As with any group, the interests of its members are varied and vast. What some people find to be useful and/or entertaining, others may not find much need for. We understand this, and want to try and accommodate as many ideas as possible. We have included a few areas we would like to have some feedback on, and we ask that you take a few minutes and jot down any ideas YOU might have .

Please tell us a few ideas you might have for some fun/exciting/delicious meals. We hope to complete the menu for the year by the end of May, and post it in the newsletter. We have a group that is coordi-nating the planning of the meal itself, but we want to get some feedback on some of the groups favorites.

Should anyone have any ideas about any special events they have seen, or heard of, or would like to consider, please let us know. No ideas will go without some serious consideration.

Alpha Omega exists for its members. We want to make this a place you want to come and visit, have fun, see friends, and just enjoy an evening out. Please feel free to voice your opinion. What we don’t know can hurt us!

Abby

As your new Vice President I would like to address

a few issues. Meeting attendance: Why are there only

10 people showing up at meetings? Is it the lack of

a fancy dinner like Peggy used to provide or the lack

of a good program? At this rate we are going to lose

the church as our meeting place and we don't want that to happen, do we?

Michelle L. Thomas V.P.

The atmosphere at dinner that evening was sullen to say the least. The faces of the people surrounding the table matched the mood. Earlier that day, the family learned of a deeply hidden secret, and now, without really understanding the implications of what that secret meant, there was cause for concern.

Jason Patrick was by any measure, a typical seventeen year old. He got better than average grades, was well liked, and was fairly athletic. His parents, Brenda and Mark, were proud of Jason and his accom-plishments. The hidden secret, unfortunately, had rocked their world, and now as everyone went through the motions of conducting a normal dinner scene, things were anything but.

The only person at the table that evening not visibly upset by earlier events was Julie, Jason’s older sister. Jules was a senior and eleven months older than her brother. She had not been the one who caught Jason, but her mother, distraught and anguished, had conveyed the situation to Jules without delay. In fact, Julie knew about the incident even before her father had.

Mark Patrick would learn the details later, after he returned from a golf outing. He had said very little about the incident, but his mood and his demeanor conveyed internal strife.

For a while, Jason felt that he should say some-thing to release the tension. He felt that by discus-sing the situation openly, he might be able to allay his parents’ fears. Several times throughout dinner, Jason caught Julie watching him, and hers eyes had that little twinkle in them, the one that always con-veyed to him that she understood. Jason felt he had an ally in his sister.

Studying his parents as they ate, Jason decided to break the ice. "It’s no big deal, really", he said to no one in particular.

His statement incurred no immediate reply, but his mother stirred uncomfortably in her chair. Jason’s father was staring at his mashed potatoes when finally he spoke. It was an unfamiliar voice that spoke the first words, and the voice conveyed a sense of deep sadness. "I had no clue that you might be gay"!

For an instant Jason was shocked. His father had called him gay, and while Jason didn’t fully under-stand his desires, he felt certain that he was not gay. "Dad, I’m not gay", he responded automatically.

Jason’s mother chimed in. "Jason, if you aren’t gay than why on earth would you want to wear girl’s clothing. What else could it be?"

Julie, listening intently to the discussion she was not really part of, couldn’t believe that her parents, so quick to point out how with it they were, didn’t understand the meaning behind her brother’s compulsion. Before she realized what she was doing, Julie jumped into the conversation. "Gosh Mom, haven’t you ever heard of a crossdresser?"

In unison, Julie’s parents glared at her. Jason on the other hand displayed a smile that conveyed thanks for the support. Julie waited while her father formed a response in his head. Finally he said, "I don’t know what’s worse, having a homosexual son or a son who’s a pervert".

That stung badly, and Jason retorted by stating that he was not a pervert.

"OK, maybe pervert is a strong word but at the very least, crossdressers are not normal". What normal man walks around in woman’s clothes and covered in make-up".

Jason felt that he was losing the battle, even with Julie on his side. Additionally, he was shocked at his parent's intolerance. He was really beginning to regret the fact that his mother had stumbled upon him. Jason had been sure he would have the afternoon to himself, and he was still uncertain how he had failed to hear his mother’s early return.

Where his parents were intolerant, Julie had been wonderful. She had displayed a level of understanding about crossdressing that even Jason didn’t have. Unfortunately, Jason’s parents dismissed her by telling her she didn’t know what she was talking about, and that this was none of her business.

The discussion then grew more heated, and ultimately his parents, tired of the bantering, dismissed Jason's explanation and forbade him from ever dressing again. Apparently uncomfortable, and not equipped with the knowledge to deal with the situation, they agreed that whatever the reason behind Jason's compulsion, it was not going to be tolerated in their house. And, because they stated it with conviction, Jason's parents believed naively, that they had solved the little family problem. Now, they would be able to get on with their material lives without the danger of embarrassment.

In Jane Ellen’s letter congratulating Karen for raising our chapter to flagship status, Jane Ellen also mentioned some tasks that remain in front of us. One of these tasks is to get more people writing for the newsletter. It occurred to me that a list of kinds of reports and stories that are valuable might be useful to have and to print and post every so often.

Here are some categories and hints you may find useful:

Relationship Issues-

• How does cross-dressing affect your relationship? Has this changed with time? What kinds of issues does this create, how have you dealt with them?
• Coming out to your family? How did you do it? What were the short and long term consequences?

Personal Experience

• Your first AO meeting
• What AO means to you
• Your first time going out
• A memorable event while dressed
• An interesting conversation with someone about cross-dressing
• Getting stopped by the police while dressed (especially if you handled it well)
• Going to CD convention, be-all, etc.
• Report on an outreach event
• How your style has changed
• Attending a Triess meeting somewhere else
• Correspondence…if you’ve had memorable correspondence with a big/little sister, with both party’s consent of course.
• What you did for Halloween, New Years etc.
• Women you admire or who have been role models to you

Fashion and How-to

• What’s fashionable this season
• Dealing with figure flaws
• Make up trends
• Make-up that works for you and why
• Getting clothes to fit
• Buying on-line
• Wigs
• Prostheses
• Shoes
• Hosiery

Community Resources

• Friendly local stores
• Other support groups
• Friendly restaurants, bars, and clubs
• Theatres and other performing venues, Reviews of performances related to transgender issues.
• Counseling and other support services
• Welcoming Congregations
• Alterations
• Makeovers
• Book Reviews, TV shows reviews, Movie Reviews

S.O. Articles

• How you’ve negotiated CD in your marriage
• A memorable event with your CD’d partner
• What you’ve learned about yourself
• How you’ve expanded your own boundaries
• What you get out of the experience

Gender Theory, Feminism and the place of CD in the transgender community.

• Has CD made you more aware of a feminine side? How has this affected you and has it changed how you relate to women in general and those close to you?
• How do you relate to people in other categories of social disapproval? Has this changed since joining Alpha Omega?
• How you deal with religious issues?
• Psychological theories about Transgender, ie Blanchard, Doctor, etc.

It’s interesting the impact that a book can have on a young person’s mind. As one grows older, one begins to wonder whether it was the book that created the impression or did the book merely put into words and ideas what had been vague mental concepts. Literally, the ol’ "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" argument.

I offer my own experiences with a book few, if any of the readers, are aware of. The book of which I write is L. Frank Baum’s The Marvelous Land of Oz. No, Dorothy, we’re not in Kansas any more (although that was my home state once upon a time…) but yes, that is the author and the sequel to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

I grew up in Kansas City with a very protective mother and a caring father, but in a neighborhood with more girls my age than boys. While I was a typical boy in many ways (loved playing sandlot baseball and football and hikes and all that) I was also not so typical in that I liked wearing feminine clothes. Something that I knew I didn’t talk about to others—even my parents. Anyway, I was encouraged to visit the public library, which I did and apparently read everything in sight…one of these books being the Marvelous Land of Oz. Although I have to admit that I had forgotten about it until I read an article in the "Smithsonian" about L. Frank Baum and this book. What triggered a flush a memories was a parenthetical remark about how the hero of the book, a Tip—short for Tippetarius, was revealed in the final chapters of the book to actually be Princess (that’s right, Princess) Ozma of Oz—apparently the evil witch Mombi had transformed Ozma into being a boy, Tip. Tip was given a choice—to remain as Tip or to be transformed back into Princess Ozma. Well, you can guess what the choice was.

And the final words of that chapter apparently rang my chimes…

"…and from the couch arose the form of a young girl, fresh and beautiful as a May morning. Her eyes sparkled as two diamonds, and her lips were tinted like a tourmaline. All a down her back floated tresses of ruddy gold, with a slender jeweled circlet confining them at the brow. Her robes of silken gauze floated around her like a cloud, and dainty satin slippers shod her feet…Speaking the words with sweet diffidence, she said:

I hope none of you will care less for me than you did before. I’m just the same Tip, you know; only—only—

Only you’re different!" said the Pumpkinhead; and everyone thought it was the wisest speech he had ever made."

The pictures within the book were not new. I had seen them before, so I knew I had read this book back well before puberty, around the time when I had my first experience at wearing feminine attire…but the question will always be, which came first, the book or the dress?

By Kathleen Fenton

Putting these words on paper and needing to share them is a direct result of the latest discussion Gloria and I had this morning about the past and the future of Alpha Omega as well as our role in both. This morning’s talk was emotional for both of us with feelings running from sadness, to anger, to despair, to depression and tears. As the most senior members of this group, and as two people who spent many years being very active and, in Gloria’s case, leading this group; we are beyond sad to see what seems to be a bleak and possibly short future for Alpha Omega.

Newer members may not care about our history, but it is important. The prime focus of this group is to provide support for the heterosexual crossdresser and his spouse or partner. This is accomplished by a like-minded group of people coming together once a month for an evening of fellowship which has traditionally included time for socializing, a meal, a business meeting to take care of the nuts and bolts of keeping the group intact and moving forward, and a program to inform or entertain the members. This group has gone from half a dozen people meeting in people’s homes to a larger group meeting in a sleazy (but secure) hotel, to an even larger group meeting in a safe, secure location.

Interviews were conducted, usually by two individuals, with approval from an officer before new people were invited to attend their first meeting. These interviews were discussions to determine if our group provided the type of support that this indi-vidual or couple were looking for. Once a new person came to one or two meetings, they and the group decided if they were right for each other and a decision to join the group was made. Joining also meant joining the national, since we are a chapter of a national organization.

Our group held the distinction of having a large proportion of wives/partners in attendance at all meetings. Wives/partners were given equal status early on and were full, participating members of our group with all the rights and privileges of full membership.

Our group was never a party group. People didn’t just meet there to have a meal and then run down-town to a club. There was something substantial, significant, and special to this evening. Other nights were for partying if that is what a member wanted to do. An atmosphere was maintained that made everyone, cross dresser and spouse feel comfortable and welcome. Cross dressers were expected to dress in a fashion that was appropriate to the place. The "party" clothes could always be put on later for the downtown experience.

It was an underlying principle that no member or guest be made to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable by the words or actions of another member. Yet in the past couple years several instances of this have been allowed to happen; and we have lost valuable members and come close to losing others. There has always been a great deal of pride associated with being a member of Alpha Omega. When newsletters from other groups "bashed" groups for their treat-ment of certain members, we knew that it couldn’t happen here. But it did.

Somehow Alpha Omega has gotten off the track. I believe, if this group is to survive, some hard questions have to be asked and some good answers provided. Why, if our membership has grown so much as to make us flagship group, is attendance at meetings lower than it was when our membership was much smaller? Why, as a wife, do I feel like I no longer belong and no longer matter? Why have the couples, who used to be the backbone of Alpha Omega, disappeared? Why have people who were so active, decided they have had enough and given up?

I know that our officers have been plagued with serious health problems this past year. This is certainly not a situation that lends itself to effective leadership. But I feel it goes beyond that. I get the feeling that the only thing that seems to matter is to increase the membership count. How many of this increasing number want to be active participants in this group and help to fulfill the purposes we are intended for? I believe the focus has shifted from providing support and fellowship to like-minded people (even if that means our membership remains relatively small) to getting those membership numbers up to make national happy.

But, in the end, what does it prove? The people who have been long-term members and who have pro-vided leadership and support to one another have left or are leaving? If the group has nothing to offer to members on that special meeting night, why bother? It won’t take long for those who want to get together to party to realize they could save the local and national dues and the meeting fees, and just go straight to the party.

Where is the future of Alpha Omega?

Note:  Complete article can be found on this site: Conservative etc.

By Gloria Sue Fenton

I may be one of the few people on earth these days who knows very little about the information super-highway that is fondly called the web. I say this because I am not very computer-oriented, at all.

Oh, I know one of these days I will have to learn how to send an email myself, and I will do that in due time. I am an anachronism to much of the high technology of today -instant messages that seem to demand instant answers. Maybe that’s because as a human being, I don’t act or react with the speed of a computer.

And to me, also, doing everything on a computer console loses a lot of the personal touch that, I guess, I still long for. Snail mail may be slow in comparison, but I still get a charge out of getting a hand-written letter.

As I told a friend of mine lately, I can’t seem to write the short little notes that are the majority of email letters. It seems I always need pages to try and express my thoughts and feelings.

Besides, I can’t type that fast or that well. Just last week I sat down and wrote a six-page response to a friend’s email. It took me an hour and a half to write it. It took Kathy fifteen minutes or less to type it, and send it. If I were trying to type it and send it myself, I’d still be working on it. And, besides a hand written letter, I still much prefer a phone call to a typed letter. I can’t seem to hear the tone of someone’s voice or the sound of their laughter, or all the little inflections of their voice from that email that I can feel by the sound of their voice.

I have seen someone "chat" for over an hour on the computer for what to me would be a twenty minute phone call, with more meaning. I know its old-fashioned, but I miss those personal, human touches.

I’ve known people who tell me of the time they spent "chatting" to someone or the time they spent writing a long email to someone, or how they wrote a story to someone on their computer. A lot of times, those same people say they don’t have time to write a newsletter article, but yet for some things they do write on their computer, all they would need to do is hit the print button, and they would have a newsletter article already done.

I guess a lot of things today are a matter of personal perspective. For me, the perspective is that few things actually compare to reading a hand-written word or hearing someone’s voice and laughter or tears, or feeling the grasp of another’s handshake or hug, and seeing them face-to-face.

But enough of that for know. The web is also a source for information, and it is a very powerful force to deal with indeed. There are a lot of good resources for information on the web. There are also a lot of things that aren’t so good. For individuals who have personal web sites that are accessible by the public, I’m sure it can be a constant challenge to try and monitor things that may be posted that may be quite offensive to others who also see their web site. I don’t envy them this task, as there are many in the public who do postings that can run the gamut from crude to being totally obnoxious.

Awhile back I remember hearing of a web site for "Sissies", as it was termed, that had Tri-Ess and Alpha Omega, as well as other cross dressing groups and organizations listed on it. And whoever had set up this web site hadn’t even bothered to ask if many of the groups on that listing even wanted to be on that list. To me that is just flat out rude and crude, and very offensive to me as a cross dresser. I sure don’t consider myself to be a "Sissy" or want Alpha Omega portrayed that way either.

I also have problems when some in the public use web sites to post listings as if the web site were a dating service for them, or are quite blatant about seeking sexual advances. The good intent of the person or group that has a web site can be harmed greatly unless monitored extensively.

Trying to maintain a web site for cross dressers or about cross dressing that has public access will always be a challenge. Because it seems there will always be someone pushing the envelope of what is or is not suitable for what the web site was intended for, no matter how noble the intent of the web site is. And there are several web sites, I am told, that do great disservice to cross dressing in general because they deal with extreme fantasy, or just flat out misinformation about cross dressing. Like any resource of information there will always be the good and the bad side of it, as people claim their "right to free speech" from the First Amendment to our Constitution for this country. As individuals and as a group, it is not always easy to maintain our own sense of dignity and propriety when anyone can just freely try to abuse our web sites, or list us on web sites that are harmful to us, without even asking us first.

Alas, this is now a constant struggle because of the freedom of the web, by virtually anyone around the world. And the society we all talk about seems always ready to pounce on anything negative about cross dressing, because they can always use it as a roadblock to ever allowing us the human rights and dignity that should be ours.

I applaud those who try to monitor items that may be deemed offensive on web sites, whether personal or for any group, who are trying to demonstrate the constructive and positive aspects of our paraculture because it is, and will continue to be, an ongoing battle. There is much good on the web for those just starting to search for information about cross dressing and whether they are a cross dresser themselves, the spouse of a cross dresser, the family or friend of a cross dresser, or just someone wishing to learn about cross dressing, it is our duty to make sure that we, as individuals, and as groups, are shown as constructively as possible.

Many that try to spread misinformation or negativism about cross dressing may claim their right to do so; but those that provide the constructive and positive side of cross dressing must also demand their rights as well. Even just fourteen years ago one of the few places one could try to find constructive information about cross dressing support groups was in some of the magazines in adult book stores. Or, if you were lucky, there might be a talk show that didn’t try to exploit cross dressers for ratings that would show an address to contact.

Today, all that, and a whole lot more, is just the click of a mouse away, if searched for. The web can be our most useful tool today to educate and inform people about crossdressing, if we use it properly. But the "dark" side of crossdressing is just as accessible, and we need to always remember that. And when we do have the chance to constructively help someone, we need to seize it to help them grow as human beings, and not be afraid to add the personal touches – like a letter or phone call, or a hand reaching out in friendship.

Although I may not be very computer oriented, I do understand the importance of the web and the positive things that the web can do for us as individuals and as a group. Though the web can be tangled, it is the present and future of things to be. We, as individuals and groups, must be sure we utilize it to its best advantage. That is our right and our duty.

At least that’s what I think. How about you?

Love Always,

Gloria

The newsletter is only as good as the material we receive. We ask that all articles be submitted 2 weeks prior to the meeting. A decent layout takes time to develop. With most articles arriving late, we only have time to throw it together.

For those submitting articles via email, would you please enter Newsletter Article in the subject field. Our system is set up to put that email directly into a Silhouette folder limiting the possibility of your literary creation being lost, left out, or overlooked. (On any given day, I receive over 100 emails) Send the article to Cheryl@rainbowtrail.info

We are also asking that ANYONE who can receive the newsletter via email or go to the website, please do so instead of having a copy mailed to them. Currently we are spending approx. $45/month on the Silhouette. However, that will be increasing since the post office is raising postage rates again. As it is, the full cost of the newsletter is not paid by the chapter. Lisa and I have Stamps.com (which has a monthly fee) and use it almost exclusively for mailing the Silhouette. This is saving A-O the cost of labels. Many of the other Tri-Ess Chapters use email exclusively and seem to have no problem.

As many of you know, my computer crashed due to a new scanner and the latest mailing list was lost. We are trying to reform it but need your help. At the next meeting we will be passing a sign-up sheet. Please fill it out and include your email address (Make it legible, please).

SPICE is a conference that supports people just like you, the spouses of heterosexual crossdressers

who have issues that need resolution.

professionals to the conference who will present specfic programs designed to help you,

and answer your questions and fears.

You will learn to apply strategies that will help you overcome crossdressing issues.

Program includes such topics as Communication, Trust, Setting Boundaries, Spirituality,

Bedroom Issues and Telling the Children. By using both small and large group discussions,

S.P.I.C.E. encourages all participants to share at their own pace. Each individual is

listened to carefully while workable and realistic solutions are suggested.