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JULY 2000 Alpha Omega Minutes June 10, 2000 TENTATIVE SCHEDULE OF EVENTS – July 29, 2000 Introduction- The Greater Communities and Resources of Greater Cleveland
I would like to dedicate this
months newsletter to our
---Ari Alpha Omega Minutes June 10, 2000
President Diane Brennon called the meeting to order. Lori announced
that there are five new people here, Dorothy, Michelle, Sharon, Donna and
Michelle.
Diane Sofia volunteered to make new nametags. (Note Diane S. will
not be at July meeting, so no new name tags and no one is assigned to accompany
christmas carols)
Elaine Benton
The July meeting theme is “Christmas in July” so wrap up a gag gift or a “white elephant” gift and get ready to sing Christmas carols. A warm welcome to our first time attendees and new friends: Dorothy, Michelle & Donna, and Michelle, plus second time attendees Sara and Barb. I hope our group meets your needs in the gender community and that you come back often. Thanks to Diana and Linda for saving the meal for the June meeting. If it had not been for them and their trusty, not so little grill, we would have eaten pizza for two months in a row. On top of that they left a “Harley” rally, drove from the far Westside to the Eastside, cooked dinner, and then drove back to the rally. Again, we and our stomachs thank you. Also thanks to all who volunteered to submit to the newsletter. We really need to provide a strong publication to our membership, and your commitment to good communication is essential. Please submit articles as often as possible, and don’t hesitate to offer suggestions to make our newsletter even better. Attendance for the June meeting was record-breaking. In fact, attendance has been strong for several months. Thanks to all who come regardless of the weather or busy schedules. We hope to continue this trend and are proud of the growth that we are experiencing. Thanks for your support! Volunteers are needed to set up tables, chairs, etc. for the July meeting. Please e-mail me at your earliest convenience to dianeb3s@alltel.net (note new e-mail address). I really need your help starting at 4:45 p.m. Best regards,
July Menu:
Meetings for the balance of 2000:
TENTATIVE SCHEDULE OF EVENTS – July 29, 2000 5:30 – 6:00 PM Pick up Triess Boards members at
Volunteers are needed for setting up………..
They say there is no rest for the wicked, so I guess if that be the case, then Kathy and I must have been absolutely beyond redemption for the last few months. Kathy has been putting in long hours at her job, and my job has had me out of town a lot lately. And the long hours, and being out of town will be standard operating procedure for a few more months yet. There have also been just the day to day necessities to take care of that there is never enough time for. On a sad note, for the last few weeks Kathy and I have had at least one relative or someone close to us pass away each week. There have also been a wedding, and times for family that have taken their share of time. And before you know it a couple months have passed. For the first time in 11 1/2 years, I have missed two meetings in a row, and have had two newsletters in a row without at least one article of mine in it. Our lives have been so hectic for the last two months or so that it has been difficult to keep track of time, and even made us both feel very stressed out at times. The company I work for has closed a deal for the buyout of a company that has been a major competitor of ours down in Cincinnati. This process has been dragging on for some time, and I have been heavily involved with the preliminaries of getting ready to vastly increase our product line and add over 500 customers to our customer base. Now that we have a closing, the work load will be even more. I will be spending a lot of time in Cincinnati trying to put all the pieces together. It will be a huge challenge, and I do love a challenge; but time will be even more at a premium. The stress levels and the heat have done their share to make "being" Gloria a low priority lately. This happens every so often. But as Kathy knows from experience -- the blonde will return, and in due course, I will make up for the lost time. Right now, Martin has responsibilities and obligations to take care of. That's the way life is sometimes. Kathy and I are planning to make the July meeting, and look forward to seeing our friends, and sharing some time with you. As I mentioned, being "Gloria" has been on a back burner lately. That happens sometimes, where the need just isn't there for a while. And at other times the need far outweighs the time to do it. As I write this, it is 8:00 a.m. Sunday morning, and I will be on my way to Cincinnati again in another four hours. This is after getting home at 1:00 a.m. Saturday, and then spending a good share of Saturday morning in the office trying to take care of work that had piled up here. There really hasn't been any time to step back and recharge the batteries. But I'm a tough old bird, and we will get through this ordeal. Alpha Omega has not been out of our thoughts, and I would like to assure you all of that. Till we meet again --Take Care! Love Always,
Code of Discrimination
While reading through other newsletters from the other groups I came across this article. I found it in the May issue of the Crystal Chronicle and I thought that I would share it with you. A 17-year-old transgender youth in Gresham, Oregon was suspended from school after coming to class on April 21 dressed in a skirt and low-heeled pumps. Officials from Sam Barlow High School claim the suspension was warranted because Brian-Violet Peters (s/he has used both names) violated the school’s dress code, which bans “disruptive” or “distracting” clothing. According to gender rights activists, however, discrimination is the real culprit. GenderPAC’s executive director Riki Wilchins said, “How does a boy wearing a dress and suffering daily taunts and harassment differ from the first girl who wore pants to school suffering intense sexual harassment? This issue is not disruption but gender phobic school officials.” While school officials reprimanded some of Peters’ classmates for the taunts and created a new “respect policy,” which includes punishment for harassment of gay students, the school has closed the door on transgender students. Defending the school’s decision to suspend Peters, Linda Jassell, director of secondary education for the Gresham-Barlow school district was quoted in the Portland Oregonian (May 3, 2000) as saying, “We can restrict student expression and dress when it disrupts the learning environment for other kids.” Peters responded, “The message [school administrators] are sending to students is that I am not normal, That I am disruptive. That I am wrong.” “ANTICIPATION” As the countdown draws close (one months away), I’m thinking about the other times I was preparing for marriage. I can remember the hopes and dreams, the fears, the concerns. No matter how many times before, they are the same. I find that I am still scared of the unknown, of what may happen, of where we are going. I find that I hope that our lives together will be just as happy as some of the others that I have seen. I still dream of satin and lace, of romantic walks, of candlelight dinners, of sitting by a fireplace and ……… I find that I don’t fear the Lisa in our upcoming marriage. I’m quite used to her. At times, I think more so than I am Matt. He does manage to surprise me. Crossdressing is not an issue with me. It is a given part of our relationship, our little world. There are times when I wish it would go away but not at the risk of changing who Lisa/Matt is. They are one and the same…..a very sensitive, caring, loving person, one whom I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I anticipate our good days and I anticipate our bad. I accept that there will be both and I hope that we are enough in tune with each other to deal with both. I accept his faults as I hope that he accepts mine. They make us who we are and who we will become. I hope that all will join us as we start our journey upon the Rainbow Trail. All of you (Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane, Kathleen, Gloria, Sherry, Abby, Andrea, Allie, Debbie, Elaine, Olena, Paula, etc.) are very special to us. Each of you have contributed to us. Each of you have encouraged us, laughed with us or at us, smiled upon us. Please share the fruits of your efforts. We want to see all of Alpha Omega July 29th so we can personally thank each and every one of you.
Cheryl
This letter is in response to the discussions of the June 10 th A.O.
meeting. Linda and I thought it was a wonderful meeting, and we enjoyed
listening to members speak from their heart. I had mentioned at the meeting
that I felt that this is something that is needed on a more regular basis
for those who would like to participate. Linda and I would like to take
an active part in having such sessions. I would suggest that this
could be held from 6:15 PM to 7 PM each meeting in another room. This would
be a time and place to "speak and listen from the heart". Perhaps we could
title our discussion group as "SHARING FROM THE
Linda and I feel blessed to have found a home at AO. Namaste,
Submitted by: Linda
1. When did you first realize you were a cross dresser? I knew as a young child that I was different than my sisters.
I wanted to play with them, the girl-things, like games, imaginary parties
and I realized they were treated differently.
2. How did you handle this realization? I was terrified. I had no one to talk to. I carried out my fantasies in private. My best friends were girls and I listen to their stories and we talked a lot. I wanted to be them. 3. At what point did you share this with others? Prior to marrying for the first time, I brought my fiancée to the college library and had her read some of the excerpts from these psychology books. She read about crossdressing and said in so many words, so what. I didn't think she comprehended the complexity of the situation. We did share a lot of girl things together. But I remained extremely hateful of myself and I did everything I could to rid myself of who I was. But in the end I remained who I was and I did all I could to help Jan to leave me. If I had the knowledge then that I had now, there's a good chance we would still be together. It took a lot of soul searching and forgiving myself for what I did to shove her away. We remained married for 14 years before divorcing. I also told Elaine about me prior to marrying her. Her response was similar to my first spouse.... So what, I love you. I needed her in my life and we got married. Even at that time I really didn't know entirely what I was, so how could I be totally honest with her? It has been a test of the strength of our love and commitment. 4. What was the most exhilarating moment for you as a cross dresser? When I finally realized my life was mine and I was responsible for who I was. I had it within me the courage to be myself. 5. What was the biggest obstacle for you as a cross dresser and how did you overcome it? The greatest obstacle that I had (and continue working on) is that I
am worthy to be loved and that I need to love myself before anyone could
really love me.
6. How long have you and Elaine been married? Married July 26, 1986 7. At what point did Elaine know of your crossdressing? As I said earlier, I told her prior to proposing to her. 8. How did the two of you come to the comfortable relationship you now experience as a crossdresser and his wife? What "tools" did you use to arrive where you are? Comfort is a relative term. I have a lot of pain to base my comfort level on. I cannot speak for Elaine. Hey... how about some of you ask her? I feel that it the responsibility of each of us to constantly stay vigilant
of what we want from each other. If either of us harbors resentment
due to our choice to be together, then there is a problem. I feel
that there have been, and continue to be times in our relationship when
we come to the brink of saying to ourselves, "This is crazy. What
am I doing in this relationship?" Since I am writing in response
to the questions I will tell you the mechanism that helps me the most.
I made a vow before God and Elaine to love, cherish and to forsake all
others. I also understand that there is nothing in life that can
make us happy if we can't be happy with ourselves and with the ones we
love. Is there someone else that could make me happier? With
all our faults, I can say emphatically NO!
9. If you had only one sentence of advise to give to other CDs, what would it be? Be courageous enough to love and accept who you are, otherwise you cannot
help make anyone else happy. (Repeat frequently the prayer of St. Francis.)
10. How long have you been a member at AO? Started February of 1989. 11. Do you remember your first meeting? Tell us about how you felt and how you feel now. How can anyone not remember your first meeting? It was like coming
home. I was in so much pain for so long, thinking I was the only
person crossdressing that I found it easy to accept others wherever they
were in their expression. I was more than comfortable.
12. What is the single biggest advantage of belonging to AO for you? AO is a place where you can love others and others can love and accept you unconditionally without being hurt or dehumanized.
Introduction- The Greater Communities and Resources of Greater Cleveland By Diane Frank One great act of courage that we all have in common is stepping through
the door into an Alpha-Omega meeting and confronting the fact that we are
not unique, and not alone. The reward we get for this brave act is
the support and wisdom of a community, the chance to share ourselves safely
and freely, and a the chance to give of ourselves to others. But
the truth of the
Alpha Omega is not for everybody. It has a mission, and to fulfill
that mission it must neglect other ones. But as we grow in understanding
and compassion we grow to care that people who need a community find
their place, and that as a community of communities we are aware, informed
and respectful of alternatives. Any of us could find ourselves trying
to help a
This article is the first in a series dedicated to introducing other
resources in our local area to our members. Having the curiosity,
the desire, the time and the willingness to share what I learn I am also
eager to write about it. I am undertaking to define a broad list of fraternal
and sororital organizations, support services and less formal communities
in the greater area, to
I anticipate many benefits from this effort. First, our better informed members can help others better. Second we can forge ties with other organizations, share information and concerns on an organizational level. With good ties we can support each other when we have common cause. Third, by visiting these organizations we can make sure that our community is more broadly known, and reach more people who need us. Fourth, we can always learn new ideas and approaches to building a better group and serving our members needs. With this said, I ask that you look over the list at the bottom and
let me know what organizations I have left out. Some of the organizations
deal with issues that are sexual in nature or might otherwise be challenging
for some of us in the context of AO's mission. For example there
are support groups for people interested in sado-masochism and for bisexuality.
It is not my desire to affront AO members with distasteful subjects.
But I would ask that those who might find articles about such organizations
repellent to consider that in the eyes of many AO and its activities are
no less repellent. My objective is neither to promote nor to condemn
but to inform that we may better help others and ourselves.
Also, some of the articles
Diane S. Frank
Candidates for Articles Paradise Club
Kristen was one of the first members I had met upon joining Alpha Omega. Together with her wife Joanne, they demonstrated the gentleness and love that only years of companionship could develop. Quietly Kristen made her presence known with a friendly word and a smile. Always a lady, she treated all the same – with dignity. I wish that all could have met her and come to know one of our finest members. Good-bye Kristen. Rest peacefully in God’s loving arms.
GIRL OF THE MONTH
FEMME NAME: Kristin Ann
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE AS A CROSSDRESSER WAS AT THE AGE OF:
MY GOAL AS A CROSSDRESSER IS:
WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT BEING A CROSSDRESSER:
WHAT I LIKE LEAST ABOUT BEING A CROSSDRESSER:
THE ONE WORD THAT DESCRIBES WHAT CROSSDRESSING MEANS TO ME:
IF I COULD CHANGE ONE THING IN THE WORLD, IT WOULD BE:
MY THOUGHTS ON BEING THE PERSON THAT I AM:
However, having found the comradery, support and understanding of Alpha Omega, I know that my challenge is not the same road as I walked alone before. It took 42 years to come out of the closet. I had to - there was no more room with Kristin's clothes! And life does begin at 40!!
HOME ALONE
It was as if Friday would never come. The anticipation of that elusive day was like being a school girl waiting impatiently for her first date. You see, with two inquisitive teenagers, Kristin seldom has the opportunity to be herself at home. But this Friday would be different. My daughter had been away at camp for the past week and would not return until Saturday. My wife, Joanne, was leaving Friday morning for a class reunion in Michigan. My son was the only obstacle left. Being somewhat of a con-artist, it wasn't very difficult to convince my son how concerned I was for his mother traveling alone and that she needed a MAN for support. It worked, even though I am sure Joanne would rather have Robert Redford instead! Concentrating at work was hopeless as I tried to decide what outfit Kristin would wear that night. It must have been the first day of Summer. It was the longest day I have ever had to endure. But endure I did, and at 4:30 I was out the door heading for home with a brisk tailwind. Upon reaching home I was surprised to discover my neighbor, the Baptist minister, was having a yard party with both our adjoining drives full of his guests. As I negotiated my way up the drive, my heart sank as one of my unanswered question had just been solved. I still did not know what I was going to wear but I did know where I was going and it was not where I wanted to send my neighbor! Being a good neighbor, I quickly entered my house, kicked off my shoes, threw a TV dinner (no pun intended) into the oven and headed to the bathroom for that sadistic ritual with a razor. After eating, I returned to the bathroom to attempt a work of magic. After months of practice with applying makeup at Lakewood Manor, I was greatly surprised at what one can do when there is a little light on the subject. Determined not to waste my makeup efforts for only my dog to see, I was going to have to leave the house, neighbors or not. My wardrobe was not quite as easy as the makeup. After trying on nearly everything in Kristin's closet, I advanced to my wife's with little success. Now it was time to invade my daughter's lair. To my surprise I found a top that went perfect with my black stirrup pants. I always complained that my daughter bought her clothes too large and they looked sloppy on her. She just replied I was old fashioned because that was today's style. Well, this old girl will never complain again.... Thank Heaven For Sloppy Little Girls! Donning a new wig, it was time to check once again on the progress of my neighbor's party. Only a few people remained and as it was almost dark I thought I would wait about 30 minutes before leaving. I still had not made up my mind where to go. The movies seemed to be about the safest, since Joanne and Kristin have gone several times in the past. But.... this will be the first time by myself. How I wish I had called another Alpha Omega sister! The movie I had hoped to see, "Far and Away", had been showing the day before at a nearby cinema but today it had changed to "Lethal Weapon 3". For some reason I felt that this type of movie was not what I would expect a single young lady to see by herself! I had hoped to go to a theater which only showed one movie. That way I would only have to give the attendant the correct change and not say a word, just smile. Well, the only theater that had late showings I could make in time was a multi-screen theater halfway across the county. This posed another concern. I know many police officers throughout the county. That is why my wife always drives whenever Kristin goes out and then we usually travel to another county. The last guest had just left my neighbor's house. It was the hour of truth. Does she or doesn't she? With a deep breath I grabbed my purse and headed for my... pickup truck. Yes ladies, all of us country gals drive pickup trucks. And I still have not found a graceful way to get in or out of them. Well off I went, paying so much attention to the traffic laws I was nearly four miles from home before I noticed the gas gauge was on empty. Knowing how inaccurately the gas gauge reads, I was sure I had enough gas to get to the movies and back. But this was not the time to fool around and leave my fate to a gas gauge. The self-serve station I chose didn't have any customers so I felt a little safer. I sat there for a few moments, took another deep breath and started to get out just as four customers drove in. It was too late to do anything else so I just tried to relax and do what any young lady would do - act helpless, fumble with the gas cap and the controls on the gas pump. By the time I had finished (And I thought my day at work was long!) two gentlemen were already inside paying. I had to walk between two vehicles, which both had occupants, to get to the office. One gentlemen who had just paid, held the door for me as he gave me a polite smile. As I waited impatiently in line, I kept wondering was my makeup and wig OK. They must have been because the clerk didn't even bat an eyebrow as my shaking hand gave him the money. Trying to be graceful and ladylike, I quickly hurried back to the security of my truck. With a full tank and my confidence reassured, I was ready to take on the world, or at least the movie theater! Heading out of the gas station in the wrong direction, however, was not much of a confidence builder! But I did get to the theater just as their final picture of the night was starting. As I chased past three security guards, I noticed the lobby only had a few customers at the snack counter. Maybe it was a good thing I had gone in the wrong direction, because now I was not encountering a crowed lobby full of teenagers. With money in hand, I nervously approached the young lady behind the ticket counter. She asked could she help me and for the first time Kristin spoke to a stranger. In a voice as faint and feminine as I could muster, I requested a ticket to the show that had just started. I began to feel more relaxed once I entered the dimly-lit theater and found a seat that was not too conspicuous. Even though I had not planned to see this particular show, I found it very funny, which helped me feel more at ease. It was after midnight by the time the credits started to roll past on the screen. As the house lights came up, I thought the best thing to do was leave as quickly as possible by blending into the exiting crowd. I had no problems, not even a close encounter, as I made my way through the lobby and past several teenage boys girl-watching in front of the theater. As I drove home, this time in the right direction, my confidence was at a all time high. Alone, Kristin had gone forth and met the world and survived. Nothing could ruin this moment! And then the euphoria of the moment was shattered. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted the DREADED SHERIFF'S CAR. He pulled out behind me and started to follow me down the road. These guys know my truck and they know right were I live. I was only a few miles from home but I knew if I pulled into my drive at this late hour, they would follow right behind expecting some coffee. Wouldn't they be surprised coffee, tea and ME! I decided to drive by my house and turn down a nearby country road. My luck was with me that night. They just kept going straight. Well, I did make it home OK with only a few more gray hairs. But by
now I am sure you are wondering what movie I saw. Well, I will tell you
this much: White Men CAN Jump... especially if they are EN FEMME!
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