Home Up January 2002 February 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002

You have reached the Newsletter Archives of the Alpha Omega Society.  To browse through different years, click on button labeled "Up".  To explore our website click on the button labeled "Home".
If you want to search our website for something in particular, click right here to be taken to our search page.

La Femme Silhouette

January 2002

 

Masthead 2002

Contents

To Let Go
The Sugar Plum Fairy
Sexy High Heels and Reality
Parents: Schools should bar harassment
An Email Interview with The Columbus Crossdresser Academy
Upcoming Events
CAMPAIGN AGAINST WINN-DIXIE INTENSIFIES
A Letter from Jane Ellen

 


To Let Go...

·To ‘let go’ does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.

·To ‘let go’ is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization that I can’t control another person.

·To ‘let go’ is not to admit powerlessness, but to acknowledge the outcome is not in my hands.

·To ‘let go’ is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.

·To ‘let go’ is not to care for, but to be supportive.

·To ‘let go’ is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

·To ‘let go’ is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

·To ‘let go’ is not to deny, but to accept.

·To ‘let go’ is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

·To ‘let go’ is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

·To ‘let go’ is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To ‘let go’ is to fear less and to love more!!

Return to Contents

  

The Sugar Plum Fairy- by Diane Sofia Frank

After my performance of the Sugar Plum Fairy solo from the Nutcracker at the Xmas Party last month, I was asked some questions by a number of people. I thought it might be fun to share the questions and answers with everyone.

Why did I do it? Triess is all about fully expressing your self. But even in a place as safe and appreciative and accepting as Alpha Omega can sometimes feel scary. Maybe if people saw me dancing in a tutu, they’d feel inspired to take a chance and share their talents and express themselves more. So if you whether you play the flute or Tuba, have a gift for sewing, drama or comedy here is a place you can share it.

Was it hard work? Yes, it’s hard work. Learning the steps isn’t hard. I think I spent 15-20 minutes total working with my coach on the sequence. But it takes years of practice and training to be able to do it. You couldn’t expect to take someone off the street and teach him or her how to do it. If you showed them the feet, they’d forget about the hands and head and body. If you showed them how to hold the arms at any time, they’d have trouble coordinating that with the feet. In ballet there are no spare parts, every bit of your body is involved in the performance. To learn that coordination takes years.

Is it really athletic? Yes it is. The sequence I performed was only slightly simplified from something performed by professional companies. The biggest difference is that I don’t dance en pointe. Some of the steps only work on en pointe. Some of the steps I changed at the last minute to fit the space. A professional who I take class with was rehearsing her version at the same time I was mine. Hers was somewhat more demanding than mine but not all that much. She was pretty winded at the end of a run through too. But being half my age, and a professional she recovers a lot more quickly than I do. One virtue to the Sugar Plum Fairy role is that it hails from the dawn of the big story ballet, and pointe shoes hadn’t evolved very far. Thus the technical demands of the piece are less than more modern works.

Why do the Sugar Plum Fairy solo? Well, the Nutcracker is Christmas tradition. I also thought that it was edgier to do such an overtly feminine solo than something more neutral. If we’re going to play with and against stereotypes, let’s go all the way. I’ve been dancing a long time, and I’ve lost a lot of resistance to gender boundaries. It’s all dance, all performance. I’ve seen many roles played by men or women, including those traditionally done by one sex or the other. The fact the male and female dancers can and do carry off each other’s roles often and successfully teaches us something both about how gender is constructed and how it is performed. There is no personal frisson for me in doing this role in particular, but I do recognize how it can push other people’s boundaries. Just the use of the word Fairy is enough to push some people’s buttons.

Where did you get the tutu? We made it as a project. My S.O. made the bodice from the pattern for an 18th century dress. She extended the pattern because of my height. It’s some rather involved sewing, and is boned and closed up the back with countless hook and eyes. I can’t get into or out of the tutu without help. I added the decorative trim to the bodice along the seams and made the skirts. The skirts were 9 layers of tulle and netting. I originally made it for Halloween as three pieces, bodice, skirt and panties. The original skirt was only two layers and was ankle length in the romantic style. To survive the rigors of the performance I made the new 9 layers skirt and attached everything together.

How did it feel to wear a tutu? I was surprised it that it didn’t change the feel of dancing much. I was warned that it might. It isn’t a garment you can sit around in comfortably. It isn’t designed for sitting at all.

Do I have any future performances planned? No. But I’m considering working on the Anna Pavlova’s "Dying Swan" solo. I’ve been told it would work for me by one of my ballet teachers. What might really be fun would be to learn the satirical version done by the Ballet Trocadero de Monte Carlo (the all male comedy troupe). How they get all those feathers into the tutu for the continuous molting I’ll never know. But I’d like to find out.

Have I performed anywhere else? Yes, I’ve performed in recitals with studios back in NY and Pennsylvania. My first roles were the Nutcracker. I did a parent at the Christmas party, the Mouse King and Tea from China. I’ve also been a mechanical doll in Coppelia, and the evil fairy Carrabas in Sleeping Beauty.

Do people in the dance world "know" about me? The dance world is a pretty tolerant and diverse place. I’m not someone who is into "coming out" in a big way. So people draw their own conclusions. Because there are lots of children around I always have to watch out, but that’s due to the general social concerns of our age about inappropriate contact between adults and children.

Return to Contents

Sexy High Heels and Reality

By Miss Sally Stone

Nothing, and I do mean nothing, makes a statement about femininity better than a painful pair of spiked heels. As crossdressers, we tend to dress around our shoes. Little else seems to matter sometimes, as long as we have on a killer pair of pumps. Personally, I love high heel pumps, and I wish I could get away with wearing them all the time. Unfortunately, spiked heels aren't appropriate for every occasion. In fact, being perfectly honest, they are appropriate in only a few circumstances. If we were to take a poll of most genetic females, we might be surprised to find that a large percentage of those polled would say that high heels are never appropriate. These women have learned first hand, the evil that heels do (pardon the poor grammar there).

High heels are painful to wear, and if worn for an appreciable length of time, can actually cause physical damage. Some of the more common maladies are hammertoes, stress fractures, and permanent shortening of the Achilles tendon. In addition to these obvious problems, high heels can cause damage far removed from the shoes themselves. As heel height rises, pressure on the inside of the knee increases. Very high heels can increase pressure to such a degree that osteoarthritis can develop.

Because high heels change the geometry of the human body, a person wearing them generally assumes an unnatural gait to counteract the resultant misalignment. Many of us mistake this gait or walk as a sexy swagger. It isn't! Over time, this misalignment can cause back and hip problems, many of which become permanent. Orthopedists tell horror stories about older women who have been all but crippled, because they wore high heels regularly.

As crossdressers, we tend to choose heels because of the femininity effect. In addition, while high heels do look sexy, it's just so hard these days, to justify an occasion for wearing them. If you are just going to attend a crossdresser social meeting, than I guess, there's no harm in wearing killer heels. After all, you're in safe company, and there isn't usually a lot of walking involved. If you are like I am however, and you spend a lot of time in public, high heels just won't cut it.

The alternative is to choose shoes that offer at least some measure of comfort. I know this may be hard for some of you hard core heel wearers to accept, but comfortable shoes don't have to be ugly or unfeminine. Many the current shoe styles are very feminine, and many of them have reasonable heel heights. I think the best way to choose a shoe style is to look through fashion magazines or clothing catalogs. Pay attention to the styles the models are wearing.

Today, shoes with wider toe boxes are very popular. Additionally, shoes currently offer softer soles that provide a measure of cushion that the traditional pump just can't. My wife says that today's styles are clunky. That may be so, but it is the current fashion trend, and worn with the right outfit, they can be trendy and sexy. Boots are also popular, and girls, I'm not talking about thigh highs or spiked boots with laces up to the knee. Those styles make a certain statement about the wearer, and they will probably get you a lot more attention at the mall than you want. I'm talking about boots with reasonable heels, and yes, on occasion, a three-inch heel can be appropriate. I have two pair that I tend to give equal time when out and about. The first pair has two and a half inch heels, and zip up the side. The upper comes to just below my knee, and they look great with a short skirt or a long one. The other pair features one-inch wedge heels and are as comfortable as slippers. They too, look great with casual styles or more dressy ones.

One caution about current styles that utilize wide heels must be noted. The height of the heel is the culprit when it comes to pain and damage. A shoe that has wide heels and is three or four inches high might be easier on the feet than a stiletto, but the height will put intense pressure on the knees and the lower spine.

If you just can't seem to overcome your addiction to the pump, than try the Naturalizer wedge pump. This shoe has a timeless style and features a one-inch wedge heel. The shoe can be ordered in sizes up to 12 wide, and it comes in a plethora of shades. It is comfortable, easy on the skeleton, and looks very sexy.

Earlier, I alluded to the fact that high heels caused an unnatural gait that many of us mistake for a sexy walk. High heels, contrary to popular belief, do not create a feminine walk. If you don't already have a feminine walk, then spikes aren't going to give you one. In fact, high heels can adversely affect an otherwise sexy strut. Learning to walk like a woman is another subject (one I'll tackle at a later date) but suffice it to say that you should learn to walk like a girl first without heels. Once you've mastered the technique, then graduate to those evil spikes.

Shoes are fun, and they are an important part of any crossdressers wardrobe. Be wary; however, of high heels and the problems they can cause. Try not to let yourself get caught up in the stiletto heel rut. Instead, be trendy and try some of the latest styles. On two separate occasions just this week, I have been complemented on my fashion savvy, and my choice of footwear. Look for comfort, style, and functionality when picking out a pair of new shoes. Be stylish, but first, be good to your feet. After a several miles in the mall, those feet will thank you.

Return to Contents

Monday December 03 06:52 PM EST

Parents: Schools should bar harassment

By Dan Kerman, Gay.com / PlanetOut.com Network

SUMMARY: A new poll finds most parents believe schools must play an active role in preventing harassment and discrimination against GLBT students.

A new poll finds the majority of parents believe schools must play an active role in preventing harassment and discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students.

The telephone survey, commissioned by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), a national organization fighting to end anti-gay bias in grades K-12, found that 86 percent of parents want schools to implement anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policies to protect GLBT students. Eighty-one percent of parents support expanding existing policies to include lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students.

"These numbers say loudly and clearly that America's parents believe all students should be safe, and schools need to be in the business of insuring that safety," said Jim Anderson, GLSEN communications director.

The survey, to be released on Tuesday, also found that 80 percent of parents support "teacher sensitivity trainings on tolerance that include instructions on dealing with gay and lesbian harassment in schools."

"This is heartening news for those who believe that school must teach respect for all, and create safer school days for every student," said GLSEN Executive Director Kevin Jennings.

The results are based on telephone interviews with 500 parents of students ages 5 to 18.

Among the other findings: 63 percent of parents favor "including positive information about gay and lesbian people in middle and high school health and sex education classes," and 60 percent of parents favor "information about transgender people" in those forums.

"I find those numbers incredibly encouraging and fairly indicative of the fact that we are in the midst of a huge cultural shift in understanding the age in which prejudice starts and the age we should take stronger steps to prevent that," said Debra Chasnoff, who directed and produced the 1996 film "It's Elementary."

The documentary, which explores what happens when educators address gay issues with their students, is now used by more than 700 colleges and universities across the nation to train the next generation of teachers.

"What we have been seeing in the last five to six years is a shift in consciousness among educators and parents, that business as usual in schools around ignoring hostility toward lesbian and gay people is unacceptable," Chasnoff told the Gay.com/PlanetOut.com Network.

GLSEN says the challenge now is to convert public opinion into policy change.

"We have seen throughout the years a lack of action on the part of school boards, superintendents and teachers to prevent anti-gay abuse," said GLSEN's Anderson. "This is another tool for safe schools activists to make positive change happen," he said.

Return to Contents

An Email Interview with The Columbus Crossdresser Academy

Here is a response from the Columbus Crossdresser Academy to a list of questions I sent them by email:

Thank you very much for your interest in our club and business. As you have said, getting the web site up and running is difficult. We are still working hard on it, just having some difficulty finding the time to devote to the mechanics of it all.

As for your Questions..

Question # 1, No we do not operate out of a storefront. We feel that it is much more private for both us and our clients to have access to these types of services with a low profile approach. All clients are either seen in our home or at their location, (only after we are comfortable with who they are).

Question # 2, Yes, you we would be pleased to have our phone number and email address listed.

Columbus Crossdressers is experiencing difficulties in keeping x-rated material and sexual solicitation from their yahoo group.  Contact information is deleted until they clean up their act.  -Webmistress

Question #3, As far as the Crystal Club we have attended a few of their meetings here in Columbus, Ohio, but we have not presented ourselves to the members as anything other than another member. We are considering contacting their President and asking for an opportunity to introduce our business to them and let them know the services we offer.

Question # 4, we are trying to put together the pieces and services on our web site. This is proving to be a little complicated for us on this end. Reason being is that some services can be enhanced with additional services, Example.. If a sister wants an ultimate makeover with lessons... the fee is $75.00 this means she will get a full facial makeover by us with us teaching her exactly what to do and how to do it. When we are done, she will cleanse her face and then do the work again herself, with us helping her along the way. If the sister just wants a makeover without lessons the fee is $45.00. This is where it becomes a bit confusing.... some sisters need to have their eyebrows thinned, shaped or tweezed, if they want that done also it is an additional $20.00 for that service.

Additionally if a lady is having a full Male to female transformation ... that will include fingernails and polish...but, if she wants acrylic nails and polish the price would be a bit higher because of the expense and considerable time needed to do the acrylics.

We have finally decided how to project all of these services and prices in an easy format on our web site.It is our hope it will be up there within the next week.

Question # 4, Mention specific brands... We are not recommending or not recommending any particular products to our clients. The reason is clear. We want our ladies to feel and know that they can be more beautiful by using common every day products... Not every one can afford Lancome, Clinique or MaryKay. We want to show our sisters that whether they are on a budget and have to be careful or if they have access to a larger budget, they still have the same opportunities to fully enjoy their fem side without feeling less confident or less beautiful due to differences in financial abilities.

Question # 5, No, I am afraid that we are not yet affiliated with a person who would do alterations. We have approached a couple of people, but we have not yet found someone who would embrace our philosophy about crossdressing. We definitely do not want our ladies being exposed to people who may or may not appreciate our needs. I feel we will eventually find the right person, but as of yet we have not.

Question # 6, How Did We happen to get in this business. Well, what you need to understand is that the "We" is Briana, my husband who is a crossdresser and I am Brandi, his wife. I am originally from New
York. In New York I owned two beauty salons and spas.

In our salons we did everything from hair, makeovers, body wraps, piercing, etc. Mind you, this was about 15 years ago... even then, crossdressers sought me out and asked for assistance. Later in years when I met my husband, I did not know he was a crossdresser right away, it took me about 2 weeks after we were married to figure it out.

Briana and I went through an adjustment period, she had been keeping this a close guarded secret about herself for almost 25 years. Sharing it with me, was something she had to work at on a daily basis. It is
very easy for a Xdresser to slip back into old habits about secretiveness anyway... As we got to see the crossdressing community more in Columbus and spoke to more people on line we began to recognize a need - not only a need, but also an affordable need. We are not terribly fond of the Mary Kay consultants and other
people who have no emotional connection to crossdressing other than, just jumping on a bandwagon to make an inappropriate amount of money when working with our sisters.

Briana and I feel that it is important for us to do something positive with her cross-dressing. We feel that if in some way, we can help someone become more confident or help them develop their fem side, we are
doing something positive.

Briana is a married, heterosexual christian crossdresser...very few people on line have foundtheir own definition of who they are. Briana suffered for years trying to figure these things our for herself and once she defined who she was, it was almost impossible for her to learn the basics that she needed to learn about makeup, style, hair, womanizing things like how to walk, etc.

In short, we want to do something positive for the crossdressing community and establish a standard of acceptance and confidence that should rightfully be there for the majority of the sisters.. Acceptance
and confidence should not be things enjoyed by such a low percentage of sisters that it currently is.

Next Question, sorry got a bit long winded on the last one..!! As I said, we have not exploited ourselves very much, but we now feel that we should carefully consider the possible places where we should be promoting ourselves.

We have not had an opportunity for client sponsored events as of yet, but we would like to. We would like to do some simple things first. One of the thoughts we had is to have a client weekend here in Columbus.
We would like to have all the ladies as guests at our home for a barbecue, music, and perhaps a couple of little contests that would be fun and certainly related to the crossdressing. Believe it or not, a lot of our sisters have said they would love to put on a bathing suit and sun bathe, do their toe nails while laying in the sun, read a book. It is the simplest of things that would be enjoyable for them. But as I said we have not done this yet, but would truly like to plan it. Our location is very private, large and secure.

Next Question, Girls Night Out... this is completely customized and up to the lady of the evening. Some ladies just want to dress and perhaps go to a movie. Other ladies want to really make it a night on the town, with a limo, dining at a transgender friendly restaurant and going to a club or even seeing a crossdresser show... whatever the lady of the evening would like to do, we will arrange it for her. We also attend the events with her. Neither Briana nor I will go alone on a Girls Night Out. We go together with our client and this gives her someone who will watch out for her, speak if she does not want to speak when it comes to ordering, and it also gives her an opportunity at sisterhood...she is able to go out with another crossdresser. This is a very proper evening with definite guidelines. This is to be nothing more than girlfriends going out together, we do not allow dates to be picked up during the evening, we do not allow anything vulgar to interfere in our clients night out. Our girls’ night out starts out at our home with a complete Male to Female Transformation...

Next Question..Yes, we would be delighted to travel to your city and make a presentation. If you want to set
it up, we could even do some initial consultations with some of your sisters and get them on line with Crossdresser Academy so that they can either have a makeover after the consultation or they can come to Columbus.

An item you did not mention is the photo shoots. These are wonderful. The ladies have great fun and there are three different packages. The least expensive is 48 shots, 3 wardrobe changes the most expensive package is one that a lady would like to have customized it is up to 96 photos, inside, outside or at sites chosen by the client and we can scan their photos, crop them and put them on disk for them also. The photo shoots gets girls to really see how they look fully dressed. For these shoots, some ladies rent our wigs, clothes, etc. because not all the ladies have everything they need. We have clothing sizes from size 12 all the way to a woman’s 24 and 26.

Thank you for asking us these questions and showing an interest in what we do... We are delighted

Much Love, Briana and Brandi

++++++++++++

Return to Contents

 

Upcoming Events

 

January – Second Saturday of Month

Discussion of Proposed Constitution

 

February – Second Saturday of Month

NATIONAL SO MONTH

Vote on Constituton

Nomination of Officers for Upcoming Year

 

March – Second Saturday of Month

Election of Officers

Formation of Committees

 

April – Second Saturday of Month

New Officers take Office

 

May – Second Saturday of Month

Program Open

 

June – Second Saturday of Month

Program Open

 

July – Second Saturday of Month

Program Open

SPICE – Richmond, VA July 10-14

 

August- Third Saturday of Month

Return to Contents

CAMPAIGN AGAINST WINN-DIXIE INTENSIFIES

The call has been issued to all activists and other interested parties who are against discrimination in any form.  January 4, 2002 is the date set for an awareness campaign pitting Winn-Dixie Stores against transgender, lesbian, gay and bisexual activist groups such as the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition (NTAC), Equality Florida, Georgia's Trans=Action, the Jacksonville Area Sexual Minority Youth Network (JASMYN), and others committed to battling prejudice.     

Organizers expect a large turnout to convene in front of the southern grocery giant's national headquarters in Jacksonville, Florida.  In view of the recent unrelated murder of last year's local organizer, Terrianne Summers, co-organizers are calling for a redoubled effort in memory of the slain activist.

Winn-Dixie Stores, Inc., a Fortune 500 company, has drawn fire over the past 15 months for firing a truck driver who crossdressed off-duty. Many have seen Winn-Dixie's firing of Peter Oiler as Corporate America's attempt at controlling employee behavior away from the workplace.

Apparently the grocery chain's management is feeling the pinch of the concerted effort on behalf of the fired transgendered employee. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) recently reported that Winn-Dixie is trying to shut down a website protesting the company's actions. The website is www.ShameOnWinnDixie.com.

A letter sent by Winn-Dixie's corporate attorney to a transgendered woman in Alabama who helped design the website made demands that the website be removed from the Internet "immediately."   Created and maintained by a coalition of activists working with the ACLU, the website contains contact information for Oiler's former supervisors and the executives involved in firing him.    

Matt Coles, Director of the ACLU Lesbian & Gay Rights Project, stated flatly that the attorney's demands are "groundless."

"ShameOnWinnDixie.com isn't going anywhere," said Courtney Sharp, a New Orleans transgendered activist.  Ms. Sharp, a member of NTAC, helped the Oilers find legal representation, organized the coalition of groups protesting the firing, and helped coordinate the awareness efforts and the website.  "This attempt to bully us out of holding Winn-Dixie accountable won't work. We're more energized than ever because our message is clearly getting through, and Winn-Dixie is nervous."

The ACLU's lawsuit on behalf of Oiler claims that Winn-Dixie violated state and federal laws barring sex discrimination by firing Oiler because he did not conform to the company's stereotyped notions of how a man ought to look and act.

"Winn-Dixie fired Peter Oiler because they thought he'd harm the company's image -- but now they see it's their own discrimination that's harming their image," said Coles of the ACLU.

In their website's 'Associates' Philosophy Section' for current or prospective employees, Winn-Dixie does not address the issues of sexual orientation or gender non-conformity.  They do, however, state they are "committed to the belief that all individuals deserve the utmost respect" and "are provided the opportunity to grow with the company based on their abilities."  It later goes on to point out their employees' "diverse backgrounds enrich [the] company from a competitive and business perspective."

Yet this same company would fire a valued employee with nearly twenty years on the job simply because his occasional crossdressing on the weekends was, perhaps, too diverse.  And though the employee's honesty was refreshingly open -- even absent any current issue for which to disclose, Peter Oiler had an image Winn-Dixie couldn't tolerate or respect.

The case is set to go to trial approximately the middle of next year.   

Return to Contents

 

A Letter from Jane Ellen

Dear Karen and Cheryl,

It is my great pleasure to inform you that Alpha Omega has been designated a Tri-Ess Flagship Chapter for the upcoming year! It is more difficult to evaluate a chapter whose fiscal year is not the calendar year, but your accomplishments since April have been truly remarkable. To change officers three months before SPICE, and give that event the support you did, marks you as a real can-do chapter. For the last three quarters your membership audits have shown increasing Tri-Ess membership. And that increase seems to be gaining momentum, in spite of the troubled times that have brought malaise to the transgender community as a whole. Your bringing together the regional transgender community at the October event was a landmark accomplishment, and I hope it grows into an annual celebration of community in your area. I always advise chapters that the key to success is to be very loyal to the Tri-Ess vision, and very committed to being a part of the community as a whole. You've achieved the grand stroke!

It is a time now to take time out to celebrate. But not for too long. A new challenge rises ahead of you. In order to maintain Flagship status, it is not sufficient merely to relax on the foundation of past accomplishments; rather, you must build upon them. You might want to look at increasing educational outreach in your area, motivating chapter members to submit more articles to the "Silhouette," and recruiting members to serve on the Tri-Ess Outreach Team and Big Sister Program. If everyone in the chapter contributes a little, you will amass a candlepower whose light will shine ever brighter throughout your region.

Congratulations, Sisters, for a job very well done!

Love to all of you,

Jane Ellen Fairfax, Chair

Tri-Ess Board of Directors

Return to Contents