© 1996, Diane Kholos Wysocki.  All materials here may be used for academic purposes only.  I do not ask that you obtain permission before quoting from any of my work, however the use of the material for any other reason other than academic research is allowed only with my expressed permission which is obtainable by email.  If you cite this work, please send me a copy via wysockid@unk.edu.

Proper Citation

Citations of this work for academic purpose should use the following standard form:

Wysocki, D. K.  1992.  Construction of Sex, Gender, & Sexuality: A Look at the Lives of Male transvestites.  
Unpublished master's thesis, University of California , Santa Barbara (Sociology)

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Dedication and Acknowledgments

Abstract

Chapter 1:      Introduction

Chapter 2:      Literature Review

Chapter 3:      Theoretical Framework

Chapter 4:      Transvestism: Literature Review

Chapter 5:      Methodology

Chapter 6:      Results   The Life of a Male transvestite

Chapter 7:      Discussion and Conclusions

Chapter 8:      Bibliography
 
Diane Kholos Wysocki's Home Pages

There are a few people that were very important to the completion of this paper.

Dr. Denise Bielby, my chair.  Denise spent many hours on this paper with me.  She made time for me once a week for a long as I needed talking with me about ideas, helping me over rough parts, rewriting and more rewriting.  She was available for long distance phone calls from wherever I happened to be to talk me through a problem and was there for whatever I needed.  Thank you for taking being my chair so seriously.  I learned a lot on many levels.

Dr. Beth Schneider, for being the one who first suggested a MA on transvestites.  Way at the beginning while doing a paper for another class, Beth encouraged me to not waste time doing two different projects and to turn my work on transvestism into my MA.  She has given me valuable comments throughout the projects.

Dr. Ken Plummer, who has done quite a bit of work in the area of cross dressing.  I am glad he was visiting UCSB during the year of my project and willing to be part of it.  His knowledge of the transvestism literature was priceless and his summaries of books he thought I could use were an added plus.

Dr. Harvey Molotch.  We didn't spend much time talking about this project, but I had fun talking about it with him. He was so helpful.  His excitement about the project and his encouragement in future possible publications is truly appreciated.

And finally, to all my respondents.  I could not have completed this project without their willingness to give of themselves so completely.  Thank you.

   Three areas of individual identity - sex, gender, and sexuality - are used to study how transvestic males manage their lives.  By using men who impersonate women on a temporary basis, new avenues are opened into how these categories are overlapped, blended, recombined, and managed.  The data collection was accomplished in three ways: 1) a two part questionnaire 2) interviews 3) computer bulletin boards.  One hundred and twenty two subjects answered the demographic information which indicates that the majority of the subjects are in their 40's, married with children, are white, Christian, have completed college or higher, hold professional jobs such as engineers, scientists, and public health administrators, and claim to be heterosexual. Although the majority state they have told their wives or girlfriends of their cross dressing, most wives or girlfriends do not react favorably.
      In order to understand what parts of masculinity these men reject and how they manage cross dressing within their day to day male roles, the population used for the 2nd part of the study were only men who stated they were currently married and heterosexual, which resulted in 33 subjects being used for this part of the analysis.
     Findings suggest that the men in this study believe that gender roles are dichotomous and that they have no freedom to express any traits that they believe are feminine within the confines of their masculine role.  Yet, it becomes problematic because most of the men in this sample did not have a clear idea of what being a women really involves and therefore portray their feminine side often times as hyper feminine; passive, emotional, quiet, submissive, and sexual. Similarly, the majority of men have no desire to change their sex, which might indicate their need to "play" at being a women while retaining the privilege of being a male.

 
"The Discovery is, of course, that "man"
and "women" are fiction, caricatures,
 cultural constructs."
 
 Andrea Dworkin 1974
 

     Three areas of an individual's identity - sex,  gender, and sexuality    - will be studied within the framework of this paper.  I will look at heterosexual males, who choose to exhibit the gender of the opposite sex - men who consider themselves transvestites - to see how they manage their lives.  I believe that by using men who impersonate themselves as women on a temporary basis will open new avenues into how the categories; sex, gender, and sexuality are overlapped, blended, recombined, and managed.
    Gagnon (personal interview 5/92) states that, for transvestites, the roles of the biological female, quite simply, can be divided into two parts, "women's work" and "sex work."   "Women's work" includes the day to day duties of cooking, cleaning, and caretaking, which seem to be of little interest to transvestites.  "Sex work" in contrast, includes the more subtle aspects of femaleness; such as the "femininity" of being a subordinate, putting on make up, wearing high heeled shoes, and being more emotionally open.  This is the aspect of being a woman that seems to be of most interest to transvestites.
     Society strongly encourages men to converge their masculine identity is such a way that they must adhere to very strict guidelines of masculinity.  However, since transvestites are different because they choose to display what they describe as a "feminine" aspect of their personality, management of their two gender choices becomes an important issue and one that I believe must be investigated.  By studying males who state they are a transvestites, yet who retain the privilege of being males in this society, I hope to determine  1) what aspects of being a woman are borrowed, found pleasurable, and therefore portrayed, and 2) what parts of masculinity are retained while others are rejected.
       Given the degree to which sex, gender, and sexuality are constructed within this society, the purpose of this project is to:
1)  investigate what male transvestites are rejecting about masculinity and to find out how they reconfigure their gender identity;
2)  to see how transvestism is managed within their day to day life;
3)  to see how the need to manage and hide their transvestism affects their self identity and self esteem.
 

Chapter 2:  Literature Review

                                 "One is not born, but rather

                                   becomes a Women"

                                  Simone de Beauvoir

 

           Sex is understood to be a continuum of "ascribed biological features of chromosomes, gonads, and hormones" that fit into categories of either male or female (Lorber & Farrell, 1991:7).  Sometimes, an individual will not fall into one of the two categories (Lorber & Farrel, 1991), but instead is born with genitals that are neither or both female or male. It has been estimated that this condition, called hermaphrodite or intersex, occurs in only a few people, yet often enough to have been researched (de Savitsch, 1958; Martin & Vorhies, 1975; Talamini, 1982; Nanda, 1990).  In other societies, intersexed individuals live full productive lives within their communities, as is the cases of the Sererr of Kenya (Martin & Vorhies, 1975), the Hijras of India (Nanda, 1990), and the Nadle of the Navajos (Martin & Vorhies, 1975).  However, within our society it is unacceptable for a child to not fit physically into one of the two sex categories.  Therefore, medical intervention is frequently performed to rectify the situation, usually as a result of parents and physicians who are unable to deal emotionally with a "genderless" child (Kessler, 1990).
         While sex is the biological component of an individual, gender is the "cultural aspect of the differences between men and women" (Edwards, 1989:1).  Individuals learn, recognize, and reproduce masculine and feminine traits that are displayed through interactions with each other (West & Zimmerman, 1991:17), giving "gender appearance the key factor in social communication" (Woodhouse, 1989:7).  Based on Kessler & McKenna`s (1978) theory of gender construction, "gender attribution is a developmental process in which children learn culturally variable rules for categorizing by gender," which by approximately age of four or five (Laws & Schwartz, 1977), becomes "fixed, unvarying, and static" (West & Zimmerman, 1991:13).  In fact, Chodorow states (1989:168) that "gender is built right into our heads and divides the world into females and males."
         Sometimes the sex category, male or female, does not correspond with the gender portrayed (Garfinkel, 1967), masculine or feminine, but instead are conflicting (Thio, 1992).  In some societies crossing over the gender lines of masculine and feminine are not always seen as something negative, such as the Berdache Indians (Williams, 1992).  However, in our society it is often seen quite negatively and causes conflict for the individual with peers, siblings, and parents (Green, 1987).
         Traditionally sexuality has been explained by three paradigms - instinct, drive, and energy    - that assume that sexuality equals heterosexuality, making heterosexuality the norm (Fergunson, 1989).  Similarly, popular sexologists such as Havelock Ellis, Kinsey, and Masters and Johnson have constructed a model of sexuality that "reflects and reproduces male supremacy which then becomes seen as natural and universal", making "normal" male sexuality based upon control over women (Coveney, Jackson, Jeffreys, Kay, & Mahony, 1984:11).
         In contrast many researchers (e.g. Rich, 1983; Weeks, 1986; Green, 1987; Baldwin & Baldwin, 1989; Vance, 1989)  believe sexuality is socially constructed.  Jeffery Weeks (1986) in The Invention of Sexuality states that:
We must learn to see that sexuality is something which society produces in complex ways.  It is a result of diverse social practices that give meaning to human activities, of social definitions and self-definitions, of struggles between those who have power to define and regulate, and those who resist.  Sexuality is not given, it is a product of negotiation, struggle and human agency (Weeks, 1986:25).
        While many individuals are taught from childhood that the only acceptable sexual preference is heterosexuality, then one might question how men who sometimes choose to be "woman" view and enact their sexuality and how it becomes constructed.  By studying the social construction of sexuality we might determine if transvestism gives these a way of acting on homosexual tendencies under the guise of heterosexuality and therefore enabling them to perceived as acceptable?
        An essential aspect of the social construction of sexuality is sexual identity.  Sexual identity, the categories individuals use to locate themselves in relation to others (Michener, DeLamater, & Schwartz, 1990) begins to emerge, typically with the onset of puberty (Gagnon & Simon, 1973).  This emerging identity evolves around the individual's attempt to go along with sexual scripts that are made available to them (Laws & Schwartz, 1977; Simon & Gagnon, 1984; Doctor, 1988).   Laws & Schwartz (1977:2) describe sexual scripts as "repertoire of acts and status's that are recognized by a social groups, together with the rules, expectations, and sanctions governing these acts and status's." Similarly, Gagnon & Simon (1973:19) state that "without the proper elements of a script that defines the situation, names the actors, and plots the behavior, nothing sexual is likely to happen."  Scripts are a way of anticipating how behavior comes to be enacted (Simon & Gagnon, 1984). Sexual scripts occur on 3 levels - cultural, interpersonal, and intrapshyic    - and are available for most interactions among people, such as courtship, romantic love, flings, serious relationships, orgasms, marriage, cohabitation, and even swinging (Laws & Schwartz, 1977).
       Males and females learn very different scripts as they grow up.  By puberty, scripts for both sexes become "emphatically heterosexual and oriented towards marriage" (Laws & Schwartz, 1977:39), and differentiated by sex in their gender enactment of sexuality.  Scripts are learned from peers, movies, books, and magazines, in preparation for an individual to act within the dominant sexual scripts of society.  Although there are alternative sexual scripts such as, sadism, masochism, swinging, or transvestism, often times the individual is unaware of them (Laws & Schwartz, 1977).
           Given this conceptual framework, we might expect the study of male heterosexual transvestites will reveal how individuals manage challenging the rigid scripts that society sets up for sex, gender, and sexuality.  Moreover, by focusing on the recombination of identities associated with sex, gender, and sexuality, we will see how individuals mange that repackaging.  Although some societies have no difficulties accepting men whose gender is different from their biological sex and who are not heterosexual (Martin & Vorhies, 1975; Nanda, 1990) this society does.  Because the "norm" in our society views sex, gender, and sexuality as completely overlapping and dichotomous, investigating males who choose to "play" at being another gender, while not changing their sex, makes it possible to evaluate which elements of scripts for sex, gender and sexuality that  transvestites choose to retain, which they defy, and why.
 

        Given the total overlap of sex, gender, and sexuality in our society and the rigidity with which those categories are managed, variations on those overlaps are regarded as deviant. Society often demands that all of those categories must converge perfectly and when they don't, as in the case of transvestities, they are violating the "norms" of society.  That, in itself, makes transvestites "different", stigmatized, and needing to manage their dual identities as a "deviant".  Therefore the framework in which this study informs the identity and managment of transvestism is deviance.
         Deviance is most often defined as any action or behavior that violates or deviates from social norms (Fournet, Forsyth, & Schramm, 1988; Thio, 1992) and is used as a way of drawing boundaries between legitimate and illegitimate practices (Cloward & Ohlin, 1960).  Kelly (1989) suggests that the study of deviance can be looked at from seven perspectives  , however, for this paper I will look at the interactionist approach to becoming deviant.  This approach focuses on individuals, how deviant identity is developed while being managed through the deviant career, and how society plays a part in the stigma associated with considering oneself deviant.
        Studies by Becker (1963) Adler & Adler (1983) and others  show the transition of identity into deviant status.  Adler & Adler (1983) analyzed the career paths of drug smugglers to outline the process of becoming deviant.  They found that drug dealers went through three levels or stages of increased involvement with the deviant activity; low-level entry drug dealers, followed by middle level entry drug dealers, then  on to smugglers.  Many oscillate in and out of the drug trafficking, yet few, if any were successful in completely leaving the activity.
        Similarly, Becker's (1963) study on "marijuana users" emphasized the sequential model of deviant identity and the development of a deviant career.  This model views deviance of an individual as: "a sequence of movements from one position to another in an occupational system made by any individual who works in that system " (Becker, 1963:24).
       This model takes into account that behavior develops in orderly sequence that carries an individual into deviant identity.  The individual must first behave in some way that is considered nonconforming.  This act does not necessarily have to be consciously motivated, and often is done by someone who has no intention of committing the act, as in the case of Becker's marijuana "beginner" user.  In the second step, the individual is considered an "occasional" user, where use is sporadic and dependent on chance factors such as availability, secrecy, and/or fear of punishment from family, friends or employer.  In the final step in the deviant career becomes a "regular" user.  This often  includes involvement in an organized deviant group.  Participation in a subculture and minimal contact with nonusers is necessary to keep the deviant behavior secret.
       For a deviant behavior to continue, the individual must find ways to neutralize or distance themselves from the negative aspects of their careers (Levi, 1989).  For instance, Levi found that professional hit man were able to avoid a deviant ascription if the killer had the ability to detach or reframe from the killing.  Similarly, Hong & Duff (1989) investigated the neutralization process of taxi dancers, women who danced with men for money, to see how they cope with the unpleasantness of their job.  Findings indicate that if a taxi dancer remained after the first week of work, she was likely to develop relationships with other dancers.  Through them she learned neutralization techniques which could teach the novice various denial techniques, usually in the second and third weeks of work.  By the forth week the taxi dancer needed few neutralization techniques and developed a positive response to the job.
        Labeling theorists (Kitsuse, 1962; Becker, 1963) have found that most deviants are not solitary, but develop friendships within their social world, called subcultures, that have rules and regulations similar to the society at large (Millman & Kanter, 1975:260).  Subcultures, either large or small, successfully detach the deviant group from the larger society.  Groups communicate with each other, have at least one shared goal, and have specific expectations.  Group members develop a concept of themselves as part of a group which sometimes becomes central to their personal identities (Michener, DeLamater, Schwartz, & Merton, 1990).  These identities are often stable and long lasting (Becker, 1963).
         Individuals who are members of a subculture develop "complicated historical, legal, and psychological justification for their deviant activity" and have "self justifying rationales... that furnish individuals with reasons that appear sound for continuing the line of activity he has begun" (Becker, 1963:38)   People within the group have their deviant activity in common, where the entire subculture is organized around the particular deviant activity.  That organized activity increases the opportunity to interact with others who have similar interests (Laws & Schwartz, 1977).  Associating with others who share one's interests has a powerful impact on legitimizing one's activity and interests to one self.
         Schur (1984:22) believes that "deviance is a matter of definition .... and is in the eye of the beholder." Therefore, as the individual behavior increases to master status (Becker, 1963), societal reactions shift from deviant individual behavior, to the individual personally being deviant, with all of the individual's behaviors being viewed as something suspect (Tannebaum, 1975).  Once the deviant status of the individual has been established, reactions from society to the type of category label is applied to the individual.  Anyone showing traits of that category is also labeled.  However, it is not the behavior that causes one to be labeled as deviant, but the responses of others who interpret and identify the behavior as deviant (Kitsuse, 1962; Plummer, 1981).  Similarly, Klapp (1987) refers to self-typing as the way in which an individual sees themselves through the eyes of others, which means we depend on the responses of others in order to see ourselves.  The reaction of others to a  behavior depends on the characteristics of the actor, the characteristics of the audience, and the situational characteristics (Michener, De Lamater, Schwartz, & Merton, 1990:536).
         Once an individual is labeled as a deviant, the decision to conceal the behavior often occurs.  For example, Edgerton (1967) found that in order to pass as normal, mental patients must appear to others in society and to themselves as competent.  Being labeled as different or "deviant" is found to lower self esteem.  It is also humiliating and frustrating to the point that the "life of the person so labeled is scarcely worth living" (Edgerton, 1967:145).  Edgerton found that his subjects "passed" by denying they had been hospitalized, passing as "normal", by getting a job, and finding a "normal" mate.
         I believe that by using the interactionist perspective in this study I will show the process that transvestites go through affects how they perceive themselves as deviant and manage their sexual preference in that context.  I want to explore how they are reacted to by others, why transvestites often go into groups where transvestism is the central theme, and how they "pass" in their day-to-day male roles.

History of the Cross Dresser
       Although Hirshchfeld was the first to put a name to cross dressing, it can actually be traced back to the beginning of recorded history.  The ancient Greeks cross dressed on their wedding night.  The bride wore a false beard and her new husband wore women's clothes when they slept together for the first time as a way of enhancing heterosexual potency (Talamini, 1982)  The Greeks also used cross dressing as a way to trap their enemies.  Solon defeated the Megarians by having his soldiers dress as women.  The Megarians were allowed to disembark from their horses because they were thought to be women and were thus able to slaughter their enemies.
       Cross dressing has long been associated with the stage.  In Japan over 400 years ago, women were banned from the stage because women were not allowed to act in public, so therefore male actors, called "oyama," were used who specialized in playing female roles ("Transvestism," 1987).   Similarly, Shakespearean plays commonly used men in female roles (Case, 1988), but the Puritans tried to censure Shakespearean plays by quoting Dueterotomy 22:5: "A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment for all that do are a abomination unto the Lord thy God."  Although they were not strong enough to abolish the plays entirely, they were able to keep females off the stage, thus making it necessary for the men to cross dress in order to play the woman's part (Tannahill, 1982; Ellis & Abarbanel, 1961).
          Cross dressing, identified as deviant behavior in our society is not universally defined as deviant.  The "hijada" or cross dressers of India have thought that because they cross dressed they were impotent at birth and some later had their genitals removed because it was not necessary to keep them.  They believe a man becomes a "hijada" because he receives the "mata's" or Gods command either in dreams or when one sits in meditation before her image (Talamini, 1982).
        Some societies accept cross gendered behavior because it is believed that some supernatural event makes people that way prior to birth or acquired through a mystical force or dream after birth.  One of the most interesting practices in connection with childbirth is know as "couvade."  When a women of the Erukala-Vandu, of Southern India, feels the first signs of labor, she tells her husband, who puts on her clothes along with a mark on his forehead similar to the one women wear on theirs. He then goes to a dimly lit room and lies down to be treated as the mother in labor.  This is to deceive the evil spirits away from the real mother.  This symbolizes the father as being the "second mother" (Talamini, 1982).

transvestites, Transsexuals, & Homosexuals
         Very often, when someone observes a transvestite, they assume he is homosexual and that wearing the clothing of the opposite sex is a statement to others that he is interested in "being the woman" in a homosexual relationship (Bogdan, 1974; Informal discussions with students).  Most homosexuals, however, do not dress as women.  Feinbloom (1978) states that few individuals of homosexual identity wear women's clothing and as Newton (1979:3) points out, most homosexuals never "do drag," never perform at "drag balls", and actually prefer masculine men.  Homosexuals who do dress in "drag" are known as "drag queens" and impersonate women for shows or prostitution (Newton, 1979).
          Another often misunderstood concept is that the transvestite is interested in surgically changing their sex and becoming a transsexual.  Feinbloom (1978:23) states that transsexuals are very different from transvestites, referring to both pre and post operative individuals who feel that their biological sex, male or female, is incongruent with their gender identity, masculine or feminine.  Often times they feel "locked inside" the body of the opposite sex (Bogdan, 1974; Questionnaire Lucy, 1992).
          A transvestite, on the other hand is different from either a transsexual or homosexual according to Prince (1967), yet Woodhouse (1989) realized that transvestites do not "fit into neat and tidy compartments" and that there is no " transvestite type."  Most have their first experience of cross dressing occur prior to age 10 (Bullough, Bullough, & Smith, 1983), and start off by wearing their mother's or sister's clothing (Prince , 1967). The majority of men who claim to be transvestites are rated as above average in intelligence and careers (Prince, 1967; Reinisch, 1990), with most being in professional occupations, such as managers, scientists, and engineers (Brierley, 1979; Bullough, et al, 1983).  Brierley suggests that transvestites take on masculine professions on one hand that enables them to "slip" into their feminine role, rather than undertake occupations typical of women, such as beautician and flower arranger (Whitam & Mathy, 1986).
        Almost all cross dressers adopt female names  .  Often times the names vary according to social class, age, and location of the man (Brierley, 1979).  Sometimes their male names are feminized, such as Ken might become Kay or Jim might become Jan.  Brierley (1979:32) states "there is little doubt that the transvestite choice of name aims to promote an image of extreme femininity - more royal than the queen!"
         The desire to quit cross dressing is often times very intense.  Associated with cross dressing behavior is many years of quilt, pain, rejection, and loneliness.  Often times during his life, a cross dresser will get rid of all of his clothing and female items, telling himself he will never do it again (Prince, 1967).  No matter how much money he has invested in his "wardrobe", he will "purge" by getting rid of it all, only to buy it all back again when the need to cross dress becomes too profound.
        Doctor (1988:189) states that "intense frustration upon cessation of cross dressing, or in response to the blockage of cross dressing, has been long recognized."  Although, Doctor did not ask the cross dressers how it feels to stop, he did ask their wives who report that the men become irritable, moody, unhappy, angry, and tense when they try to stop.
         As a coping mechanism, and a way of learning more about transvestism, an individual might decide to contact a transvestite organization.  Talamini (1982:38) states that transvestite organizations "promote adaptation to stigma and exist primarily to furnish activities for members" while "propelling them into some sort of public outspokenness, allowing them to divulge a heretofore hidden secret to a group of like-minded people" (Woodhouse, 1989:37).  This supports Sagarin (1969:21) who believes that people will join, support, and form groups because: "deviants always seeks to escape his stigma, but he does so by seeking either (1) to conform to the norms of society, or (2) to change those norms to include acceptance of his own behavior."
        Someone interested in cross dressing can find out about groups in various ways.  Through publications such as Tapestry or En Femme, or through clothing boutiques that cater to larger sizes, which often times is a signal to cross dressers that they are catered to and welcomed  and through an "underground" that seems to exist for all "deviant" groups (Informal discussion with Arizona police quite a few years ago).
        Talamini (1982) suggests that the "coming out" process is somewhat necessary for the transvestite to receive the support he needs to live his life.  The individual goes from isolation and concealment to a place where he is able to find role models and coaches who are able to advise him in all aspects of being a transvestite.

Wives or Significant Others
         The majority of "heterosexual" transvestites state they are married, or have been and are now divorced, and are parents (Prince, 1967; Brierley, 1979; Doctor, 1988).  Unfortunately, many of the wives of transvestites knew little about transvestism prior to learning that their husbands were interested in cross dressing (Doctor, 1988).  According to Talamini (1982), "the transvestite searches for an understanding woman who will encourage him, or at least accept his hobby," yet most wives did not know that their husbands were interested in cross dressing prior to marriage.  Often, the wife finds out accidentally sometime  into the marriage and as a result has a difficult time adjusting to the cross dressing behavior (Talamini, 1982; Brown & Collier, 1989; Woodhouse, 1989).
          Initially, wives believed their husbands were "gay", "peculiar", "had a harmless compulsion", or a "biological problem" (Doctor, 1988:170) and list transvestism as a significant problem in most of their relationships.  This results in overwhelmingly low self esteem in the wife, (Brown & Collier, 1989) many fears (Woodhouse, 1989), and/or considering herself "lucky that a man finds her attractive" regardless of his problems (Feinbloom, 1976:107).  Some wives believe their knowledge about their husbands cross dressing was a "secret" shared between them, that kept their mate from infidelity, while they denied and sacrificed their personal sense of self worth to avoid the possibility of separation or divorce (Brown & Collier, 1989).
          They worry about others finding out, and possible harm to the children.  This is very similar to wives who find out their husbands are bisexual (Auerback & Moser, 1987).  In order to keep the marriage intact some women are "acceptors" who participate in some cross dressing activities and others are "rejectors" who looked at the behavior with disdain and therefore criticized the cross dresser (Brown & Collier, 1989).  Yet, ultimately they learn that transvestism is a major part of their mates personality and "to get their sexual needs met, .... cross dressing is frequently necessry to enable their mates to function" (Brown & Collier, 1989:81), even though many believe that cross dressing has a damaging effect on their sex life.  Doctor states: "It is likely that the husband has come to prefer his erotic cross dressing to the marital sexual relationship.  Masturbation while cross dressed becomes  the favored sexual technique, and often, the almost exclusive sexual outlet" (Doctor, 1988:176).
          Doctor states that no matter how supportive she is, she is often turned off by the cross dressing and will demand that it not take place in bed (Doctor, 1988).  This is what Doctor (1988:185) calls the "isolation game", where there is a great deal of denial, an extensive amount of lying, and deception on the part of the husband, no intimacy, and both partners withdraw from the relationship.  Coping with their mates primping, working with makeup, and the amount of time spent in front of the mirror has been reported as being both very frustrating and difficult.   Many saw their mates as "self centered, insensitive and unable to compromise" (Brown & Collier, 1989:82).
         The most important source of information about cross dressing, directed at wives comes from books, magazines, and the literature of various organizations.  Unfortunately, most literature written for wives is by transvestites. Prince's (1967) book, The transvestite and His Wife, most commonly referred to wives of transvestites by their husbands, is a guide for the spouse of a transvestite on how to be the "perfect wife" for a cross dresser.   Prince (1967:39) believes it is important for wives to support their husbands, to not "let ignorance, intolerance, and selfishness" come between them otherwise, "she will loose."   Prince uses fear by suggesting to wives that it is impossible to get a transvestite to stop cross dressing. To try means to only "drive it underground".  Prince (1967:36) continues throughout the book to say things like "since you married this man and because you love him, you could hardly wish him to carry a burden of unhappiness, frustration, and guilt around with him the rest of this life.  You would want to relieve him of those burdens, keep him happy and healthy".  Prince (1967:53) also tells wives to "check your own emotional inventory to see whether or not your lack of understanding of this problems is not some measure due to your own load of emotional problems," and even goes so far as to put wives on an A-F grading scale.

Sexuality
        As previously stated, many researchers suggest that transvestites are heterosexual (Raynor, 1966; Prince, 1967; Doctor, 1988; Reinisch, 1990), however, Benjamin (Blanchard, 1989:321) believes that cross dressers are actually heterosexual only as long as they are in their male role, but often times respond homosexually when they are cross dressed.
         Numerous transvestites deny that cross dressing has anything to do with sexual feelings.  In fact, they state that they cross dress mainly because of the desire to "be like a women."  Yet, often times, men are ashamed to acknowledge any erotic or sexual feelings while cross dressing (Doctor, 1988:190).  To determine whether transvestites actually do have sexual feelings, Blanchard at al (1986) used penile blood volume, as the dependent variable, to determine if erotic response to cross dressing fantasies could be detected in heterosexual cross dressers who denied erotic feelings.  Results suggest that they do in fact become aroused and there is a discrepancy between self reports and physical response.
       Many accounts of males who cross dress, either in anticipation of sex change surgery or just to live full time as a woman do in fact, have sex with men (Kando, T. 1973; Bogdan,  1974; Fournet, L. M., Forsyth, C. J., & Schramm, C. T., 1988; Garber, M. 1992).  However, they justify it as not a homosexual act, since they are "a woman" rather than a man.

Studying Transvestism
       Surprisingly little research has actually been done in the area of transvestism alone.  Typically, any discussion of transvestism in the literature is grouped together with transsexualism, and homosexuality (Kando, 1973; Bogdan, 1974; Sagarin, 1965; Feinbloom, 1976; Koranyi, 1980; Whitam & Mathy, 1986; Doctor, 1988).  Often times it is discussed in the psychological or medical literature, within the realm of a disease that must be diagnosed and cured in some way (Green, 1987).
         Virginia "Charles" Prince (1967) has written at least three books, numerous articles, and is often cited within scholarly literature.  Although "her" views are by no means objective and research methods quite questionable, "she" does state four important reasons that are not discussed in the literature about why someone would cross dress.  They are:
1)  Men are only able to show "goodness" and "virtue" while dressed in female clothing
2)  Male clothing is rigidly constructed while female clothing is not
3)  Relief from the requirements of masculinity
4)  Relief from having to live up to male images.
     Other researchers (Benjamin, 1966; Brierley, 1979; Stoller, 1985; Master, Johnson, & Kolodny, 1986; Doctor, 1988) have done work from a psychological perspective that   classifies transvestites as a "gender identity disorders."   Even though all cross dressing behavior refers to wearing the clothing of the opposite sex, some tend to categorize (Benjamin, 1966; Doctor, 1988) and define (Whitam, 1986) transvestism with many variations and stages (Benjamin, 1966; Feinbloom, 1976; Doctor, 1988).  The distinction used by almost all researchers is between heterosexual and homosexual transvestites, where there is a somewhat "invisible line" that has been drawn between the sexual preferences of cross dressers.  Similarly, there are different approaches to studying transvestism between disciplines, where most previous research on the subject of transvestism can be separated into three distinct groups; Biological/Medical, Psychological, Sociological.  However, for this project I will add a fourth group, Feminist.

 Biological/Medical
        The biological/medical approach to transvestism assumes that there is a hereditary predisposition to cross dressing.  This can be genetic chromosomal anomalies, congenital maldevelopment, or some kind of postnatal imbalance (Ellis & Abarbanel, 1961; Doctor, 1988).  There is little evidence to support this idea, which seems problematic since it infers that a transvestite instinctively wears the clothes of the opposite sex.
       The transvestic behavior is often times brought out into the open when there is conflict between with the cross dresser's parents, spouse, or the law over their desire to cross dress.  With little knowledge about transvestism, the individual is often referred to a therapist (Reinisch & Beasley, 1990), indicating to them they are flawed and need to be fixed .
         The current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III-R) (American Psychiatric Association, 1987: 288), which is used by health care workers to diagnose "illness," places transvestism under the section entitled "Sexual Disorders," in between "Sadism" and "Voyeurism."  The diagnosis criteria is:

" A. Over a period of at least six months, in a heterosexual male, recurrent intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies involving cross-dressing.
B. The person has acted on these urges, or is markedly distressed by them.
C. Does not meet the criteria for Gender Identity Disorder of Adolescence or Adulthood, Non transsexual Type, or Transsexualism"

They add that while cross dressed, the individual usually masturbates and imagines other males being attracted to him as a woman while in feminine clothes.  The APA states that the diagnosis should be changed to "Gender Identity Disorder of Adolescence or Adulthood, Non transsexual" type, if the sexual arousal to the clothing disappears, yet the cross dressing continues.  Otherwise the label of "Transvestic Fetishism" is attached since the definition of fetishism is the "repeated, preferred, or exclusive method of achieving sexual excitement via the use of non-living objects or part objects" (American Psychiatric Association, 1989).
         The Treatment of Psychiatric Disorders states that there is no single treatment that is effective in treating the disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 1989:637), yet treatment is still tried in many cases  (Tollison & Adams, 1979: APA, 1989).  Treatments include biologic, psycho dynamic, and behavior therapies, that take a very long time, often regress and fragment the personality and are usually unsuccessful (Kando, 1973; APA, 1989), which supports Prince's (1967) belief that treatment is a waste of time and money.

Psychological
          Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, believed that everything that happens in a child's life affects and  predicts their future as adults.  Nothing happens by chance, and childhood is actually a very traumatic time, during which any deviation from the "norm" can cause problems for the individual later on in life.
        Some researchers have worked on how to predict future atypical adult sexual orientation in children (Whitam, 1977; Whitam, 1980; Green, 1987).  Data for the early cross gender behavior of children comes from 4 main types of research: longitudinal, retrospective, observational, and reports of parents (Whitam & Mathy, 1986).  Usually parents become concerned when their male child show's what they would consider "sissy" behavior. The parents become worried that the child will grow up to be homosexual so they look for a "cure" to prevent this from happening.  Whitam & Mathy (1986:33) state:
"Playing with girl's toys, cross dressing, preference for girls' games and activities, preference for the company of adults of the opposite sex, and being regarded as a sissy by others are strong indicator of later atypical sexual orientation."
         Green (1987) studied 66 prepubertal "feminine boys" who showed signs of cross gender behavior and compared them with a group of 56 boys who matched them in all areas except they were considered "masculine boys."   The greatest difference between the two groups was the amount of time spent cross dressing.  Feminine boys did not want to do "rough" and "tumble"  games, wanted to be girls, were interested in their mothers clothing, and wanted to play with dolls.  Green attributes this behavior to "feminine boys" having spent less time with fathers, especially prior to the 5th birthday, and as a lack of parental intervention early enough to stop the behavior.  Most parents originally thought cross dressing behavior was cute or funny and considered it to be a passing phase.  Green believes that by ignoring the behavior the children thought it was a positive reaction to cross dressing and believed that "without parental interruption they (the children) would tend to consider the parental response as somewhat accepting" (Green, 1987:65).  If the parent had at least attempted to divert the child to something else or just forbid the child to cross dress it would have been considered a negative reaction that would suppress it.  Green indicates that therapy at an early age can somehow "cure" the cross gender urges.

Sociological
        Some researchers (Sagarin, 1969; Kando, 1973; Bogdan, 1974; Feinbloom, 1977; Newton, 1979; King, 1987; Talamini, 1982; Bullough, 1991) have studied transvestism from a sociological approach, one that does not look for something  "wrong" within the individual either biologically or psychologically.  Unfortunately, many studies are quite old and some have serious flaws.
        Sagarin (1969) included transvestites among other groups of individuals whom he believed were deviant, such as Alcoholic Anonymous members, gamblers, and dwarfs.  His data consisted of two transvestite journals, minutes to meetings (it is unclear whose meetings), police reports, and someone else's master's thesis.  He had no direct contact with transvestites as far as I can tell, yet based on his data, Sagarin stated that previous estimates on the incidence of transvestism was "probably fifty or one hundred times too high" (Sagarin, 1969:113).  He described the transvestite as someone who "shows scorn for homosexuals," as a way of affirming his heterosexuality, and stated there are no formal organizations for transvestites, only journals, because men who cross dress will not "form organizations or fight for the right to dress" (Sagarin, 1969:113). Unfortunately, Sagarin contradicts himself in many places, leaving his work inaccurate, and incomplete.
        Kando (1973) was interested in how transvestites who eventually changed their sex scored on certain tests in comparison to males and females who were not transvestites.  He found that transvestites scored much more feminine on masculine/feminine scale, attitudes towards gender norms, and role strain.  This suggests that while women do not actually accept traditional stereotypes of femininity, i.e. the statements "Women have a greater desire to have children than men" and Ultimately, a woman should submit to her husband's decisions", transvestites/transsexuals do.  In fact, they seem to become hyperfeminine.
        Bogdan's (1974) book is just one more case history, that gives some insight into the life of one transvestite, Jane Fry, by letting "her" speak about "herself" and "her" experiences.  The book relates Jane's unhappy life giving the impression that all the major conflicts in Jane's life are a result of "her" unacquired desire to be a woman.  Jane even goes so far as to get married, impregnate "her" wife, then flips out, and escapes by going into the hospital, claiming jealousy over not being able to have a baby.  Bogdan buys into this and tries to explain how mental hospitals misjudge "deviants", while stating "we can understand sexism.... in it's grossest form" thanks to Jane's story (Bogdan, 1974:223). I find Bogdan's conclusions very problematic and see that once again, coming from a white male perspective, the discussion is focused on Jane, and "her" escape mechanisms, rather than the desertion of the wife and baby when Jane could not handle his responsibilities.
          Feinbloom (1976) felt there was no information for the "lay" reader on the subject of transvestism that wasn't medically or psychologically grounded.  In the 70's, she became interested and started attending group meetings to investigate "the sociology of everyday life" of the cross dresser (Feinbloom, 1976:5), thus resulting in a interesting journalistic account of a transvestite and transsexual community.  An area of interest, the wives of transvestites was mentioned briefly, yet her conclusions about their participation rests in Feinbloom's belief that the wives have low self concept of themselves and the need for a "girl friend."
        To find out if transvestism is a result of an absent father and the lack of interest in typical male activities as a child as some literature suggests, Bullough, Bullough, & Smith (1983) studied 65 transvestites and compared them to transsexuals, gay men, and a control group.  Finding suggest that an absent father was no more common for the transvestite group than the others, which contradicts Green's (1987) study, and that both the transvestite group and the control group felt sports were very important as children.   The researchers concluded that transvestites learned quite early how to compensate for their cross dressing behavior by playing the masculine role well enough to avoid questions by others.  This compensation follows into their adult lives by affording them the "security of success in the male world," but the ability to escape into a feminine persona (Bullough et al, 1983:255).
            Fournet, Forsyth, & Schramm (1988) investigated the social processes to see how an individual manages his "deviant" identity.  The researchers found that homosexual transvestites, heterosexual transvestites, and non-cross-dressing homosexuals, "attempt to compartmentalize" their behavior, thus avoiding contact with other groups.  This permits each group to normalize themselves by denying their own stigma while disassociating themselves from a "negative reference group" (Fournet et al, 1988:181) whom the public has been conditioned to stereotype negatively.  Accounts, which are excuses and justifications about the behavior in question, protects self esteem and puts each group into a majority whose "values, abilities, or performances" are considered superior (Fournet et al, 1988:181).   The need to categorize oneself is interesting, although King (1981) believes it is a relatively new concept.  It wasn't until the late 1950's that Prince separated the definition of transvestite from both those of the homosexual and transsexual.

Feminist
         Unfortunately very few researchers have studied transvestism from a feminist approach. Although the book, Feminism and Theatre, by Case (1988) is not directly about transvestism, it is certainly applicable to my research and therefore deserves to be mentioned.  Case maintains that while men have had a public life available to them throughout history, women have traditionally been relegated to a private, oppressed, and suppressed life.  Men played the female role in plays, which allowed a fictional female to be invented and represented to society as the "normal women."  Case (1988:6) states that there are two types of female images that were portrayed; "positive roles, which depict women as independent, intelligent and even heroic; and misogymistic roles commonly identified as the Bitch, the Witch, the Vamp and the Virgin/Goddess."   She questions how men were able to portray women on the stage and states:

"Besides wearing the female costume and female mask, he might have indicated gender through gesture, movement and intonation...however it is important to remember that the notion of the female is derived from the male point of view, which remained alien to the female experience and reflected the perspective of the gendered opposite" (Case, 1988:11).

Ideologies such as the "battle of the sexes," uncontrollable sexuality, and women's ability to start wars, are seen time and time again as things women are capable and interested in doing.  It is no wonder that men think they know what "true womanhood" is about.
         Woodhouse (1989) states that "transvestism is a fantasy world, a means of becoming another sort of person temporarily while retaining one's own identity" (Woodhouse, 1989:52).  A transvestite believes in very rigid gender roles, where the only way he can show any feminine qualities is to be dressed in female clothing.  This fantasy permits some men to live two separate lives, and enable them to do some things in their female role that they would never do in their male role.  However, "the transvestite simply bends the rules to his own satisfaction, periodically 'slumming it'(by playing the women), but never relinquishing his claim to masculinity" (Woodhouse, 1989:88).
      Woodhouse takes a serious look at the wives of transvestites, from a feminist perspective, looking not from their husbands point of view, but realizing the importance of getting directly to the wives and letting them speak for themselves.  She has found that wives of transvestites are a very invisible group, often afraid or uncomfortable to attend transvestite functions, while "overshadowed by the 'other women in their men's lives" (Woodhouse, 1989:89).  The wives are often isolated, not able to tell anyone else about their situation, and many times believe that they are to blame for their husbands desire to cross dress. One women (and I would guess many others that were not interviewed) was so depressed and stressed she ended up in a psychiatric hospital to treat her problem, rather than the problem that was inflicted on her by her husband. Due to the economic situations women have traditionally been in, where they are dependent on their husbands support, Woodhouse suggests that adjustment to their husbands cross dressing is often times found to be their only solution.
       Finally, the most current writings on transvestism from a feminist perspective is Vested Interests: Cross Dressing & Cultural Anxiety (Garber, 1992).  Grabber gives an in-depth excellent exploration of many aspects of transvestism.  She looks at costume, fashion, the arts, medical discourses, movies, and much more.  Still, Garber concludes that even though transvestites take on female names, wear female clothing, and act as they think women act, "it is clearly not female subjectivity, it is a man's idea of what a women is; it is male subjectivity in drag" (Garber, 1992:96).

Hypothesis
    As I have stated the goal of this project is to gain information regarding the construction of sex, gender, and sexuality of self described male transvestites.  I hope to learn to what degree the subjects' conception of traditional male roles influence their desire to cross dress and to establish what they feel are negative qualities of one gender and positive of the other.  I hope also to learn how they manage their dual gender identities on a full time basis.   I will explore these objectives by examining the following relationships.

First, given the rigidity of the self-perceived sex role stereotypes acquired in males' upbringing, I expect they will have harder time blending those sex roles.  Because of this many will use cross dressing as a way to show the more feminine traits by cross dressing rather than add feminine qualities to their masculine identity.

Second, the earlier that a male starts cross dressing, the more likely the formation of his "deviant" identity goes through more stages, as outlined by previous researchers in other studies.

Third, after years of cross dressing within the privacy of their own home, the transvestite will venture towards a transvestite organization which provides a way of lessening the stigma attached to being a transvestite.

Forth, once a transvestite is established within a social organization and is able to be around other transvestites, he learns the role and vocabularies associated with his cross dressing behavior.

Fifth, upon growing up, men learn scripts that tell them heterosexuality is the "norm" and anything else is unacceptable.  Therefore, transvestites try to conform to those ideas, but find them problematic. Similarly, they learn new scripts upon associating with other transvestites.

Sixth, transvestites go through similar steps as they take on a deviant identity, as has been described by others researchers (Becker, 1963; Adler & Adler, 1983; Levi, 1989; Hong & Duff, 1989).

       One of the goals of this project is to document how transvestites come to understand themselves, look at their biography, and understand how they present themselves to others while maintaining a perceived "deviant" identity.  Goffman (R & W, 19:105) states: "an important aspect of every career is the view the person constructs when he looks backward over his progress."   In order to let my subjects look backward and obtain the information about their lives, it was necessary for me to get directly to the source of this information, the transvestites themselves.  The data collection was accomplished this in three ways: 1) questionnaire 2) interviews 3) computer bulletin boards.  I will first give a brief description of each source of data.
         Although it is impossible to foresee all possible problems that can arise while working with subjects, I feel that it is necessary to describe one that did occur.  Prior to doing this project, most of the transvestites I came in contact with seemed to be quite experienced at telling their stories.  However, I could not have anticipated how traumatic it can be for the person who has never "come out" to anyone.  I met with a subject, who was coming into town for work, in a restaurant in Santa Barbara.  Equipped with a recorder and notebook, I listened as the man told me about his life, how he needed to keep transvestism hidden from everyone around him including his wife, and the stress it was causing him.  He was very tearful and told me he was suicidal.  Although, much of the literature states that researchers should be unbiased and uninvolved with their subjects, I felt I needed to intervene.  I believed that it was unethical for me to have just thanked him for his help and leave knowing how much stress he was in.  I referred him to both a counselor who dealt in gender issues in his area and also to a support group for transvestites.  I believed that on one hand he needed immediate help in dealing with his suicidal feelings as a result of isolation and anxiety about his transvestism, and he needed the opportunity to learn that some transvestites do manage their lives quite well and who could offer him the support he needed during this transition  .  He contacted me later, by letters, to thank me, tell me he had acted on my suggestions, and was doing much better.

The Questionnaire Data
         During the Summer, 1991, I wrote a letter to 102 organizations advertised in the The TV-TS Tapestry, a journal for people who are interested in cross dressing and transsexualism.  The organizations in the journal are listed by state, with the name, address, and the other relevant information about the organization. In my letter I stated who I was, where I was from, my interest in doing work on transvestism, and asked the organization to place an ad in their newsletters asking for people willing to answer a questionnaire to contact me (See Appendix 1).  Of the 102 letters, some came back unable to be delivered by the postal service (4), others responded but said they had no newsletter (3), they were only a store front (1), out of existence (1), or were for TS only (1).  From the remaining I received correspondences and requests for a questionnaire from 28 organizations.
       Once the organization had placed my ad asking for respondents into their newsletter, the willing subject would write to me asking for a questionnaire.  I would give that subject a number at that point, in order to ensure confidentiality for their responses and send out a questionnaire, with a cover letter, and a consent form (See Appendix 2).  Upon receiving the completed questionnaire, I checked it in adding the subjects number to all parts of the questionnaire, noting how long it took to receive it back, and added the demographic information of all who replied into a data base for analysis.
 
The Interview Data
       This was not the major focus of my research project, but some interviews were done in order to get into a little more detail than the questionnaire provided.  Within the questionnaire, the subjects were asked if they would be willing to be interviewed by phone and asked for their phone numbers and best times to call.  There was no real method for how I chose who I would call.  However, one thing I looked at was how much detail they went into on their questionnaire, thinking that the more detail they went into, the more open they might be on the phone.  I also chose depending on the subjects availability and the part of the country they were in, which would fit best into my time schedule and theirs.  All in all, there were 9 phone interviews and one face to face interview.
        All the subjects that I interviewed were quite willing to open up and "tell their story."  There was no guidelines that I followed during an interview.  I would ask questions and then asked new ones depending on the interview itself.

The Computer Bulletin Boards
        Although there a many computer bulletin boards geared towards transvestites, I put a questionnaire on only one.  I was not sure how it would work as a way to collect more demographic information, but thought I would try anyway in order to increase my sample size.
        The bulletin board I accessed was call Fem Net, is listed as "a BBS supporting TV's, TS's, TG's, their significant others, and those interested in the gendered lifestyles and transgendered persons.  Though not a sexually oriented board, there are no bounds on the nature of the subjects discussed here..." (Fem Net, 5/92).  I placed a copy of the demographic part of the questionnaire in an ad and asked people to respond either on the BBS, by Prodigy (another bulletin board), or by sending their answers to the University address.  Although the response was not overwhelming, I did get some by way of both bulletin boards and see computer bulletin boards as a feasible way of obtaining data in the future.

The Data
         Although data was collected using three different methods, all three have some inadequacies (Jenness, 1987).   It must be noted that the subjects in this sample do not represent all transvestites.   The subjects that responded to my ads are ones who are not totally isolated from other transvestites.  Although they are "out of the closet" to quite varied degrees, they are not completely secluded.  They do know that they are not the only ones, they have some sense of group cohesiveness, even if it is just receiving a newsletter or buying a journal like Tapestry.  This does not however represent the many people who did not answer my ads from other races, and socio-economic class, who are possibly very isolated, who manage their transvestite identity in a much more secluded way, and who we know nothing about.  But who are definitely out there.
 
Subjects
         To date, 6/30/92, I have received requests from 156 people requesting a survey, with completed questionnaires from 122 subjects.  Subjects represented 28 organizations, with 29 subjects the most from 1 source.  Ages ranged from 20 to 74 years with most (39%) being in their 40's; 58.2% were married, 21.3% single, and 20.5% divorced/separated/widowed; 68.03% claimed to have children who ranged from ages .5 to 43 years old. The majority 92.6% were white; 74.6% claimed to be heterosexual, .8% homosexual, 18.03% bisexual, and 6.6% were either asexual, transsexual, not sure, or did not answer.  Forty percent state that they are/were Christian, 29.5% are/were Catholic, 9.8% are/were Jewish, and 20.5% state they have either no religion or do not answer the question.  Sixty-three percent have completed college or higher, with only 15.6% just completing high school or less.   Sixty-three percent of the subjects hold professional jobs such as engineers, scientists, and public health administrators, while 28.7% held non professional jobs such as bookkeepers and mechanics, and 8.2% were unemployed or students. The mean salary for subjects is ??3 with a median of ??.  Sixty-nine percent claimed to have told their wives or girlfriends of their cross dressing, of those 20.5% react favorably, 34.4% not favorably, 8.2% have some reservations about the subject, and 36.9% did not answer the question.

The Study
        Since the purpose of this study is to investigate male transvestites in order to understand what parts of masculinity they reject and how they manage cross dressing with their day to day male roles, the population used for this study must have some criteria.  The men who actually answered my advertisement for transvestites is a very limited group of men, yet, within this group there is a vast range of characteristics.  Some never plan on changing their sex, while others can't wait to be able to afford sex reassignment surgery, and other's cross dress in order to let loose "the woman inside", while others cross dress for sexual purposes only.
        For the purpose of this study it is unrealistic to analyze all 122 subjects.  Therefore, the sample to be analyzed must fit some required conditions for inclusion in the analysis part of this study (All are included in the demographic part). The reason for this selection process is to look at men who are as close to living traditional masculine lifestyles as possible in order to see how they manage their dual identities.  If an individual states he is homosexual or bisexuality, then he has already accepted and is managing a different identity for himself.  My desire is to pick a subgroup of men who fit the profile within this group.  Subjects will be included who state in the demographic section of the questionnaire that they are:
1.   heterosexual
2.   married
Finally, due to lack of time and the amount of data received, if the questionnaire was answered by computer or typewriter and therefore able to be computer scanned or else had been previously transcribed were included also.  The final result is 33 completed questionnaires used for this part of the analysis.

Sample and Sample Characteristics
         To begin the demographics section of this questionnaire, the first question asked the respondents  where they heard about this project.  The 122 subjects whose answers are represented in this section, represent 28 different sources as shown in Table 1 below.  The majority of respondents stated they heard about the project from Tapestry, a magazine for cross dressers, that most people get from adult bookstores or other anonymous sources.
          Six respondents originated from a computer bulletin board called Fem Net.  This source was only used for a very short time, about a week, but I believe that if I had pursued it or other bulletin boards had been tried, the responses would also have been quite high.  Both Tapestry and Fem Net insure anonymity for the subjects.  Unless they wanted to give their names and home addresses (many did) they didn't have to.  This could possibly substantiate the fact that most respondents found out about this project through anonymous sources and that transvestism is a "hidden phenomenon."
     The second largest group of respondents belong to various groups or sororities that are under the "mother" group of Tri Ess,"The Society for the Second Self".  Typically, men who belong to Tri Ess groups have found out they are not alone by seeing members of Tri Ess on television specials or seeing it advertised.  These men have "come out" to some degree and are learning to live quite active lives as male cross dressers.

Table 1: Sources of Respondents
 

Source and State Club	Number of Respondents
Alpha Chapter-CA	1
Alpha Zeta-AZ	1
Androgyny-CA	1
CDI-PA	3
Central Illinois Gender Association-IL	2
Chi Chapter-IL	4
Chi Delta Mu-NY	2
Connecticut Outreach Society-CT	5
Crossdresser Heterosexual Intersocial Club-CA	8
Jennifer & Friends-NV	1
Kappa Beta-NC	1
NY Gender Alliance-NY	1
Outreach Institute	1
Phi Epsilon Mu-FL	6
Phoenix Rising-CA	2
Phoenix Transgender-NC	2
Pink Flamingos-MA	2
Renaissance Education Association-PA	12
Serenity-Fl	3
Sigma Chi-CA	1
Tau Sigma Beta-Fl	1
The Butterfly-AZ	2
Tiffany Club-MA	1
Transgenderists Independence Club-NY	2
ETVC Information	8
Tapestry Magazine	29
Femme Mirror Magazine	7
Fem Net Computer BB	6
Unknown	7

 

    The respondents shown also represent 29 different states as shown in Graph 1.    Most (21%) of the respondents are from California and the next highest (14.8%) are from New York.  Although this was not a direct question on the questionnaire, it is interesting to note that this sample is more diverse than some of the other studies previously discussed (Feinbloom, 1976; Doctor, 1988; Brown & Collier, 1989).

Graph 1

Age
   As shown in Graph 2, the ages of the subjects in this sample are between 20-74 years old.  The average age is 45.5 years.  This is similar to the subjects in other studies (Prince, 1967; Feinbloom, 1976; Talamini, 1982).

Graph 2: Age of Respondents
 

Religion and Race
     Although other studies have been done on transvestism, none have addressed the subject of race.  For instance, Talamini (1982) mentions that his subjects were all Caucasian, yet never mentions why there are no other races represented.  Similar to Talamini's study and as shown in Graph 3 the majority of subjects in this sample are 93% white, with 40.2% stating they are Christian, 29.5% Catholic, 14.8% consider themselves not religious, and 9.8% Jewish.
 
Graph 3: Religious Preference of Respondents
 

Education, Occupation, and Income
    Most characteristics of the transvestites in this sample are similar to previous studies done on transvestism, with  few exceptions as can be seen in Graph 4.   In Brierley's (1979) study, he states that 13% of his subjects had high school degrees and 37% had college degrees.  The results for this study are similar, 12.30% and 38.52% respectively.  However, data stated in this way does not give the reader the complete picture about the high socioeconomic status of most transvestites.  In this study all subjects except 15.57% had more than a high school education and 25% state that they have either a MA or a Ph.D.  Similarly, 63.11% of the subjects in this sample have what I will call professional occupations such as engineers, and scientists.  This corresponds to other researchers (Prince, 1967; Brierley, 1979; Whitam & Mathy, 1986) who state that cross dressers take on traditional male jobs.  The higher education and occupational choices the men in this sample have, could possibly account for the fact that the average income for them is around $40,000 a year, with 29% making over $61,000 a year.  Is it a coincidence that men who choose to answer this questionnaire have good incomes?  Or is it that their good incomes allows them to live the dual lifestyle of cross dressing.  Being a transvestite is not an inexpensive "hobby."  Not only must a man buy his male clothing, he also must buy his female clothing.  This includes breast prosthesis, which can cost an average of $200.00 a pair, wigs, makeup, hip padding, and as many clothes as he desires.  If one takes into account the amount of time the female articles are "purged" or thrown out, or the man who is only able to cross dress when out of town on business and must leave whatever he buys in the trash prior to going home, it can run into quite a bit of money.

Graph 4: Education, Income, and Employment of Respondents
 

Family Life
     The majority (58.2%) of respondents report that they are currently married, while others (20.5%) report that they are separated or divorced as shown in Graph 5.  Some explained that cross dressing was the cause of their marital problems.   Respondents stated that they have been married from .5 - 50 years, with a mean of 17.8 years.   Most (68%)
report having children, whose ages run from newborn to 45 years old.  This is comparable to others studies previously mentioned.
    Of the respondents who are married or in a relationship, the majority (68.9%) of the wives or significant others  currently know about the cross dressing behavior.  Few (20.5%) wives respond favorably to their husbands cross dressing and many did not know their husbands cross dressed prior to getting married as shown in Graph 6.  Many (43%) of the wives either ignore the cross dressing behavior or tolerate it without any involvement at all.
 

 Graph 5: Marital Status of Respondents

  Graph 6: Wives Attitudes Towards Husbands Cross Dressing

Sexuality
    The majority (74.6%) report that they are heterosexual.  This corresponds to other studies (Prince, 1962; Doctor, 1982).  Similar to other research, only 1 (.82%) respondent stated that he was homosexual (Prince, 1962).  However, although only few (18%) claim that they are bisexual, almost half (40.2%) report having sex with someone of the same sex.  This result was significant using a Pearson test F(2, 122) = 15.3357, p = 0.000.  It is interesting to note that of those who do have sex with males, many (26.2%) of them report being dressed in female clothing at the time as can be seen in Graph 7.  This corresponds to what Benjamin (Blanchard, 1989:321) states about cross dressers being heterosexual as long as they are in their male role, but often times respond homosexually when they are in their female attire.

Graph 7: Sexual Orientation of Respondents
 

 

Questionnaire Analysis

      The second part of this analysis is based on the answers of 32 respondents.  All of them reported they were heterosexual and currently married.  The following analysis will investigate their open ended answers to see how their idea of masculinity, societal reactions, and their lifestyles are affected by their desire to cross dress.
 
Dressing Up
     Most respondents remember having had some interest in women's clothing very early in their lives.  Fifty percent recall the first experience by age 5, 31% by age 10, and 16% by age 15.  This is much higher than Prince's (1962) sample where only 55% began cross dressing prior to age 10. Only one subject stated that he began cross dressing for the first time at 42 years old.
    Often times the first cross dressing experience commenced after discovering clothing that belonged to a female who was living within the same household, such as a mother or sister.  Clothing, usually underclothes, was first noticed hanging in the bathroom or in the dirty laundry.   All respondents describe the incredible feeling they had while experimenting with female clothing for the first times.  This feeling is what lures them to cross dressing and entices then into repeating the act. "Kristen" explains:

I remember smells, and feeling both how nice the clothes felt against my skin, and how comfortable I felt wrapping up in them.  I would put on a bra and panties and any other clothes I could find and walk around the basement pretending I was outside doing something in public and having people looking at me and commenting on what a pretty girl I was. The only things which were constant during these experiences were the elation I felt during these episodes.

Similarly, "Rita" states that "she":

saw in the bathroom of my house that my mother had left some stockings up to dry, and I noticed that they looked so nice & soft looking, that I began looking at them. Then touching them & wondering why women wore them. Then after feeling how lovely they felt, I knew I had to try them on, to see how they would feel on my legs. They were the greatest feeling things (stockings), I had ever felt in my life.

     Playing "dress up" with friends and relatives or wearing something feminine and cute to a Halloween party is another way cross dressing originates. "Peggy" was excited about being a "women" for Halloween, but in order to keep up appearances...

fought the idea because I felt that was what a boy should do. Actually I was looking forward to wearing the dress. Of course I got teased but had fun anyway in my dress.
 
    Even at very young ages, some cross dressers have a strong desire to go outside dressed in women's clothing. "Corinne" wore his mothers girdle to school in the first grade and remembers the wonderful feelings derived from the experience. "Mikki Beth" began cross dressing for a very different reason.  His first experience was later than most cross dressers, at the age of 42, and began, he reported as the result of marital problems he was having with his wife.  Sexual relations were "almost non-existent" and because of the strong desire to "feel the closeness" of his wife, he began by holding her clothing next to him while masturbating.  This gradually "increased from holding one item of clothing to wearing one item, then increased to a "complete wardrobe of clothing, prosthesis and all."

 Recognizing Stigma
        Even at a very young age, cross dressers know that dressing in the clothing of the opposite sex is not acceptable behavior within this society.   Raynor (1966:71) writes about how a transvestite as a young boy will often wonder and worried if he is "queer," which they thought was something quite bad.  Even prior to being caught in the act of cross dressing, knowing what they are doing is considered "wrong" is very apparent. "Michelle" states:

the guilt, shame, and fear I felt afterwards (guilt because I heard my parents talking about "faggots" who wore women's clothes; shame because this made me a "faggot" and fear because I knew that if I were caught I would get put over my mother or father's knee and smacked with a leather belt. (Note: the belt was their usual form of punishment, and I knew from prior experiences--for stealing, lying, etc--how painful it was. When I finally was caught and punished for crossdressing dressing, it was the first time I actually didn't mind the punishment).

and  "Rita":

I would have these terrible guilt feelings about my dressing,  because I knew that (or thought) that the only persons that dressed in drag, were gay men (female impersonators) that wanted sex with other men, but I was not gay &  that I did not want to attract any men or even talk to them about my dressing, much less want "any" kind of sex with them, but  I still could "not" understand why I wanted soooo much to dress.

        If and when parents and siblings found out about the cross dressing behavior, most often they did not say much about it, as was the cases of "Megan", "Peggy" , "April", and "Rita".  "Megan's" parents wanted to take him to a therapist, but he refused, while "Peggy" parent's "made it very clear how I had hurt and disappointed them."  "Joan's" siblings "can't take it at all" and his mother accepts it as long as she does not have to see him dressed.  "Linda" believes that "if anyone in the family knew, they joined in a conspiracy of silence" and never brought it up.  "Terry's" mother collected newspaper articles about Christine Jorgannsen, a famous transsexual, and left the articles where "Terry" would be sure to find them.  But the subject of cross dressing was never actually discussed. "Kristen's" parent's did take him to therapy and even sent him to military school with the hopes of "curing" him of cross dressing.  To this day (Kristen is 36), his mother is still trying to find a "cure."   She has even called me for information on how to go about the "cure" wondering also if her son's cross dressing would affect her grandson.   "Megan" promised his parents he would stop as soon as he got a girl friend.  He did not quit, however.
           Society and family reactions to cross dressing behavior seems to just "add insult to injury."   Boys know at very young ages appropriate gender traits for males.  They also seem to know that in order to cross the gender line successfully, they must keep their cross dressing a secret from everyone else around them.  To let this secret become known to others, means punishment and stigma to the cross dresser.
 

Masculinity
     Most respondents agreed on what characteristics constitutes masculine behavior in this society.  These traits range from "the strong, rugged personality of John Wayne and Rambo, to the good provider, good husband/father/businessman category of Robert Young in Father Knows Best" ("Michelle").   "Megan" believes that at the time of birth "a stamp is placed on our forehead that we are male.  From then on our parents, peers, and society train us in masculine ways"   According the respondents in this study, masculine ways include sports, dressing in masculine clothing, being physically more muscled and heavier boned than women, making love in a masculine way by having sex with a female in a "masculine" (aggressive?) position, providing for a family, and holding a traditional "male job."  "Peggy" believes that to be masculine, one must:

be an aggressive, take charge type, strong in appearance with no weaknesses, competitive and able to win at all cost, keeping feelings within, little or no display of emotions, strong interest in contact sports, having the right answers, the provider, the defender, display no fear, show no feminine traits like sensitivity-man do not cry, be physically strong, and avoid the frilly things.  I try to conform to the above.

while "Kristen" says:

I believe that there are many social expectations/attributes that comprise "masculine" behavior.  Among these expectations/attributes are self-repression of "positive" emotions, non-nurturer (especially toward other males),  self-centeredness,  conformance, rather than individualism, cut-throat competitiveness
 
"Thalia" sees masculinity as having the same characteristics as most of the other respondents, except "she" believes that: "Our society is masculine in orientation and so it is hard to pick out what is masculine when, in a way, everything is."
        Many men in this study state that they enjoy being male and playing the male role.  However, what they hate is having to be and to act masculine at all times without being allowed to show any feminine traits.  Michelle states "her" dilemma:

I have a very dominant feminine side--my strong points include compassion for the helpless, nurturing the young, and empathy to the point of feeling others pain, and other types of "caring" emotions. While I can express these feelings as a male, I must be very careful not to seem "too caring, too nurturing, or too empathetic" or else I will draw attention to myself and subject myself to ridicule. Being a more "feminine male" is, in my current personal and professional environment, not an acceptable alternative.

"Kristen" states that:

What I dislike about society's definition is the fact that there is a definition in the first place. Our culture has a propensity toward pigeon holing everyone in it. If you do not fit in the right hole you become an outcast. I likewise reject the definition for femininity as it is applied to females. We miss so much in life by being stereotyped.

Similarly, "Marian" believes that:

Society has dictated how "men" are expected to dress, wear their hair and act more aggressive. Society's definitions are shallow.

         A few of the respondents noted that they do not like the traditional male attitudes towards women, believing that women are "2nd rate citizens."  They believe that by being a transvestite, they are more understanding of the problems woman have to deal with.  They see themselves as different then other men who do not cross dress.  "Darlene" noted that "our society is still quite male oriented in spite of the changes that have been taking place over the past 20 years or so."  "Terry" rejects the traditional "anger and violence" of masculinity, which "puts women down and belittles those who are softer in their nature."  However, none really go into detail about issues involving woman in this society.
           Considering how strongly most subjects feel about masculinity, I asked a question about how cross dressing fits in with their idea of masculinity.  I wanted to know what aspects they were rejecting and how they incorporated transvestism into their lives.  "Carol" idea fairly well summed up what most respondents stated, that "it is not a rejection of masculinity, just a fondness for femininity."   Many believe that cross dressing is just one more way to convey the feminine part of their personality, that they are not usually allowed to express.  "Susan H" replies "crossdressing and masculinity?  Like a hand in a shoe, they just don't fit."  And "Lane" says

It's not "written" that it has to fit.  When I cross-dress I give masculinity some time off and indulge in femininity.

And "Stephanie" believes that:

By integrating the masculine and feminine together. you get a multi-faceted human being.
 
    Many subjects feel that cross dressing "gives them a break from reality", somewhat like sports, sex, or drugs.  "Nancy Ann" expresses this:

The feminine side takes over, like cruise control on my car.  I enjoy the relief from stresses and demands that are strictly masculine or of the masculine world. WHAT A RELIEF!

    Although none of the literature speaks about transvestism as a compulsion or an obsession, such as smoking, biting fingernails, or overeating, the characteristics portrayed by these subjects seem to have some similarities.  This would be worth further investigation.
 
Becoming a Cross Dresser
           With the onset of so many day time talk shows, such as "Donahue", "Ophra", and "Sally", all kinds of activities that people might not think about become more available to society.  Many men stated that they found out they were not the only ones who cross dressed by watching a day time show about cross dressing.  They then have a phone number and address to call, usually of Tri Ess, where they can find out about clubs, get on mailing lists, and eventually meet other transvestites who will mentor them if needed.  Once they meet other transvestites, it becomes easier to further delve into cross dressing.
         If the transvestite started cross dressing as children, then most have spent much of their time cross dressing while completely alone, in the privacy of their own homes or hotels.   Some have told no one else about their desire to cross dress.  Yet, others have found more freedom and are able to dress in front of their wives, families, or groups.
          Actually dressing in female attire is an act that gets better with time and exposure to others.  Clothing that  might have been used sexual stimulating can emerge into a full desire to completely "be a woman."  The act of cross dressing sometimes involves a ritual that might take hours to complete.  "Linda" states:

I dress slowly and deliberately, starting with my lingerie. I prefer stockings to pantyhose, so I have an assortment of garter belts, girdles, and waist clinchers with garters. I will put on a dress or skirt and blouse and then a pair of heels. I generally put on mascara and lipstick and some jewelry - earrings, necklace, ring and bracelets. I then prepare my breakfast. Following that I often do some work on the computer, pretending that I am a secretary. I feel comfortable and relaxed, enjoying the feeling and the look of the clothing on my body.

"Samantha" reflects on how she takes hours to dress up, sometimes as long as 6.  In fact, her wife's main complaint is how long it takes to change into "Samantha" and how much times she "primps" in front of the mirror.
         Once a cross dresser has "come out" just dressing up at home is usually not enough.  It becomes important to go out in public somehow.   According to Edgerton (1967) being able to pass in public as normal and to appear to others in society and to themselves as competent is very important to someone trying to pass.  Some like to go out because it gives them a true feeling of what they believe being a woman is about. "Samantha" states:

I love all the different senses that I get that are the feelings and sensations that only a woman would have:  Doing what woman do, being treated like a woman, dressing like a woman, behaving like a woman, etc. When I go to meetings I have a lot of fun socializing with my friends.
 
    For the more adventurous, meetings and social groups are not only fun but often times educational.  A meeting is a place where a new cross dresser can go to find role models, others who have been cross dressing for quite a while, who can teach them all about make up, walking, and where to buy clothing.  For "Suzanne" the first time she went to a group she says:

I felt peculiar, in that it broke the mental image I had of myself: I had to accept that fact that I was in a room with men dressed as women. It was like being in a room with aliens, of which I was one; unaccepted by outsiders, yet unaccepting of ourselves. Very strange.

"Lane" states:

Being dressed, at a Dodger game or Home-show with hundreds of people or chatting one-on-one with a stranger while listening to a tinkling piano is soul-satisfying and sexually satisfying (which can be more subtle than the required orgasm).

      Some respondents talked about their fear of going out in public while in woman's clothing.  The fear for their safety can still keep some still in seclusion.  "Suzanne" states she is afraid to be noticed by men.  She does "not want to deal with either their desire or their disdain" over "her" cross dressing behavior.  "Peggy" addresses this by saying "it is very frustrating to be all dressed up and no place to go, but at least it is safe and I am certainly causing no harm to any one else."
           Doctor (1988:12) states that "passing is highly valued" by the transvestite and something that he really wants to do.  Ackroyd (1979:21) maintains that the transvestite's need to pass is often to prove how well he can pass as a women.  While some transvestites are able to "pass" quite well, others do not.  They seem to be quite aware of how well they do "pass" and most work on trying to blend in with society, by wearing age appropriate clothing, and taking care to put on makeup nicely that will not draw unnecessary attention to them.  "Lane" feels  that "passing feels like a validation, and an acceptance."
       Another way to learn how to "pass" is to watch real women.  Women are watched in a number of places, but mainly grocery stores, and shopping centers.  Many cross dressers such as "Suzanne" watch women in order to "mimic and copy their gestures."  The idea is to act as natural as possible, and "Samantha" states that the "reaction that you are hoping to get (while passing) is No Reaction."  She continues:

When I am Samantha, I feel like a little child visiting Disney World for the first time.  I am excited, and everything and anything I do is fresh and new to me.  When I "pass" this is kind of  like surviving my first ride through Space Mountain.  It's exhilarating and there is a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment.

"Joy" feels the same way:

It feels wonderful to pass as a woman, just to have someone think that I am a woman or to hear someone say "mam" to me is a great turn on.

         While some believe they are able to pass and actually do quite well at it, most realize that due to their build and their masculine features they cannot pass completely.  "Peggy" thinks she would only "pass at a distance or at night."  Similarly, "Linda" doesn't believe she could pass even if she "shaved off my beard."  Raynor (1966:62) states not passing is terrible and that "to be read is to be spotted as a man in woman's clothing. Next to being arrested, it's the worst thing that can happen to a TV."
          Some of the wives are also fearful of their husbands going out in public while cross dressed.  They fear that they will be mugged, arrested, and/or found out.  "Linda's wife objects to the idea of shaving off his beard for fear he will go out in public.  Other's do shave though. "Stephanie" shaves her legs, face, and armpits because she hates having hair in those places.  Others use electrolysis to take off any unwanted hair.
           What do men who are transvestites when they are cross dressed and want to be act like "true women."  Most of their emphasis seems to be put on the act of actually being dressed, the clothing that they are wearing, the finger nails they have put on, and the wig that they have chosen for the day.   At meetings cross dressers mainly socialize with each other, go out to restaurants, or to "gay" drag shows or bars where they are normally accepted with little problems.  Often times they sit a meetings, share their stories and problems and discuss gender related issues as well as who will win a football game.  "Carol" adds:

We mostly engage in conversations, exchange tips on makeup, on what to wear, and on how to "pass." Generally, the "girls" still engage mostly in male conversations such as airplanes, sports, and non- "feminine" topics. They are not effeminate in their actions . They try to "sit like a lady" and behave as women, but they are men for the most part. Being with others like ourselves is reassuring to us. I was once a-said at an RGA meeting, "Do you have a therapist?"  My reply was, "This is my therapy." My wife says I seem relaxed and comfortable when I am "Carol." I feel contented and at ease when I am fully dressed and made up as a woman.

     Many believe they are more social and less introverted while dressed as a woman and are able to do things they would not normally do in their male role.  "Betsy"  believes that:

Being with other TV's is just great, though;  we're all just "one of the girls", and the non male things we do, of course include wearing dresses, discussing feminine fashions, hair-do's, make-up, etc. At some of these meetings, the girls display their culinary prowess. Often we watch videos of such things as relevant Donahue shows and other presentations nearest and dearest to us. We're pretty much like any bunch of girls, except that we don't talk about men!!!  (At least not in the same way that real girls do....)

"Susan H." states:

I love dancing in the feminine role and I go to bars that cater to lesbians where I can, as much as I'm allowed, to be one of the girls.
 
    Some believe that they are able to touch "other women" (cross dressers) much more easily when dressed in their feminine attire.  Since many believe that society dictates that men should not touch one another, except for quick handshakes, transvestite gatherings are a good time to stray from that rigid role restriction.  Although no one suggests that anything sexual goes on at meetings, the act of touching while talking, or hugging while greeting are acceptable.  "Tina" states that she can "even dance and socialize with men in clubs when I go out."  It is quite difficult for these men to show other men affection while in their male role.
       All of the respondents stated that they knew of nothing they could do as a female that they could not do as a male, except use the ladies restroom.  It is interesting to note what aspects of being a woman cross dressers pick to play out.  Referring back to Gagnon who suggests that transvestites might divide women into two parts; "women's work" and "sex work", most cross dressers are only picking the "sex work" as the part of the women they wish to play out. They  want to talk about clothing, hair tips, how to sit, and walk, yet none of them mentioned that they would love to clean house or do carpools while being a women.  Rather they seem to want a break from masculinity and responsibility.  "Nancy Ann" feels that by cross dressing she can

put away my manhood and take a rest... and the chance to smell pretty and feel pretty and to act feminine as if it were all that I had to care about.

It would be interesting to learn if cross dressers truly believe women have no worries and are so totally carefree that they can sit around to discuss make up tips all day.  Is it that cross dressing is truly about being a women or is cross dressing being used as an escape attempt against the stress of everyday life (Cohen & Taylor, 1976)   Raynor (1966:105) states that the tensions of everyday life require safety valves, and that one of the most successful escape mechanisms is total disguise" of cross dressing.

Quitting Strategies
      Sometimes the first visit to a therapist occurred  during childhood, when parents become uncomfortable and took their child to a therapist as soon as any signs of "sissy" behavior were noticed(Green, 1987).  However, regardless of when and if they went into therapy, virtually all of the respondents believed at one time or another that something was very wrong with their cross dressing behavior.  Of the subjects in this sample, less than half (40%) however have gone into therapy as adults due to the stress that cross dressing was putting on their lives and the lives of those close to them.  Although Prince (1967) states, that therapy does not work to change the behavior of cross dressing, it is sometimes necessary in order to learn to lead somewhat "normal" existence.   For instance "Kristen" says:

Three years ago, I sought out a counselor when I got to the point where "the closet" and denial were starting to eat at me, and I was on the verge of committing suicide.
 
Terry went to a therapist because "she" believed that:

From the time I really started in the attic of my parents' house at age 11 or 12,  I was convinced that I was alone and crazy in this "interest" of mine. I really thought that I was losing my mind --- that I had two personalities. I have gone to various psychologists and psychiatrists over the last 7 years.
 
     Finding a good therapist who is knowledgeable in the area of gender identity issues is very important.  When the therapist is bad and makes the patient feel that they are bad and wrong, it can be quite damaging, but when the therapist is good, it can be quite helpful to the transvestite who must learn to manage their day to day lives while cross dressing without quilt.  Kristen explains:
 
I had about 8 or 9- 1 hour sessions together (with a therapist) that was VERY therapeutic. He helped me to realize a) that I wasn't alone in this situation (I believe his exact quote was "you guys all think that you're the only one who does this!"), b) that being a crossdresser dresser wasn't worth committing suicide over, and c) that I needed to realize that while crossdressing dressing is a statistically unusually behavior, I wasn't a freak for wanting to cross dress .

Most of the therapists "Terry" saw either had "more problems than we did," "had me listening to cheap tapes" or "were unwilling and unable" to deal with the cross dressing at all.  "She" finally found a female psychologist who helped her to:

begin to truly love myself and release some of the anger that has followed me since childhood. We are working on an adventure that is leading me out of the anger that has been a part of my childhood background. In the process, I love my female self and can project the good female characteristics even when operating as a male in my job.

When "Linda" went to therapy with his wife, where they were told crossdressing is:

not something I can quit. The therapist  did tell me to stop wearing my wife's clothing and to buy my own.

    transvestites attempt to terminate crossdressing for various reasons.  Usually due to quilt.  Sometimes, it is because they are going to be married and think that marriage and a relationship will lesson the desire.  Usually the desire becomes more intense the more they try to abstain from the behavior.  Not being able to cross dress can be quite uncomfortable for the transvestite.  "Peggy" says that he "grew a moustache to make it harder to look feminine" while "Mikki Beth" explains:

 I have repressed it while I try to sort out how it is going to fit into my life (2-1/2 years now). It is the most miserable time you can imagine. Chronic depression. Life means nothing, just a game of survival.  There is no emotion in your life. You've lost an integral part of the self. A friend calls it suicide and murder of the self, and I think he is right. I don't recommend  it to anyone.

    Purging, or the act of throwing out all of one's female clothing in order to quit crossdressing, has been attempted by almost all of the subjects in my sample.  However, purging is not something that works long term.  As "Kristen" states purging might work for a very short time, but the need to cross dress again takes over.

Purging was always a result of feeling guilty about my desire (actually it felt like a "NEED", not just a desire) to wear women's clothing, and to appear as a female. I occasionally felt like I was somehow 'sick' for wanting to cross dress .I always felt 'antsy' when I was in the middle of a purge cycle just the same as I do now when I haven't gone out in awhile. I tended to be very short-tempered during purges, and very depressed (sometimes suicidally depressed). I would delude myself into thinking that I really wasn't interested in crossdressing dressing, and that this desire was simply a) an aberration of my adolescence (hormone storms), and b) a result of being kicked out of the house and sent off to an all-male boarding school at the time that I was entering puberty. Within a few months, however, of purging I would 'fall off the wagon' (to use the AA terminology) and go and buy a slip, or a couple pairs of panties, or something ... ANYTHING.

"Darlene" states:

In my opinion, "purging" is a futile attempt to "solve" the problem. In my case I was more determined after each "purge" and could only look back and say "what a dumb thing to do and what a waste of money." It is my view that even though you might think at times that this might be abnormal, the urge and desire to return to this lifestyle can never be erased, it might be suppressed, but never removed.

"Terry" says "she" purged by burning her clothing.

I did it once in a motel by leaving my feminine things in a motel stairway in  PA. I did it again by burning them in a fit of rage. It helped for a little while, but before long, I was right back and perhaps at a new level, one or two notches up from the time before. It was stressful and filled with disgust when I purged and a resigned "coming home" when I resumed.

     Although the subjects in this study enjoy cross dressing and playing the role of a woman as they interpret that role, they have no desire to actually change their sex with sex reassignment surgery (SRS).  Of 32 married, heterosexual men in this part of the questionnaire, only 3 (.09%) stated they would possibly want the surgery sometime in the future.  The possibility most often is dependant on their family life, such as if a spouse should die and children leaving home.  For "Tina" the inability to be a man as she believes a man should be makes SRS a possibility.  She states:

I am going to try and make it in marriage although my performance as a man is very poor.

"Megan" says "she" has no active plans to have SRS, but does "plans to live full time as a woman."
     Although "Elizabeth"  has no desire to become a transsexual, she expresses this:

In my Utopia, I would like to be my gender variation in real form, as I desire. In my Utopia, I would be able to shave my body, pierce my ears, and dress as I please.   Physically, I do daydream about having breasts (along with the penis). My Utopia would be to able to have a relationship with my wife (not a male) that was lesbianic more than heterosexual, that I could be basically a male lesbian or a she-male.  The idea/desire for breasts, etc. do not have anything to do with wanting to be a female, but instead are similar to the desire to wear female clothing. To me the female body, with its curves and smoothness is beautiful.,one I wouldn't mind emulating.  I hate the male body, its roughness, squareness, hairiness, etc. It just is not a thing of beauty to me. Reality is that Utopia does it have a chance in hell in happening (haha).

    What many people do not seem to understand, is the varying degrees of transsexualism.  Similar to gender, transsexualism is also quite unstable.  One might think that to be a transsexual means that one must have SRS surgery, but does cutting off one's penis, make an individual a woman.  Or does an individual become a woman when they begin taking female hormones, using electrolysis to remove unwanted hair, take on a female name, or live full time as a woman.  "Kristen" states:

No, I don't plan on seeking reassignment surgery. I know that I am male.  There are times when I just don't like being a male. Reassignment will only change the "plumbing", and hormones and implants will only give me breasts - neither will  it change what my brain says that I am. The reality is that even after surgery: a) I would still be 6 feet tall,
b) I would still weigh over 180 pounds (even more on occasion, and even if I DO carry it well, it still is much more than 95% of most women weigh), c) I would still wear a size 12 shoe (female size), d) I would still wear a size 18 dress,  e) I would still have broader shoulders than most women, even those who are my height and I would still not be a 'woman', I would just be a male with enlarged breasts and an artificially created 'birth' canal.
 
 

Marriage and Relationships

    As stated above, few woman knew that their husbands cross dressed prior to marriage.  Some men believed or were told by others that a relationship would diminish their desire to cross dress, and that sexuality within a marriage would take away the sexual urge that sometimes corresponds with female attire.  I have not heard from anyone that the desire to cross dress ceases at all.  In fact, most times in intensifies with the stress and strain of day to day life.
    So, where do the wives fit into cross dressing and how does it affect the marriage.   Many times the wife will not accept the idea that her husband is a transvestite at all.  She either denies the behavior exists at all or will try to accept it, but "not completely come to terms with it."   "April's" wife found out about the cross dressing when "she discovered a small bag in the closet with quite a number of female garments inside.  She (the wife) suffered great emotional shock."  "Stephanie" believes that "cross dressing was the catalyst to the demise" of his first marriage.  His first wife started out supportive, but her tolerance decreased as the relationship progressed.  Often times, wives are hopeful that a good relationship is all that is necessary for cross dressing to terminate, and become very upset when it doesn't work.  "Jennifer M." states:

Both of us are in therapy to cope with this and the impact on our relationship.  She has tried to participate in outings or meeting but it is too difficult for her to see Jennifer.  She has helped me shop and has gone to 2 group gatherings, but it is still very difficult for her.

        Some wives just leave their home when their husbands cross dress, thus giving him the time and space to do what he wants, yet not having to deal with the situation by having to confront it head on.  Other wives really dislike cross dressing and what they believe it has done to their lives and marriages.  "Paula's" wife said "If I ever see him wearing a dress, I will kill him."
        Sometimes the statements given by the men about their wives reactions to cross dressing is quite confusing.  In one sentence they will state that their wives do not want to see them dressed, yet in the next they state they sleep in nightgowns and wear panties.  Or that "she does not like it, but will tolerate it for me." It is difficult to tell about the wives without doing research specifically with them rather than from their husbands.  It might be interesting to find out if woman who marry cross dressers are a certain type of person, either low on self esteem, or unable to change the situation within their homes.  This might tie back to patriarchy and the male privilege in that even though a man wants to be a woman part time, he still runs the home and leaves the wife powerless to demand any changes.
        Although most of the wives just tolerate their husbands cross dressing, a few actually enjoy it (at least according to their husbands they do).  "Lucy" and "her" wife were both confused and frustrated about cross dressing until they joined Tri Ess and "let Lucy out of the closet."  Now "Lucy" believes things are much better.

We have an arrangement which allows me to be Lucy all the time every other week.  As much as she can, Carol helps me shop, advises me on make up, and takes pictures of me dressed.

It is important to note, that "Lucy's" wife is wheel chair bound and totally dependent on her spouse.  "Carol's" wife also seems to enjoy cross dressing, yet "Carol" states that she respects her wife's wishes and is "careful not to steal her husband from her."
        Some men, like "Diana" have given up trying to have a relationship.  Due to the existence of "Diana," "her" relationships felt threatened by cross dressing, and were even jealous of "Diana's" appearance (She is very pretty when dressed).
 

 Sexuality
    All  (n=32) of the married men in this sample state that they are heterosexual. Some have stated that they are very faithful to their wives, even though in reality they do have another women in their lives, their female identity. Several men state that their marriages have gotten much better because of their cross dressing.  "Peggy" believes that her:

personal relationships are better because of my feminine side. There seems to be more understanding, patience, sensitivity, feelings and emotions.  As stated previously my wife knows of my CD. Have never been fully dressed during sexual relations. Frequently I will wear some sort of lingerie like panties or a slip. This does not bother her as it often adds to the excitement and pleasure for both of us.

      However, in reality the majority of wives have a problem with their husbands cross dressing. "Patricia" states that she loves her wife, has been faithful to her,  but they have been asexual for over 20 years.  "Janice" states that she usually will be partially dressed in female clothing during sexual relations with her wife, even though her "wife is somewhat turned off by it and only does it because she loves and wants to please me."  "Cynthia" was only able to dress one time, during which time his wife masturbated him.  However, he had to offer her $200.00 to do it.   "Michelle's wife is not aware of her true feelings about cross dressing.  During sex, "Michelle" states:

She has no idea that while she is enjoying sex with her husband, that I am imagining myself as a fairly attractive woman involved with another woman! (How's that for living with a rare condition?  A man who wants to be a woman is hard enough to deal  with, but a man who's driving ambition is to be a lesbian!)
 
    Often, when the wife does know and is confronted by her husband in a nightie or panties, she begins to question her own sexuality. "Kristen" explains:
 
My wife is concerned about what cross dressing means about her sexuality. She is concerned that it means that she might, subconsciously, be a lesbian. This is her expressed reason that she will not participate in sexual relations with me while I am completely cross dressed. Del is absolutely adamant about this, in fact, I am not even allowed into bed after a night out until I have gotten un-"dressed" and have all of my make-up cleaned off. Also, I do not get any kind of physical affection (hugs, kisses, etc.) from Del while I am dressed - either before I go out, or after I get home.

"Janyne"  states:

My marriage is in a state of conflict regarding the crossdressing. I have been celibate for over two years now, not by my choice. My wife can't make love to me just knowing I dress, feeling shaved legs or seeing a painted toe nail repulses her. I grieve for my marriage and the loss of normal relations.

     One aspect of sexuality that seems to be discuss quite a bit is the position a cross dresser is interested in taking while having sexual intercourse.  Quite a few refer to the female position as being "on bottom" and the position they wanted to take either in reality or fantasy.  There could be a number of reasons for this, either that they truly believe that woman are the passive partner who has things done to her during sex, or that they are escaping from the masculine idea that men need to be the aggressor at all times.  Susan H. says:

My wife is understanding, but a goodly distance from approving. She has a "hard time" with my crossdressing but does not ask that I give it up.  I have dressed while having sex much to my, but not my wife's, pleasure. She has tolerated my wearing nightgowns to the point that it seems normal. As I've allowed Susan to develop my desire to be the pursued and not the pursuer has gotten much stronger so that now we both (my wife and I) want to be "on the bottom.

"Tina" does not believe "she" lives up to the idea masculine lover.  She also admits that marriage and sexual relations will not make cross dressing go away.  "She" states:

My relationship with my wife as a companion is very good.  My relationship as a lover is very poor.  I am not gay, however I do not have a strong physical attraction to women. I feel that I am a woman in gender and therefore it is difficult to perform sexually with a woman.  This probably sounds crazy, but I often feel like a lesbian during sex.  I have never been to bed with a man but I have  dated men as a women.  My sex was unknown and I never let the relationship go long enough to lead to anything sexual. In my relationships it is more satisfying for me to be viewed as a woman.   My wife does not know. It is becoming increasingly difficult to lead a double life and my 14 months of marriage have been nice but extremely stressful in that my other self is hidden at home. I made a mistake in not telling her and quite frankly I'm in a real mess.  I guess I had unrealistic thoughts that marriage might make a man out of me. Please tell others it doesn't work that way.

 Further Thoughts on Sexuality and Relationships
         Although I am adding this section to the results, it does not represent only the 32 men who are married and heterosexual.  What follows is an analysis of the questionnaires from all of the respondents.  Upon analyzing their responses to some of the questions, I became aware of some issues that seemed to stand out and deserve to be mentioned.
        It is interesting to note that the majority of men claim that they are heterosexual, yet almost half of them have had sex with other men, usually while dressed as a women.  Many  state that they "fantasize about what it would be like to satisfy a male while dressed up as a female" (Candi W.)  "J.B." and "Jennifer Anne" state that they are heterosexual, yet have had sex with a man, but will only do it while "dressed."  "Melissa" would rather be with a woman, but women are unable to accept "her" cross dressing, so therefore she has sex with men while dressed which still allows her to considered herself heterosexual. "Terri Suzanne" says that the only way "she" would have sex with a man is while dressed, while "Kristen H." states that "she" would only:

have sex while dressed, he would know, and I would only service him.  The relationship would be a female/male relationship and my male anatomy would be ignored as a functioning piece of equipment.

      Giving oral sex to another man while dressed is mentioned by a few of the men.  They state that it is their fantasy to have oral sex with a man and see is as a feminine sexual act.  According to "Kristen H." if she was

with a guy, I would never have sex with a guy if I was the male and it's partly because dressed as a girl, I would be a girl having sex with a guy.  With men it's strictly, I'm the girl and I'll have sex with him as a girl would have sex with him.

Similarly, while "Francis" makes love with his wife, he is sometimes

able to convince her to take the superior position, while I take the inferior position and submitted to her.  I enjoy taking the female role.

"Lucy" states

sexual gratification involves masturbation and fantasizing about being with a man.  When my fantasizing involves a man, I pretend a vibrator is the man.  I give it oral sex and then I use it for rectal masturbation.

    Others who have had sex with men or are thinking about it, seem to have some interesting ideas about how females should and do have sexual relations.  They have perceived, inaccurately I must say, about how women like to have sex.  They have this belief that to having sex as a female can be equated with submission, taking "bottom," and finding uncontrollable sexual satisfaction in "giving blow jobs."  This seems to be just one more time when men have very different ideas about women and their real experiences.
    This might reflect what Almaguer (1991:84) calls the bisexual escape hatch which "functions to insure that the tenuous masculinity of Mexican men is not compromised through the homosexual act; they remain men, hombres, even though they participate in this sexual behavior."  This might be similar to the men who have sex with other men, but do not consider themselves homosexual because they are dressed as women.  It suggests that their "escape hatch" from homosexuality.
     Similarly, the area of the wives of transvestites was problematic for me.  Other studies (Prince, 1967; Feinbloom, 1976; Talamini, 1982; Brown & Collier, 1989; Woodhouse, 1989) have been done on or about the wives, yet only one (Woodhouse, 1989) is grounded from a feminist perspective.  In those other studies, the wives were sometimes viewed as "needing a girlfriend," being the cause of the marital problems, and needing to be supportive of her transvestite husband in order to keep him happy and the marriage together.  First I must state that I did not interview the wives, but that everything in my data is a result of the husbands' perceptions and his answers.
     To begin with is many of the subjects stated that being a transvestite gave them some insight into "what women go through."  They believe that they understand the difficulties women have due to the time it takes to get dressed, put on makeup, and wear high heels all day.  Some even believe that their transvestism has made them a feminist.  It is unclear what their ideas are regarding feminism, but I did not find in any of their answers a deep understanding of any real issues regarding women's oppression or obligations.
    One of the questions asked how their wives felt about their cross dressing behavior, and only 20.5% reported that their wives respond favorably.  However, regardless of how their wives feel, the act still continues.  Many would say their wives hated to see them dressed, yet would say in another part of the questionnaire that they insist on wearing panties and a nightgown to bed.  They know that their wives do not like to have sexual relations while he is dressed, but many state that they do it anyway.  In Dobash & Dobash's (1979:31) book on Violence Against Wives, they quote a fifteenth century translation of the "Knight of La Tour Landry":

"Therefore the wife ought to suffer and let the husband have the word, and be the master."
It seems that domination and patriarchy is still alive and well within the homes of married transvestites.
    Although there is very little literature about wives of transvestites and the quality of their lives, there is information about the wives of bisexual men.  One of the main reasons that there is more information, is that so many more bisexuals have "come out" than transvestites.  Because of this there is more research and more knowledge available.
    There are many similarities between the wives of transvestites and the wives of bisexual/homosexual men.  Many wives were also not told about their husbands  bisexual/homosexual interests prior to marriage (Brownfain, 1985; Auerback & Moser, 1987; Hays & Samuels, 1989) either because the man hoped he would quit or be able to hide his secret.  This most often didn't work out. Brownfain (1985:182) states that "in a world of assumptions about exclusive heterosexuality, the decision to marry is most often made before one's sexual identity is fully recognized."  Many thought that marriage would keep them monogamous and repress the desire to partake in bisexual/homosexual activities and that a man cannot actually tell his wife about himself until he fully knows and understands it himself.
      Many wives of bisexual/homosexual men remained in their marriage because of finances (Gochros, 1985).  They become seriously depressed and have a dramatic loss of self esteem, and "a strong sense of isolation."   When the disclosure had taken place, it transferred the stigma the husband was holding onto the wife, who was then stigmatized by whomever they told (Gochros, 1985).  Their stigma over the bisexuality or homosexuality of their husbands left them believing that divorce and counseling was not an option (Auerback & Moser, 1987).
     Many do not have anyone to confide in and have no idea where to get help or support.   The only support groups for the wives of transvestites are those that are based around the organizations that their husbands belong to and are mainly to teach the wives how to be "good" wives of transvestites (Prince, 1967).  Studies on the wives of homosexual/bisexual men found that outside support groups offered support that enabled wives to deal with the anger, hurt, betrayal, sexuality within their marriages. and children.
 

          In this analysis, I have presented data from a questionnaire in which respondents were queried about their ideas on masculinity and their lifestyles as transvestites.  Three approaches were used to obtain subjects for this study, transvestite organization newsletters, the journal Tapestry, and a computer bulletin board called Fem Net.  Two parts of the five page questionnaire were used to obtain information.  The first part of the questionnaire was the demographic section in which 122 subjects were used, and the data were compiled by the use of a statistical program.
        The subjects of this study were a select sample because 1) the respondents needed to have come into contact with my advertisements; 2) had to be willing to write to ask for a questionnaire; 3) have me send one to their address, respond, and return it to me and; 4) they had to pay for their own mailing.  Regardless, the response rate was still high, with 83% of the subjects who asked for a questionnaire, completing the process, and returning completed questionnaires.  Most sent pictures also.
         Secondly, the open ended questionnaire section was transcribed for 32 subjects who stated that they were married and heterosexual.  I narrowed this project down to those men because I hoped to see how they managed their lifestyles within their role of male head of a household and how cross dressing is managed with the rest of their family obligations.  Some of the topics, such as the information about the wives of transvestites, is only as accurate as the respondents want to be.  I have reported their stories about their lives and how they manage them as they have reported them to me.  Further studies must be done to see how accurate their interpretations are.
        All of the relationships originally expected were found to be upheld empirically.  The men in this study believe that gender roles are dichotomous and that they have no freedom to express any traits that they believe are feminine within the confines of their masculine role.  For instance, they discern that men need to be "macho" and/or "Rambo" types and that to show what they believe would be feminine emotions or traits would let themselves be labeled as not "true" men.  For transvestites, it is far more easier and acceptable to show feminine stereotypes while dressed as women than to be seen by society as less of a man in their male role.
         The majority of men in this study began cross dressing at a very early age.  From an early age, they learned about the scripts that society has governing sex, gender, and sexuality and that for an individual to deviate from these scripts often leads to considering oneself deviant.  Based on previous studies that show how "deviants" go through the process of becoming deviant (Becker, 1963; Adler & Adler, 1983), I believe that transvestites also go through a similar process' or career paths.  All of the subjects in this sample went through basically the same orderly sequence that Becker's (1963) marijuana users and Adler & Adler's (1983) drug traffickers went through as they developed their deviant identity.  According to Becker (1963) the individual must first behave in some way that is considered nonconforming, which for the transvestite is the act of cross dressing.  This act is not consciously motivated, and most often originates during childhood when they don't yet understand the implications of what they are doing.  In the second step, the behavior is sporadic and dependent on chance factors such as availability, secrecy, and/or fear of punishment from family, friends or employer.  The transvestite realizes that he needs to hide his behavior and fears repercussions from his parents and siblings.  The final step in the career often times includes involvement in an organized deviant group, which is where many transvestites get a sense of belonging.  Finally, similar to Adler & Adler's (1983) drug traffickers, many transvestites oscillate in and out of cross dressing by purging their female apparel, yet few, if any are successful in leaving the activity.
         After years of cross dressing within the privacy of their own home, the transvestite often ventures towards an transvestite organization or subculture, which provides a way of lessening the stigma attached to being a transvestite (Kitsuse, 1962; Becker, 1963; Laws & Schwartz, 1977; Michener, DeLamater, Schwartz, & Merton, 1990).   People within a transvestite group have their "deviant" activity in common which is often beneficial and stigma reducing while increasing their opportunity to interact with others (Laws & Schwartz, 1977).  This has a powerful impact upon a transvestite while lessening his sense of loneliness and isolation.
        Once a transvestite is established within a social organization and is able to be around other transvestites, he learns the role and vocabularies associated with cross dressing behavior or the scripts  (Gagnon & Simon, 1973; Laws & Schwartz, 1977; Simon and Gagnon, 1984).  He finds other "sorority sisters" who can instruct him on ways to do makeup, dress, and deal with family and friends.  A group also provides opportunities for cross dressers to go out to restaurants and even the theater, within the safe confines of a group of transvestites.
          Brierley (1979) states that transvestism is a "hidden phenomenon."  I believe he is correct; it is. There is no way of knowing how many men cross dress, but there is reason to believe the behavior is more common than one might think.  Keeping in mind there are various degrees in which one can cross dress, this study is only reaching a select few.  There are many cross dressers who are impossible to reach.
       However, within this project the subjects are quite varied.  They are not from one group, but from many.   Subjects who participated in this project are from all over the United States and even one outside the US.  Some are very experienced at managing their lives as cross dressers, while others are still very much "still in the closet."
         The various sources used to obtain subjects and the anonymity that was offered to the respondents through questionnaires and computer bulletin boards, has led to some new respondent participation in this project.  Previous research typically had an easy to reach sample that might have particpated in other studies.  Traditionally researchers have obtained their subjects and data from medical clinics, when the cross dresser has come for help (Green, 1987; Doctor, 1988).  Virginia Prince (1967) had a large sample of transvestites through "her" activities within transvestite organization, while Feinbloom (1976) and Woodhouse (1989) went to transvestite groups and clubs, where they met with subjects.  While those projects are good, the downfall is that people within a group tend to be very familiar with one another and their histories.  They have rehearsed their stories, spoken to, and spent time with one another.
        Many of the findings in this study are similar to previous studies, including age, education, marital status, and race.  However, there are some things that need to be expounded upon about these results.  Unfortunately, this study and most others have little, if anything, to reveal about race other than Caucasians.  Only 7.4% of the subjects in this sample were people of color.  Does this indicate to us that people who are not white do not participate in cross dressing behavior?   I don't believe so.  I think that based on the higher than average economic and educational status of the subjects in this sample, that I was only able to reach subjects who have the opportunity to come into contact with newsletters, journals, and computer bulliten boards. But I don't believe that only Caucasions are cross dressing.  Studies need to be done to investigate why minority cross dressers are depicted in movies like "Paris is Burning" as homosexual drag queens, while Causcasions do not.  I would think that it has more to do with the even stricter guidelines that govern sex, gender, and sexuality for minority men.
        When starting this study I was given encouragement and thanks from many of my respondents for taking on such a project.  They wanted information about themselves and their lives to be made public that would represent them as "just everyday people, who desire to cross dress."  I take their faith my work and their trust in what I am trying to do quite seriously and have tried to represent them accurately to the best of my ability.  However, some of the data became problematic for me and I have struggled with how to handle both the information about the respondents sexuality and their wives.  I sense that they are not going to like what I have to say, and I fear some will feel betrayed.  However,  I have a responsibility to  describe all my findings and while looking at the data from a feminist perspective, which is quite different from most other studies, I believe my ideas need to be addressed here.
         Referring back to Gagnon's (personal interview 5/92) discussion about women being divided into "women's work" and "sex work", I find it very interesting to note that virtually all of the men in this sample did not have a clear idea of what being a women really involves.  Some stated that it gave them insight into women's problems and issues, yet those issues seem to be "how long it takes women to get dressed and put on makeup."  Not one mentioned real issues that women deal with such as dual jobs, caretaking, domestic work, and sexual work within a relationship.  Similarly, they did not mention how powerless women are in many cases over their own lives and what takes place within them.  They seem to be very interested in how being a transvestite affects them, but not how it affects the person they were living with who might not like the cross dressing behavior, yet was unable to stop it and was encouraged, many times unwillingly, to participate it in.
        Very few men in this study wanted to change their sex.  In fact, most were quite adamant in answering "NO!", they would not change their sex.   I believe that it is because they really don't want to be a women.  Although they like "playing" at being a women, there is a part of them that realizes that being a woman, means not being a man.  They  realize that to cut off their penis means to cut off their power, which they won't do.
 

Contact Information

Diane Kholos Wysocki, Ph.D.
Department of Sociology
University of Nebraska at Kearney
Kearney, NE 68849-1295
wysockid@unk.edu