For centuries Jews have asked themselves and each other what does it mean to be a Jew. We in Tri-ess have been asking what it means to be a ‘crossdresser’ for considerably less time. We talk about a second self, but that seems strangely limited if our second identity is consigned to monthly meetings of people approximating our experience. On the other hand, we claim we are not transsexual, that the second is not our only or real self, one we have to alter our bodies to realize and experience. There is also a tension of identification and self-revelation. Is it legitimate to simply go out in public and say, treat me as I present regardless of my history and genitals? Is there a middle ground, and if there is how do we find it?

One of the pathways that some transgendered people explore is participation in a church group in their other or preferred gender presentation. Preoperative transsexuals, seeking to complete their real-life-test prior to surgery most commonly do this. Rather than use their habitual or birth church they may seek one that has announced that it is GLBT friendly. But what do congregations really mean when the say they are GLBT friendly? What does that T mean? And does it include second-selves?

To explore this question, I attended services at Chevrei-Tikva, a self-proclaimed GLBT synagogue in meeting alternate Friday evenings in Cleveland Heights. Oneg Shabbat, as it is called, was once a regular part of my life, but I realized after a while that the social aspects and after-services folk dancing on Friday evenings was far more important to me than any spiritual content. Returning to a Friday night service was a dubious enterprise at best.

Making the enterprise even more dubious is the problem of self-identification. It’s easy enough to say that I’m attending the group primarily to write an article about it as a resource for transgendered people. And I’m pleased to report that I was well received. No questions about when did you transition, or when will you transition, or what’s your real name. The service was enjoyable, this one both celebrating the conversion of a woman after long study, who ordered the service, and the holiday of Sukkot. The female cantor accompanied herself on the guitar. Friends of the service leader from a Unitarian Church in Youngstown attended.

Later, Nancy Huntsman, president of the congregation told me she hoped I’d come back in the future, but confided that some of the membership wasn’t on board with the T in GLBT. And I had a nice chat with two women, possibly a couple who invited me to join them at the theatre on Sunday. (see Cleveland Public Theatre). I think if attending Friday services were a meaningful thing for me, this would be a good place to be.

At the end of it all, I’m left with the question of what does it mean to be a Jew and for me to be a Jew. And is it right for me to express my sense of self as woman through the vehicle of religion if 24/7 isn’t even remotely a goal? I can’t answer that yet. But if you are a Jewish sister in the area, and you share this problem, you can safely attempt to answer it on your own at Chevrei Tikva.

Diane Sofia Frank

Congregation Chevrei Tikva

(216) 932 5551

http://uahcweb.org/congs/oh/oh017/main.htm