Labels

DIANE
A doctor I know tells the following story. A young boy, who was told he had attention deficit disorder started acting up in class. It turned out that he had interpreted the diagnosis to mean he wasn’t getting enough attention, and decided to take matters into his own hands and get more.

This is the problem with labels that isn’t, I think, recognized enough. When people ask what they mean, they are asking for a shortcut to finding out about themselves, rather than doing the work. But in the area of who we are and what makes our lives better, I don’t think there are shortcuts. Your mileage may vary and one size does not fit all. What works for Mary may not work for Sue.

We are all sensitive to the problem of the baggage other people attach to labels. But we may not be sensitive enough to our attachment to our own labels and the implied consequences of owning them. So if you choose to call yourself something crossdresser, transvestite, t-girl, transgender what are you buying into that may not really be you? What appeals to you about a self-label? Make a list of what you do and what you believe. How well does that list match up with what you think goes on with those labels? Do you ever find yourself saying “well, I’m an X- so I oughta try this stuff out?” Or do you think “I really want to be this rather than that, so I’ll change this or that?” To me those are warning signs of taking shortcuts. My advice? Don’t.

Diane