List of Officers:
President: Gloria Fenton
Vice President: Michelle Stuart
Sec/Treasurer: Sandy

Newsletter Staff:
Editor: Tanya
Editor/Publisher: Deborah

PRESIDENTS'S VIEW By Gloria
MICHELLE'S MUSINGS By Michelle Stuart
MEETING MINUTES
NOTES OF INTEREST
EDITORIAL
SPECIAL THANKS By Gloria Fenton
QUESTION OF THE MONTH
WHEELS AND WHAT IF'S By Deborah Lynnette Lee
A LETTER FROM GLORIA By Gloria Fenton
PROGRAM VIEWS By Elaine Lee
WIGS AND MENTAL WELLBEING By Pam F.
L.A. HATE IN A NEW YORK MINUTE by Deborah Lynnette Lee
LADYBUGS By Deborah Lee
HE'S STRONG, STRAIGHT, HANDSOME
TOXIC SHAME By Cynthia Howard

Alpha Omega was honored with the presence of Donna Marie at our May meeting. Donna Marie is the president of Sigma Nu Rho, our sister Tri Ess chapter in New Jersey. It was a wonderful experience to meet a sister who took of her time to travel almost 500 miles to share an evening with us and to see how our chapter does things. Donna Marie and I swapped a few "war stories" and I know everyone had a good time sharing thoughts and experiences with her.

For the last two months, our meetings have been blessed with the presence of members of other groups: Donna Marie, Diane from the Erie Sisters and Marilyn from TransPitt. Also, several of our members are planning to attend the May Erie Sisters meeting. I find this very encouraging as I feel it is important for the groups in our area to work together and share a unity of purpose.

In that vein, I recently spoke with Lynn Newkirk, president of the Paradise Club, about our joint August picnic. I will have more details ready for you at the June meeting.

As we proceed into the Summer months, there are always family get-togethers, vacations and other events which become part of our schedules. It is not unusual for meeting attendance to go down due to these factors but we hope to have exciting and fun programs and activities for our sisters to share this Summer. I also look forwarded to having some potential new members join us as the thermometer rises.

Lately it has seemed time is moving so quickly there is little available to do the many things we need or would like to do. We will be checking into other possible meeting places as we receive suggestions from members. The Outreach Committee will be working on getting the word out about our organization. Outside activities for those who can attend will be set. Little by little, we will make progress in many areas, helping keep Alpha Omega the best chapter it can be.

I may not be looking forward to the hot weather ahead but I AM looking forward to sharing the time ahead with my sisters. At the June meeting we will have a "card party", which should be a lot of fun. I hope to have information on a couple other events in the near future. So, until then, keep cool and we'll see you in June.

Sincerely, Gloria

Hello Girls,

Spring is here at last, thank goodness! I thought Winter would never end. The grass is green, the azaleas are blooming and the dogwoods have large white blossoms - Lovely!

At the time I am writing this, my Hummingbirds have not yet arrived but a couple House Wrens have made a nest in one of the hanging baskets on my back patio and have four new little ones! The parents have my congratulations on raising such cute little birds, but Geeze I wish they wouldn't poop all over my patio! Oh, what the heck. It's good for the azaleas though I'm glad I don't park my car back there!

By the time you read this, I'll have my marigolds put in and, of course, a new crop of "Transvesticus Botanicus" will be growing behind the condo. Yes, Yes, I will bring some in for our salads this Summer!

I hope this Summer will not be as hot as last year. Also, let's not have another dry one, as I had a healthy water bill from that nasty dry spell!

I know I'm going to have a rather expensive Summer as my heat pump is on its last legs and must be replaced soon. Also, a water pipe blew in my basement in early Spring due to an apparent freezing in the past. I'm not sure if it was something I did or not. In the two years since I moved in, I always made sure I drained the water out of the pipe before Winter. The only mistake I may have made was I would close the faucet outside after I drained the water. There is the possibility the valve in the basement may have a small leak where the water slowly refilled the pipe in the outside wall. With the cold, it would freeze and Bingo, a popped chestnut!

My suspicion is the past owners were negligent about draining the pipe properly and the damage was started years ago but didn't manifest itself until I became the new "lucky owner". Boy, was I ever surprised when I turned on the valve and heard water running, going somewhere other than the outside faucet! You can imagine the look on my face when it began running out the telephone outlet on the wall! Gee Whiz! Why is it always me?

At least this catastrophe occurred in the basement, not in Michelle's room. Imagine what might have happened to the dresses. I couldn't bear to find mildew on my favorite cocktail dress!

Enough on the trials and tribulations of home ownership. I recently told Gloria I was getting bored with my new Post Office box as there was never anything in it! I have yet to receive any letters from sisters wanting to correspond with a sister within our chapter. As you know, I'm chairwoman of the "Big Sister Program" for Alpha Omega. I would very much like to hear from you sisters who, for various reasons, cannot attend meetings often. PLEASE don't sit there, alone in your closet, struggling with yourself! We are here to help you. If you need to talk or communicate, drop me a letter. I would very much like to hear from you!

Send your letters to: Michelle Stuart, P.O. Box 33363, North Royalton, OH 44133. Remember, you are not alone!

It was a real pleasure to have a special guest who came all the way from New Jersey to attend our May meeting. That special lady was Donna Marie, president of Sigma Nu Rho in NJ. We are all flattered to have had you join us for the evening, Donna Marie! We wish for growth and prosperity for your chapter!

It was indeed an honor for one to come from so far to be with us. It would be nice if most of us could do something like Donna Marie did more often; travelling to other cities to attend meetings of other chapters. That way, Tri Ess would become closer to everyone.

One of the topics of discussion at the May meeting was the possibility of holding our annual Christmas dinner at "Behind the Woods" party center. "Behind the Woods" is a separate building behind the parent restaurant, "The Woods," which is located on Center Ridge Rd. near Westgate Mall.

Girls, this would be a great place to have a special dinner if we have enough people interested. I have been there in the past for a singles' function. The building has three floors and, I believe, it was an older house which was renovated with tasteful, cozy decoration. The service and the buffet was excellent. The thought of going there is indeed a great idea and the chapter voted to have Deborah Lee and Jennifer look into the possibility of having our Christmas dinner or a buffet dinner later this year there. I am really looking forward to it.

I have to apologize for leaving the May meeting early but my family hoped I might at least show my face at my cousin's surprise birthday party for his wife who hit "The Big Three Oh". I promised I'd try to catch some of the fun in the last hour or so of the gala.

My cousin went all-out, putting in a lot of work for the event. He rented a party room at a Harley Hotel for the 60-70 people who arrived for the grand buffet and entertainment, including dancing and karaoke. Geeze, it was like being at a wedding reception! The drinks were free, as was the food. My cousin did an excellent job organizing the evening. What a host! All had a great time.

My family was happy I made it as they really didn't expect me. I wonder what they would have thought if Michelle had walked into the party center instead of my maleself. That would have really made it a SURPRISE birthday party!

Oh well, I guess I'll say "Goodbye" for now.

Love, Michelle

The May 9th meeting was called to order by Gloria at 8:20 PM, 21 members and guests present. Gloria then introduced special guest Donna Marie, President of Sigma Nu Rho Chapter from New Jersey.

The Treasurer's Report was read and the "Question of the Month" was briefly discussed around the table.

A General Affairs Committee meeting was held prior to the regular meeting to discuss the matter of a husband and wife both holding office at the same time.

This matter was brought to the floor of the regular meeting and Deborah Lee moved to not allow husbands and wives to hold office at the same time. The motion was discussed and it was decided the Constitution Committee should reconvene to propose the matter as an amendment to the chapter constitution.

Also discussed was a proposed constitutional amendment concerning membership for Significant Others in the chapter. The proposal was they would be considered on an individual basis. The General Affairs Committee decided to allow Janet Jackson to become a member of the chapter.

Jennifer and Deborah Lee will approach the restaurant we have been discussing to try and set up a possible outing. Also discussed was Sandy's idea of a golf outing. She will report back at the next meeting with more information.

This evening's entertainment will be a discussion session lead by Meagan. Charlotte will arrange a card party for the June meeting with one grand prize for the winner.

A reminder from the Newsletter Committee that newsletter articles are due no later than the Saturday after the monthly meeting. Items received after then will be held till the next month.

Deborah Lee moved, seconded by Kathleen, to adjourn the meeting. Motion passed; 9:20 PM.

Respectfully submitted, Sandy C.

June Meeting

The June 13th meeting will be held at the Manor. Because the meeting, like last year, falls within the period of the "Be All That You Can Be" convention, it was decided to not have a formal speaker for the evening. Last year we did have a speaker for the June meeting. We also had the lowest attendance of the entire year due to the "Be All."

The evening's entertainment will be a card party, hostessed by Charlotte. Deb will have further details on the evening later in the newsletter.

Garden Party

Here it is, late May. It seems like only yesterday there was snow on the ground here where I live in Ohio's "Snow Belt". Truth be known, it WAS only a week or two ago that my furnace was still running on a regular basis. Now it's 85 every day and my water-logged lawn is beginning to take on the appearance of a hay field. I live in "low country" and must suffer this problem every Spring. By the time the grounds are sufficiently dry to not bury my tractor (a full-sized John Deere, not the "garden tractor" variety) that first mowing requires the use of a "brush hog" or sickle bar. Only then can I use the five foot finish mower to keep things in line.

And you suburbanites thought you had it tough! At least the 10,000 Xmas trees in the fields are looking good and the "wildlife plots" of corn and sorghum to feed the resident pheasants and deer will be planted this week.

I commented last month on how much it was going to kill me to miss the May meeting because of my job. What made it even worse the 9th was the fact that, during the actual time period the meeting was held, I was not at work but, rather, sitting at home. When I've missed meetings in the past because of work that's where I was, working - and work keeps one's mind off what she's missing. May 9th I worked dayshift, finishing up at 3 PM. I then spent the early evening at home thinking about all of you enjoying yourselves at the Manor. What kept me from being there with you was the fact I had to be up at 4:30 AM to get ready for work Sunday. Such is the price one must pay for being a high-paid (Cough!) public servant!

I wrote the above a week ago. What happened in the interim? I just heard the weather and they say it's going to be in the high 30's tonight! Gone are the shorts and tank top, replaced by sweatshirt and stirrup slacks. Even the furnace is kicking on occasionally! Welcome to Ohio. If you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes - it will change!

Two days ago, an incident occurred which focused my attention on the concept of intolerance. We all know about it because we are the undeserving victims of it every day. It is the glue which seals the doors of our closets and keeps them shut.

The incident of intolerance I am speaking of was directed towards me. However, it did not come from the outside world, it came from a SISTER and her wife! I had written this lady a long letter of introduction expounding on our need to direct all our energies toward integrating our feminine and masculine components into one whole Being rather than wasting energy attempting to hide and/or destroy our feminine side. Included in the letter of introduction was a short paragraph telling of my masculine hobbies. (Reading on military history, building black powder rifles, Scottish activities, Soviet/US relations, classical music, etc.)

Two days ago, I received her response. To my amazement, she ignored everything I had said in three typed pages concerning dealing with the turmoil crossdressers suffer and focused exclusively on the four typed lines concerning my masculine interests. The gist of her letter was that, because of my hobbies, I obviously have no feminine component and should not be writing to sisters. The wife, in her letter included with the husband's, was more to the point. She called me a "gorilla", "war monger" and "killer", among other things.

I have just written another long letter back to them, the "bottom line" of which is "Don't condemn someone till you know them." I asked them to look beyond their prejudices. We will see what their response is.

Intolerance. As crossdressers we suffer it every day. And yet, to paraphrase the Biblical tenet, "She who is without sin may cast the first stone." Even though you are the victim of intolerance, can you say you've never shown intolerance of another? I can't. Can you honestly say you've never used the words "Nigger", "Kike", "Slope", "Fag" or a host of other derogatory terms in the past year? I know I've used at least one of them.

Here I sit having just written a letter to someone asking them to not condemn me till they know me and to look past their prejudices. Conversely, I have in the recent past spoken of another in derogatory terms, terms I cannot say they deserve because I didn't know them and I could not look past MY prejudices.

The intolerance we suffer as crossdressers is so all- encompassing we tend to become immune to it. We accept it as one of the crosses we must bear. The other day, however, it wasn't my feminine side which slammed against the brick wall of intolerance but, rather, my masculine side something I'm not so immune to or accepting of.

When I step back and look, however, it is very possible this sister and her wife did me a favor. They have reminded me that I certainly do not have the right to "cast the first stone". How can I, or any of us, honestly expect to put an end to the intolerance we suffer if we cannot put an end to the intolerance we show towards others.

I have been forcefully reminded of my own failings. I can only pray I will do everything within my power to remedy them. I also hope my writing on this makes you stop to think for a second. Have you been intolerant of another recently? What can you do to remedy it and insure it never happens again?

Love, Tanya

Alpha Omega was very honored to have Donna Marie as a guest at our May meeting. I would like to extend my dearest thanks to her for sharing her time and friendship with us. I would also like to thank Jennifer for serving as hostess to Donna Marie during her stay in Cleveland.

Megan and Cheryl provided us with a thought-provoking program about the differences in the way males and females use language to express themselves. I was far from alone in finding the topic very insightful!

At the May meeting we enjoyed the fruits of the membership's dedication to the chapter. Our new television and VCR made their debut, allowing members to view one of the many videos on our paraculture we have in our library. Thank You to everyone for making this possible.

I would also like to thank the General Affairs Committee for its commitment to handle club business, reducing the burden on the general membership. This committee is a real help to the officers and is an important part of the chapter.

For all the diet-conscious, a special Thank You goes to Pam (Key Lime pie), Kristen & Joanne (a HUGE cake) and Debbie & Elaine (another HUGE cake). Your wonderful deserts guaranteed Anorexia will never be one of our problems!

Elaine displayed her selection of Avon jewelry and order forms were available for the pantyhose discounts Sandy spoke on a couple months ago. These ladies' willingness to help us "pseudo-ladies" is greatly appreciated.

As always, a special Thank You to everyone who attended the May meeting and helped to make it a wonderful time.

Respectfully, Gloria

What was the first thing (incident) that made you realize that you were interested in women's (girl's) clothing?

Its been a long time since I sat at the keyboard to pound out my heartfelt (maybe headfelt) feelings instead of typing or scanning in another's newsletter article. So I hope you enjoy the following treatise on why we are what we are.

I know for some of us, the "why" of what we are, crossdressers, is not of any significance. However, there are a few of us who can't leave well enough alone. I am guilty of being inquisitive, analytical, scientific (?) and a time-and-space traveler on this mud ball called Earth. My investigations into my beliefs have led me here and there, sometimes successfully and sometimes by the nose into ruin. I would like to share one of those investigations. I will let you read it and think what you want.

I lived for a number of years (5 1/2 or so...) in an ashram under the careful guidance of an Eastern Indian master of the discipline of Raja Yoga (Kingly Union). Under the auspices of my guru, I learned and experienced many things. Hours, days, years of self examination, prayer and meditations allowed me to experience some of the insights given through such a discipline. (I am quite undisciplined now.) After leaving the ashram some 14 years ago, I have had time to reflect on some of those lessons and experiences. Again, I must warn you I am not expounding religion here. I am about to discuss a philosophy and a possible explanation for us esoterics of the crossdressing culture.

In Yoga philosophy, the concept of soul (spirit) is one of unity as with many religions (the concept of Creator, Father, God). There is one and only one soul and this soul is primal, as we so rightly put it in our chapter name, Alpha and Omega, and is one without a second. With me so far? We think ourselves separate from this primal soul due to our failed understanding that we were created from this primal soul. (There was nothing else to be created from.) This thinking leads to some curious reasoning for the way things are, especially with us.

In this philosophy, there is a phenomenon called karma. Karma can be thought as Newton's 1st law of physics (I hope I'm quoting the correct law) - for every action there is a equal and opposite reaction (i.e. you reap what you sow). Karma is described as a wheel. If you are at the center of the wheel (enlightened person) you see all that goes on around you yet you are not moved. If, however, you are on the rim of the wheel, you don't seem to move when you look to the center but look outward and woooh! An uncentered person is one who is living on the rim and thinks themself as unique. This perception leads to the "wheel effect". The wheel analogy starts when a person thinks they're unique. They then form attitudes about themselves and their surroundings. These attitudes cause the person to do something, something as simple as thinking. This thinking sometimes leads to an action. The senses step in to analyze and interpret the new set of circumstances, feelings and experiences, leading to new attitudes.

Now for an example: A child is told by their parent to stay away from fire because it will harm them. The child is inquisitive and remembers the instruction to stay away from the cookies because they are no good for them. I am going to play out the child's mind now. "Well those cookies sure did taste good, (How soon we forget the tummy ache!) so maybe this over thirty-something person is feeding me a line about fire." See, the past action left impressions and the impressions formed an attitude. Guess what comes next? The child does the only thing a "Doubting Thomas" can do, they get burnt. Hey some more sensory experiences, new impressions, new attitude, as the baby on the TV show Dinosaurs says "Again! Again!"

Let's go on to a grander scale and instead of a momentary instance with the grossness of sensory impressions, we go on the subtle plane of subconscious impressions. Now I'm going to lay "the big one" on you. This may cause some distress and I don't mean to make you uncomfortable but I am not expounding a belief. I'm only saying "What if?". What if there were reincarnation? Now the analogy.

You are a woman in a past lifetime and in that lifetime you discover through your intuition, perceptions, feelings, sensory input, nurturing, caring and unconditional love that center - that eternal peace which envelops you and you are suddenly without care. Wouldn't you long for that experience again? I would. You find you're in touch with yourself and that this self is centered and capable of extraordinary things. The time comes to leave that experience and enter a new lifetime but this one, unlike the past, is hampered and restrained due to the fact you are a male. Those gifts which put you previously in touch with yourself are stripped from you. You are taught to be callous, to ignore the still small voice within. Your intuition is set aside and traded for a manly experience. However, as you are guided through the hallowed halls of manhood a mechanism, a safeguard, starts to fail. The mechanism is supposed to prevent you from remembering those past lives so that you can function in the present and not simply waste away your life yearning for something seemingly dead and gone.

Perhaps this return to a better day and those impressions and the freedom to be intimate with our most inner peaceful being brought us back so that it isn't lost in the mayhem of maleness. To get closer to that experience, we act out that form which we remembered and adored.

In yoga philosophy, though, this remembrance brought us closer to our true nature. It is not a end in itself since the impressions of a previous life are creating an action in this life which again creates more problems for the future. We are not getting to the center if we remain in the wheel of action and reaction. Ultimately we will remain unhappy.

This may sound like malarkey, a dime store novel or a science fiction work ready to be aired on "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" but I felt like writing about it. I hope it humored you, agitated you or whatever. At least it filled up some of this newsletter.

With love, your sister, Deborah Lee

For those of you who enjoy horror films, the next few months may just be your "cup of tea." For others, like myself, the next few months are a scary experience. To clarify, I'll set the scene of a most frightful dilemma:

It's a hot Summer day (for me, anything over 60 degrees is too hot). The humidity is so high it's like trying to breathe underwater. If there's a breeze, it's more like a blast furnace than something cool and enjoyable. We open with Gloria deciding she needs a little time to be around.

The closet door is opened and hard decisions must be made. Anything long-sleeved is out, as are sweaters and slacks. One must try and dress coolly but most everything I own would be far from comfortable in the heat. I choose a white tank top and coulotte skirt.

Of course, in order to wear such things, the hands, arms, upper chest and legs must be shaved! Using an electric razor is out as I'm sweating (excuse me perspiring) profusely. Depilatories are also out - they are smelly and can burn.

I dig out the old "Atra" and shave cream. The process is long, involved and messy. Little-by-little, the hair is removed while at least two hours have passed, and I still must shave my face.

In hot weather, my face is extremely sensitive and usually a bit sunburned. A very close shave under those conditions leaves me with very tender skin and, naturally, a few places for the old styptic pencil to burn like crazy. Somehow I still convince myself all this torture is worth it.

I take a cool shower for a few minutes reprieve and dry myself off. But before I can even open the medicine cabinet for the "Secret," the old sweat glands are busy at work.

I go to the bedroom where everything is laid out for the transformation. As soon as they're put on, my undies stick to me as if attached with superglue. Then comes that fiendish torture called pantyhose. My legs are so pale that, without pantyhose, they would look like stakes from a white picket fence. I normally love the feel of stockings on my legs. Today, however, if they weren't absolutely necessary for a proper appearance, they wouldn't even get out of the package.

Next comes the tank-top, skirt and, believe it or not, I opt for a pair of flats today. I'm so weak from the heat, I don't think I could even stand in a pair of heels!

I proceed back to the bathroom for makeup. On goes the beard cover, the foundation and all the other creams and powders needed to create the perfect look. I brush my hair back out of the way and brush out the old blonde tresses of my "crowning glory." On goes the wig and it receives the final primping to make it look perfect - or at least close.

Let's see. Next the earrings, necklace, bracelet and, last of all, the lipstick to give your lips that ultimate coloring. Well, it's taken a long time but at least I'm ready!

There is no air conditioning in my house but I have all the fans going to help move a little air. I proceed to the kitchen to get a nice, cool drink. Then I remember I have forgotten one very important thing to do. I forgot to check my total appearance in the full-length mirror in the bedroom. Many women might not consider this important but, for most of us, doing our best to create a proper look is paramount.

Feeling confident, I head for the bedroom, take a deep breath and step in front of the mirror. Suddenly the air is filled with screams of terror and fright. Then I realize it's not Freddy Kreuger in drag staring at me but my own reflection! My wig is a nest of snarls, looking as if it hadn't been brushed in years. My top and skirt damply cling as if I'm ready for a "wet T-shirt contest" and are wrinkled beyond belief. My pantyhose are sagging and I realize my feet are burning up in the shoes.

Worst of all, though, is seeing my face melt before my eyes. My makeup has become runny globs sliding down my cheeks. My mascara has smeared to make me look like I have two black eyes. Even the delightful perfume I put on just moments before now makes me wonder what smells so bad!

It's times like this one truly appreciates what women go through to look good in weather this hot. My heart goes out to them.

Crestfallen, and with my feminine illusion shattered, I try to repair the damages. There's no way I'll give up so I make compromises: Off comes the makeup, wig and pantyhose. The stained tank top and wrinkled skirt are history. The bra that was cutting me like barbed wire must also go. The necklace and bracelet are returned to the jewelry box. Out of the dresser comes a very loose-fitting tank top and a pair of shorts.

And so with no makeup, a loose top, panties, shorts, no wig and no shoes, I say "To heck with glamour." (I do, however, give in to my one weakness, earrings) and go for comfort. Once again an illusion is created - this time in the mind. I go through the house and cover every mirror. No more scares for me!

For all those who love hot weather and "fun in the sun," more power to you. Give this girl 60 degrees, tops. I realize I will be suffering these next few months but I have learned one important lesson. Even though I try to look as good as I can (which isn't easy), I know it really isn't the clothes and makeup that makes me who I am. They do help create the look or illusion of femininity but there is a mental illusion which comes from the femininity within us. When it comes to who I am, the clothes and makeup don't make the difference.

I really do enjoy the pretty clothes, the makeup, the wig and jewelry, but being Gloria is more than all the fluff. It is the way I feel in my mind and heart. That's what is important.

So hot weather, do your thing. I will keep in mind that cooler weather is only a few months away.

All my love, Gloria

After our business meeting, Meagn lead a discussion session. She began by having us write five words describing Jennifer. The words that several persons wrote were then read aloud. We discussed words that are normally chosen by females to describe someone and the words that males choose. After that discussion, we had the opportunity to force ourselves to think in terms of the other gender rather than our own and describe Charlotte. Again several people read their new choice of words and we examined the contents of their choices.

The next test of our understanding of the use of male and female adjectives involved Megan reading several personal ads from CLEVELAND MAGAZINE. We had to tell her if a male looking for a female wrote the ad or vice versa. Here are a few I found. See if you can tell who wrote the ad.

1) Attractive, physically active, self-actualizing professional, 37, seeking a similar person who values their independence but is not fearful of interdependence, for serious play and playfully serious.

2) Attractive, tall, intelligent, warm, single white person, 27, seeks a sincere 25-37 person with like qualities, and a sense of humor.

3) Attractive, sensitive white person, 34, nonsmoker. Emotionally, financially secure. Enjoys sharing one-on-one conversations, flying own plane. Desires single, cute white person who enjoys being casual, 28-38 sensitive, caring, down to earth. Family orientated.

4) Feisty fiftyish fun-loving 180 degree person with a sense of adventure, seeking you if you are 50-60, have style, integrity, sense of humor, etc.

5) Tall professional person, attractive, trim, ethical, religious, white 39, seeks sincere person for possible permanent relationship.

6) Attractive, physically fit, romantic divorced white person seeks outgoing person, 25-35, for picnics, Browns games, dancing, long walks.

7) Attractive blonde professional person, age 32, divorced with small children seeks professional black or white who enjoys family life as well as romantic nights out. I am a nonsmoker, social drinker and love professional sports.

8) Captivating blonde, expressive green eyes, 5'-8", youthful 40's, no defendants, Professional, loves old movies, hates to cook. Wishes to cultivate relationship with humorously romantic person, tall, trim, neat, good teeth, nonsmoker, enjoys dancing, sharing diverse interests.

9) Single white person, 30's, sharp, fit 6', brown/brown, monogamous, successful, outgoing, wishes to meet right person 20's/30's for genuine relationship.

10) Tall, successful, intelligent white business person, 32, fit, no children. Likes animals, European travel, quiet nights. Wants to meet romantic, considerate person, 27-45.

11) Warm and witty degreed white person, late 30's, attractive, fit, intelligent and upbeat. Enjoys dancing, boating, friends, music, movies. Seeks an affectionate non-smoker, 35-45, for sharing, caring and fun.

12) Tall, attractive laid-back white person, 35, enjoys sports, travel, dining out, theater, swimming and golf, seeks sincere attractive, white person looking for friendship and romance.

Golly here I am again! Y'all let me know if you get tired of hearing this nonsense will you? Please somebody!

It's February and I'm visiting with Charlotte. She is feeling a little blue because of personal problems. Me, I'm trying to cheer her up, lending a well chewed on ear. Mind you, I don't object as she and I are kindred spirits plus she is one of my Alpha Omega sisters and I would "be there" for any one of them. Well, being there for her to talk to this day was OK but she needed a little more than an ear to absorb her concerns and frustrations. What do you gals do when you're down in the dumps? YOU GO SHOPPING or GET YOUR HAIR DONE right? Guess what we did? Both! We went shopping for wigs.

Being a crossdresser, transvestite, bi-gendered or what ever, we all want to look like a lady. Hair is an important piece of the puzzle we want to put together, so off to Rolling Acres Mall we went. Driving there, we talked about a collage of subjects all tied together with a pretty bow, so to speak - the "bow" being crossdressing. This always makes our jaunts around town interesting.

Arriving in no time at all, we were walking into the mall and towards our destination. Of course a few stores on the way lured these two boyish-looking girls to their windows. Picture this if you can: two wide-eyed girls, their noses pressed to the glass, dreaming of all those pretty clothes hanging in their closets, ready to be put on that feminine self we all share and taken out to a party or dinner. Yea, you're right gals, "no guts no glory"! We pressed on towards the wig store, still dreaming though.

We headed to the store and walked by, "checking it out", so to speak. The coast was clear so we walked in. We were a little bit nervous but "united we stand..." and all that stuff! We casually started looking around and, lo and behold, there was this bubbly sales girl - we'll call her "Nancy". She was very nice and reassuring. She let us know right off the bat we were not the first guys to want to buy a wig. We (well, Charlotte) talked for a few minutes about Alpha Omega. Nancy said she has heard of us. She also said she had been to a Paradise meeting once for a wig presentation. We continued looking at wigs and talking. Once again, observant Charlotte nudged me and said, "Look out there on that bench." Directly outside the store was a courtesy bench about fifty feet from the storefront. Sitting on the bench were three guys, one or two had beards. They were watching the show in the store quite intently. My memory of them is vague at best because neither of us looked at them too long.

Well, the shopping and talking continued. Charlotte even sat down at one of the two booths at the rear of the store to try on three wigs. All this time Nancy kept the conversation going with Charlotte following her lead and me jumping in occasionally. We made our selections but they had to be ordered. The colors we wanted weren't in stock. OH WELL, whats' a girl to do? I know, WAIT!

The more I do this shopping thing, the more I think my fears are exaggerated - at least until something really catastrophic happens. You know, like going into a dress shop and asking the sales girl if I could look around or would she help me find a certain style. She then turns and yells at the top of her lungs, "Hey this guy wants to buy a dress!" That WOULD be catastrophic right?

All in all, I'd say this excursion went very well. Nancy was very professional, fun and knowledgeable about her merchandise. More importantly, she was TOLERANT of our lifestyle. She even asked us to come back dressed! Well, maybe that was just an off-the-wall statement not to be taken seriously but it was nice to hear! We left, walked around a little more and fantasized about the fashions we saw in a bunch of other display windows. It was so nice to see Charlotte's spirits raised by our femme excursion.

Well girls, that's it for now. Here's to your new "do"!

Love, Luck, Laughter, Pam F.

The events of the last month were really frightening to me. The Rodney King case was just the catalyst for a deep, low burning fire that only required the proper amount of air (time) to start smoldering and then come blazing. But I ask myself, how is injustice ever going to ease tensions in any volatile situation? I believe the major cause of this disturbance was misinformation. Only part of the story told to meet the requirements of the media so they could air the story and sensationalize it. In the meantime, the cause slips between the cracks in the road; frustration and anger replacing common sense and diplomacy.

So what's this got to do with us? I know how angry I get when I think of all the years I was closeted without understanding, without justice and without diplomacy, feeling subhuman. I feel I'm just another powder keg waiting for the right conditions to deliver the fateful spark needed to set me off. I have, in the past, tried diplomacy with myself, talked myself out of an action in favor of not raising cain or making others uncomfortable. But, the results will be similar to L.A. on a smaller scale. Perhaps it will receive a small notice in the local paper, or perhaps some close (?) friends will say, "I didn't think he (she) was capable of such an act." This seems to be the case when pressure begets unreality and someone goes over the edge. "OH, I lived next door to them for several years and I never thought they were like that. Such a nice person, to be deviant like that."

A war is being waged and our lifestyle, whether public knowledge or not, will be the victim. There are more and more pressures being placed on our government to respond to the growing demands of the Gay community. The Richardson Bill, allowing homosexuals in the military to openly reveal their sexual preferences (this bill does not mean they will be allowed to practice their lifestyle, but that a person cannot be dishonorably discharged due to their sexual choice) is under attack by the fundamentalist religions. The government is in trouble because, to be politically correct - especially during an election year, the Gay Rights cause is a just cause. To deny the Gays tolerance, up to open acceptance, of their lifestyle would insure a large lobby against you and any bills you may want to introduce.

To break the Gay hold on the government, the religious leaders would rather turn back the clock and not face this human issue. A push backwards for the Gay community would undoubtedly be a blow to our efforts to be understood, let alone allow us to be open with our lifestyle. I don't think I, for one, would be able to subordinate myself much longer. I do not want to be pushed back into a deeper closet than I am already in. I do not want to stop my evolution for the sake of a few homophobic persons. I do not want our country to deny anyone the pursuit of their happiness, as long as it doesn't harm the rights of others. Unlike the Gay community, I would not want to insure special privileges for our community. I would just want our community to be understood and respected for the good people we are.

But I believe, in the not too distant future, the rights of one of our sisters will be violated in such a way that it won't be easy to shove it between the obituaries in the paper or placed on a docket in a kangaroo court where the proceedings end up in a basement file cabinet and no one will give a damn.

The Black community has no corner on the market of being ignored, mistreated, abused, forgotten, and unloved. Every minority has to face those issues. The question is, will anger beget hate and hate beget violence? Will violence serve justice? No, not in a New York minute! My plea is simple. First get to know yourself, learn to love yourself and get busy teaching others that ignorance does not serve the greater good of our society. There is plenty of room for us to live together and common sense is better than political lobbies. Pressure cooks food well but doesn't provide a healthy growing environment for us and our children to live in. Where is our President's "kinder and gentler nation" now? Where are we going? What am I going to do to help alleviate this hate? I'm going to continue to look for peaceful solutions that disarm the hate and bring about understanding. How about you?

Love, Deb

I was hoping it to be the "Tootsie" of the 90's, but such was not the case. The movie "Ladybugs," staring Rodney Dangerfield, fell short of my expectations yet it was a touching and funny movie.

The movie scenario is based on a middle aged bachelor, either divorced or virgin, who is a salesman past his time for a raise. In order to secure the raise, Rodney sells his soul to the boss' daughter's soccer team, the Ladybugs. Rodney doesn't know a thing about soccer. Meanwhile, Rodney's fiancee has a young son and the son doesn't care for Rodney. The son meets a girl at school (Rodney's boss' daughter) and doesn't have the nerve to speak to her, let alone ask her out. In an effort to get help with the team, Rodney asks the boy to come to the soccer field and watch his team practice. The team has only two girls who have returned from the previous winning season and they are a bunch of losers. The young man sees his object of infatuation and decides to help Rodney out. The only catch is that being a girls' team and not being an adult, the young man has to turn into "Martha" and plays on the team while helping with soccer instructions. The girls begin to get good and win games with the help of Martha, their favorite girlfriend.

The plot thickens and I don't want to spoil it for any who want to see this flick or rent it when it comes out on video. I know I will rent the video to see it again.

If you are thinking the boy gets hooked on crossdressing for the rest of his life, it doesn't happen. The plot must have been written by one of the girls who write the transvestite "wish this had happened to me" dime fantasy novels. I liked the movie. It has the crossdressing element, which is sensitive even though the writer probably thought it would be a slap- stick comedy routine that would sell at the box office. If you're planning to see this movie at a theater, better hurry as it currently shares billing with another movie on the same screen and is shown only at select times. I say wait for the video, take it home, laugh yourself silly and cry a little. I did.

Discovering that your love stud prances about in feather boas and garter belts can be a shock, but sometimes even a macho man has secret desires!

By Kathy Pavlovski

On the surface, forty-two-year-old Kent is everything the typical American male aspires to be. A college basketball star, he still retains his lean, athletic physique while holding a top- level managerial position in a prestigious electronics firm. Married since college graduation, he lives in an affluent New York suburb, has two children, and is active in community affairs.

Yet one area of Kent's life remains hidden from everyone but his wife and a psychotherapist she briefly consulted. Several times a month, Kent unlocks at hefty trunk tucked away in his wife's closet, examines and picks through stacks of oversize satin panties, nylons, and evening wear. Standing in front of a full-length mirror, he dresses with careful deliberation, dabbing on Opium perfume, skillfully making up his face from a vast array of cosmetics, and finally fitting a curly blonde wig over his thinning hair. Then, after slipping into a pair of stiletto heels, he parades around the room, working himself into an extreme state of arousal. Sometimes his wife joins him; sometimes Kent enjoys the ritual alone.

Dick also appears both successful and well adjusted. A thirty-three-year-old lawyer, he lives alone in an attractive co-op on Manhattan's Upper West Side, is rarely without a date, and enjoys backpacking in the wilderness of New Hampshire and Maine.

But Dick's secret tendencies entail far more personal riskþand create more guiltþthan Kent's. At least once a month, Dick strolls around Manhattan, beautifully dressed and made up as a woman. After each expedition, he rushes home in a panic.

Most of us would assume Kent and Dick are gay. But according to experts, many transvestites are straight men with a strong urge to dress as women. Says Barbara DeBetz, MD., assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. "Most transvestites' only eccentricity is that they sometimes enjoy wearing women's clothes."

"Dressing up in lingerie and occasionally making love in it is just something I like to do. But I can certainly function without it," explains Burt, a thirty-eight-year-old writer who's been a practicing transvestite for the last fifteen years. "And I've certainly never wanted to be a woman."

Transvestites should never be confused with transsexuals, says John O'Connor, a psychiatrist on the staff of Columbia Presbyterian Psychiatric Association. The typical transsexual feels he was born the wrong gender. Going through a sex-change operation is his way of correcting that mistake. Transvestites are generally more conflicted about their longings. "I knew I wasn't effeminate and definitely wasn't gay but the idea of dressing like a woman turned me on so much, I couldn't resist it," admits Burt.

Why Would He Want to Wear My Pink Teddy?
Some transvestites are drawn to high heels; others stick to lingerie, garter belts, or panties. The specificity of their turn-ons makes them similar to fetishists, whose erotic longings are triggered by a female body parts or item of clothing. In other words, both have desires that are object related.

These proclivities can usually be traced to childhood experiences. Often, the mother of a cross-dresser or fetishist was emotionally unavailable to her son. The boy, seeking solace and a sense of maternal closeness, would secretly go through her personal belongings. Consequently, a link is made between seductive women's clothing and forbidden desire a potent mix that feeds erotic fantasy. But while a fetishist maybe turned on by a woman's foot or brassiere, the transvestite takes pleasure in identifying with her dress or behavior. According to Dr, O'Connor, cross-dressing represents the man's symbolic union with his mother a way of possessing her by becoming one with her.

Often, too, transvestites or TVs, as they are sometimes called had absent or emotionally detached fathers. Their mothers and sisters provided a counterbalance, exuding warmth and affectionþbut only among themselves. In such divided families, it may have seemed more advantageous to be female. The result? A young boy whose secretly yearned to be one of the girls.

Jack, a computer programmer, describes his father as driven and distant. "He supported the family but took little pleasure in anything," he recalls. "I noticed that my mother's and sister's lives were more keyed into enjoyment and playfulness. They shared a closeness with each other that made me feel left out."

Our culture expects men to be tough and independentþvulnerability is not an option for them. Such denial of feelings can be a huge source of frustration. For transvestites, cross-dressing is a chance to express a softer side. Putting on lingerie lets them play the part of the cherished love object. The taboo against wearing women's clothes only adds to the excitement.

So why are transvestites mostly men? "Woman don't really need to cross-dress: Society lets them wear pants, suits, sports-wear, without question. There are even panties designed to look like men's briefs," says Dr. O'Connor. Though male fashion allows for the occasional colorful tie or nontraditional fabric, he adds, blatantly feminine attire is still off-limits. The sheer fun of getting yourself up to be ogled and admired is also forbidden to men. Cross-dressing, then, lets them slip into the role of sex object, a role usually reserved for women.

Discovery
"For years, I thought I'd be completely destroyed if anyone found out," says Burt, the writer. Most transvestites are extremely private about their predilections. The people who do discover this secret are almost always unsuspecting wives or girlfriends who inadvertently surprise their mates in the act. Understandably, the women's response is a mixture of shock, repugnance, and alarm.

"Many TVs who decide to seek professional help do so at their wives' urging," says Dr. DeBetz. "lt's very difficult for a woman to cope with this form of behavior." The therapists' real task, she adds, is to get these women to acceptþand learn to live withþtheir mate's proclivities.

Take Jan and Eric, who entered therapy after Jan came home early from work to find her husband walking around in her clothes. Though they'd been married for ten years, she had no idea that Eric cross-dressed, and was horrified by her discovery.

"He was a successful businessman, and their marriage had always been a happy one," says Dr. DeBetz. "Over time, Jan came to accept Eric's secret, But even though she went as far as to make love to him when cross-dressed, she did it only to please him. It made her uncomfortable to actually look at him when he wore lipstick and eye shadow during lovemaking. He also had to make an effort to modify his behavior when he involved her. Somehow, both learned to cope with the situation."

Some TVs enjoy sexual play wearing just stockings or panties. But even toned-down dress-ups can be upsetting to a mate, says Dr. O'Connor. Such behavior doesn't mesh with a woman's ideas of how a man should be. It also threatens her sexual identity, stirring up not just anger but uneasy, feelings. It's almost always troubling for TVs' wives once they find out," he says, "but most of these men are nice guysþnot cruel or hard to live with. In many cases, the women do adjust, though usually not enough to feel entirely comfortable about participating in the ritual."

Some never adjust, unable to handle the anger and suspicion their husband's behavior makes them feel. Although Burt's marriage dissolved for other reasons, he says his interest in cross-dressing, which his wife knew about early on, was a contributing factor. "It made her uneasy, and she didn't want to accept it."

The Ladies Who Love Them
The majority of TVs won't share their secret with anyone, not even their wives. In many large cities, however, there are organizations and groups that not only provide support and a degree of acceptance for TVs but help them meet woman who seek them with such proclivities. Some networks are quite accessible and public; others are underground. Since a certain cross section of TVs are successful even distinguished men, cross-dressing in social situations must occur in a protected, safe setting with no possible links to "real" life.

Irene has been married to a cross-dresser for over ten years. "To me, these men are more sensual," she explains. "What most people can't comprehend is that they are not effeminate, but just have a another side to their sexuality. They really like women and are very feeling people."

A suburban homemaker with an affluent life-style, Irene has always known that her husband, David, enjoys wearing women's clothes. In fact, for years, the couple has shared a secret social life with other cross-dressers and their wives. Irene's introduction to this extremely private group came through a previous boyfriend, also a TV. Obviously, she is not put off by the notion of cross-dressing. "I believe some women are more comfortable with a man who expresses a feminine side," says Jack, a cross-dresser who regularly socializes with like-minded friends. "Maybe it's less threatening for them. It's not really a matter of role reversal but a certain blurring of the boundaries."

Whether such couples enjoy a normal sex life is impossible to say. Content with their arrangements, they're unlikely to seek any formal counseling or psychiatric help, and so remain an invisible, vaguely unexplored, segment of the population.

Self-Acceptance
Since transvestism is the result of development that takes place between the ages of four and six, a TV whose urges cause him a great deal of anxiety can't really hope to eradicate them. They're too deeply entrenched. Through behavior modification, however, he might learn to express his impulses in a "safer" manner, says Dr. O'Connor. This could involve learning to avoid situations that set off the desire to wear women's clothes in public. Or it could mean creating a ritual of dressing up that doesn't demand a foray into shopping malls or movie theaters.

Like Burt, most TVs who seek help feel a great deal of shame about their erotic impulses but have no desire to give up an experience from which they derive such intense pleasure. "Right off, my therapist asked me if cross-dressing was a problem for me - something I wanted to change. And I had to admit that, though it had been a problem for my wife, I really didn't want to lose that part of myself."

It's clear that transvestites can't be pegged; among them are wing-tipped stockbrokers, downtown drag queens, your next-door neighbor. What these men share is a desire to trespass into female territory-a desire that maybe more common than we realize. After all, points out Dr. O'Connor, many primitive societies permit men to masquerade as women during ritualized ceremonies. And our own pop culture lets us play out similar fantasies. The crowd-pleasing film Tootsie - whose plot pivots on Dustin Hoffman's disguising himself as a woman and very much enjoying the experience - may have touched a nerve. Could it be that an urge to bridge the gender gap lurks somewhere in us all?

This article appeared in the April 1992 issue of Cosmopolitan.

GOOD NEWS FROM THE POTTY-PARTY FRONT: Three more states have passed laws mandating more toilets for women in places of public assembly.

A Wisconsin bill, sponsored by Representative Rosemary Potter (D-Milwaukee), requires buildings with a capacity of 500 or more to have sufficient plumbing fixtures, so women can use the facilities as quickly and as easily as men. "I had women all over the state calling and writing in support of the legislation," she said. Said Governor Tommy Thompson: "I have two daughters; that's why I'm signing it."

Florida Senator Helen Gordon Davis (D-Tampa) garnered so much support for her restroom-equity bill that it passed unanimously in both the Florida House and Senate. "I had originally called for a one-to-one ratio of women's facilities to men's, but the men [in the Senate] amended it to make it a three-to-two ratio," davis said. When the bill passed, the majority leader celebrated by crowning her with a toilet seat. Davis' response: "Thank you for standing up for the right of women to sit down."

Illinois' Equitable Restrooms Act introduced by Representative John McNamara (D-Oak Lawn), also requires a three-to-two ratio of women's stalls to men's.

This article and the following on bodysuits appeared in the June issue of Glamour magazine.

(Reprinted from THE GENDERIST Vol. 1 issue 1, October 1991, Napa, Ca. This publication is the initial newsletter from the Gender Alternatives League. The GAL has been founded as a not-for-profit umbrella organization to work toward progress in civil rights and political action in behalf of the gender community. One of its main objectives at present is the removal of all gender expression from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.)

For most Genderists, hiding in the closet is not simply a challenging game of hide and seek - it is a form of "toxic" guilt and shame.

The roots of the problem usually go back to childhood but they are enforced by society, psychiatry, and the gender challenged individuals throughout their lives according to Dr. Leon Wurmser, M.D. at the University of Virginia in Charleston, and author of the book THE MASK OF SHAME. The real answer to good mental health is to break out and talk to someone. You will find out you are not alone and you will soon find that you are indeed "good." Your differences are not shameful - they are just differences.

"Toxic" shame usually is very pervasive for members of the gender minority and it can lead to depression, addictions and a host of undesirable "defenses." Shame is the horrible feeling of being deeply inadequate at our core. John Bradshaw puts more light on the subject in his book HEALING THE SHAME THAT BINDS YOU. Shame becomes "toxic" when it becomes a constant in our lives, a sickness of the soul, rather than a guide to betterment. In "toxic" shame you don't feel you have a flaw, you feel you are a flaw - a weak, defective person, unlovable and unworthy of love.

"When one feels ashamed, one feels unworthy of being "in connection" at the same time that one feels a deep longing to be connected," says Judith V. Jordan. Ph.D, director of Women's Studies at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. Because we feel exposed and vulnerable, we withdraw from relationships in order to protect ourselves from anticipated rejection. Paradoxically, explains Jordan, this retreat into hiding and secrecy locks us into our guilt and shame by reducing the opportunity for a "cure" through human contact.

Dr. Wurmser suggests that most people feel "toxic" shame because they have been shamed by others usually from childhood on. In the case of members of our minority the "shame on you" attitude has come from various sources for differing reasons.

Do you remember this statement from your parents? Boys don't do that!" They told you that it was "bad," that other children don't do this, (you were the only one) and you were shown that love would be taken away if you did this (rejection and punishment). You were given signals from your parents that caused you to do three things:

1. Continue the behavior because you enjoyed it or felt that it was right for you.

2. Hide the fact that you were doing it.

3. Feel guilt and shame that you are disobeying your parents and doing something that for some reason unknown to you was "bad."

But, why would your parents do such a thing to you. Didn't they know that you would withdraw from them (and society) if they said you were bad? No, they didn't know that and it was probably not their intention to harm you. Cross- gendered behavior hurts no one and the child (you) knows that. The child (you) also knows that it is pleasurable or that they really want to do it. Parents and society in general, on the other hand, were told that this was an illness and they really don't know that this imposition of guilt and shame will harm you the rest of your life.

This is because they are not cross-gendered, don't understand the phenomenon and they only know what they have learned about this activity as they were growing up. What did they learn? There are numerous sources of information available to everyone about the mental illness of transvestism or transsexualism, but no information was available until recently about Genderism and Genderists. Their information sources were other people, clerics, the mental health profession, and female impersonator shows as well as some drag queens who go out publicly.

What they were told by the drag shows and the drag queens was that it is a phenomenon of homosexuality. Your parents probably were not open minded enough about homosexuality to accept it. They were told that you were suffering from a mental illness and that you were probably homosexual. They were not able to talk to anyone who was really informed about Genderism. This was behavior that had to be stopped and they thought that shaming you would cause you to stop this "sick" behavior. Were they right? Yes, they did cause you to stop doing the activity around them or in public. They caused you to hide in the closet and start building up guilt and shame. Society in general is in this same position þ they don,t know the truth about you. And all they will ever know, unless someone tells them otherwise, is that you are sick. There was no such group as the Gender Alternatives League fighting for your rights and disseminating correct information about the gender community.

Society, like your parents, only knows what they have learned; that has been that you are "bad". The real educators in our society are the clerics and the mental health professionals. These are ones who we must educate about our community.

Where the core of the education problem lies is with the mental health profession and with ourselves. The mental health profession has labeled us and is oppressing our minority by spreading incorrect and "biased" information about us to the general public. Based on a "biased" examination of less than 2% of our community, they have labeled us mentally ill. They who should know better are actually doing us more harm than anyone can imagine. Psychiatry and psychology whose job it is to "cure" people creates more mental illness for members of our minority in the form of guilt, shame, fear, depression than any other segment of society.

We don't have to feel "bad" about ourselves! We are mentally healthy! We don't have to be rejected by society! We can do something about it!

The first step to healing is to change our perception of ourselves. We are no different than other members of society. We are people by birth and Genderists by choice! Being different or doing something different is normal. If it were not we would all be clones.

The second step is forgiveness of ourselves for both accepting the shame and making it our own. Also we can not forgive ourselves for perpetuating these false perceptions and fallacies by silence and hiding ourselves in the closet. We can forgive ourselves for "allowing" the mental health profession and society to oppress us.

The third step in the healing process is forgiveness of our parents, our relatives, and even society for their rejection and oppression of us. They did not know any better.

The forth step is to join others in the community who are fighting for your freedom and rights to live as others live and be free as others are free. Make this commitment today.

The fifth step is to take pride in ourselves and be the first class citizens we are. If you went to the movies or the grocery store dressed as your biological self would you tolerate discrimination? You are no different no matter who you are þ male or female þ masculine or feminine þ in a dress or in slacks. You have the right according to law to dress the way you want almost anywhere in this country. It is not illegal. Respect yourself and expect others to respect you.

The sixth step is the abolition of the mental illness label against our community and the education of society about the real people that we are. One sure way to do that for those of us who are willing is to interact with society. Let them meet the real gender minority not just the fabled one that only exists on the fringes of our community.

The seventh step is to live by our declaration and allow denigration of other members of our group or our minority. We must join forces and say no to those who feel that we do not deserve the same rights they do not withhold from themselves.

The eighth step is to attain civil rights and human rights for our community. They should be written into the law since only this way is there a guarantee that we are equal under the law.

The ninth step is to forgive psychiatry itself for initiating and perpetuating guilt and shame for members of our community and for us. Let us work together for more education and understanding.

This article was reprinted from FIESTA. the Fiesta Chapter newsletter, February, 1992.

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