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La Femme Silhouette December 2000
Last month I stressed the importance of Alpha Omega members also being members of Triess International. Somewhere along the line, some people misunderstood my message and felt that we would do away with the associate membership and not allow anyone to attend our meetings who does not belong to Triess. To clear up this matter and some other misunderstandings, here are the contents of a statement I read at the November meeting. The focus of Triess and Alpha Omega is and always has been the concern and support for heterosexual crossdressers, their partners and families. However, we welcome anyone who shares and supports our views and beliefs concerning crossdressing and we do not discriminate against anyone. We feel it is important to maintain some type of an associate membership for our friends who don’t fall under the definition of a "crossdresser". This has been our group’s philosophy ever since my involvement in Alpha Omega began, and I see no reason to change at this time. It is also important that in our idle conversation, we do not inadvertently or intentionally hurt others ‘ feelings because we don’t agree with the way they choose to express their gender. The gender continuum is vast and none of us are at exactly the same place along this continuum. Therefore, we must be sensitive to and respectful of everyone’s gender expression. This does not mean we will become an open group and lose our focus. We will still require acceptable and respectable behavior from our members and guests, but we must maintain open minds and achieve some balance. I welcome your comments on the above. Please send me an email or better yet, put your comments in an article for the next newsletter. I would like to propose a new vehicle for our friends to lend their support to Alpha Omega, "Friends of Alpha Omega". People who do not define themselves as heterosexual crossdressers or the partner of a heterosexual crossdresser fall into this category would receive all club communications, attend meetings, and join in our activities. They would not be considered members under the definition stipulated in the Alpha Omega Constitution and by-laws and would not have any voting rights. Again, I welcome your thoughts and comments concerning this and would like to explore this in more depth at future meetings. In closing, Andrea and I wish all of you a safe and happy holiday season. We hope to see all of you at the Christmas party. Diane Brennan Conversation & Snacks: 6:00 PM Dinner: 7:00 PM Main Course Roast Beef & Ham Catered Potato Mashed or Scalloped Catered Snacks Pretzels & Chips Gloria & Kathleen Bread ????? Karen Veggies Veggie & Relish Trays Gloria & Kathleen Hot Donna Hot Diane Frank Salads Potato & Macaroni Marissa Desserts Fudge Elaine & Debbie Something Wonderful Paula ???? Candice ???? Karen
Entertainment:
We have plenty of openings, don’t be afraid to sign up. All you have to do is arrive a little early and be able to handle some light work.
Why me? Why is everything I undertake such a challenge to my survival? Attending Holiday En Femme was no exception. My plane left Cleveland Hopkins Thursday 4:48PM (on time)…..that was the only part of the trip that went right. We reached Phoenix 7:08PM at Gate 28. My next flight was to leave Phoenix Gate 13, 7:54PM. After checking with the airline for accuracy, I lugged the heavy laptop etc all the way down two complexes from one end to the other. There it was – GATE 13! It even said Burbank ON TIME! I sat down and proceeded to wait while the plane unloaded. After undeterminable amount of time, I became uneasy. No one was being loaded on. Even the people at the desk left. Now I was more than uneasy. Going to the nearest manned-desk, I discovered they had changed the gate to 30 which was almost back where I started. To my dismay, my plane had left without me but with my suitcase…………Having been up 24 hrs, I was almost in tears but managed to compose myself. I approached the service desk with trepidation. Of course, nothing can be easy for me……that was the last flight to Burbank that day. They were willing to fly me to LAX and shuttle me from there to Burbank airport to pick up my suitcase. At least they did it first class. Now LAX is huge…….I think we taxied for a week before getting to the gate but at least I was on the ground in the right State. I managed to find the service desk and get my shuttle pass but finding the shuttle was another story. I’ve heard stories about the crowded highways of Los Angeles but no one bothered to tell me they included the airport. Dodging cars was the most activity I’ve had in years and more than I ever cared to have. Off we went to Burbank. Did you ever go into a dark airport? I have…….NOW! Burbank was closed. There were 2 people behind a dark counter for another airlines otherwise the place was empty. I decided to check the baggage claim area and it was empty. Behind the door, I could see my suitcase. Talk about temptation! I seriously considered breaking the window but decided not to…..I haven’t the faintest reason why. I then went to the courtesy phone and called the hotel for the shuttle. They don’t have one…….at least not after 9. Wouldn’t it have been nice to have been told that? At this point, I lost it. I’d been awake 29 hrs and was no closer to bed than when I’d left Cleveland. I sat on the curb and sobbed…..all that ran through my mind, was "I want to go home". Finally I hailed a taxi and $18 later found myself roomless at the hotel. They couldn’t find my confirmed reservations. It was only when I threatened to sleep on the lobby floor that they finally found me a room. The clerk behind the counter took the information on my luggage and promised to have their shuttle get it in the morning. I should be so lucky…… The next morning no one knew anything about it. With Maggie beside me, we managed to get the hotel to start locating it. You see, now my luggage was lost. Eight phone calls later, we finally managed to convince the airline to check the claim tag in the computer. OH NO! They had sent it to LAX because I had been re-routed there. GEEZ! What morons! But they promised to get it to the hotel by 3 PM. Feeling decidedly grubby, and crabby, I reluctantly agreed. 5:50 PM approached and no luggage! Are we surprised? I would have been surprised if it would have shown up. Again I called the airline and was told he left to deliver it at noon. They promised to call me back once they figured out what was going on. Me – I went to dinner in the clothes I’d been wearing for two days. I figured I’d tell everyone that I liked my outfit so much that I bought several sets, travel stains and all. 9PM I returned to my room and there in the middle of my floor was my beloved suitcase. Sigh…….My suitcase has qualified for frequent flyer miles. Cheryl
This month’s Rainbow Trail will pertain to the Triess Board Meeting held November 11, 2000 at the Holiday en Femme in Burbank, California. Over the past several months, Rho Tau Chapter and National have been working out the possibility of producing en femme ID cards. The card will show the bearer in both gender roles providing a positive form of identification. Wording would be "This card identifies the holder as a member of Tri-Ess, a worldwide, non-profit educational and outreach organization for crossdressers and their families. In most cases, crossdressing is a mater of expressing transgendered elements of the personality. This card is intended to be used in conjunction with another appropriate form of ID, in order to facilitate understanding of the carrier’s gender presentation." Although it will not be a legal ID, it should help to minimize concerns in awkward situations. Approved by the Board, the cost will be $20 of which part will be sent to Triess for it’s outreach program. Further information such as for ordering will be following in the near future. Also approved was the 100 Club. Any member whose age plus years of Triess membership equals 100 will receive free lifetime membership in Triess. Department Reports followed: 1. Department of Spouses’ and Partners’ Support: Dr. Peggy Rudd announced the upcoming research in preparation for her new book – THE JOY OF CROSSDRESSING to be published in 2001. I presented the plans for SPICE2001 all of which were approved. (Note: I again visited the hotel before HEF and have tentatively planned the meals). Speakers and programs are still in the works. I also mentioned that A-O was in the process of planning their participation in SPICE.
3. Mary Frances reported on the MIRROR. Since Triess also includes several F-M CD’s, LA FEMME MIRROR is henceforth the MIRROR. Since the cost of producing the MIRROR is so high, rather than increasing dues we are investigating the possibility of increasing the cost of advertising. Currently we charge one of the lowest rates. Discussion was also made about either increasing the number of professional articles in the MIRROR or having two MIRRORS. The majority were for the former and this will be further researched.
As you can see, the Tri-Ess Board has a lot of activity going on and the future is bright for increased growth and opportunity. Respectfully, Cheryl Director, SPICE
Cheryl Seymour 1. When did you first realize your SO was a cross dresser? How were you told? A: I actually knew Lisa long before I knew Matt. In fact, I met Lisa through Alpha Omega. Megan, I caught dressed one day. 2. How did you handle this realization? A: For me, it was no problem. Based on my past history with Megan, I had already come to terms with CD and other transgendered issues. Lisa was a known entity. Megan threw me into an emotional abyss. I never understood that someone could get so low that a bottle of pills seemed the only answer - until then. With a long of therapy and work, I realized that the CDing was the catalyst, not the problem. 3. Did you share this news with others? A: With Megan, I didn't have to......My children had been let in on the secret long before me. 4. Does your family know of your SO's CDing? A: All of my children and their spouses know and are very supportive. Even one of our grandchildren know. Although he is afraid of the wig and Looks at Lisa rather strangely, he is only 1 and hasn't figured out that Lisa And Matt are the same. So I'm sure the voice throws him off. 5. What was your biggest obstacle as the partner of a CD? I find that when we are out, I want to protect Lisa. I get fearful that those on the outside will take their bigotry out on her. I had to learn that I can't take on that responsibility. She knows the possibilities and that I'll stand with her but I can't be "macho-wife". 6. If you had only one sentence of advise to give to other SOs, what would that be? A: GO SLOW WITH BABY STEPS and communicate! 7. How long have you been a member of Alpha Omega? A: I guess I'm one of the oldsters......almost 11 years now 8. Do you regularly attend AO meetings? A: I've missed at most 10 meetings in 10 years so I guess that is fairly regular. 9. What do you enjoy most about the meetings? A: I love talking and meeting with others especially the new people. 10. What ideas do you have on how the meetings might be improved for SOs? A: I think at times we need to have more focus on couple issues and that more interactive activities such as role-playing could be productive. Also SO's need to be actively encouraged to participate in the mechanics of the group such as heading committees. Active participation means growth and that is what AO is all about. 11. How long have you been with your CD? A: Lisa and I "dated" for almost 2 years before we got married this summer. Megan and I were married 15 years. 12. What arrangement has worked best for you and your CD (in regards to CDing) A: Lisa and I are fairly open about it. She usually dresses when she feels like it. If it is a nondress day for me, I let her know and she usually goes with my feelings. We are very open about our needs and it has worked so far. 13. Are children involved? What are your feelings about their involvement? A: My children all know. I wish that their introduction to CDing had been less traumatic (Megan) but I am certainly glad to know that they have the chance to know others who are more representative of the "normal" transgendered community. 14. If there are children, what are their ages? A: 30, 29, 24, 20, 12 15. Do the children know about the CDing? A: They all know and accept it. 16. What is the biggest obstacle you have overcome as a SO of a CD? A: (answer #5) 17. Are you involved in any other activities outside Alpha Omega as a CD and SO? (i.e., dining, shopping, etc. while your SO is "dressed"?) A: Lisa and I have gone shopping. We've attended Holiday en Femme, Riverside. With our schedules, we do not have as many opportunities as we would like. There are only 24 hours in a day. 18. What portion of your life together is committed to CDing? (i.e., 5%,10%,50%, etc.) A: With all the responsibilities we have, we spend a lot of time on CD issues......Maybe as much as 30-40%....Although I think that could be a low estimate. 19. What other hobbies and interests do you share as a couple? A: We both love computers, read a lot, and plan on traveling anywhere and everywhere. We're still developing our togetherness. 20. How has your attitude changed from the first time you knew about his CDing and now? A: I don't think it has changed. You would have to ask Lisa about it. I think changes in a person are more noticed by those around him. So Lisa would know if my attitude has changed any. I can say that it has changed drastically through the years. I know that I am by far more accepting now than I was when married to Megan. But I feel that I had stabilized by the time Lisa and I met. Thank-you for allowing this interview and your willingness to contribute and communicate your feelings and experiences as a SO of a CD. This sharing will help create a better understanding and awareness for Significant Others, CDs, their families and friends. Copyright 2000 The Alpha Omega Chapter of Triess |
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