Newsletter
ARCHIVE

[Upfront] The Month
[First Person] Just Do It!
[Viewpoint] A Study in Contrasts
[Life] Comments & Stories
[Bits & Pieces] Diane's Frankness
[The Buzz] Think Local - Club News
[Last Laugh] The Glass Stairway

[Upfront]
THE MONTH

First-time contributor and new AO member, Chloe Prince, tells us about garnering the courage to attend her first meeting.

All CD's are just like me! Diane Frank shares the comments of two CD's who each think they have the lock on this phenomena, and shares her thoughts too.

Gloria Fenton is back and brings us her life stories.

There's humor and more.

Enjoy!

Elaine

[First Person]
JUST DO IT!

By Chloe PRINCE

Ok, you’re thinking about taking that next step, but you’re scared...

THIS LETTER IS FOR YOU!

Congratulations! You found the Alpha Omega newsletter and website! I’m guessing you're either a crossdresser, or the spouse of one. Either way we want to hear from you, and that is why I have written this letter.

You may be considering taking that first step toward contacting Alpha Omega, or even coming to your first meeting. But you’re not sure what to expect.

This article is for the crossdresser and their spouse who might be interested to know what it's like to go from thinking about coming to a meeting, to actually going to one, and even becoming a member.

Hello, my name is Chloe Prince.

For me, crossdressing was always more of a part-time thing that I did around the house. I have been married now for more than five years and we have children. I had confided to my wife at the beginning of our marriage that I was a crossdresser. I kept my dressing private and inside our home or far away from it in another city. My desire had not yet manifested into “Chloe”, but the desire was coming to a boil.

I wasn’t sure where I could go with all this, so I decided to seek out some places I could. I did an internet search and I found the Alpha-Omega and Tri-Ess groups. For the first few months, maybe even a year, I just read the articles, and continued to check back in for updates to the site. Then one day, I was just having one of those days that felt like if I don’t express myself outwardly, I would die. So, late one night, I decided to contact the group with an email requesting more information.

The next morning, I thought back over my decision to send that first email. I kept thinking, oh god, what have I gotten myself into? After work that day, I came home to find that I had a reply email, and quickly read it. The replay was very discreet, polite and comforting. Just (letting it out) through email was a huge load off! After a few more contacts with the group, I was asked to attend a meeting with the group. For a few weeks, I considered the offer. I was nervous to leave the house and expose myself to strangers over the internet. All my worst fears stormed to the front of any rational thought. I worried that the group was some how a trick, to expose me, and even out to physically harm me. I worried about being caught.

After talking about it with my wife, I decided to email back my response to accept the offer to attend a meeting.

The group goes to great length to protect its members, so a PRE-SCREENING meeting is set up before you are actually accepted into the group for a first meeting. I was told to come as my MALE self. (Yikes!)

Now I have to expose my male identity!?! This made me even more nervous. The worries that this was all somehow a trick (or worse), all came back 1000 times bigger now! So I debated and debated and debated. Finally, I crossed my fingers and decided to meet the contact person from the group at a public place. We met at a McDonalds Restaurant. All the way there and even pulling into the parking lot my stomach was in knots! My honor and sense of responsibility would not allow me to turn around. After all, this person from the group had taken the time to meet me, I don’t want to waste their time or burn a bridge. AND, really, what’s the worst that can happen in a McDonalds anyway? It’s not like they can take away my birthday or anything.

I was greeted by the contact member with the same caution and hesitation that I was feeling. The member comforted my fears, and reassured me that I have already taken the biggest step. The step “into the light”. AND... let me tell you... that step... for me... was very hard.

You see not only does that first meeting with a member help to screen its members, but it also will help you too.

If you are truly serious, and ready for the experience, support, personal rewards and all the new friends you will make that share your same desire to crossdress then...

PLEASE TAKE THAT FIRST STEP!!!!

Ok, so the pre-screen meeting went great. My fears were completely washed away! It was a little awkward at first, but in the end I felt fulfilled and uplifted that I had made contact.

As it happened, my wife became pregnant for a second time, and I decide to put my crossdressing on hold for the next two years. That was in the fall of 2003. I never did get to attend my first meeting. But what I did take away from that first screening was a lasting impression that I had stumbled on to something very positive!

Ok, fast forward to November 2005. I decided to get back in touch with the group, and of course they had not forgotten about me, and I was invited to attend my first meeting, which also happen to be the Christmas party. (That’s right I said Christmas party, and not Holiday party. I never said I was politically correct... don’t get me started on that... Oh yeah, anyway where was I?)

In the past two years, I have grown out my hair, refined my wardrobe and makeup, chosen my name (Chloe) and even gained a little more confidence. Finally my wife says to me, “You should try and get in touch with that group again.” So I did.

I got dressed, got in the car and drove to the meeting. It was snowing like crazy that night. When I arrived at the meeting site, I was nervous…. I considered turning around and leaving. I even called my wife. She was supportive. She said, “you need to do this.” She was right.

I don’t know why I was worried. Once I got out of the car, and went inside, I was met with warm friendly welcoming faces. The group immediately made every effort to make me feel right at home. I wasn’t the only new person there that night either. Once I sat down, ate with the group, I began to talk to the other members and then it happened. My fears were completely wiped away, and I realized that everything was going to be ok.

After the meeting, I felt personally refilled. It was a little easier after that meeting to keep Chloe under control from bleeding over into my MALE life which involves my wife and children, friends, etc. (More on that in later articles to come).

After a few more meetings, my wife attended with me, and got a chance to speak with the other wives of crossdressers. She admitted to me that she had the same fears as I did on my first night. She too was quickly swallowed up into the support and understanding, from other wives, and her opinions of stereotypical crossdressers from television quickly melted away! She was very impressed with all the members’ ability to blend and pass. In addition, she found that these are good and caring people that listen and understand.

By no means is everything ok because she and I attended a few meetings, but things ARE getting better. We have a new understanding and a willingness to meet each other half way.

If you’re a crossdresser or the wife of one, do your self a favor, contact the group and attend a few meetings. This group has no egos, and they don’t judge you! Don’t fear not being “passable” or too old or too young. The group offers you the chance to “step out” and still be able to keep your privacy, and return to your male lifestyle the next day with no one the wiser.

The members will even email you and offer support until you are ready to take the step to attend a meeting.

You will make friends! You will have opportunities you could never have just sitting in front of your computer.

I’ve recently been appointed the “Event & Social Coordinator.” (Or something like that) If you’re like me, you’ll want to start going out and doing more. I am looking into events and outings in “safe places” that we can all attend. Every thing from shopping, nail and hair styling, to shows, and events local and national.

In any event, thank you for taking the time to read this, and we look forward to you contacting us!

Chloe Prince, New Member of the Alpha-Omega Society!

[Viewpoint]
A STUDY IN CONTRASTS

by Diane FRANK

Here are two people writing about crossdressing on the web from very different viewpoints. My issue with them both is that they write and act as if the other wasn’t real.

Read for yourself:

---
Hello,

I am enjoying your book [note: referring to My Husband Betty... dsf] but must say I have to laugh at how seriously everyone takes this whole issue.

Are CDs really tormented about their favorite pastime? I’m not and neither are my CD friends.

We have more fun and meet more people en femme than we ever do as males. I personally believe I am trying to accomplish a few things by crossdressing. In my opinion, genetic females have somewhat lost touch with their femininity and are somewhat gender-neutral these days — sorry but not sexy to this boy-girl! I am attempting to create something of an ideal woman by crossdressing given my limitations of course. And I do mean in a sexy and retro-glamorous way, not in a real world nurture the children kind of way.

I created a ‘’second self'’ at least partially due to my not being able to find such a female counterpart as I have yearned for. To my knowledge I did not initially do this to attract men. However, I found that I did attract them. My femme-self ended up getting into sexual relationships with men as a result of this. I had previously lived primarily as a heterosexual although I had tried but not particularly enjoyed homosexual activities 2 or 3 times previously.

I definitely enjoy expressing my femme sexuality with men. In a way, the men I have sex with represent the masculine part of myself and my femme self represents the idealized female I have never met. I experience my glamour goddess fantasy directly while dressed and indirectly as a male by the response of males to my femme self. Personally, I have never met a truly heterosexual crossdresser and am cynical that they truly exist - in my opinion this may represent repression more than reality on the part of the cd who believes they are straight.

I haven’t really met gay CDs either - only bisexual ones like myself. My partners are far and away more often male but that’s because when I go out in a dress men approach me and women are not typically available. I am more than happy to engage in sex with both. However, at this point I probably enjoy males more because they approach and appear to appreciate me more than females.

Love fetish. Can’t believe so many CDs think they have a problem - as your book pointed out at this point - being a CD isn’t the problem, being in a society that is not well-adjusted to diversity is the problem.

Will probably feel forced to write again as I read more. Loving the book but laughing at the serious way everyone takes it. Relax, put on those heels, and go CD girls!

By the way, I do not care one bit about passing. I am not trying to delude anyone into thinking I am female. I do not hide my penis or wear fake boobies. I do tend to play down by masculine arms and torso with loose fitting sheer blouses and shawls over tight sexy dresses that are often sheer themselves.

All you gotta do is love it baby, go out but stay safe in a freaked-out world, and have fun fun fun!!!!

Victoria
---

And then there is this:

---
Guys just wanna have fun!

By Jacqueline Froelich
Updated: 4/27/2006

“Am I gay? Darlin’, I’m 6-foot-3, 220 pounds and am a 23-year law enforcement veteran!”

[Note: This is a complete non-sequiter as there is nothing that keeps a big law enforcement veteran from being gay... dsf]

Smith is a self-described truck-drivin’ bubba who lives in rural Carroll County. But on special occasions, Officer Sam Smith adores putting on party dresses, high heels, makeup, a shiny wig, and being called “Rebecca.”

Smith (not his real name) is also happily married to a woman and 100 percent heterosexual.

Smith is a cross-dresser. And he loves the company of other cross-dressers. So twice a year, he and his wife, Dixie, organize “En Femme Getaways” — cross-dressing vacations hosted by the Basin Park Hotel in downtown Eureka Springs.

“Cross-dressing amongst men is one of the best kept secrets,” Smith said with a deep drawl, “right up there with how to build an atomic bomb.”

Transgender research reveals that as many as 50 percent of men have cross-dressed and that most cross-dressers are straight married men.

[Note: What research? And what makes someone straight? dsf]

Those who wear women’s clothing for sexual arousal are termed transvestites.

[Note: As we all know the labels aren’t stable and this is by no means well accepted... dsf]

Gay men can also be cross-dressers, but most tend toward the drag side of the spectrum.

Cross-dressers wear women’s clothes because it just feels good, said Smith, not for sexual release.

“And that’s been the biggest problem,” said his wife, Dixie. “When Sam told me on our third date that he was a cross-dresser, I started digging around to learn what I was getting into. I got mad because all I could find online was porn.”

So Dixie decided to put together her own website, for girlfriends and wives struggling to come to terms with their partners’ predilection.

“I named it ‘cross-dressers secret garden,’ ” she said. “I provide good, clean information.”

Dixie also facilitates an online chat forum that has more than 1,500 members. “It’s one of the most active, clean Yahoo groups out there,” she boasted.

And so are the “En Femme Getaways.”

Hundreds of cross-dressers, most conservative men with professional jobs, along with their wives or girlfriends, spend five days together in full regalia enjoying fine dining, dialogue, and dancing.

“We also put on lots of special activities, like makeover sessions, fashion shows, an Ozark-style chicken dinner, and lots of shopping, of course,” Smith said. “And on Saturday night we throw a formal gala banquet, followed by a champagne brunch late Sunday morning.”

Smith said the “girls,” as he refers to them, love the opportunity to dress up for days on end and freely walk the streets of Eureka without being hassled.

“Eureka allows everyone to be who they are,” Smith said. “It’s wonderful. And the staff of the Basin Park Hotel always welcomes us with open arms.”

Cross-dressing conventions are held in Chicago, Los Angeles, even Atlanta every year. “But ours is a vacation, not a seminar held in the ‘closet’ of [a] huge hotel,” Smith said.

While some of getaway-goers “pass” — or look like women — most look like men dressed up in women’s clothing, Smith said. Even then, they are not mocked on the streets of Eureka.

They come here for the same reason that a large population of gays and lesbians have moved to the historic spa community: Everyone is accepted.

Smith is confident and comfortable enough now to publicly advertise the transgender vacation. He has even asked the city of Eureka Springs to list “En Femme” on its calendar of events. And the guys are coming — from as far away as Africa, Ireland and Canada.

First organized as a casual gathering of friends, “En Femme” is now held twice a year, in late April and around Halloween.

“Halloween is the great holiday of all cross-dressers,” said Smith. “Halloween is the one day when any man can go out dressed as a woman, and no one will look at him twice.” At Halloween parties across America everyone laughs at the dude in the dress.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, cross-dressers suffer from a gender identity disorder. Even though homosexuality was stricken from the list of psychological disorders in the 1970s, transgenderism, which covers cross-dressers, transvestites, and transsexuals, falls under the rubric of “gender dysphoria,” a mental illness.

[Note: This isn’t strictly speaking true either. The DSM says as follows regarding Transvestitic Fetishism:

But cross-dressers like Sam Smith insist they are perfectly normal, well-adjusted citizens.

[Note: The flip side of this is the well documented complaints by wives that their so-called straight crossdressing husbands don’t seem to be ‘normal’ in bed... dsf]

“Cross-dressing is not a fetish,” Smith said. “Cross-dressing is simply an attraction to things that are feminine, usually expressed in the form of clothing.”

Still he concedes there is little science explaining what compels heterosexual men to cross-dress.

“Some consider it a hormonal wash that occurs during the third trimester of pregnancy,” Smith said. “And some research said it may be genetics, that you are born with the propensity to cross-dress — just like you are born a woman, born black, or born gay.”

He said the “En Femme Getaways,” now in their 10th year, resonate like a family reunion.

“And we conduct ourselves in a civil manner,” said Smith. “The town accepts us. We like to associate.”
---

So here you have it. Two very different points of view, both suffused with narrow viewpoints and inaccurate facts, and neither acknowledges the existence of the other.

Diane

[Life]
COMMENTS AND STORIES

By Gloria FENTON

“You look better in my dress than I do.”
“Your legs are prettier than mine.”
“You are more feminine than I am.”
“You even walk like a woman.”
“You know how to wear more make up than I do.”
“No man should have legs that pretty.”
“You are a male woman.”
“Your legs are too pretty to be a man’s legs.”
“You walk in high heels better than I do.”
“I have a problem seeing you with breasts.”
“I can’t stand seeing you wear pierced earrings.”
“You really do make a rather beautiful woman.”
“You look just like me (in panties, pantyhose, and a bra).”
“You being a woman is what’s real. You being a man is a pretense.”
“You know more about wigs than most women.”
“You wear my clothes as well as I do.”
“In my mind’s eye, you are a woman.”
“When I see you, even as a man, all I see is a woman.”
“I wish my legs looked like yours.”
“Your figure is better than mine.”
“You have a woman’s hips.”
“You look too real.”
“You look better in a dress than most women do.”
“When you’re a woman, you really are a woman.”
“Wow!”

Over the years I have heard every one of the above comments. Sometimes some of the comments were said in jest, or as compliments. But, mostly, I have heard every one of those comments said in total seriousness. Sometimes the comments were said while mixed with tears. Sometimes, they were even said in anger or frustration, as part of an argument, or in the aftermath of an argument.

My first wife Sandy, my second wife Ellen, and even Kathy, did at least once tell me that they thought I looked better in one of their dresses than they did. All three of them, at one time or another, told me that they thought my legs were prettier than theirs. So have other women. Though I knew better, to Ellen, I was more feminine than she felt she was. Sandy, Ellen, and Kathy have all told me I walk like a woman. Others have told me that, too, sometimes, as Martin.

I did know how to put on and wear more make up than Ellen did. I taught her about putting on foundation, eye shadow, mascara, and blush. Sandy taught Martin about wearing her make up, by letting him watch her put her make up on. As a five-year-old boy, Martin was teased about having girl’s legs. Even in seventh, eighth, and ninth grades, in gym classes, Martin was told my legs were too pretty to be boy’s legs. That taunt has followed Martin and me for years. Even just a few years ago, Martin wore tights as part of a Halloween costume, and several women and guys told him his legs were too pretty to be a man’s legs.

Ellen was the one who called Martin a male woman, and she was not joking when she said it. Ellen and some other women have told me that I walk better in high heels than they did. Sandy was the first to tell Martin that she had a problem seeing him with breasts (even if they were padding). Ellen only commented that Martin’s breasts were as real as hers, and that he had more cleavage than she did. It did not help that Martin wore no padding when he wore Ellen’s bras, and she knew it.

Ellen had a major problem seeing Martin wearing pierced earrings, since her ears were not pierced. Martin stopped wearing pierced earrings. I pierced my ears again after Ellen and Martin divorced. Ironically, so did Ellen. Sandy saw Martin completely dressed as a woman just before they separated, and told him he looked too pretty, but it was Ellen who told him that he made a rather beautiful woman.

Even though she knew Martin was changing into her clothes, Ellen came into the bedroom one time and saw him in her panties, pantyhose, and bra. His body was also hairless. That was when Ellen looked him all over and said, “You look just like me.” To Ellen, he looked as female as her. Ellen was the one who told Martin that his being a woman was his true self, and that his being a man was the real pretense. When Ellen asked for a divorce years later, she told him that again. She said that she could not love another woman.

It was Ellen again who told Martin that he knew more about wigs than most women. Martin had four wigs at the time. Ellen even asked Martin if she could wear his wigs, and she did wear two of them. Ellen had really long hair at the time, but got a lot of compliments when wearing one of Martin’s wigs. The wig color was the same as her hair color. Ellen had her hair cut and styled to look like Martin’s wig.

Both Sandy and Ellen told Martin that he knew how to put on and wear their clothes as well as they did. After Ellen and Martin were divorced, Ellen did tell Martin that in her mind’s eye, that he was a woman, and had felt that way from the first time she had seen him dressed up, before they were married. That was also when Ellen said that even when she saw Martin as a man, that all she saw was a woman.

Several women have said that they wished their legs looked like mine. As far as my figure, both Sandy and Ellen, at least once, told Martin that as a woman, he had a better figure in their clothes than they did. Sandy was the first to tell Martin that he had a woman’s hips when she saw him model a pair of her jeans for her. Sandy also had full hips. Sandy had told Martin that her measurements were 36-25-39. Once Martin began wearing Sandy’s clothes, he measured himself one time. His measurements were 36-26-38. Sandy’s clothes were a perfect fit. And Ellen said Martin filled out her stretch slacks, as well.

To Ellen, Martin, as a woman, was too real. Sandy told me first that I looked better in a dress than most women did. Ellen told me that too, and a few others have said it over the years. It was early on in the relationship that Ellen told Martin that when he dressed as a woman, that he really was a woman.

Over the years when someone has seen Martin or me, as a woman for the first time, I heard “Wow”, or “Oh, my God”, or other similar phrases. Sometimes the comments were meant kindly, but sometimes they weren’t. A few comments that I have heard, are not printable, such as the very first words I heard Sandy say when she saw Martin totally dressed as a woman for the first time. Other comments have cut like a knife. No matter how hard he tried, Martin could never prove to Ellen, the man he was once she saw him as a woman. She said she did love him, but to her, he was the other woman that she could not compete with. To her, loving Martin meant loving another woman, and that she was not a lesbian and could not do it.

I know that everyone of you has heard your own share of comments over the years. And I am sure the women that share, or have shared our lives, have said or thought many things. There is a story, or sometimes, many stories in my life to go with the comments that I have told you about in this article. I’ll tell you some, sometime. How about sharing some of your stories.

All My Love, Glo

[Bits & Pieces]

By Diane FRANK

Pass/No Pass
I failed another gender test the other day. I attended a day-time function because the topic of discussion interested me. I lowered the average age of the women there by quite a bit and there were maybe 3-4 men in attendance, keeping a low and sheepish profile. Neither the topic nor the organization matter to this note. What does matter is what happened at the end, after a nice light lunch. A local middle school chorus serenaded us, and led us in a sing-along afterwards. The singing wasn’t good. A bunch of children trying not to sing louder than their neighbor so they couldn’t be identified, mumbling and all singing in unison. The songs for the sing-along were grammar school standards. I found experience a grim forshadowing of what life in a nursing home might be like. I sardonically remarked to the woman next to me that I thought this sort of thing was outlawed by the Geneva Conventions and I got a blank look. I think I was in a distinct minority on this one…hence I failed another gender test.

Ciné Kinky
“Kinky Boots” is another British class/social drama in the venerable tradition of “Brassed-Off”, “Billy Elliot” and “The Full Monty”. The gimmick this time is the attempted rescue of a shoe factory from the onslaught of cheap foreign imports by the initially unenthusiastic fourth generation son of the founding family. Loosely (very loosely) based on a true story, the chance encounter with a flamboyant if troubled drag queen generates the idea of making boots for the “tranny” and fetish market in England. All in all it’s a predictable, enjoyable film. But I’d like to focus on one particular bit which may be a bit enlightening and this focuses on some red shoes and some red boots.

I’ve remarked in my review of Transamerica how on occasion the screenplay puts in some scenes or lines here and there that tell us how we’re supposed to think. “Kinky Boots” is much more subtle. There is a sub-plot involving the conflict between the heir to the shoe factory and his fiancé, Melanie. She’s a bright, energetic woman with very strong material and life-style desires. Initially, Charlie Price (that’s his name) is much of the same mind, strongly wanting to get away from the shoe factory. But when he inherits it, he develops a commitment to the workers. Melanie has been admiring a pair of red, Jimmy Cho shoes in a shop window, the purchase of which is very much contingent on their personal finances. Lola, the drag queen has been designing boots that people will buy, red boots, “two and a half feet of red, tubular sex”.

Melanie, being a modern woman, stops waiting for distracted Charlie to buy her the shoes that symbolize everything she wants in life and gets them herself. She also starts secretly dating the developer who wants to turn the shoe factory into stylish condominiums. She’s caught out at this by Charlie and he finds her Red shoe left behind, like a Cinderella’s glass slipper. When she retrieves the red shoe, she tells Charlie, “I can’t change what I want,” as a last note to their now ended relationship.

I wonder how many people heard this the way I did. I bit of dialogue that Lola, the drag queen could have said, or I could have said, or you could have. But instead it’s put in the mouth of the most ordinary, straight character in the whole movie. I rather like that. It’s much more subtle than the direct preaching in Transamerica. And maybe it’s more effective that way.

[The Buzz]
THINK LOCAL

May 13th Meeting:
Fare

[Last Laugh]
THE GLASS STAIRWAY

[click on comic to see full size]

Alpha Omega is a non-profit social support group for heterosexual crossdressers and their wives or partners. Also, members from related organizations, helping professionals, and approved guests are welcome when cleared through Alpha Omega’s officers. We serve Cleveland and nearby Northeast Ohio communities.

Meetings are the second Saturday evening of each month unless a special event is scheduled that takes the place of the regularly scheduled meeting. The location of the meeting or event is only released to members or others with the approval of an officer. Members and visitors must be 18 years of age or older.

This newsletter is copyright 1998-2006 by The Alpha Omega Society. All rights reserved. Articles and information contained in this newsletter may be reprinted by other non-profit crossdresser organizations with advance permission of the author AND provided a copy of the issue containing the reprinted material is sent to Alpha Omega within two months after the material is published and proper credit is given to author and source. The opinions or statements contained in this newsletter are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Alpha Omega.

Contributions of articles are welcomed, but may be altered in the editing process, with the author’s intent retained, or may be rejected, whether solicited or not. Absolutely no sexually explicit material may be accepted or printed.

We will exchange newsletters with any other similar group. Send all correspondence to Alpha Omega, P.O. Box 2053, Sheffield Lake, OH 44054.

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