Providing for the personal growth and fulfillment of those whose lives are affected by crossdressing
DECEMBER 2007



CONTENTS

[Upfront] The Month
[Community] Making history
[Frank Talk] Thoughts for the month
[Inner View] Socrates Latté
[the Arts] French artist Bernard Buffet
[Memoir] Sandy seeing me in her clothes - part 2
[In the News] Portrait of a lady - part 2
[Last Laugh] Skin Deep

(Just click on the bracketed title [xxxxx] above to go directly to an article.)
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[Upfront]
THE MONTH

On Community: Documenting and preserving our histories - you can help!

Diane Frank, our resident benevolent curmudgeon, shares her view on “firsts” and then shares some “firsts” of her own.

Inner View: Do snowflakes have a gender? Modern dance choreographer, Mark Morris, has a view.

Art: Bernard Buffet - very French, very edgy and very successful.

Gloria Fenton: The beginning of Gloria's journey with Sandy.

In the News: The strange allure of crossdressers - this time it's personal.

Last Laugh: "No I haven't been mugged. Why do you ask?"

Elaine


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[Community]
MAKING HISTORY

By Kathleen Fenton

Alpha Omega was delighted to have Dr. John Grabowski address our group at the November meeting. Dr. Grabowski is a Professor of Applied History at Case Western Reserve University and Director of Research for Western Reserve History Society. Accompanying him was Lyz Bly, a graduate student at Case who is working with him on this research project. Lyz is an old friend of AOs, having previously spoken here about “Art and Gender.”

Dr. Grabowski spoke about the mission of the Western Reserve Historical Society which is to compile, catalog and archive documents relating to the people who were and are part of the history of the Western Reserve area. This documentation is then available to anyone researching the history of this area and its people. As he pursued his work he realized that there was no documentation on certain groups of people who are part of this history. One of these groups is the LGBT segment of the population.

Dr. Grabowski and the Western Reserve Historical Society have made a decision to include the LGBT communities in their quest for accurately and completely documenting the history of this area. He also told us that this area of research has been adopted on a state level by Go-Hi. He feels this documentation will help dispel the illusion some people hold, that the whole LGBT community is a recent phenomena.

This mission is made difficult by the desire and need for many people in these communities to maintain their anonymity. There are those who fear exposure could cause the loss of their personal security and safety, their jobs or even their families. As true historical documentation the names, places and events would need to be part of the record. The Society is working with people who contribute documents to find ways to address these concerns. But, unless the individual is willing to, at some reasonable point in time, allow the historical facts to be available to researchers the documentation would have little value.

The Society is also working on taking and transcribing oral histories. A lot of the history of the LGBT community is in individual life experiences or group experiences which are not recorded any where. These oral stories could add valuable information to the history.

The Society accepts donations of funds to help maintain this project. It is also looking for volunteers who can contribute their time to help compile and catalog the records.

Individuals interested in contributing records, time or funds to this project can contact Dr. Grabowski or Lyz Bly at 216.721.5722 or check their web site at www.wrhs.org.


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[Frank Talk]
THOUGHTS FOR THE MONTH

By Diane Frank


One of the things I tend to be is a bit of a wet blanket about “first times out.” I keep trying to tell people that it’s all very well and good to get out for the first time if that’s what you need to do, and by the way that isn’t always what people need to do, but what’s more important is what your life is like when it’s the 100th time out. Someone will post something on one of the forums that I frequent about their first time out, and how they’re floating on a cloud…and I’ll go rain on their parade… “well NOW what?… you think every time you step out of the house in a frock it’s gonna be like your first time?”

So I’m totally aghast to find that I’m marking a lot of personal “firsts” in this column.

Sometimes unintended consequences work in our favor. One of my projects for years has been to seek venues where people could express whatever it is they express when they choose to crossdress outside support groups and bars and religious organizations. I’ve created a life that works for me, but one that I think would challenge many. So I’m really pleased to have accidentally learned of a new, and to be truthful, as yet untested opportunity.

Our speaker from the Western Reserve Historical Society last month indicated that one of the things they always need is volunteers. We could volunteer. That means that Gloria, or Diane or Elaine or Mary could have an opportunity to do some useful work, not just Butch, Biff, Barney or Algernon. That said, it’s not on my agenda these days with everything else going on in my life. I wish the brave soul who tries this first a lot of luck. Based on my experience so far, clothing will fade into the background provided that the work gets done.

So that was a first in years of searching for new alternatives.

Another first was speaking at this year’s Transgender Day of Remembrance gathering. I hadn’t intended to. What happened was that at the previous Shabbat evening services the Rabbi repeated a prayer for the TDOR from a Rabbi in San Francisco.   [prayer for TDOR]

What was significant was that this coincided with the 24th anniversary of what originally started as a GL congregation (the T-part came later). And it was the first explicit acknowledgement of “T” by the mainstream congregation with which we have become a Chavurah to, despite the presence of Bob and Karen Gross, founders of TransFamily.

I thought that this prayer should be shared, and passed material along to Jake Nash. That in turn lead to me talking about it and what it meant to me. Which lead to two other firsts: My remarks being reported (with reasonable but not complete accuracy) in the Gay People’s Chronicle, [read my remarks here] and my picture appearing on the cover of said newspaper. People who know how notoriously camera shy I am can relax. If I didn’t know it was me, picking me out from a crowd of people walking from the LGBT Center to the facility where the memorial service was held would be impossible. Even then it’s a profile shot and my face is obscured by my hair. Still, it’s a first (and hopefully last).

There were two more firsts for me this past month.

I stopped by one of those fabulous Dillard’s outlet sales and found a Spencer Alexis kimono top marked down to $9(!!!), and a Lauren silk shell marked down to $16. I have been dreaming of finding a Spencer Alexis piece ever since we found my spouse an outfit marked down at a Nordstrom Rack store on one of our visits to California. I’ve looked without success every trip since. It’s really more summer wear, but I was delighted to try it out on another first, having several people from Temple over for a “family of choice” Thanksgiving dinner. The rest of my family had obligations elsewhere leaving me potentially alone. Being pro-active, having people over for dinner was just the thing.

I guess, unless you’re dead, first’s will keep happening. Still, I’m of the mind that we keep our eyes open for the first to come, and not obsess about the firsts “whot wuz.”

What firsts do you have coming up?


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[Inner View]
SOCRATES LATTÉ


Are snowflakes gendered?


(click on image for larger view)

The snowflake scene: from The Hard Nut, Mark Morris's modern take on the perennial Christmas favorite - The Nutcracker.







THE HARD NUT

From a New York Times review by Jennifer Dunning

Published: December 6, 1992

Does the casting of men in traditionally female roles belong in "The Nutcracker"? Mr. Morris, always exuberantly open about the fact that he is gay, insists that his use of male dancers in female roles has nothing to do with sexual politics.

"The travesti roles are just that," he said with the faintest touch of exasperation. "The Snowflakes are just snowflakes, the Flowers just flowers." Wanting to create "big numbers," he insisted, he simply deployed all of his 35 dancers, whether male or female. "I'm so much less interested in gender than people think. This is not political. It's natural."

The Christmas pantomime tradition of travesti, or female roles played by men, is a long one that is honored by Balanchine in "The Nutcracker," where a man plays Mother Ginger. And Mr. Morris stressed that the men on point in "The Hard Nut" are not intended as drag caricatures who fall down and are funny. Early on, he decided he wanted some dancers on point. Having a few Snowflakes on point evoked and underscored for him the chill sharpness of snow.


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"Painting... we do not talk about it, we do not analyze it, we feel it."


-- Bernard Buffet               



Art by Bernard Buffet


French painter Bernard Buffet was born on July 10, 1928, in Paris and studied drawing and painting in 1943 before being admitted to the School of Beaux-Arts a year later. He exhibited his works in Paris for the first time in 1946 and found success during the mid-'50s.

A prolific painter who made over 8,000 works during a career which lasted over 50 years, Buffet applied his linear drawing style to landscapes, portraits, circus and religious scenes, nudes, still lifes, city views and figures. His palette is dark in color with blacks and grays predominating, although he does, sometimes, use luminous colors. His rigorous gothic art is a reflection of his own personality: individualistic, elegant, sober, solitary, and melancholy.

He became immensely rich, and his works were much sought in Japan, where two museums are devoted to him. His best works were done between 1947 and 1955, a period during which he made anguished paintings that denounced poverty and the horrors of war.

Buffet committed suicide on Oct. 4, 1999, at his home in Tourtour, Southern France. Aged 71, Buffet was suffering from Parkinson's Disease and was no longer able to work as he wished.







Le Travesti, 1951
oil on canvas




Le Travesti, 1968
lithograph




Disguised, 1960s
lithograph



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[Memoir]
SANDY SEEING ME IN HER CLOTHES - part 2

By Gloria Fenton

The Basics

Though I only tried on one stocking, one shoe, and a slip the first time Sandy let me try on some of her things, I did tell Sandy what I wore, and that her things had all fit me. Those were the basic things that Sandy needed to know, and Sandy was able to draw her own conclusions from that knowledge.

I did not tell Sandy that she was only the second woman whose stocking I wore. Nor did I point out that from times of seeing Sandy tugging the hems of her dresses down, that I had a sense of how my wearing one of her stockings, compared to her wearing stockings. I did not bring up that I really liked the look and feel of nylons on my legs, and that I probably enjoyed wearing stockings more than she did. And it was not brought up that I knew how to hook stockings to a girdle or garter belt with garter hooks just as any other woman did.

There was no need for me to mention that I knew about garter gap, keeping my hems pulled down, how to keep my knees together, how to cross my ankles, and how to very ladylike cross my legs. I was well aware of being as prim and proper in a dress and stockings as Sandy or any other woman. But there was no need to mention it.

The same basic logic was also there about Sandy’s one shoe fitting me. Sandy knowing the one shoe fit me was all that was needed for the moment. I told Sandy about my foot sliding right into her shoe; but there was no need to get into telling Sandy of other women’s shoes that had also fit me, and that I had learned to walk in them. It really didn’t matter right then for her to know that I could walk quite well in a woman’s shoes, whether they were flats, low heels, or even high heels.

I liked the look and the feel of a woman’s shoes on my feet. Women had choices of styles, heel heights and colors far beyond anything men had to wear. That was definitely part of the allure of wearing women’s shoes. But, I also liked how it felt to walk in woman’s shoes, because they were so different from men’s shoes. Even a pair of flats could look pretty and sexy. Nobody ever referred to guy’s shoes as being pretty or sexy.

And, basically, guys walked like guys, in whatever guy’s shoes they wore. For women, a change of shoes could totally change the way they walked and moved. A guy changing from black oxfords to brown loafers was no big difference. A woman changing from brown flats to blue three inch high heels tended to always be a major difference. Her walk could go from being quite casual to being very provocative. Wearing women’s shoes let me, in my own way; have a sense of how women felt wearing and walking in them.

I was twelve before I had a pair of young woman’s shoes fit me. And a few months later I learned how to walk in high heels by trial and error just the same as any other young woman did. In my own way I learned the different walks of a woman from casual to provocative by walking in the shoes of different women when I had the chance to. I would often try to imitate how I saw them walk in their shoes, but the best part was finding my own sense of being in their shoes as if they were mine, and I was the woman walking in them.

From the moment my stockinged foot slid into Sandy’s shoe, I knew I was going to really enjoy walking like a woman in all her shoes and boots. Besides the stocking and the shoe, I told Sandy about her full slip fitting me. The slip was fairly new so by the time I wore it Sandy had only worn it a very few times herself. I had not seen the slip on Sandy, as our relationship had not become overly intimate yet, and a slip was part of a woman’s most intimate clothing.

Sandy was the third woman to have a slip I wore, but the second to have a slip that fit me. At twelve, I found an old slip, much smaller than my mother’s other slips that fit me. The material of the old slip felt so soft and smooth on my young body, and the bits of lace on the slip looked quite pretty. Women wore lace and soft smooth materials. The thin straps of the slip added to its feminine look as they lay on my shoulders next to the straps of the bra I had on.

At twelve I saw my body fill out a slip for the first time and felt the material form to the womanly figure I had created. Wearing Sandy’s slip that first time, there was only a pair of my guy’s briefs on under it; but I could tell that the size and length were good on me. I did not mention to Sandy about how soft and smooth the material of her slip felt on my then young man’s body, and that I could then sense how she felt wearing her slip. And there was no need to mention that I knew how to wear the clothing a woman wore over and under her slip.

By the time I wore Sandy’s slip, because of the changing times and the wearing of mini skirts and shorter dresses, a lot of younger women were seldom wearing slips anymore. It was not ladylike to have the hem of one’s slip seen by others, and it could be quite embarrassing, but could also be seen as being provocative as well. Seeing and feeling Sandy’s slip on my body let me know that what Sandy wore over and under her slip should also fit me.

It had been awhile since I had seen and felt my body in a feminine way, and I didn’t mind at all that there was the chance of making my body look very much like Sandy’s body in her clothes. Sandy had pretty legs, and her body filled out her outer clothing quite nicely with her shapely figure. There was no need to mention to Sandy that I had, in my life, seen my body with a shapely figure, and that I liked my body looking that way.

I had told Sandy that I liked to dress and look like a woman. I had not hidden that from her. With just wearing a stocking, a shoe, and a slip of Sandy’s, I had discovered that my legs, my feet, and my body, could be so much like Sandy’s. I had not expected that to happen. I had told Sandy my secret because she had a right to know it, and then choose if she could still want to love me.

I knew Sandy had the right to know her things had fit me after she let me try them on; and I knew she had the right to know that I had liked seeing and feeling her things fit me. I did tell Sandy all of that. So by the time I told Sandy those things, she knew that she had clothes and shoes that fit me, that I had liked being in them, and that I liked being able to dress and look as complete as I could, like a woman.

Sandy knew all the basics, even if I didn’t fill in all the details. I had little doubt that Sandy had, on her own, figured out most of the details. There was no need for me to mention or dwell on how well Sandy’s clothes and shoes fit me, or how much I liked being in them. Nor did I need to dwell on my wanting to dress and look even more like a woman or, in a sense, even more like Sandy. Sandy didn’t need me to tell her those things. Sandy knew all she needed.

Like it had been before Sandy let me try on some of her things, our relationship, and what Sandy would or would not allow, was still totally up to her. Even with Sandy loving me and with me loving her so much, Sandy had the choices to make. I had no idea that a week later Sandy would tell me that she had already arranged for me to be all alone in her parent’s home with full access to her bedroom with her permission for me to wear anything and everything she had so I could dress and look as complete as I could, like a woman, and so much like her.

To be continued...


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[In the News]
PORTRAIT OF A LADY - part 2

Portrait of a Lady-Part I

By Ashlea Halpern

Published: Dec 20, 2006

This Time It's Personal


Some are passable, pretty even, but most look exactly like what they are: men in dresses.

I'm flipping through a copy of LadyLike, a locally run magazine dedicated to the cross-dressing lifestyle, admiring the dozens of CD photos strewn throughout its pages. Sometimes the giveaways are subtle (jaws too square, hips too narrow, hair too big, etc.). And sometimes it couldn't be more obvious: Their shoulders slope forward like a Neolithic hunter who just clubbed a saber-tooth tiger and is now modeling its fur.

The coy smiles, the painted lips, those saucy over-the-shoulder winks — these women are exaggerated pictures of femininity, Vargas girls with five o'clock shadows. Compared to their coiffed hairdos and perfectly pressed-on nails, I feel downright mannish. Yet something about them excites me.

My man Andy begs to differ. "They're so campy," he says, head shaking, only somewhat aware that the next logical step in my exploration of CDs is to dress him like one.

To date, the closest Andy's gotten to cross-dressing was masquerading as Ziggy Stardust for Halloween '05. But one bottle of Rioja and plenty of positive reinforcement later, and Andy was a ZIP code deep in CD land. He wore foundation, blush, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. His first outfit was a black bra, frilly white panties and the leftover Ziggy wig. He looked a bit too campy for my liking — a red-headed Hedwig or a sneery Sandra Bernhard. He told me he felt ugly — "I look like I'm wearing a diaper," he grumbled — so we traded the white panties for see-through boy shorts.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, hands thrown in the air. "Give me some direction."

Inside, I was laughing maniacally. But for his sake, I maintained a cool exterior, suggesting he pose in a Titian recline, make kissy faces like the starlet he knew he was, and do the Chuck Berry twist.

"You owe me, you know that?" he groused.

Andy was not a happy little cross-dresser. And so far, I wasn't feeling that loin-trembling lusty burn. I yanked off the Bowie wig, and gave him another outfit.

And there, sitting in his desk chair, wearing my vintage cardigan, black bra, girly green panties and cowboy boots, strumming an acoustic guitar with three busted strings, he actually looked ... pretty.

His makeup was starting to bleed, and his bangs were matted against his forehead. His legs, chest and pits were unshaven. He looked like a lesbian folk singer or maybe Liza Minelli, the sort of strung-out, slightly deranged queen you'd see in a Katsumi Watanabe or Nan Goldin print.

We snapped no fewer than 600 photos. For our private collection, of course.

When I grilled him afterward, he said he only felt pretty "from the neck up." He never sensed the emergence of a female personality, nor did his lady like moves come naturally. More than ever, he said, it made him question cross-dressing's allure.

I tried to assure him of his female hotness, of his supple lips and surprisingly smooth complexion, but he only focused on the negative: the rolls, the love handles, the insistence that no matter what I said, I wasn't really attracted to him.

Typical woman.

original Philadelphia City Paper article

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[Last Laugh]

SKIN DEEP

By Natasha Singer

Published: August 23, 2007

NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN MUGGED. WHY DO YOU ASK?


YOU know fall is upon us when beauty companies start pushing femme fatale makeup.

Ideally, theatrical colors — mulberry lips, scarlet-fever blusher, black-widow eyeliner — should conjure a glamorous diva. But, in reality, a face anchored by a dark matte mouth and penumbral eyelids could easily qualify for the pages of Glamour Don’t.

“Look! It’s Grandpa from ‘The Munsters,’ ” exclaimed a colleague when I returned to the office last week wearing the latest fall makeup, freshly applied by a beauty adviser at a department store.

How to wear autumn makeup shades without looking as exaggerated as a female impersonator is an annual problem.

Every spring, cosmetics companies bring out new pink, pastel and terra cotta tones, marketing them with terms like “fresh,” “healthy” and “glowing.”

Come fall, the same beauty brands inevitably introduce deeper-hued jewel and berry shades, with slogans like “a return to glamour,” a marketing scheme intended to induce women who may have pared down their summer grooming routines to a bit of bronzer and a dash of lip gloss to reinvest in foundations and lipsticks.

Every year there are new names for this heavy-lipped, heavy-lidded look. Estée Lauder’s fall makeup collection is called After Hours. Prescriptives has The Seducers. Department stores are advertising Smokin’ Hot from Yves Saint Laurent Beauté.

But that is just rebranding. The look was old when Gloria Swanson wore it in 1950 in “Sunset Boulevard.” The practice of using color pigments to play up the seductive quality of eyes and lips predates even Cleopatra (the consort of Caesar and Mark Antony, not the movie in which Elizabeth Taylor disports with Richard Burton).

The question is whether a retro look befitting Norma Desmond or an Egyptian mummy could work on a contemporary woman who spends her working day not in a West Hollywood swimming pool or on a Nile barge but in a Midtown office.

I decided to sample the fall collections to find out.


PRESCRIPTIVES, MACY’S
Products used (11): concealer, foundation, liquid eyeliner, four eye shadows, eyelash primer, mascara, blush, lipstick.

The makeover started well enough.

A beauty adviser primed my face with a little concealer and foundation. Then she set about creating what she called “the fall eye.”

Using a black liquid eyeliner, she drew a thin line from the inner corner of my eye, widening it into a graphic block at the outer corner, which turned up into a 45-degree angle.

“It’s called the cat’s eye, or the Egyptian eye,” she said.

In combination with pale primed skin and nude lips, the thick eyeliner recalled Brigitte Bardot circa 1960. It looked intense, but it worked.

Then came the overkill: The adviser layered on white, black, purple and lilac eye shadows patted on thickly both above, and a bit below, my eyes. My eyelids looked like I had gone a few rounds with the heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko.

Next, she chose a lipstick called Purple Prose, which she applied above my lip line, halfway to my nose.

“It looks strong to you now because it is still summer,” the beauty adviser said. “But when the weather is cooler and you are wearing fall clothes, the makeup will fit right in.”

Somehow I doubted it.

I bought just the eyeliner.


YVES SAINT LAURENT BEAUTé, SAKS FIFTH AVENUE
Products used (14): exfoliating cream, face serum, eye cream, age-defying cream, concealer, liquid foundation, loose face powder, eye shadow compact (four colors), eyeliner, mascara, two blushes, lipstick, lip gloss.

“Feel your skin!” commanded the beauty adviser, taking my hand and running it along my face. “It’s so uneven. You have dry patches and your pores are clogged!”

Apparently the old negative reinforcement technique still moves products.

She remedied the situation by applying a $300 face serum and several other skin-care products to provide a smooth canvas, the better to show off the makeup, she said.

To create fall’s smoky eye, she used a new eye compact called Palette Esprit Couture. She started with a nude eye shadow as a base coat. Then came purple along the eye socket. And then a deep brown, patted all over the eyelids. She brushed on several coats of mascara and then used a blue eyeliner, drawing it along the lash line.

“See how much wider your eyes are!” she pronounced.

It looked good — if I were Avril Lavigne got up for a semiformal dinner at the captain’s table on a Bahamas cruise.

“Well, this is a nighttime look,” she conceded. “You can take it up or take it down.”

Tone it down, I suggested. She obliged with a lot of beige eye shadow under my brows, blending it into the dark brown to lighten it and cancel out the mauve.

To top it off, she chose a deep scarlet lipstick, using it liberally to enlarge the size of my mouth.

It was a look John le Carré described as “a fat lipstick mouth drawn over the little thin one underneath.” Not something to emulate.

Upon request, the adviser toned down my lips as well, applying concealer to the lipstick that had overrun my lips and adding a neutral lip gloss to mute the bright pigment.

At dinner that night, a friend said: “It’s not you, but it looks beautiful.”

I am going to use the eye shadows, remembering to skip the mauve and to go easy on the brown.


SEPHORA
Products: 1 lipstick.

Lipstick sales have declined in the last decade while lip gloss sales have increased almost tenfold, according to NPD Beauty, a market research firm.

But don’t tell that to Sephora.

Earlier this month, Sephora installed signs in some stores trumpeting the idea that “Lipstick Is Back!” To bolster this notion, saleswomen, referred to in-house as “cast members,” said they had been encouraged to swap their glosses for lipsticks.

At the Times Square store, I installed myself at a long red table topped with lighted vanity mirrors and asked a beauty adviser to help me choose a fall lipstick.

“Do you want a classic red red or a deeper red?” she asked. “The pinkier red is easier to wear, but the classic red makes more of a statement.”

We chose Sephora Cream Lipstick 94, a take-no-prisoners matte tomato of a color described as “fierce” in the company’s fall catalog. Indeed, it was so fierce that I wondered whether I should wear foundation and eye shadow or at least a lip liner, some kind of cosmetic diversion to distract people from looking at it.

“You don’t need to wear makeup with that. You can wear it as a stand-alone,” said the woman, clearly a graduate of the soft-sell school of beauty advising. “Why, do you want a lip liner?”

She applied the red lipstick to my mouth, miraculously staying within the lines. The result was vaudevillian.

“It looks great,” she said. “You can pull that off.”

There are some women who can pull off cherry-popsicle lipstick. Madonna, say, in “Who’s That Girl?” Paloma Picasso. Gwen Stefani. But it was too bright for me.

Still, I have to admit I liked it. Even if it was too fierce, the lipstick served a purpose, providing an instant and welcome change, like a new haircut. It made me want to wear deeper lipstick shades this fall, albeit in sheerer formulas.

Reader, I bought it.


original New York Times article

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Group Information
The Alpha Omega Society is a non-profit social support group for heterosexual crossdressers and their wives or partners. We primarily serve Cleveland and nearby Northeast Ohio communities.

Publication Information
This newsletter is copyright 2007 by The Alpha Omega Society. All rights reserved. Articles and information contained in this newsletter may be reprinted by other non-profit crossdresser organizations with advance permission of the author and provided that proper credit is given to author and source. The opinions or statements contained in this newsletter are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Alpha Omega.

Contributions of articles are welcomed, but may be altered in the editing process, with the author’s intent retained, or may be rejected, whether solicited or not. We will exchange newsletters with any other similar group.

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