they are, as they are.)

A more concrete approach would be to understand that there are many shades and hues of crossdressers. A person who places himself or herself on a TS track has a fairly well defined pattern and plan. TVs at this time, do not. Consider, if you will, the fact that in the same category, TV/CD, you have people who are happy simply wearing one or two articles of clothing appropriate to the opposite sex while at the other extreme, you have people who are living almost full time as members of the opposite sex and being accepted as such. Both these extremes, and everything in between, are TVs. How do we handle this? Good question, and one which I would like to discuss in another article. But, for now let's just say, there is a great diversity and no one person is any better or less a person because of where they are along the continuum. We all need acceptance, help, and friendship. Let us accept everyone and provide the assistance appropriate to the individual.

Finally, those who are involved in planning, organizing, and carrying out regional events need to understand that TVs do have serious concerns and interests, concerns and interests that are quite varied and deep. We, as a community, need to understand those concerns and offer structured programs and workshops during regional events that provide the TV forum in which to begin to resolve his or her problems. This is not that difficult once it is accepted that TVs are different and do have serious concerns. Before, I mentioned TS tracks, and dealt with them in what could be considered negative terms. I have nothing against these programs, and do not want to see them go away or be reduced. They are needed. What I would love to see is the people who are responsible for planning and coordinating TV/CD tracks to put the same care and thought into those tracks that a person like Chris Young puts into her TS track. Bringing the TV/CD track up to the standards set by the TS track in both content, relevance, and presentation is necessary.

If I have offended some of you with what I have said, then I am sorry. That was not my intent. If, however, I got some of you to think, then I have succeeded. Chris Young, Director for IFGE, who runs perhaps the best and most balanced TS program at regional events, uses the analogy of a train trip in describing our journey to self discovery. There are, according to her analogy, stations along the way at which we should get off and look around. Such stations include the fetish TV station, the advanced TV station, the transgender station, the pre-op TS station, the surgery station, the post-op station, and the new woman station. Her advice, to all who listen, is to stop at each station and take time to look around and learn all there is at each stop. And if that person finds that he or she is comfortable at a particular station, that they really feel that this is where they belong, then they shouldn't get back on the train. Though it still hints of the continuum, it is a wonderful way of looking at our journey and beautiful advice that I wish more people would listen to.

After years of struggle, both within the gender community and within our society, we are beginning to see the light of day. It is no longer a life- threatening adventure to go out dressed. It is no longer an all or nothing-at-all when one considers the gender issue. Society is becoming more accepting, or should I say, tolerant of the transgender community and we, collectively and individually, are becoming more and more comfortable with moving out of the dimly lit gay bars and into the daylight of mainstream society. this is progress, but progress that we must make together.

Let's face it, we are not all created equal. There is no stereotype, no perfect model of the transgendered person. Each of us is different, each of us is important. For some, the solution to our gender identity is surgical. For most, it is not. Accept that. Be willing to accept that in yourself and in others. With that acceptance, take pride in who you are. and while you are doing so, accept your brother and sister and help them to the best, most complete, and happiest person that her or she can be, regardless of the label, regardless of goals. It is, after all, only proper and fitting that we do so. For the most feminine of qualities is that of nurturing. A perfect mother loves her child, regardless of what he or she looks like, or what he or she becomes. For those of us who are striving to find a female voice, let us take pride in what we are, and help nurture our sisters and brothers so that they can take pride in who and what they are.

It is, after all, only right and fitting that we do so.

(Nancy Cole joined Tri-Ess back in 1981. She has been active with The Tiffany Club, Kansas City Crossdressers, St. Louis Gender Foundation and IFGE. She helped found the Mid-American Gender Group Information Exchange (MAGGIE). She is a frequent contributor to TV/TS Tapestry and is one of a dying breed)

Transgenderism - it's in the movies, on TV and on the minds of America's academe. B. Ruby Rich looks at the future of masculine and feminine.

The cold war came decisively to a close in 1991, as once solid borders dissolved. But another line of demarcation came under pretty intense pressure this year: the biological cold war between masculine and feminine. Challenging that presumably natural division are the gender benders - the transvestite, the crossdresser, the transsexual and, most recently, the "transgenderist."

The alert observer could have spotted the trend at the beginning of the year by going to the movies. In February, The Silence of the Lambs celebrated Valentine's Day by introducing audiences to Buffalo Bill, a psycho dressmaker, rejected by a sex change clinic, who skins women to make a real life bodysuit for himself. The movie became Jonathan Demme's biggest grossing film.

Then, a potentially obscure documentary called Paris Is Burning shot from cult status to nationwide release. The film took audience into the subculture of young black and Latino gays - male by birth, female by transformation - who've updated drag to full gender defiance, assuming identities that nature or class has denied them (woman, businessman, flight attendant) through staging intricate competitive balls.

Both films sparked controversy. The Silence of the Lambs provoked some gay men to cry homophobia, seeing in the Buffalo Bill characterization a lineage back to Hitchcock's Psycho, and damning Demme for pathologizing homosexuality. Paris Is Burning elicited complaints from the black community, with critic Bell Hooks accusing director Jennie Livingston of using black figures yet again to entertain whites. Nevertheless, both movies drew over the top raves from mainstream critics - and record breaking attendance, too.

All year the trend materialized on screen. Whoopi Goldberg offered the use of her body to Patrick Swayze's yuppie ghost and got an Oscar as her reward. South African born actor Zakes Mokae did a star turn in Rage in Harlem as Big Kathy, female impersonator extraordinaire. And this fall's Margaret Mead Film Festival, an annual showcase for anthropological cinema, featured yet another documentary on sexual conversion: Eunuchs - India's Third Gender.

There was even a cross dressing cameo on television thanks to the evil Catherine's fake Japanese businessman on Twin Peaks.

And, of course, Madonna brought her dancing boys in Gaultier bustiers to the big screen in Truth or Dare. The trend finally hit advertising last summer in the high profile American Express campaign. John Cleese, card holder since 1971, looked every inch the dowager in his red dress, clutching a pair of lap dogs to his bosom.

This month comes Vested Interests: Cross Dressing and Cultural Anxiety by Harvard English professor Marjorie Garber, and the phenomenon receives its academic imprimatur. Garber believes that transvestism warrants study, not only for what it tells us about the people who cross dress but for what it reveals about ourselves.

She's out to unsettle established notions of masculine and feminine. On the very first page, she discloses that pink and blue, the most established markers for baby identification, not so long ago signified the opposite (until World War I, pink was considered a "stronger" color that suited boys, and blue a more "delicate" color).

While Vested Interests sometimes reads like a Ripley's Believe It or Not of gender variations through the ages, Garber has done her archeology in service of a theory. She takes transvestism to the ultimate metaphor for our society, the barometer of the culture's self image, symptom of its unconscious. For Garber, the transvestite (or "TV") shatters the world as we know it, suggesting the impossibility of fixing anyone as truly masculine or feminine. In her utopian vision, the TV stands as no less than a harbinger of a new more fluid gender system.

Garber is not alone in her theories or research. Over the past few years, unbeknownst to those of us on the outside, crossdressing and transsexuality have become surprisingly popular subjects in academia. Mary Russo, professor of Literature and Critical Theory at Hampshire College, says the interest originated in renaissance studies departments, and was intensified by hybrid disciplines, like cultural studies, that embraced the transvestite as a perfect meeting ground for new prospectives.

In fact, once "women's studies" began to give way to "gender studies," it was only a matter of time before the gender bender become an object of analysis. As one of the players in this new field, Russo admits there may be another reason for preoccupation with the subject: "it's fun." And Camille Paglia, associate professor of Humanities at Philadelphia University, who's currently enjoying considerable notoriety for her controversial views on sexuality and education, claims she's glad she never heard of transsexual surgery when she was a kid.

Given her split gender loyalties, she told me, "I would have thought, 'I'm a man !' And I have to change my body to become a man!' God knows what would have done." Princeton's Diana Fuss, assistant professor of English and author of Essentially Speaking, reports that panels on crossdressing have popped up everywhere from Modern Language Association and Lesbian and Gay Studies Meetings to this year's conference of the International Association of Philosophy and Literature in Montreal (where there were also seminars on sex change and female impersonation).

Scholars such as Judith Butler at Johns Hopkins, Eve Kosofsky at Duke and Donna Holoway at the University of California Santa Cruz are working on unsettling our views of "human nature." Whether investigating man or beast, cyborg or drag queen, they maintain that gender itself is merely a performance, an impersonation, a masquerade.

Certainly, the focus on transvestism has a lot to do with postmodernism, which sees this particular moment in U.S. society as a time of fragments, pastiche, quotation, bricolage. A patching together of influences and inspirations, postmodernism recognizes there is no longer one wholeness in contemporary life, nor any fixity to its values. The movement has given us lots of wonderful architecture and not so wonderful literary criticism. And now, as Garber, Russo, and Fuss would probably agree, it's given us the transvestite as the ultimate example of what gender has come to: an irreducible mix of the masculine and the feminine.

We know, from reading magazines like this one, that being a "woman" can be hard work, requiring the acquisition of many specific skills, hours spent studying styles of dress and comportment. Lynne Carter, the female impersonator to whom Josephine Baker bequeathed her gown, once said that "women always wear a mask. It's made of cosmetics and fashion. Women consider it a masculine trait to be yourself. But they end up being caricatures of themselves, which makes them easy to mimic."

Not so fast Lynne. A quick perusal of GQ or Sports Illustrated proves that manliness doesn't come quite naturally either. Body language has to be learned, as anyone who's ever watched a two year or old boy struggle to walk like daddy can attest. But recently, dozens of newsletters have sprung up to help men make a smooth transition into femininity. Apparently there's an endless anxiety surrounding what makes for a "real" women, whether one has been born s woman or made into one.

The transvestite protagonist of the Broadway hit M. Butterfly once declared, "Only a man knows how a woman is supposed to act." But not without studying how. Garber has fun comparing women's fashion magazines to publications like the Renaissance News and Tapestry. Gender pioneers consult these cross dressing journals for tips on how to dress, as well as for scientific updates ("We All Began as Female Fetuses"), reassurance ("God loves Me Just The Way I Am") and confessionals (an editorial addressing a transsexual's fears on the eve of surgery). From Colorado's Gender Identity Center newsletter comes a sense of how transformation might feel: "The gentle, erotic, click-click sound of my high heels on the sidewalk was music to my ears. At last I was free of the bonds of maleness."

According to psychologist Leonore Tiefer these publications also include cautionary tales of post-op regret. Her job as codirector of the Gender Disorders Clinic of New York's Montefiors Hospital is to minimize that regret. Tiefer counsels and evaluates people with "sex reassignment" ambitions. After sorting out, variables like who they want to be and with whom they want to sleep, some of her clients redefine their sexuality, accepting the discrepancy between their gender desires and their anatomy; others go on to align the two on the physical plane, through hormone treatments or surgery.

In all the talk about transvestism and transsexualism, there's little acknowledgement that even the world of gender bending is male dominated - it's just that here men rule in the guise of women. The vast majority of Tiefer's consultations are with men who want to be reassigned as women. Why? It may be that a traditional male/female split is at work here; women will talk about their problems, get therapy, make adjustments; men prefer faster, simpler, physical solutions - a ball game, a drink, an operation.

Another possible explanation is that some men find no way to be kinder, gentler beings ("calmer" and "not angry" are common descriptions of their gal personae) besides turning themselves into women. (Is this what the world has come to? Robert Bly, hurry up.) Or maybe feminism has so expanded women's role-playing possibilities that surgical solutions are unnecessary (women already can wear pants without calling it drag).

Or maybe it's the reverse, maybe feminism has changed women so much that the only way men can get the kind of woman they want is by literally becoming her.

And what about sexual identity? By now, we know that people who crossdress are not necessarily gay, although obviously plenty of gay men and a few lesbians do enjoy drag. For a long time, the gay liberation view was that the quest for surgery was a desperate attempt by selfdenying homosexuals to line up their bodies with their objects of desire, going so far as to change their sex to obey the demands of heterosexuality. But studies no longer support that view in more than a small number of cases, and gay sponsored discussion groups for transgenderists are beginning to emerge.

For the first time, the American Psychiatric Association, in its latest DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), officially recognized a "gender identity disorder of adolescents or adulthood, nontranssexual type," and gave it a name of its own - "gidaant."

And Tiefer notes that Holland recently became the first country to boast a Professor of transsexology on a university faculty. Nevertheless, Tiefer worries about the manner in which the "transgenderist" is being taken up in academe: "Picking on these people to represent gender fluidity just seems wrong. They have no interest in avant-garde gender fashions," she says. "They're just trying to get from the kitchen to the laundry room and figure out what they should be wearing on the way."

What to wear indeed? The question raises the issue of how gender-bending has fashioned itself through the ages. The transvestite is hardly a new character on the global horizon. Of all Garber's research trophies, perhaps none fascinates as totally as the story of the Chevalier d'Eon de Beaumont, born in France in 1728, who was posted to London as a foreign minister but recalled when the "ignorance of his sex" precipitated a scandal.

The tumult over the true nature of d'Eon, who dressed alternately as a man and as a woman, became so heated that the London Stock Exchange took bets on her/his gender. Finally, Louis XVI ruled that Charles Genevieve Louise Auguste Andree Timothee d'Eon de Beaumont must be henceforth considered female. Alas, upon d'Eon's death, a medical examiner determined that the body was that of a man. In sum, d'Eon had lived forty nine years of his life as a man and thirty four years as a woman. For years, crossdressing was named "eonism" in his honor.

In more recent, liberated times like the 1960s and 1970s, playing with gender took the form of a move toward androgyny, conflating the genders. Men and women patronized unisex clothing shops and hair salons: no big deal, no need for surgery, just go with the flow. What was transgressive was stretching the boundaries of gender, expanding the range of behavior, confusing the eye. But times have changed.

In sexually conservative or repressive epochs like the 1980s and 1990s, gender bending takes a different turn: it transgresses by putting gender back into little boxes labeled masculine and feminine, then switching between them.

Cross dressing, transvestism, transsexualism all depend on fixed notions of what a "man" and a "woman" mean. No unisex, please. The Gap may sell the same clothing to men and women, but they presume the clothing will look utterly different on these two sets of gendered bodies. Naturally, this being the era of aerobics and plastic surgery, organ transplants and Nauticalized physiques, it's to expected that gender transgressions can take quite literal forms.

The most drastic kind of gender bending (achieved supernaturally rather than surgically) was the subject of the latest entrant in Hollywood's sex change sweepstakes. Like its predecessors - Tootsie, All of Me and Victor/Uictoria - Switch deals with the viewer's anxiety by playing the transformation for laughs. Ellen Barkin is Amanda, the woman whose body Steve Brooks, prize cad, has been reincarnated. Amazing what a difference a decade makes!

Back in 1982, Tootsie and Victor/Victoria filled their scripts with statements about liberation and feminist allegiances. Switch, however, turns back the clock. It deserved to bomb at the box office (despite Barkin's great performance) for its hopelessly outdated gender values: real women wear impossibly high heels, real men drink in blue collar bars and screw as many women as possible. The family is reasserted at any cost: Steve as Amanda ends up sleeping with his old buddy, marrying him, giving birth to a daughter and, in a final moment better than anything that came before, resting under a tombstone that names both genders lying beneath.

If Switch was a disappointment, the George Sand biopic Impromptu was a bit better. Judy Davis looked gorgeous in her suits, but the movie didn't seem to have a clue as to why she was wearing them.

The real satisfactions of 1991, for anyone interested in gender rearrangement, were found in Off Off Broadway theater. Belle Reprieve was a restaging of A Streetcar Named Desire, performed by the Bloolips and Split Britches actors, half of them switching genders for their roles, all in the service of slitting open the Play's presentations of gender. Even The New York Times raved this fall about the British adaptation of Sarrasine. Balzac's tale of a man who falls for La Zambinella, a charismatic opera singer with a golden voice, who, of course, turns out to be a eunuch. (lt's useful to remember Garber's notation that, in eighteenth century Italy, 7O percent of all opera singers were castrati.) In resent years drag has moved offstage and onto the streets of New York, with "Wigstock," for example, the annual extravaganza of gender impersonation.

No need to give up on the movies, though. Hollywood is now preparing what may be the definitive gender bending statement for the nineties. Hook, Steven Spielberg's version of the Peter Pan tale, opens this month. Somebody should commission Garber to review the film. In her book, she asks and answers the perennial question: "Why is Peter Pan usually Played by a woman? Because a woman will never grow up to be a man."

By the way of further explanation, Garber unearths the shards of author James Barrie's life: he was haunted, she tells us, by the early death of his brother David, their mother's favorite, whom James could never equal: "When I became a man.... he was still a boy of thirteen." Barrie longed forever for a childhood that never was. He tried to fill a void by creating Never Neverland, and surrounded himself with, young boys.

In her unique reading of the play, Garber detects transvestism lurking beneath every surface. The pirates, for instance: she finds evidence that homosexual pirates weren't at all uncommon, that some even looted dresses for costume promenades in island hideaways. The figure of Hook? Garber traces its origins back to Christmas Pantomime pageants: a thinly veiled PantoDame, Hook turns out to be a crossdressed hag (at the same time, though, his "iron claw" signals castration).

Garber notices that Hook is always chasing Peter, and she has predictable fun with the eternal youth's name. In Spielberg's movie, Robin Williams (who has already led a band of lost boys in The Dead Poets Society) plays Peter Pan and Glenn Close (who already crossdressed onstage in The Singular Life of Albert Hobbs) appears as a male pirate. But it's a shame that Spielberg didn't cast the person Garber identifies as the consummate incarnation of Peter Pan - Michael Jackson (who, appropriately calls his ranch "Neverland").

Crossdressing knows no racial boundaries. From Flip Wilson's Geraldine to John Leguizamo's Manny the Fanny to the men in some of the villages of Mexico who put on dresses for the Day of the Dead parades, Paris indeed is burning. Boundaries are now being crossed in every direction: gender, sex, race, class, nationality, age. Mary Russo predicts that the "smart money" in academia will ride on just such a conceptual expansion - with all fixed categories dissolving into masquerade.

Crossdressers have always been with us, and the only wonder is they're not more visible. Garber thinks she knows why. "This is the scandal of transvestism: (it) tells the truth about gender", It's a truth that may not be entirely welcome. Gender bending challenges long assumed roles; it ripples through individual identities like a Psychic earthquake. "Which is why," Garber adds, "we cannot look into the face."

( This article is reprinted from NEWS BRIEFS, the Sigma Nu Rho Chapter newsletter. The article as first published did not credit the author, I wish to thank the person(s) responsible for this article. Deb.)

THIS NEWSLETTER IS COPYRIGHT 1992 BY ALPHA OMEGA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ARTICLES AND INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS NEWSLETTER MAY BE REPRINTED BY OTHER NON-PROFIT CROSSDRESSER'S ORGANIZATIONS WITHOUT ADVANCE PERMISSION, PROVIDED A COPY OF THE ISSUE CONTAINING THE REPRINTED MATERIAL IS SENT TO ALPHA OMEGA WITHIN TWO MONTHS AFTER THE MATERIAL IS PUBLISHED AND PROPER CREDIT IS GIVEN TO AUTHOR AND SOURCE. THE OPINIONS OR STATEMENTS CONTAINED IN THIS NEWSLETTER ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHORS AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF ALPHA OMEGA.

CONTRIBUTIONS OF ARTICLES ARE WELCOMED, BUT MAY BE ALTERED IN THE EDITING PROCESS, WITH THE AUTHOR'S INTENT RETAINED, OR MAY BE REJECTED, WHETHER SOLICITED OR NOT. ABSOLUTELY NO SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL WILL BE ACCEPTED OR PRINTED.

ALPHA OMEGA IS A NON-PROFIT SUPPORT GROUP FOR HETEROSEXUAL CROSSDRESSERS. SPOUSES OR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGE TO PARTICIPATE. ALSO, MEMBERS FROM RELATED ORGANIZATIONS, HELPING PROFESSIONALS, AND APPROVED GUESTS ARE WELCOME WHEN CLEARED THROUGH ALPHA OMEGA'S OFFICERS.

MEETINGS ARE THE SECOND SATURDAY EVENING OF EACH MONTH UNLESS A SPECIAL EVENT IS SCHEDULED THAT TAKES THE PLACE OF THE REGULAR SCHEDULED MEETING. THE LOCATION OF THE MEETING OR EVENT(S) ARE ONLY RELEASED TO MEMBERS OR OTHERS WITH THE APPROVAL OF AN OFFICER.

WE WILL EXCHANGE NEWSLETTERS WITH ANY OTHER SIMILAR GROUP. FEEL FREE TO INCLUDE A DISK VERSION IN ASCII FORMAT IF POSSIBLE EITHER ON 5.25 OR 3.5 FLOPPY DISK. SEND ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: ALPHA OMEGA, P.O.BOX 954, ELYRIA, OHIO 44036