Although out of our normal scope, as part of our support services we do list some resources for transsexuals. A new workshop, Metamorphosis is running at the GLBT Center on Detroit. Lead by Sharay and Taylor the focus of this group is getting over the hurdles of transition with minimum cost and most effective effort. Details are listed on the web site.

On the way to check out the above, I stopped by a Payless Shoestore where I learned that a friend was right and I was wrong. Payless size 13 boots fit my feet even if I can’t get into flats the same size. Finally a nice pair of boots. I also stopped for dinner at Market 25 in Ohio City, sampling one of Denajua’s crepes (brie and ham…lovely) and some sensuous cashew chocolate bark from Séshart for dessert. A safe, artsy environment. Next time I’ll try the Sushi. I also found a lovely silver bangle there.

I had a wonderful time seeing Giselle on Halloween. From a technical point of view the choreography is antique and the formal language of ballet pantomime comical, but the ballet is still a great work, and a lovely choice by Linda Jackson for the Halloween weekend. Of course the dancing by the American Ballet Theatre of New York was superb. A ballerina friend restarting her life anew in Cleveland accompanied me. I asked her to join us at the last minute, having missed my cue the first time I realized she had no plans to go on her own and wanted company. It turned out that the rest of the women either were ill or had schedule conflicts, so my last minute addition proved to be my only companion for the evening. During our dinner conversation (appetizers only, we do have to consider how we’ll look in class on Monday) at Ciao, Mme. B. thought that expressing my "femme" side must be very liberating, something she relates to as she experiences being on her own for the first time in years.

Even though she couldn’t make it to Giselle on Halloween, Mme S. did find the time that day to take me over and introduce me to Shaker Square Accessories, where I had a second round of cutting done on my new acquisition from Hair Options. Shaker Square Accessories also features wigs, jewelry, jewelry repair and earring conversion services. Owners Walter and Merlyn Wenson would welcome our business. Contact details are on the website. Their daughter, a beautician already does private transformations for a client.(vide infra) For some of us this is considerably closer than the shops in the far suburbs. It is also another entrée to the African American community, something Alpha Omega needs to focus on.

After a getting my hair taken care of, I then went directly to the house of a friend who was having a computer problem and up against a tight deadline to finish an editing job. This was one of those decisions we all dread, the kind of choice-"do you stop to help in an emergency when you’re dressed?". Given my commitments that day, there was no time to change and then go over. Halloween was no shield either as Mme. A. quickly discerned the difference between identity and costume. The computer problem turned out to be trivial, and in gratitude, embarrassment and solicitude for the absence of my spouse I was invited over for dinner on Monday with Mme. and Mssr. A. I know some people love to talk about why they do this, but honestly I find it a bore and an invitation for judgment based on why rather than, am I presenting and behaving in a way that makes you want to continue have a friendship with me? I’m not sure who will be grilled for dinner on Monday, the salmon…or me.

I find that I’m affected more and more by stories of loss and redemption as I get older and see more of the sorrowful sides of life. I recently attended a theatrical presentation and movie that dealt with these themes. The problem from a club point of view is that these events dealt with these themes from the perspective of the gay male community. There don’t seem to be theatrical presentations that show the losses and redemption of heterosexual crossdressers…all we seem to be allotted is farce. Homosexuals and transsexuals seem to have the monopoly on true drama and comedy. Still looking at the broad outlines, one can find something to identify with in these shows: even straight audiences enjoy them.

"Falsettos" was presented as a reading, at the Weathervane Playhouse in Akron on two successive Monday evenings. Originally two separate one-act musicals, the combined show deals with the fallout of a man leaving his wife for another man, and then the men breaking up in the first act. In the second act the two men are reunited around the son’s bar mitzvah only to lose one to AIDS during the ceremony. It is easy enough to recast the drama with the 3rd side of the triangle as the femme side of the husband disrupting the marriage. Given the death and illness we’ve experienced in our chapter this year, the shadow cast by HIV/AIDS isn’t difficult to relate to either.

"Sordid Lives" is a star-filled funny wish fulfillment comedy catering to gay male myths. For example, the gay man who comes out to find out that everyone already knew is worked to death in this story. In this world it’s the straights who are eccentric and out of control, while the gays are the ones who see life clearly, if a bit over dramatically. Since our gentle readers are not likely to go see this on their own, it does no harm to reveal that the cross dressing scenes of Beau Bridges in an ill-fitting lacy bra over a hairy chest are done at gunpoint forced by a vengeful pair of women. Humiliation of straight men is another element of the gay canon. But it’s hard to deny them the indulgence given the general opprobrium that gays get in this country and much of the rest of the world. At the end, family reunites despite the difficulties in sorting out their sordid lives. Sordid Lives ran at the Cleveland Cinematheque from Nov 1-3.

The Ohio Independent Film Festival was featured this past week at the Cleveland Public Theaters Gordon Square Theater. Our friend, voice coach and guest speaker for last month Ellen Friedman had a role in a film titled "This Train". The story had some vivid images and characterizations, but I felt that it borrowed mood from "Oh Brother, where art thou?" Apparently, the Arch Angel Michael is incarnated in the body of a woman who has been struck by lightening. Michael wanders off to collect people with troubled lives and bring them to spiritual redemption. The problem with a mysterious and mystical film is that it can also be incomprehensible. Ellen’s big scenes were left on the cutting room floor, but she’s getting more and more work, so we can hope to see her performances in something else soon. There was an after party at the somewhat notorious Domino lounge on Prospect Street afterwards. I dropped in and had some brisket, but didn’t think it a good idea to stay too late.

The next night featured two films with transgendered themes, organized by Carol Tavris. The first was another mystical spiritual vision, heavy on cheap video effects about the murder of a transgendered (MtF) Navaho girl. The second was an extraordinarily brave film by young man exploring his father’s transsexuality. "The Myth of Father" was unflinching and his father comes off as selfish, self absorbed and "she" certainly didn’t register as a woman to me. There was a panel discussion afterward. People from Trans Family including Bob and Karen Gross, and Jake and Erin, the couple trying to get married down in Trumbull County were the principle speakers. I had an interesting conversation with Carol at the wine and cheese reception afterwards and she invited me to join their group for dinner afterwards at Minh Anh. Dinner was lovely, with absolutely no discussion gender issues at all. Nor as I ever asked to explain my appearance or choices. I skipped the film festival after party this time, even though it was at another location, as I was tired and had to leave for California in the morning.

In California, I had lunch with and spent an enchanting afternoon with Denae Doyle, a presentation coach who works with the transgendered. I’m not going to summarize our discussions here as they merit a separate article. I hope to have reviewed the draft with her in time for the January Newsletter. (Her daughter’s wedding is coming up, so I think it appropriate to give her some breathing room…heaven knows I need it. (grin)) She did suggest that if I was looking a better foundation, I try Channel counter at Gottschalls, an upscale department store just a few feet from the popular Japanese restaurant where we lunched….and then we kept on chatting for 4 hours. I’m delighted to report that the Channel double perfection matte beige applied as a liquid with a brush is the best foundation I’ve yet discovered. Finally something that looks smooth going on, and maintains a natural surface when others start to look like the porous foam rubber used for the Muppets.

There is an upcoming special on the Discovery channel (Sunday, November 24th, 2002 at 10:00 PM) about the transition process for MtF transsexuals that features in Denae working with one of her clients. While of course Triess members are not, with a few exceptions transition bound, Denae expects that the show will give people a good idea about her methods and what to expect.

Because I’d made an error on my return flight to Cleveland, I had some extra time, and by rearranging my Tuesday appointment was able to make the 4.5 hour drive down to Santa Barbara to help a high school friend who I’m out to celebrate her 51st birthday at a Mexican Restaurant. I had a number of interesting conversations. The woman sitting next to me is about to travel around the world, working her way as she goes teaching English as a second language. This is not a young woman doing this either or for the first time. Then there is one woman whose 90-year-old mother has taken up with a 60 year old pre-op TS. The mother is courageous and the daughter, an out lesbian, a bit freaked. It seems that her biggest issue was not reading the supposed TS as a woman, just as a guy with a kink and badly in need of a reality check. I never know what to say to this, as it’s not politically correct to tell any transperson that they aren’t 100% right about whatever mythology of their self they believe in.

To cap the week of, immediately after my return from the left coast, I scooted down to Akron to hear Dr. Drew Pinsky speak. I had been invited to a dinner reception before hand, but didn’t get to sit at the table with Dr. Drew.

On the way down to Akron I stopped by A to Z Accessories on Lee Road near Harvard. A to Z is run by Angela, the daughter of the owners of Shaker Square Accessories. Angela caters to a number of crossdressing members of the African American Community from this little shop where she carries some second hand clothing as well as wigs and jewelry. Detail are on the website.

Back to Pinksy. They pretty much filled the first floor of E.J. Thomas Hall with undergraduates. Pinsky is a smooth and effective public speaker, candidly and unblushingly discussing relationship and sexual issues. His theme for this nearly totally straight, nearly totally white college crowd where the co-eds outnumbered the boys 3 or 4 to one was that in the years between 18and 28 boys and girls are as different from each other as they can get. He explained the differences on the basis of brain development and chemistry and the influence of hormones. He did not venture into any sort of gender/trans issues except in response to a question. His reply was somewhat unfortunate: he indicated that he had no expertise in the area and that he had no control over the content of "his" website. He also indicated that the only context in which he had contact with this community was in context of his professional work in mental health, that is dealing with severely dysfunctional and addicted people. The implication that this was the only place you’d find people dealing with trans issues was unavoidable, even if it wasn’t, as he later said, his intent. At the reception after the show I had a chance to ask him whether he thought that his message was reaching the kids and doing any good. He candidly replied that he had no idea, and it would be worth a good study.

The following night, I was a guest on a panel put together by the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender Student group at U Akron, and the Akron Pride Center. I spoke as a representative of Alpha Omega. All of the panelists were TS or TS spouses except for myself, my friend Ms. K- a butch lesbian, and a psychologist Dr. V. My contributions to the discussion included a plea not to try to categorize people by tables and labels, and to look at the merits of individuals as you find them. After several rounds of the usual stories from TS about how miserable they were before transition and how happy they are now, I felt it important, even if the whole story game is just that, for the audience to know that not everyone dealing with transgender issues is unhappy. So I told them, albeit reluctantly, a bit about myself. I found myself in a disagreement with Dr. V who believes there is such a thing a "core gender identity" that can be discerned from the stories people tell about themselves. My experience is that trans-narratives are entirely self-serving. They are crafted to get past gatekeepers such as Dr. V who can prescribe hormones and surgery. The stories borrow from other stories that have "worked" in the past and hence cannot be relied on as evidence for the existence of something called a "core gender identity" that is independent of gender performance, clothing, sexuality etc. Finally, at the very end, I noted that this kind of forum is a necessary evil. The people who would be watching the tape in the future were sitting in a position of judgement. Growing up immersed in heterosexual privilege and accustomed to heterosexual expression, they would expect they had such a right of judgement. I insisted that they really didn’t, and that it was past time for our society to move beyond this, to accepting the variations of sexuality and gender and seeing people as individuals.

The evening didn’t end there, as couple who I’d sent information to via the internet expressed a desire to talk further with me. So we went over to Alladin’s for a later dinner where we talked more. I’m hoping they’ll consider joining us at our Christmas party.

And that’s what’s been going on around town…except for one thing coming up on November 23rd. A full production of "The Sissy Show" will be taking place at 7:30 PM at the Cleveland Heights Unitarian Universalist Church. This transgender musical review covers the gamut of transgender issues and expressions. You can expect a large Unitarian crowd to attend this event. If you are looking for a first place to be en femme in a public setting you couldn’t ask for a safer, more accepting group to start with. The doors open at 6:45 and parking can be somewhat tricky in the Coventry District. There is a listing on the AO website with more details on this event.