^{La Femme} Silhouette

 October 2003

Masthead 2003

Editorial- Gloria
Minutes-Kathleen
All Ohio TG/CD Support Forum-by Abby
THE ALPHA OMEGA SOCIETY AWARDS FOR 2003
SHOWTIME
Amy Bloom Coming to Town
Bits and Pieces- By Diane Frank
Act like a woman
Upcoming Local Events- Diane
Upcoming National Events
Upcoming Meetings
Publication Notice and Club Policies

A while back I remember the question being asked about what, if anything, made Alpha Omega different from other similar groups today. And, lately, I've heard an old question being asked again. That question basically asks why is Alpha Omega relevant or needed today.

Call it idealistic, but I would like to think that I can answer both questions with one word. That word is "Family". When I first joined Alpha Omega, getting information about cross dressing and cross dressing groups was nowhere near as simple as it is today. And when I did find the information for Alpha Omega, my only means of contact was to write a letter, and then wait for an answer.

I remember being scared to death about mailing out a letter to a group I knew very little about with my own name and address on it. And then waiting two weeks for a reply from what was, in essence, a total stranger who now knew my deepest life secret. When I did get my reply, I still had to rely on mailed letters at first to stay in contact. Then came phone calls, and my eventual interview for the group. This all took almost a couple months of time.

When I did attend my first meeting, Alpha Omega was still meeting in people's homes, which was scary in itself for a real novice like me. I really had little idea what kind of a group Alpha Omega was, or what went on at meetings. I still knew so little about cross dressing itself because there wasn't much available information. Getting information, and then
reaching out to join a group required a tremendous leap of faith, and, yes, even courage.

My reply from Alpha Omega came from Tanya Brown, and I remember reading her letter over and over. It was
Tanya's handwritten letter to me, and then the caring that I heard in her voice when we started calling, that led me to want to join Alpha Omega for more help.

Even our Society, just fifteen years ago, had little knowledge or tolerance of cross dressing; and I was well aware of that. But I did make the leap of faith, and did attend my first Alpha Omega meeting. And Alpha Omega did live up to its promise of understanding and acceptance of my cross dressing, and helping to give me more knowledge about cross 
dressing.

But Alpha Omega gave me one thing more that I desperately needed. If that one element had not been there, I could have very easily have drifted back into the woodwork of Society, and maybe never discovered myself as a human being. That element, that feeling that I felt, was that as a part of Alpha Omega, I was part of something far greater than just a cross
dressing group. That feeling was what gave me the strength to tell my family, just three weeks after my first Alpha Omega meeting that not only was there Martin, but me as Gloria as well. 

It took me a while to figure out what that feeling that I felt was, and when I did, I took it to heart, and have long since striven to let others know that same feeling. That feeling was "family". It was the same feeling that I felt from my parents, and my brothers, and my sister-in-law as Martin. It was the same feeling that my parents, my brothers, and my sister-in-law so freely gave me as Gloria. It was a feeling that there was love and caring that I existed as a human being, and that I was not, nor would ever feel alone again. That is what family is, and what family does.

And for me, that is what Alpha Omega is, and should be for all of us, and for those yet to be a part of us. That feeling of "family" is what can and does make Alpha Omega distinctive and relevant at all times. Nowadays the internet can open so many doors to information and contacts for and about cross dressing for everyone. Even our Society does tend to have more knowledge, understanding, and, yes, even tolerance of cross dressing.

The world is a whole lot different than just fifteen years ago, and groups are not as necessary for many, as they perhaps were. Times have changed, attitudes have changed, needs have changed, and people have changed. If Alpha Omega were just a "cross dressing group" today, then I would agree that our need to anyone was very limited. But to me Alpha Omega never  was just a "cross dressing group", for cross dressers only. Alpha Omega was for me a family of friends who
let me learn about and discover who I was and could be, as a person, as they discovered themselves. 

Alpha Omega didn't let me be a cross dresser, Alpha Omega let me be Gloria. When I attend an AO meeting,
I don't see cross dressers and spouses, I see equal partners in something wonderful. AO is not just a melding of people whose lives are affected by cross dressing; AO is the union of a family of friends in a spirit of love and caring for each other. This "family" is what is our uniqueness as a group, and why we are relevant now and for the future.

We can accomplish our goals as a group. We can be there for those who are a part of our family now and in the future. And we can change the world and make it better for all of us, as a family. The one constant I have always known as Martin and as Gloria was that my family was always there for me. That is what Alpha Omega can give to others. At least that's what I think and feel. How about you? 

Love Always,
Gloria

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There are no minutes for October, since we had a dinner and theatre outing.

Next Meeting, Saturday, November 1^st, 2003.

All Ohio TG/CD Support Forum-by Abby

On September 27^th, I ventured to Columbus to take in the All Ohio TG/CD Support forum. It was conceived and sponsored by The Crystal Club. It was open to any and all in the TG community in Ohio, as well as anyone who shared interest in their support.

It was held in the First Congregational Church in downtown Columbus, A glorious old building, and surprisingly huge.

Many tables staffed by support factions were set up around the auditorium, all with literature to take along, and someone you could speak with about their purpose and goals. Several vendors were also there, including local Mary Kay Representatives ( who would make you over if you so desired) and a laser hair removal rep.

Some of the more interesting support organizations in attendance were:

BRAVO( Buckeye regional Anti-Violence Organization) This group exists to serve those who are victims of hate crimes. They are staffed with volunteers from around Ohio.

HRC (Human Rights Campaign) This group works with a lobbyist in the statehouse to help promote laws that will help to ensure that the civil and natural rights of the transgendered community. They were asking for a donation of $250 per year to offset the cost of the lobbyist (Which they say is a minimum of $5000 a year for their services).Since they realized that this isn’t something everyone can afford to do, they had suggested that each support group collect money and join as a group.

FUSION Fusion is a group operated in conjunction with Ohio Sate University’s GLBT student group, and works to promote understanding and education by and through the university.

LEAGUE League is a group within the employees and management of AT&T. This group was formed to promote workplace rights for GLBT within AT&T. They help with support for Gay and Lesbian individuals who are struggling with their identity, as well as providing professional and support help for transgendered individuals who are in transition. They have local groups situated across the country within the company. They are truly pioneers in their efforts.

Most of the TG/CD support groups in Ohio were in attendance. Crossport from Cincinnati, Valley Gems from Dayton, CLE from Cleveland, Alpha Omega, and of course Crystal Club, from Columbus. Paradise and Transpride were the only groups who did not have a representative in attendance.

Light snacks and soft drinks were provided by Crystal Club, as well as a list of Tg friendly restaurants, bars, and clubs located throughout the city. Most of those in attendance took in at least some of the entertainment later in the evening.

The Crystal Club hopes that this can become a yearly event, with each group around Ohio taking a turn at sponsoring it in their area in alternating years. Perhaps in the future Alpha Omega can extend ourselves to the statewide community as well.

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THE ALPHA OMEGA SOCIETY AWARDS FOR 2003

As part of the 2003 Christmas Party there will be an Awards Ceremony to honor individuals who have been
selected by our members on the basis of outstanding service to the Alpha Omega Society during the past
year. Anyone who is a member of the Alpha Omega Society is eligible to be voted for on an equal basis.
The top three individuals voted for by our membership will be given special recognition and a Certificate of
Honor during the awards ceremony.

These awards are a way for us all to say thank you to the individuals who go beyond the call of duty in
their efforts for our members and for Alpha Omega Society as a whole. On the ballot below list three
Alpha Omega Society members who you feel have demonstrated outstanding dedication and support to the
success of our group through their service in this past year.
 
Ballots must be turned in no later than at the November 1st Alpha Omega Society meeting. Paper
ballots will be available at the November meeting for those attending. Ballots may also be mailed to the
Alpha Omega mailing address before the deadline, or emailed to my attention as Chairperson of the
Christmas Party Committee. 

I have asked Deborah Benton to tabulate the results of the balloting. Please take the time to vote for those
individuals you feel deserve to be honored this year. 

Respectfully,
Gloria Sue Fenton

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SHOWTIME

On the evening of October 11th, I had the distinct honor of being the escort for five beautiful ladies for a most enjoyable dining experience. And then, as if that was not enough, to top off my evening our entourage was joined by four more beautiful ladies as we gathered for a night at the theater. Jean, Denise, Kathy, Pamela, and Abigail were most divine dining companions. And then to be joined by Sherry, Abby,
Sheila and Elaine for the theater was an experience I shall treasure forever. Gloria, someone as you know is very near and dear to my heart, was unable to attend as was Diane Brennan. But I know their presence was there in spirit.

The purpose of our gathering at the theater was to not only attend the play Victor/Victoria; but to enjoy the performance of our own Diane Frank as a member of the play's cast. The play was wonderful. And seeing our own genteel Diane Frank as a bawdy, drunken, drag queen was a personal highlight of the evening. Gloria tells me that she may be able to work such a characterization into one of her skits sometime, just so Diane can reprise the role in an Alpha Omega production. I'm sure she will be honored to do so. (Of course...dsf)

And after the experience, our humble star of the show, took time to personally autograph theater programs for us all.

Let me thank Pamela for making the dining reservations, and Diane Brennan for procuring the theater tickets for us. I know Diane Frank truly loved her acting experience, and she can take pride in it. Being able to share time with friends that evening made it very special for me, as I hope it was for all. Opportunities like this, are times I know that Gloria hopes can become an experience of being a part of the Alpha Omega family for all our friends.

I thank you ladies for the privilege of being your escort on that special evening.

Most respectfully,
Martin

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Amy Bloom will be speaking at Case Western Reserve on Wednesday, October 29^th, 2003. I'll be there. The sponsoring organization is the Ohio Society of Clinical Social Workers. Since I've had no replies from the people I e-mailed for speakers
for the meeting, I'm going to try to rustle up a last minute speaker from that group, to talk on the topic I'd suggested "Dealing with Feelings".

Here's the full blurb as best I have it now:

Amy Bloom, the Author of "Normal", a book that deals with FtM transsexuals, heterosexual crossdressers and intersexual advocates who oppose involuntary surgery on intersexed infants, will be speaking at the Mandel School
forApplied Social Sciences of Case Western Reserve University (10900 Euclid Ave.) on Wednesday, October 29th.

I have two different reports of the time, one at 7-8:30 and one at 7:30 to 9. The talk is free, and sponsored by the Ohio Society of Clinical Social Workers and the room is reported to be 320
B/C.

Ms. Bloom’s views of conservative heterosexual CDs are controversial. Hear her for yourself and make up your own mind.

Diane

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Now that Victor/Victoria is over, you would think I’d have lots of time to write down everything. But I haven’t.

I had a cast party for the V/V crew at my house after the last performance, something I very much enjoyed doing. And one of the cast, as he said goodbye said he hoped I’d been treated as I’d wished to be treated. I was thinking about writing an article about this. I’m torn about a truthful as opposed to a polite answer. The truthful answer is that I wish I could have been seamlessly and invisibly a woman in that performance. But failing that, the truth is that I couldn’t have been treated better. Not once was I asked a question related to my choice of clothing or my motives. My conversations with my fellow cast members were about either the mundane details of daily life, like what we suffered ourselves to do when we weren’t acting...or about the show, or theatre gossip. Pronouns to be sure were mixed...but that isn’t something I invest any effort in trying to force. Some cast members brought their children backstage before performances or to rehearsal. No one hid me from their children or vice versa. I was always included in anything the rest of the cast did after the show. The closest anyone else came to remarking on my special status, was when I remarked to one actor that I’d left a bar early one night because I thought two particular people were there to pick a fight. He said to me, "You shouldn’t have worried , Diane, we’ve got your back". Wow!

Which reminds me of one other thing. You might be amazed to learn that I’ve never done musical theatre before. You might then want to ask all the usual questions about stage fright. But I didn’t worry, because in every scene I was working with really experience professional people who I could rely on in case I got in trouble with a line (not that I had that many....thank goodness!). They had my back there too.

I’ve talked with some of you about how one of my projects has been to define what people who crossdress, for whatever reason, can do with their lives. How often do we hear...ok I’m coming to terms with wearing a dress, now what? The business of writing articles has empowered me to go places and find that it can be done. My participation in committee work at the Akron Pride Center and the LGBT Center in Cleveland shows that there are places where we can do meaningful work as part of our self-expression. My membership in my synagogue, Chevrei Tikva, has not only been spiritually nourishing, but personally fulfilling in the friendships I’ve developed with all its members, gay, lesbian, straight (yes, there are straight members) and trans. And now I’ve found another community in the actors and players of Cleveland.

The last thing I want to imply is that this is a path that anyone else can or should follow. I hear too often that "x" means you should do "y". I don’t think so. What I hope is that people who read about my choices and experiences can find in them the motivation to take some chances themselves, to answer their own questions about "Now what do I do with this? How do I make it a positive part of my life, something that adds value to it?"

As a last note under my thoughts coming out of
Victor/Victoria I want to recognize the courteous reception I received at Nordstroms (Beachwood Place) and Solomon’s Corset shop (Eaton Collection in Woodmere). I went to Nordstroms in order to get sheer red hose to go with the red sequined outfit from the bar fight scene. Because of the all the running around in that scene I was running a pair of hose an night. I went to Solomon’s to get proper foundation garments that didn’t show through the white sequined number for the opening and closing scenes, and provided proper support during all that running around. Putting that gown on, with all that fringe added to it, was a learning experience. The gown was a pure sheath, with no zippers, buttons or hooks. But I finally did learn to get it on and off quickly without needing help. Something like a snake shedding it’s skin. Getting back to Solomon’s- I talked with the owner herself, and she told me flat out that although they couldn’t let us use dressing rooms for fittings we were always welcome there.

Nordstroms

Beachwood Place (#227)
26200 Cedar Road
Beachwood, OH 44122
(216) 378-2121
M-Sat 10:00 - 9:00 Sun 12:00 - 6:00

Solomon's Corset Shop
at Eton Collection
28699 Chagrin Boulevard
Woodmere, Ohio 44122
(216) 464-1080
1-800-829-1081 (Outside Cuyahoga County)
info@solomonscorsetshop.com

Also in town during October was a Kabuki artist from Japan who specialized in female roles- an Onnagata. I took extensive notes on the performance, but I’m going to work from memory right now and summarize.

A female prostitute in old Japan, ironically enough, originated kabuki. She apparently also did a cross gender performance, doing a bawdy impression of Portuguese sailors. Women performers were quickly banned because of the prostitution, and then the young boys who took their place were also banned for the same reason: only male actors over 25 (I think) were allowed to play women’s parts. Now Onnagata roles are passed down in families, and are heavy with tradition.

The auditorium at John Carrol was packed, and even with a TV camera projecting a large image it was sometimes difficult to make out what was going on, even with my seat relatively close to the front. There was also a lack of harmony between the translator and Mr. Umenosuke, as she was unable to wait for him to finish his very long descriptions or answers to questions, while he was unable to provide gaps in his responses for her to translate up to that point. The appearance was also covered by Carolyn Jack of the Plain Dealer, however, she wasn’t well situated and missed most of Umenosuke’s comments.

Onoe Umenosuke is in his early 40’s by my guess. His manner on stage initially was quite friendly and flirtatious. As he worked his transformation from male to female however he became more and more serious.

The makeup for Onnagata is painful to apply, and given the historical use of lead for white pigment, possibly toxic. Eyebrows are completely covered and the hair line pulled up by with a headband. Umenosuke commented that when he draws in the eyebrows, that is when he makes a psychological transition from male to female. I found this striking as to me his mannerism was rather feminine when he first appeared on stage as male, and while he put on his makeup, his manner became more stern, and I saw no transition once he drew the eyebrows in.

One remark that Carolyn Jack did pick up, that seems to demonstrate a solidarity of Onnagata with drag queens and some myopic CDs is Umenosuke’s response to a question about whether his performance as a woman was informed by modern women. Umenosuke’s reply was that Modern Women, especially those on the Ginza (I think a fashionable district in Tokyo) should learn how to be a woman from him. Some kinds of nonsense clearly transcend international boundaries.

After Umenosuke did his face makeup, he put on a Kimono in Iris colors for the Iris dance with the aid of a female assistant, followed by a heavy, highly stylized wig. Umenosuke demonstrated the characteristic gestures and movements Kabuki assigned to women of various ages pointing to themselves, and differences in gait for different women. I was struck by how accurate the movements seen in a traditional version of Gilbert and Sullivan’s Mikado remain, over a century since they copied them from the Japanese Exhibiton in London. As for Mr. Umenosuke’s dancing....let us just say that it’s hard to gauge his talent as a dancer, given that the dance was structureless and repetitive by Western Standards. Or more likely, I just didn’t get it, or perhaps I was just worn out by that point in the program.

I regret to report that I was unable to attend the Eddie Izzard show, as we attended an old friend’s wedding on the West Coast that weekend. Mr. Izzard is an English comedian who is an out crossdresser and incorporates his crossdressing in his performance . There was no review, and the preview in the PD or other local papers didn’t give a whole lot of useful information other than that Mr. Izzard is now wearing breast forms, whereas before he wasn’t.

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It may be crude to claim I became a circus showgirl because of Some Like It Hot, even though by the time I reached Italy I had seen it more than 20 times. At a gala premiere last week of the new print made for cinema release, film critic Barry Norman declared Marilyn Monroe the undisputed star of the film; without this frothy vision of loveliness, it would be just another 1950s romantic comedy.

But even watching it today, I barely notice Monroe. It's Curtis and Lemmon - Josephine and Daphne - who hold me. They taught me what it meant to be a woman. They still do.

I was 18 when I first saw the film. Then an androgynous student, my uniform was dungarees and a short dark crop, rather like Lemmon's. Some Like It Hot seemed to put forward a thesis that reinforced the lessons of my Edinburgh University Women's Group. Women don't exist, they are created. Anyone can become one.

It was many years before I put that lesson into practice. I tried Biba blue eyeshadow, a blonde bob and skimpy Lycra dresses at mid-80s discos. Later I attempted, but never got a grip on, foundation cream and underwired bras. But the circus offered a chance truly to transform. In the ring, the extremities of womanhood could be acted out as in no other place.

I chose an Italian circus because I knew that, so far from home, I could not be unmasked. If I had joined Billy Smart's, touring Britain, someone who knew me might turn up in the audience and my deception would be discovered. "She's not a showgirl," they'd shout. "She's just Dea Birkett in a sequined G-string. She's a fake," not realising fakery was my purpose.

In the 1959 film, we never see how Curtis and Lemmon become women. One minute they're in jacket and trousers, the next in lipstick and stockings. The only time male and female mix is when Lemmon is dressed as Daphne, all made-up but without his wig. It's a disconcerting moment. He's neither male nor female; it's as if he's deciding which he will become. There's a knock on the door. He pulls on his wig. We are relieved. We're in safe - all-female - territory again, sure of where and what we are.

Yet it is the transformation, rather than the finished product, that is the most crucial element. It is also the most secret. Women rarely put on make-up in front of men. It's important to perpetuate the deceit that our femininity isn't a construction at all - we were born that way.

In the circus showgirl's dressing room - an old railway carriage - no men were allowed. One wall was lined with lockers containing everything we needed to become a woman: scant sequined costumes, impossibly long wigs, piles of putty-colored tights. The other was nothing but mirrors. We could watch ourselves being transformed.

First we had to strip, shed any remnant of who we were. "Ignore your face," said the Bulgarian elephant girl, watching me trace liner around my thin lips. "This has nothing to do with what you're like. You can be anything. Just paint on the face you want."

She guided me through the steps to becoming a showgirl. My pale skin became a yellowed tan. My poppy eyes were made almond-shaped by cats' whiskers drawn from the corners. My thin eyebrows were thickened; false eyelashes were applied. My lips were full and pouting, my short hair hidden under a tight skullcap, topped with ostrich feathers exploding from a diamanté crown.

And yet, despite the immense effort, it was a fragile disguise. A tender finger traced across my cheek and my artifice would fall apart.

Next, attention had to be paid to my body. My legs were squeezed into three pairs of tights, each more supportive than the last, until they curved where they had bulged and were smooth where they had been dimpled. These were topped with fishnets. Becoming a woman wasn't easy. It took a full two hours to get ready for just five minutes in the ring.

Everything about me was indelibly dated: the tan of my foundation, the spidery false eyelashes, the dark beige fishnets. I could have been in a 1950s film. I could have been in Some Like It Hot. But even contemporary female impersonators - Edna Everidge, Lily Savage, Mrs Merton - portray women rarely, if ever, still seen on the street.

It wasn't only how I looked that had to be altered - how I moved had to be learned. Lemmon, as Daphne failing to conquer high heels, describes women's movements as: "Jello on springs ... Is there some sort of motor or something?" adding wryly: "I tell you, it's a whole different sex."

I had to learn to keep my mouth open as I smiled and waved, to show the white of my teeth. My chest and bottom had to be thrust out, making my arched body an S. Gallina, the Russian Hula Hoop artiste, used to practise smiling and waving in the dressing room mirror before she went on, greeting her own reflection as if seeing it for the first time.

Some friends were appalled that I had abandoned my androgynous attire to become a showgirl, conniving in such sexist posturing. But we all, in little ways, contrive at being female. We try out being femme, put on a dress when we rarely wear one, perm and dye our hair, and stand in front of a full-length mirror, wondering at ourselves. We've been doing it since we were small girls. Because that is what being a woman is all about, making yourself up as one.

I was playing at being a woman. Becoming a showgirl just threw that make-believe into sharp relief because it was so blatant. I was exposing the construction of femininity, not conforming to it. I was as subversive as Jack Lemmon playing Daphne.

And still now, watching Some Like It Hot in my combats, with a can of Carlsberg, legs akimbo on the sofa, I long to return to the circus. Impersonating a woman was so much fun.

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Varla Jean Merman,

Cleveland Public Theatre.

October 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th and October 30th, 31st, November 1st and 2nd

(216) 631.2727

Jeffrey Roberson is Varla Jean Merman in Varla Jean Merman’s Under a Big Top. She’s back for a third year in her most colorful revue to date. Varla Jean Merman’s Under a Big Top encompasses circus, carnival, magic and freak shows- and yes, processed cheese!

A NIGHT WITH DAME EDNA
February 17-29, 2004
Palace Theatre

Dame Edna, simply the most talented and adored Australian to grace the stage, has returned to her beloved United States for another fun-filled theatrical tour. With Special Tony Award in hand, Dame Edna, is back with the funniest show you will ever see, and she will guarantee you at least one major laugh per half-minute!!! A Night with Dame Edna opened in Miami, Florida, in September 2002, and American audiences have been hysterical with laughter ever since! Barry Humphries stars as the world's funniest diva!

www.dame-edna.com

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www.tri-ess.org/spice

www.rmtsk.org/holiday

www.ColoGoldRush.org

www.eriesisters.org.

This newsletter is copyright 1998-2003 by The Alpha Omega Society. All right reserved. Articles and information contained in this newsletter may NOT be without advance permission from the individual author. Write to editor@aosoc.org in order to contact the author. When permission is granted, a copy of the issue containing the reprinted material must be sent to Alpha Omega within two months after the material is published and proper credit is given to author and source.

The opinions or statements contained in this newsletter are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Alpha Omega. Contributions of articles are welcomed, but may be altered in the editing process, with the author’s intent retained, or may be rejected, whether solicited or not. Absolutely no sexually explicit material may be accepted or printed.

Alpha Omega is a non-profit social support group for heterosexual crossdressers and their wives or partners. Also, members from related organizations, helping professionals, and approved guests are welcome when cleared through Alpha Omega’s officers.

Meetings are the second Saturday evening of each month unless a special event is scheduled that takes the place of the regularly scheduled meeting. The location of the meeting or event is only released to members or others with the approval of an officer. Members and visitors must be 18 years of age or older. We will exchange newsletters with any other similar group. Send all correspondence to Alpha Omega, P.O. Box 2053, Sheffield Lake, OH 44054.

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