CONTENTS

The Moon Over Alpha Omega- Abigail
Mardi Gras- by Laura Miller
Trying to be what you are not- Diane
From My Belgian Blog- Diane
Fatherly Advice Remembered- Bobbi
I'll Treat You Like a Lady - Diane
The Arts - Diane

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The Moon Over Alpha Omega

By Abigail

Astronomers from ancient to modern times and from every culture have been fascinated by the moon. From any location on the earth, the moon appears to be a circular disk which, at any specific time, is illuminated to some degree by direct sunlight. Like the earth, the moon is a sphere which is always half illuminated by the sun, but as the moon orbits the earth we see more or less of the illuminated half. During each lunar orbit (a lunar month), we see the moon's appearance change from not visibly illuminated through partially illuminated to fully illuminated, then back through partially illuminated to not illuminated again.

Although the full moon occurs each month at a specific date and time, the moon's disk may appear to be full for several nights in a row if it is clear. This is because the percentage of the moon's disk that appears illuminated changes very slowly around the time of the full moon The moon may appear 100% illuminated only on the night closest to the time of the exact full moon, but on the night before and night after will appear 97 to 99% illuminated; most people would not notice the difference.

For practical purposes, the phases of the moon and the percent of the moon illuminated are independent of the location on the earth from where the moon is observed. That is, all the phases occur at the same time regardless of the observer's position.

So what does this lunar science have to do with Alpha Omega? As I thought about the present state of the group, it occurred to me that Alpha Omega is in many ways like the moon. We wax and wane in membership and activities yet we are still there, even in dark times, even when we can't see or be seen well. Our waxing and waning doesn't necessarily match the calendar. We are present, large or small, bright or dark. To others or to ourselves, our changes may not be obvious. Yet we do change, we do grow, individually and corporately.

We all are born, we grow, we mature and we die. Humans do it, animals do it, plants do it as well as love affairs, business ventures, economies, political parties and nation-states. Our modern culture with its excessive focus on youth and endless productivity and consumption attempts to deny this basic cycle of life. It becomes easy to forget that we are fundamentally cyclic creatures. Many seem to believe that being a cyclical creature is primitive or inferior. We believe that we will be less productive, less useful or just plain stupid if we allow ourselves to follow the rhythm of our cycles.

However, there is much grace, inner peace and harmony to be achieved through living in a cyclic manner. Being able to recognize and use the most appropriate energy that is available to us at any given moment is in fact a far more efficient use of time and energy.

Alpha Omega is here. We have a core of active members. I believe that if we accept ourselves and our group as cyclic beings, we can take hold of much positive energy among and for ourselves.

We ought to remember that human beings are affected by the moon. Women especially are affected by the moon and their menstrual cycle is intimately linked to this celestial body. Putting aside all the scientific phenomena of the way the moon affects the tides, weather, animals, fluids and moods, symbolically the moon has a lot to teach us.

In ancient myth, the moon is a primary female archetype traveling the great round of birth, maturation, death and rebirth each month. This is a primal fundamental cycle of the universe of which every single living thing participates. Not only the ancients but many modern physicians and psychologists believe that as women become more aware of the different phases of the moon and how they experience them, they find it much easier to recognize and use the phase of life which they are at and will experience a greater acceptance of their bodies and their feminine nature.

A few moments of serious reflection may enable us to achieve greater acceptance of our own bodies and our own natures. We individually and as a group wax and wane and begin again. It's healthy. It's normal. It's who we are. Look at the moon tonight. Remember.

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Mardi Gras- by Laura Miller

We didn't have a regular meeting in February 2010. The usual reason we don't is because of snow. But this year (and probably in years to come) it was because AO members were attending two extracurricular events in force- a Mardis Gras party to benefit the North Coast Men's Chorus and the Chinese New Years Party that is put annually by Asians and Friends. We've had reports on Chinese New Year before...here is an eyewitness account of Mardi Gras by someone who actually managed to find it!

What a blast! What a surprise, a black tie affair! About 200 handsome men in tuxedos. In addition to fine voices, the Chorus and their supporters know how to take care of themselves. Not only was the Chorus in tuxedos, but most of the audience was also. And I learned that the Marti Gras Celebration was part of a continual fine arts program in the Cleveland area. So other art related groups were also in attendance, the ladies in evening dresses, and the men in suits or tuxedos. The dress was certainly was not that of your typical LGBT function.

The Celebration was a fund raiser so 60% of the cost was tax deductible, always a pleasant feeling in this season. And it also helped to encourage spending more on the evenings activities, such as the silent auction, a live auction, and a entrance package which included a mask, raffle ticket, and a surprise gift basket.

I won an Ohio State tee shirt, and although I did not attend Ohio State, I will wear before the Michigan game for sure. Besides Ohio State and now the Cavs are the only sports related hope in this part of the country!

Our non deductible, 40% included cocktail appetizers, plenty of cocktail shrimp circulated on trays, so helpful in the drink lines, a buffet dinner with chicken, fish, pulled pork, and shrimp gumbo, pasta, rice, vegges and other delicious items.

Cocktail and dinner featured a band with both male and female vocalists. After dinner entertainment featured the Chorus, followed by the live auction, and late evening dancing with a DJ.

I was most impressed by the friendliness by everyone, especially to those new to the group. I was really surprised by people who recognized me from years in the past, and I didn't have a clue who they were. Note to me, be more sensitive to strangers!

I was truly amazed when a young lady in the drink line approached me as to where we had met before. I was at a loss, and then she remembered, in 2005, I attended a performance of "Menopause, the Musical" in the 14th Street theater, and being late leaving, encountered two of the stars, one with her son, in the alley by the stage door and asked to take their picture. Well, the lady in the drink line was Jean Zarzour, who recognized me from that encounter, and who now bought me a drink.

And a former of the Paradise Club stopped to say hello. This time I had an excuse not to recognize him, he was in a tuxedo.

Finally to the title topic. The Event was at the "Windows on the River", which has an address, which is totally phony, located in an area of alleys, abandoned streets, and bridges, some working and some ghosts so Mapquest's beautifully sketched maps are worthless. Furthermore, the venue is not a restaurant, but a portion of a floor in a restored powerhouse containing several other restaurants which are identified on the side of the building. All this is in an entertainment complex containing an amphitheater, boat docks, and a major parking lot with paid admission. And as I finally figured, the last two Mapquest streets are now part of the parking area, so your actual arrival is several blocks sooner than Mapquest expects.

I arrived mid afternoon following Mapquest's instructions and made it to W 25th Street. I was aware of the Nautica Complex since I have been in several road races through the area, but have never had the occasion to actually pay the parking admission to enter the immediate area. With my Mapquest adventure, I never even got close to target so I
fired up my GPS. After missing an early turn, I wound up traveling both sides of the river, learning to disregard the GPS street names, which Cleveland has apparently changed, and just turn right and left when screamed at. I did disregard the instruction to turn right, the wrong way, on a one way street and finally decided that the restaurant was in the Nautical complex, two streets away.

Four hours later as I tried again this time with GPS only, I learned that at the second intersection from W 25th Street, when the GPS said turn right,I should have taken the second of three right turn streets, rather than the first but arrived at the parking admission. The $6.00 fee was only $3.00 as advertised so I knew I was close. Both the GPS and the parking attendant said turn right at the first street. What street? It appeared to be a large parking lot to me.

I drive to the powerhouse labeled with two restaurants neither which I wanted and the GPS said turn right at the next intersection. Well there was no next intersection but I did get to an area of the parking lot with no exit and I had to back down a row to turn around. I did circle of the lot with my GPS "recalculating". and arrived at the powerhouse again. The powerhouse was on my right, and the GPS advised that "I had arrived, my destination is on my left".

It's embarrassing to admit to be lost in a parking lot, but it was dark, and I'm a blond, so I asked two couples if this in fact was "Windows on the River". They didn't know! So I parked and and gave it a try.

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Trying to be what you are not- Diane

I wrote this little note after the suicide of a person who rather publicly transitioned and then publicly de-transitioned. I think it applies across the board.

I noted one comment on about people trying to be what they are not, and I thought this to be another example of how trans- is made exotic rather than having something very much in common with the rest of human experience...

We ALL wish to be what we are not, at least at some points in our lives- the child wishing to be grown up, the weak to become strong, the unskilled to become skilled, the shy to become bold, the meek to become assertive, the coward to become brave....that in that wish we wish others to see us as we wish to be. Being seen as the sex and gender you identify with, and taking steps to make that happen is no different.

The trope of 'being what you are not' has been used to keep people in their place for centuries, and however well intentioned this might have been, it is simply oppressive. All human aspiration is about being what we are not, even if that is to fully be ourselves when we are not.

Diane

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From my Belgian Blog

So something good in my life that is because of teh trans:

Saturday we visited our friend E. E. is nearly 88 and suffers from heart arrythmia as a sequelia to her heart valve surgery a few years ago. Lately it's been getting worse, and she's been put on an experimental new medication. The side effects have produced edema in her lower legs, making it hard for her to stand.

When we visited she was sitting up in a couch listening to a book on CD. My spouse rubbed lotion into her feet while we talked and then ran off to the drug store to buy some support stockings. Her son had been unable to get any. While we were waiting I shared our photo album of the best pictures from our life in Europe. The stockings made a huge difference and immediately relieved the near constant pain she had been in from skin stretched so tightly. The heart medication does seem to be helping with the arrythmia.

It would be enough if that were all of the story...that I have made friends who I care for, that my spouse and I share those friends together and that book circle surrounds us both with the mutual esteem and affection of a large, diverse accomplished group of women.

While I was showing E. our pictures, I didn't omit the ones of me as a man. I thought that this could be the last time we see her, and that in case she'd wanted to know, it wasn't something I should hide from her any longer. But after the shock of realizing how different I look, she decided that she preferred the female version of me. And that made me rather happy. We've had a number of adventures together. She's a bit of a surrogate mother for me, and I a bit of another daughter for her. It is bittersweet...we're back in Europe. We'll miss a birthday celebration being planned for her by circle. She could be gone by the time we get back in April.

But it's good... and without the trans I wouldn't have this relationship.

Diane

As an afterthought, I know I don't often write about this. I've always worried that this sort of thing could be seen as some kind of status claiming, creating and enforcing a trans-heirarchy. Then I worry that this sort of thing freaks spouses of CDs out..far too close to transition...this public visibility, the joint activities and friends with my spouse, the recognition that no, I'm not quite the same person at all, but both are true.

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Fatherly Advice Remembered

by Bobbi Ullinger

Since my first steps out the door 3 years ago, when I took a deep breath and walked into Starbucks and ordered a cup of Earl Gray tea, I have experienced several firstswhile en femme. The first time that my wife, Cathy joined me for lunch, the first time I met another crossdresser, the first time my son went shopping and to breakfast with Cathy & I, and the first time I went into a church for a Sunday morning service are among the most memorable. But there was a first this past week that caught me totally

by surprise. And while it was definitely a memorable experience, it was not the most pleasant experience I've had while dressed Over the past few months I had been driving to Warren, OH a couple times per month to join some new friends at a small bar called the Funky Skunk. The Skunk is a friendly,

welcoming bar, not at all what I would have expected a �gay� bar to be. It seems more like a neighborhood drinking establishment, typical of �Martiniʼs� in the Capra film, �It's a Wonderful Life�, rather than a post modern club that usually comes to mind when I think of a gay bar, and not at all what I would consider a �pick-up spot�. Wednesday night gatherings are my favorite. Saturday night gatherings, while very well attended and a lot of fun, tend to be too loud to carry on a good conversation. But on Wednesday nights, there are a half dozen girls sitting at the bar, enjoying quiet conversation. The bar tender, Lisa, is friendly, and knows each of us by name and what we drink. And the other girls there are very friendly, making me feel like one of the gang. It's the sort of place that feels safely familiar and comfortable.

This past Wednesday night, there were 4 of us sitting at the bar, enjoying each others company. I was sitting at the far right end of the group, half watching �Mama Mia� on the big screen TV and listening to Lisa tell about her young son's latest antics, when I noticed a guy at the other end of the bar glance over at us with a look of surprise. I had never seen him in the Skunk before. Thinking that this might be a good opportunity for some outreach and education, I started to go over in my mind, how I would explain �transgender� to him.

Three or four times I saw him staring our way, as if trying to figure out what he was looking at. Then suddenly, he was gone, and my attention was drawn to something that Lisa had said. But I soon felt someone staring at me from my right, and turned to see this same guy sitting on the stool next to me with a big grin on his face.

�Yes,� I exclaimed, �we are guys in skirts!�

There was an awkward silence as, sitting there with this big grin on his face, he seemed to struggle for which of many questions he wanted to ask first. �Do you date men?�

�The gay question,� I thought to myself. An easy one.

�Nope!� I replied. �Iʼm happily married to a very understanding and supportive wife, as are the rest of us here.�

�Well, that's too bad,� he said, still grinning. �Because you are hot.�

�Oh no,� I thought to myself. �A troll!�

�Thank you,� I said meekly.

�I am very into women like you, and you look very good!�

�Thanks,� I said, trying to melt into my bar stool, �but I'm not at all into that.�

What surprised me, I think, as much as his first advances, was his persistence. Our conversation went on for almost 5 minutes, him telling me how hot I was, and that he had found out that we were going to be there through one of the on-line groups where it was posted. Even after being told several times that I was not interested, he bought me a beer, and tried one more time.

Finally he extended his hand as if to shake, saying, �Bobbi,it's been nice to meet you.� I instinctively extended my hand to shake, which he grabbed and pulled to his mouth, kissed and licked it in one last, desperate try.

After again being rejected, he moved to the next girl, then the next, right down the line. It was obvious that he was not interested in us or who we are. He was only interested in �one thing�. He went home that night, disappointed.

In the days that followed, I thought about that night, and about that �first�. And I thought about the conversations that I had had with my daughters when they were teenagers, first starting to date. In light of the persistence of these unwanted advances, I wish that I had been better prepared. Yes, I knew trolls were out there, and yes, I knew that I had no desire to go down that road. But, I was not prepared to respond.

By the time that he had reached the last girl in line, it was obvious that he was getting more desperate, as he was moving quickly to touching. First a hand on her shoulder, then her thigh. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable and not sure what to do.

�If he's bugging you, tell him to leave you alone,� I said. She nervously smiled. By this time, it was late, I had a 45 minute drive home, and an early morning.

For those who have not had the experience of being come on to, or those that have never had to give cautionary advice to daughters, I have something to say. This is what I told my daughters several years ago.

There are people out there that are not very nice people. They are interested in only one thing. They do not care about you, nor do they care about who you are as a person. They care only about one thing, They care about only one very specific part of your body. For them it is not about making you feel like a woman, although what they say may have that effect. For them it is about them satisfying themselves. They can be found just about anywhere, even in places that you and your friends go. And they will tell you that you are beautiful, which you are. But they don't see you for your beauty.

They see you for only one thing.

If you go out very often, you will probably be approached by one of these people. Don't let this keep you from going out, just be prepared for it. Know ahead of time how to react. Have something rehearsed, ready to say. If you are ready for it, you can handle the situation with confidence.

There is safety in numbers. When you go out try to take along some friends. Not only can they help fend off these unwanted advances, but they may also be able to see if you are wandering into the �pink fog�, and help pull you back to reality.

As a last resort, do not hesitate to apply your knee swiftly to his crotch. This may be the only way that he will get the message.

My experience last week reinforced what I told my daughters years ago, and made me see that it is truer than ever. And it applies not only to our daughters, but it also applies to us.

Aside from the momentary distraction from this one individual, I had a good time that night at the Skunk. We're planning on going out again next Wednesday, and we'll have another good time. And I'll be better prepared for any unwanted advances.

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Bobbi's experience reminded me of something that happened to me a few years back that I put into a poem. -Diane

I�ll treat you like a lady

The streetlights and the soft breeze took their delight in playing with my molten skirts, never letting any one color or shape persist for long advertising my fluidity among all the possibilities that permeated the night.

Carrying their French horns two women from the pit orchestra shared my pleasure in my formal finery as we all walked to the theaters.

And then I marveled at the man striding past with a Freudian beard, tan brogues, black socks and a suit with a pleated skirt on his way to the Dr. John Concert.

Seated in the lobby I waited unmarked for my friend,
late in her little black dress,
hoping that she�d arrive before the ballet started

Another friend, with rare recognition said I looked better than she did.

Confused on dates, there was no party to go to afterwards
Too hungry to go home, I found myself a place to eat.

Can I sit, he asked? Inexperienced and more than a little curious, I didn�t say no.

He told me of his wife, his children and his desire. He would treat me like a lady, he said.

While I ate, he talked and talked and talked some more about his desire
I think he thought that my desire was his, but he never asked.

And since it wasn't, I offered what consolation and comfort I could,

"You are not responsible for what you desire, only what you do about it."

�Now, you�ve made me sad�, he said.

He may not have treated my like a lady,
But he certainly treated me like a woman.

Outreach abroad- Diane

One of the points of being here is Europe is to see how different people solve similar problems in different ways. I had the chance to observe the local equivalent of AO try to generate some visibility for itself on March 6th. What they did could provide inspiration for AO.

March 6th was "Women's Day" as celebrated by the government of the province. The transgender group was invited or wangled an invitation to this event. They had a table serving drinks (including wine...this IS Europe) and educational materials. I do suspect that some people thought it was a gag...a couple of husbands being good sports about helping out at an event that their wives were involved in. But I had interesting conversations with some rather sympathetic women.

I could see AO getting together with Transfamily to do a joint booth at some kind of similar event (maybe the women's day at the IX center). What do you all think?

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After several years I've finally located my early years disk of New Yorker Cartoons. One of my favorite cartoons when I started this series was this one from 1926.-Diane

Reah Gardner 10/30/1926

Resuming our exploration after a several year hiatus in 1928 we find this gem by another female cartoonist:

"You really think I'd look well in your Prince of Wales Oxfords?"

Mary Petty 2/11/1928

This rather inverts the joke from 1926. In 1928 we see our first MtF CD cartoon, featuring conversation at a costume party (or was it a support group meeting?)

who else but Peter Arno 2/18/2008.

Barbara Shermund (3/31/1928)

To which my reaction is "Whatevuh!"

Barbara Shermund 4/24/1928

This was the flapper era. Note the curveless figure.

Helen E. Hokinson 5/5/1928

Don't we all? Unless of course, we feel like tomboys!

Otto Soglow 6/16/1928

Whatever joke there was in placing Bernarr McFadden in drag at a reconstructed crime scene is probably lost with the era. McFadden, according to my brief research founded the cult of body building in the US with his magazine "Physical Culture" promoting health through exercise, a diet of milk and vegetables and lots of sex. A true Horatio Alger story, he was a orphan, became a millionaire and died penniless. He founded a publishing empire, first discovered Walter Winchell, Ed Sullivan and Charles Atlas. Among his publications were the New York Evening Graphic and True Story. Perhaps the cartoon is commenting on something in them or their content in general.

Rea Irvin 7/7/1928

Barbara Shermund 9/22/1928

Or she's really..... but anyhow, in this next cartoon perhaps we get the opposite?

Barbara Shermund 10/18/1928

Shermund comments on women were an insiders view, unless the scene below is couple of arch drag queens.

Barbara Shermund 10/6/1928

Of course there could be a reason for this:

Leonard Dove (11/28/1928)

To wrap up 1928 here's a true classic cartoon with only a little to do with gender roles, although it does play the trope of little kids swearing for the first time:

Carl Rose 12/8/1928

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Group Information
The Alpha Omega Society is a non-profit social support group for heterosexual crossdressers and their wives or partners. We primarily serve Cleveland and nearby Northeast Ohio communities.

Publication Information
This newsletter is copyright 2010 by The Alpha Omega Society. All rights reserved. Articles and information contained in this newsletter may be reprinted by other non-profit crossdresser organizations with advance permission of the author and provided that proper credit is given to author and source. The opinions or statements contained in this newsletter are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Alpha Omega.

Contributions of articles are welcomed, but may be altered in the editing process, with the author�s intent retained, or may be rejected, whether solicited or not. We will exchange newsletters with any other similar group.

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